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Instinct stackings: sx/sp and internal conflict
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DEEP DOWN INSIDE I FEEL TO SCREAMOriginally Posted by aixelsyd
THIS TERRIBLE SILENCE STOPS ME
Well hugs never hurt. *hug*....
I think you need....a HUG!(yes, DA, I am a total hug-whore). I also have problems. But at least I'm honest. So, nyah!!!!!
How I understand the self-absorption...
The sx/sp's world is their world. Everything is about their own world and how things make them feel. One way of thinking about this that was explained to me--your secondary is your home base, the locus o' focus from which your dominant behaviours and initiatives are launched.
For the /sp/ this base is "the self", be it their comfort, their environment, their inner world, their body, whatever. Then, for the sx/sp, originating from the self come sx pursuits, such as seeking intensity and a feeling of completion or wholeness. The sx/sp thus is always keyed into their inner world, whether they're introverted or extraverted (or so I would expect, feel free to contradict me here).
How I understand the troubled personality...
To begin with, one needs to understand that the sx/sp is intensely self-aware. I would almost say that they cannot lie to themselves--but of course they can (it's just that when those illusions are shattered, for example, they will experience no surprise. "I knew it all along, even if I couldn't face the truth at the time and it got buried again.")
When left to their own devices, they will often unearth various things about themselves, such as buried neuroses, or their own personal inclinations toward or feelings about various things. When embroiled in any deeply intimate relationship, again, they will be exposed to a bunch of stuff. How you deal with someone that close to your heart will reveal volumes about your nature to yourself.
And I'm running out of steam here, sorry. Thoughts?
"I swear, gentlemen, that to be too conscious is an illness – a real thorough-going illness. For man's everyday needs, it would have been quite enough to have the ordinary human consciousness, that is, half or a quarter of the amount which falls to the lot of a cultivated man...especially one who has the fatal ill-luck to inhabit [...] the most theoretical and intentional town on the whole terrestrial globe.... It would have been quite enough, for instance, to have the consciousness by which all so-called direct persons and men of action live."
***
"One's very own free, unfettered desire, one's own whim, no matter how wild, one's own fantasy, even though sometimes roused to the point of madness-all this constitutes precisely that previously omitted, most advantageous advantage which isn't included under any classification and because of which all systems and theories are constantly smashed to smithereens."
***
"And the worst of it was, and the root of it all, that it was all in accord with the normal fundamental laws of over-acute consciousness, and with the inertia that was the direct result of those laws, and that consequently one was not only unable to change but could do absolutely nothing."
***
"Though I did lay it down at the beginning that consciousness is the greatest misfortune for man, yet I know man prizes it and would not give it up for any satisfaction. Consciousness, for instance, is infinitely superior to twice two makes four. Once you have mathematical certainty there is nothing left to do or to understand. There will be nothing left but to bottle up your five senses and plunge into contemplation. While if you stick to consciousness, even though the same result is attained, you can at least flog yourself at times, and that will, at any rate, liven you up. Reactionary as it is, corporal punishment is better than nothing."
***
"Though I have said that I envy the normal man to the point of exasperation, yet I would not care to be in his place as he is now (though I will not stop envying him. No, no; anyway the underground life is more advantageous!) There, at any rate, one can—bah! But after all, even now I am lying! I am lying because I know myself as surely as two times two makes four, that it is not at all underground that is better, but something different, quite different, for which I long but which I cannot find! Damn underground!"
Dostoevsky, "Notes from Underground"
I don't think sx/sp's focus is on their 'inner world' so much as it is on the world they want to have exist externally. An sx/sp would never be satisfied with just living inside themselves, because that's only seen as a secondary or back-up option.
Something in here doesn't seem right to me, but whenever I try to argue against it I always come up empty handed. I'll leave this part be
Here is my interpretation on the "troubled" nature of sx/sp (or at least the E6 sx/sp):
Sx/Sp stackings are very much "all or nothing" types in terms of how their energy is distributed. They very easily vacillate between periods of intense emotional/physical energy and no energy at all, between experiencing the external world in its entirety and coming back home to rest. There is no in-between for them, they can only give everything they have or none of it. This is one reason why they can come off as so conflicted or contradictory, because they possess two opposing forces constantly trying to maintain balance between each other.
