Socionics relationship between your parents

[1981slater]

Biological parents, BTW

[Aleksei]

Duals (EIE-Fe/LSI-Se).

[Azeroffs]

benefit LSE father/ ILE mother

[Aiss]

Duals.

And for the record, that's not how I typed them.

[Crispy]

Semi-Duals and they show it.

[redbaron]

mine are semis also. IEE and SEI.

[silverchris9]

Duals or conflictors. Leaning duals based on individual analysis, leaning conflictors based on relationship analysis (i.e., they're definitely better off without one another, suppression of "true self" in the relationship--although some people argue that's just what happens in relationships, lol).

[Galen]

Si-ESFj dad, Si-ISFp mom

[1981slater]

Duality is leading!

[redbaron]

Duals or conflictors. Leaning duals based on individual analysis, leaning conflictors based on relationship analysis (i.e., they're definitely better off without one another, suppression of "true self" in the relationship--although some people argue that's just what happens in relationships, lol).

uh, no. my brother and SIL are duals and they're textbook two sides of the same coin. They wouldn't be THEMSELVES without each other at this point. They're integrated, better because of the other. I don't see how any dual couple truly committed to the relationship could be better off without each other, regardless of subtype or any other kind of details. MAYBE if one or both are extremely unhealthy. Talk to us about your parents, maybe we can figure it out! lol

[Creepy-male]

MAYBE if one or both are extremely unhealthy.

Bing bing bing!

Except it's not a maybe, and it doesn't have to be extreme levels of unhealthiness. Stressors from outside the relationship can also break things down (say if Chris's parents were experiencing financial hardship or something).

Also, funnily enough, serious differences in values are what tend to drive the "bad" intertype relationships. In Socionics terms these value clashes are related to the assumptions one makes about how the world works and how people interact with and understand it. You can have value clashes outside of Socionics that will interfere with an otherwise positive intertype, making each partner seem incomprehensible to the other.

[The Exception]

Assuming I have typed my parents correctly, they would have a superego relation. My mom is EII my dad is LSI. I'm still not entirely sure of my dad's type. The other option would be SLI but in terms of relations, my parents fit the superego description far better than activity.

[redbaron]

Bing bing bing!

Except it's not a maybe, and it doesn't have to be extreme levels of unhealthiness. Stressors from outside the relationship can also break things down (say if Chris's parents were experiencing financial hardship or something).

Also, funnily enough, serious differences in values are what tend to drive the "bad" intertype relationships. In Socionics terms these value clashes are related to the assumptions one makes about how the world works and how people interact with and understand it. You can have value clashes outside of Socionics that will interfere with an otherwise positive intertype, making each partner seem incomprehensible to the other.

yeah you're totally right. In my brother's (lucky) case, all of their values, socionics and otherwise, line up like ducks in a row.

[April]

I'm happy to see the number of duals.

Mine are illusionaries: IEE (mother) and ILI (father). They were married for 21 years.

[Marie84]

Supervision to a "T", mom (ILE) dad (LSI), they're still married

[Blaze]

Mine are illusionaries: IEE (mother) and ILI (father). They were married for 21 years.

that's encouraging. not...no longer married?

[Blaze]

duals a big lead
supervision & benefit tied for second
activity and semi dual tied for third
mirror, lookalike, comparative, illusionary coming in fourth

interesting....about 30% are duals 70% non duals. does this explain divorce?

[Aleksei]

interesting....about 30% are duals 70% non duals. does this explain divorce?

Well, 48% belong to type relations I'd expect to work out properly (dual, kindred, activity, mirror, identity), but yeah probably.

[Cuddly McFluffles]

Biological parents, BTW

My stepfather is the only father figure I have had, so he is being listed. My mother is ESE, though I am willing to consider EIE, and my stepfather may well be LSI; so possible semi-/duals. They've been married roughly 17.5 years, and she stays for the kids' sake. She jokes that she can tell PMS has hit when she starts considering murder or divorce. She gets tired of always being wrong, always being at fault, and being treated like she's stupid.

[Aleksei]

That doesn't sound like a dual relationship. Given the choices it's most likely she actually is ESE.

[Cuddly McFluffles]

That doesn't sound like a dual relationship. Given the choices it's most likely she actually is ESE.

Yeah. My reasons for considering EIE have nothing to do with their relationship. I just hadn't ruled out Ni>Si.

[Blaze]

Well, 48% belong to type relations I'd expect to work out properly (dual, kindred, activity, mirror, identity), but yeah probably.

kindred??? identity??? mirror??? wow i really don't think so.

[Aleksei]

Why not?

[Cuddly McFluffles]

Mostly the way she neglects her appearance. She dressed others well but didn't always take the time to do the same for herself. She also gets tired of Dad being too "nice" to people who need to be firmly told "this is how it is". The arguments for Si that I can think of are a sort of short-term view concerning money (she needs to learn to save for upcoming things better) and her tendency to redecorate the main bathroom with the seasons. Some ESE things do fot, and it doesn't seem bad, really; I'm just not 100% set on it.

