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Thread: have tos

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    Blaze's Avatar
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    Default have tos

    seems like i have a million of these. things i have to do but dont want to do. for example, like spend 1500 coming to costa rica for my brothers wedding. my brother who i get maybe a yearly email from, or maybe see once a year. bah.

    i was thinking about how i have to spend my time and its almost 95 percent have to. probably common for my age where you have maximum responsibility. its a tough stage for sure.

    but anyway, i was thinking it is Se role related. dont wanna but you have to. thoughts?

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Le roi internet Bluenoir's Avatar
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    You don't HAVE to do anything, it's just highly recommended.

    Could be Fi related, are you going to your brothers wedding due to your desire to maintain the personal relationship with him?

    My understanding of Se, is the ability to recgnize social alignment of the forces at any situation, as well as manipulate them to one's will.

    Fi, as i understand it, is the element responsible for social obligation, as it is all to do with the maintenance of relations.
    Last edited by Bluenoir; 11-05-2010 at 12:50 PM.
    The mode of goodness conditions one to happiness, passion conditions him to the fruits of action, and ignorance to madness.

    Chapter 14, Verse 9.
    The Bhagavad Gita

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    i know, but essentially the same thing. the key is acceptance.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Creepy-bg

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    *gone*
    Last edited by bg; 11-05-2010 at 01:17 PM.

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    Blaze's Avatar
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    welll, ok

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Creepy-bg

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    sorry lol. I said that too harsh. I meant it in a good way, but it came out as dickishness.

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    Blaze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isotope View Post
    You don't HAVE to do anything, it's just highly recommended.

    could be Fi related, are you going to your brothers wedding due to your desire to maintain the personal relationship with him?

    My understanding of Se, is the ability to recgnize social alignment of the forces at any situation, as well as manipulate them to one"s will.

    Fi, as i understand it, is the element responsible for social obligation, as it is all to do with the maintenance of relations.
    i think your edited post here is ringing true. to my view, there is not much of a relationship here, so my logical mind doesnt want to give anything. even though im giving by being here i expect there will be no return on this investment.

    i am going so because i want to avoid the consequences associated with not going. going is only a slightly better option, a slim margin for sure. my mother pressured me unbelievably. i dont expect there will be much relationship despite my investment. and, dealing with my family for 4 days is tortureous. it took a lot to get here, i dont really have the money, and im stressed out. and its expected to rain the entire time.

    my mother talked about me already....about how my daughter has problems reading, and how i have an attitude.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Le roi internet Bluenoir's Avatar
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    edited post
    I am sorry about the late edit, but I one of these people who develop thoughts after the fact.
    It's very annoying
    The mode of goodness conditions one to happiness, passion conditions him to the fruits of action, and ignorance to madness.

    Chapter 14, Verse 9.
    The Bhagavad Gita

  9. #9
    Creepy-bg

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    i think your edited post here is ringing true. to my view, there is not much of a relationship here, so my logical mind doesnt want to give anything. even though im giving by being here i expect there will be no return on this investment.

    i am going so because i want to avoid the consequences associated with not going. going is only a slightly better option, a slim margin for sure. my mother pressured me unbelievably. i dont expect there will be much relationship despite my investment. and, dealing with my family for 4 days is tortureous. it took a lot to get here, i dont really have the money, and im stressed out. and its expected to rain the entire time.

    my mother talked about me already....about how my daughter has problems reading, and how i have an attitude.

    ehh that sucks. I think that I would just blow off the family then besides what I had to do, and enjoy the hotel room and rain and being away from home. did you bring the kids? maybe take them out without the rest of your family to explore the hotel. hotels can be magical places to explore if you let yourself have fun with it.

  10. #10
    Creepy-bg

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    bleh sorry blaze.
    Last edited by bg; 11-05-2010 at 04:44 PM.

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    I've actually thought that 'have to's were Te related. Having to do something in order to get some result. I think strong Te is more aware of what has to be done and what doesn't.

    Quote Originally Posted by Isotope View Post
    You don't HAVE to do anything, it's just highly recommended.
    This is an important point though. "Have to"s are contigent upon what result you want.
    Last edited by Azeroffs; 11-05-2010 at 08:31 PM.
    3w4-5w6-9w8

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    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
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    I've actually thought that 'have to's were Te related. Having to do something in order to get some result. I think strong Te is more aware of what has to be done and what doesn't.
    Yeah, that's what I've been thinking. Maybe also a combination with Fi, though. Te sort of realizes the details of causal effects that can't be ignored and Fi defines the broader responsibility these entail.

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    Quote Originally Posted by labcoat View Post
    Te sort of realizes the details of causal effects that can't be ignored and Fi defines the broader responsibility these entail.
    That makes sense

    Like Fi is aware of what ethical relations that exist between individuals and/or the community, and the responsibilities that are implied by that, which defines what kind of results should be achieved.
    3w4-5w6-9w8

  14. #14
    Creepy-male

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    Everyone is right here

    Haftas = super-ego.

    My haftas are:

    I need to do this for some indeterminate future thing because I'm afraid my future will be bad if I don't - , and
    I'm not productive enough, I need to get this done because I have to get things done! -

    There's always a heavy element of fearing criticism from outside when you're operating out of a super-ego element.

    No offence, but you're mum isn't being very nice to you. What's her type? You'd totally be in the right to feel frustrated, so no feeling defeated, ok?

    And yeah, totally with bg. You got coerced into coming on a trip you can't really afford. Abstract Judo that shit and turn it around into an enjoyable 'oliday in Cost Rca(!!!).

    P.S. I don't know if those accents are correct. You should really just read it like it's being said by a Costa Rican. That would be best

  15. #15
    Blaze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thanks Arthur View Post
    Everyone is right here

    Haftas = super-ego.

    My haftas are:

    I need to do this for some indeterminate future thing because I'm afraid my future will be bad if I don't - , and
    I'm not productive enough, I need to get this done because I have to get things done! -

    There's always a heavy element of fearing criticism from outside when you're operating out of a super-ego element.

    No offence, but you're mum isn't being very nice to you. What's her type? You'd totally be in the right to feel frustrated, so no feeling defeated, ok?

    And yeah, totally with bg. You got coerced into coming on a trip you can't really afford. Abstract Judo that shit and turn it around into an enjoyable 'oliday in Cost Rca(!!!).

    P.S. I don't know if those accents are correct. You should really just read it like it's being said by a Costa Rican. That would be best
    omg EXACTLY. this is exactly how im feeling. when you add that i had to pay alot of money to feel this way=total frustration. its like paying to be frustrated. argh.

    bg, dont worry about it. were cool. :wink:

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Meh, these kinds of family obligations sucks. Why don't you just tell him you don't have the money? (even if you do)
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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