Much of the internal conflict also has to do with sp being a sort of hindrance for the more important sx desire. For sx/so I guess it's a bit easier for their sx drives to be met because they're around people more often than their sx/sp variants, allowing for more one-on-one connections to be made via splitting off of the main group (I'd like to hear sx/so's opinions on this though). But for sx/sp, there is no large mass of people to find one-on-one connections with, seeing as how they simply don't know how to function for very long in group situations. If they can't find a group of people they can connect to, they quickly go to their fallback plan, which is to retreat back to the domain. The biggest conflicts for sx/sps occur in this phase, where they understand that their sx desires can't be met in the real world, so they always stay in their Plan B mode. The way that the cycle is broken is simply to go outside and search the world for a way to express their desires for high energy.
I talked with this to Airborne the other night on tinychat, and he brought up the idea that a lot of sx/sp's troubles come from a societal standpoint. His idea is that cultures tend to highly value So interactions (especially Asian countries where group mentality trumps everything). This doesn't seem like a bad thought to me, but it depends on the culture in mind. I'd like to hear other people's opinions on that though, do many societies not provide adequate outlets for So last people?
Lol there is a difference between self-absorption and intrapersonal intelligence. Just because most of society is incapable of making this distinction, don't let that stop you from taking the grand journey of self-discovery.
What people typically mean by self-absorbed is the following
- talks about how awesome they are (esp. in a comparative way)
- un-conscientious about other peoples needs or feelings (esp. because they were distracted by themselves)
If you avoid both of these by having confidence and pride in yourself without needing to compare yourself to others for gratification and being able to be conscientious about those around you in a geninue way. You can pretty much side skirt any worry about being a self-absorbed individual.
Yeah I identify a lot with the OP. However, I wouldn't say that being around other people is a means of detachment from inner turmoil as much as it is a solution to the turmoil.
Actually, is it?
Last edited by Galen; 11-01-2010 at 01:19 AM.
I´m sx/sp.
One thing I observed in all these years of Enneagram studies and interaction with enneagram enthusiasts is this:
the sp stacking seems to be directing the energy/attention/focus totally back to himself. He is totally absorbed and focused on himself, therefore when the sp instinct predominates, a person will be much more into him/herself. This is what makes this person so worried about self-preservation, work, health. Their attention is totally on themselves. They don´t want to merge with another human being or to live with intensity like the sx stacking.
The sx stacking is directed at the environment searching for a mate. Be it a close friendship, a girlfriend/boyfriend, someone to have sex with. They´re directed towards THE OTHER, as one single entity which will hopefully fulfill them.
The so stacking is directed at THE OTHERS, as a collective. It is directed at the whole group and its interactions, society and its customs, what´s hot and what´s not hot at a given moment in a certain culture, trends and behaviors.
The sx/sp is then conflicted because of the simple fact that the sx [here dominant] wants to explode in intensity, the same intensity of sex and orgasm - thus the name 'sexual' for this stacking - while the sp instinct is totally the opposite, it wants to maintain itself, to guard itself from any explosion, to keep itself alive and healthy.
In a psychological sense the sp dominant is 'survival-traumatized' and thus seeks to survive first and foremost - every other pursuit is secondary, while the sx dominant is 'intensity-traumatized', it wants to live with intensity and enjoy life to the fullest. Obviously, one goes totally opposite to the other, and in case of the sx/sp , the sx is dominant so the need to live intensely is greater than the need to keep itself alive and well. But both compete, in a totally agonizing manner, because it´s like one person who wants very much to walk but something deep inside says 'stand still'. So when the person does walk he/she feels like something is wrong, the sp instinct is saying 'hey, stand still, preserve yourself, take care, do not indulge'. It´s fucked up.
I actually think sx/sp internal conflict is only really an issue when sp is given more priority than it needs, like for the withdrawn enneatypes (though I'm only saying this from my understanding of the enneagram, not experience).
In other words, it's an internal conflict which has a basis in external issues (i.e. people tending to connect in groups). Volatile? Certainly. More conflicted than the other subtypes? Probably. But I think it's overplayed and misapplied.
I think the general assumption is that if you're not working with the group, there's really no reason the group should fend for you. Whether or not the society resists such behavior I think depends on the culture. Most places in the US, not so much, especially if it's something people can make a profit from.
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