[Blaze]

Why not?

kindred: massive competition and differences in expectations

mirror: mini supervision and with logicals, who the heck does the ethics?

identity: boring

[1981slater]

interesting....about 30% are duals 70% non duals. does this explain divorce?

Maybe

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

[Jarno]

kindred: massive competition and differences in expectations

mirror: mini supervision and with logicals, who the heck does the ethics?

identity: boring

yep, though identity and mirror have a bigger succes rate when it is between ethicals.

[Exodus]

Assuming I have typed my parents correctly, they would have a superego relation. My mom is EII my dad is LSI. I'm still not entirely sure of my dad's type. The other option would be SLI but in terms of relations, my parents fit the superego description far better than activity.

Wow, this is an unusual one. Most romantic relationships I see are between extro/intro types, especially Dual, Mirror, Supervision, and Conflict. (@Blaze Mirror seems to be pretty common, actually. Possibly second after Dual.)

[DirectorAbbie]

Duals in socionics, conflictors in enneagram.

[MatthewZ]

I'm pretty sure there's some - interaction going on there. Not sure what. I heard someone suggest ILE father-SEI mother, once, but my father doesn't seem to have the "expansiveness" of an -base, although it's possible.

[Blaze]

My parents are LSI (f) / LIE (m). Had a really terrible relationship, and are now divorced. Don't fall for your illusionary...

aw too bad. two logicals...that's the downfall.

the success of illusionary depends quite a bit on the issue of rationality.

how long were your parents married?

also i have seen mirror work, like jarno said between ethicals it works a lot better than between logicals.

[redbaron]

also i have seen mirror work, like jarno said between ethicals it works a lot better than between logicals.

yes. I know a couple of SEI/ESE mirror couples that seem okay. I also know a LSI/SLE couple that's had more rough spots, probably because they lack the ethical element.

[munenori2]

I've only ever typed my parents as either mirror (LSE SLI) or supervision (ESE SLI), but I'm not sure that relationship really describes their dynamic. They separated when I was seven or eight, but neither really dated or even gotten divorced. They've always been good friends. In fact, they still hang out with each other on a pretty much daily basis. I don't know why they split. Maybe they lost trust in each other, maybe they just had too much of each other, or it's some sort of conflict that only happened when they live in the same house (not that I remember anything).

My mom is definitely the dominant one in the relationship. She's pretty energetic, likes to get things done, very talkative. My dad is laidback, seems to have some experience with just about anything that needs to be done, and doesn't say too much. My mom, as fond of exaggeration as she's prone to be, said my dad didn't hardly say a word to her for the first few months they were dating. He's patient, caring, quiet. I've only seen him get angry a few times in my life, mostly about politics. My dad is kind of rigidly ideological. It's not that he has well thought out arguments for his beliefs, if he does he doesn't particularly share them. It's more like an emotional reaction. This is good. This is right. My mom is a lot more pragmatic in that sense. She has her own beliefs but she's more flexible about them. She wants to know why you believe what you do and she'll explain why she does. She's not a fan of inconsistency or hypocrisy. That said, they both have very similar conservative political beliefs.

[Exodus]

aw too bad. two logicals...that's the downfall.

the success of illusionary depends quite a bit on the issue of rationality.

Actually, I know an SEI-SLE couple and it seems to be pretty much the same relationship. But who knows...

how long were your parents married?

Something like 10-12 years.

also i have seen mirror work, like jarno said between ethicals it works a lot better than between logicals.

Hmm, idk. My aunt and uncle are SLI/LSE and they seem to be doing well. I actually don't know about any mirror relations that went terribly wrong.

[Exodus]

My mom, as fond of exaggeration as she's prone to be,

Hmm, I don't know any LSEs that I would say are fond of exaggeration. This is just a tiny piece of information, but it definitely points to ESE > LSE.

[Blaze]

Actually, I know an SEI-SLE couple and it seems to be pretty much the same relationship. But who knows...

yeah i know a couple like this too she is SLE and he is SEI. they get along pretty good. i haven't seen any bad spots w them yet.

Something like 10-12 years.

yes this is the breaking point for a lot of marriages: the tricky years: 7, 11, and around 20.

Hmm, idk. My aunt and uncle are SLI/LSE and they seem to be doing well. I actually don't know about any mirror relations that went terribly wrong

i can think of two mirror marriages one is IEE and EII and the other was LII and ILE. the ethical one is fine at 8 years and seems none the worse for the wear. the other one ended at around 5 or 5 years: too much logic.

[Creepy-male]

yes this is the breaking point for a lot of marriages: the tricky years: 7, 11, and around 20.

Interesting, why would that be?

[pianosinger]

aw too bad. two logicals...that's the downfall.

the success of illusionary depends quite a bit on the issue of rationality.

Agreed. My illusionary and I are both irrationals. And I'm a Feeler and he's a Thinker. We sometimes seem more like semi-duals, too. And sometimes like business.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

esfj/intj text book example of duals.

[redbaron]

interesting that there are no identicals. Come to think of it, I don't believe I know ANY identical marriages whatsoever. Anyone else?