Which hurts more, PoLR or suggestive?

[tcaudilllg]

In your opinion.

[DirectorAbbie]

PoLR, of course. Suggestive is just work.

[silverchris9]

Suggestive. I don't know what to do about Se as directed at me. I expect people to apply Se to me very gently (that is, volitional pressure only as necessary). If an SXE were bearing down on me as forcefully as possible (especially an SLE, because an SEE would be all clouded by emotion that I could make fun of), I feel like it would be much more painful, ultimately, than just Te making me focus on stuff that doesn't matter.

Of course, one of the most annoying things about your conflictor is the "leaking" of their demonstrative, which is your suggestive.

[Crispy]

Suggestive is the weakest function, but PoLR is the most painful.

Filatova:
III Third Channel: Here, there is a striving (often impossible to fulfill) to be in harmony with the world and yourself. A person reacts painfully to any kind of pressure applied through this channel. The psychological function residing in this channel becomes, as a result, vulnerable to outside intrusion. Because of this, the third channel is called - Channel of the Least Resistance, or Vulnerable Channel.

IV. Fourth Channel: This channel is usually called the Suggestible Channel. A Person is most susceptible to outside influence through this channel. The psychological function residing in this channel is the weakest of the four. A person is not at all confident in matters dealing with this function and obviously requires outside correction. However, on the conscious level, the person is nearly oblivious to information in this field and hardly perceives it at all.

[Suz]

Well, I think both cause annoyance in different ways:

Criticism of POLR is highly irritating to me.

If someone devalues my suggestive I think it's unpleasant, and if i had to be in a relationship with them I would think they're egotistical. I dont think criticism of it does anything bad--if anything, I feel like the person cares. It's more unpleasant if it's not addressed at all.

Along those lines:

Criticism of my HA or creative function is insulting, perhaps because those are key missions in my life. I think you had it right in your book actually tcaud, wasn't that something you mentioned? I think it rings very true for me.

[Suz]

Suggestive. I don't know what to do about Se as directed at me. I expect people to apply Se to me very gently (that is, volitional pressure only as necessary). If an SXE were bearing down on me as forcefully as possible (especially an SLE, because an SEE would be all clouded by emotion that I could make fun of), I feel like it would be much more painful, ultimately, than just Te making me focus on stuff that doesn't matter.

Of course, one of the most annoying things about your conflictor is the "leaking" of their demonstrative, which is your suggestive.

HA!! I knew it!! you're not IEI!

[Crispy]

HA!! I knew it!! you're not IEI!

me too

[silverchris9]

HA!! I knew it!! you're not IEI!

lol. Um, okay. Does that make me Se-polr? lol.

[Suz]

lol. Um, okay. Does that make me Se-polr? lol.

Yeah, actually it does.

[Crispy]

rofl

[DirectorAbbie]

Criticism of POLR is highly irritating to me.

Not to me. I'm just like, "Well, duh! I'm a white triangle polar. What did you expect?"

[silverchris9]

Yeah, actually it does.

Does this mean I get to start a type thread? 'Cause I'm always interested in people talking about me.

[Suz]

Not to me. I'm just like, "Well, duh! I'm a white triangle polar. What did you expect?"

LOL but that's just because you know socionics!!

oh wait i think the other major thing that happens with my POLR is i feel really self-conscious about it.

Maybe it depends on the IM involved.

[ashlesha]

i don't understand why the suggestive would be painful. meaning when you need to use it? i think i'm much more comfortable with my suggestive than with my polr.

oh wait i think the other major thing that happens with my POLR is i feel really self-conscious about it.

Maybe it depends on the IM involved.

awww, i get self-conscious about it, too, when someone makes it out to be something obvious that i should be able to access easily. it makes me feel like i'm hiding some embarrassing secret akin to not being able to tie my shoes or do multiplication or something.

[Brilliand]

Wrt the suggestive being painful: How about when it goes unfulfilled? I suppose really the pain of either one is only indirect: PoLR pain is self-consciousness at being incompetent at something that you believe yourself to be responsible for, whereas Suggestive pain is disappointment at not having it fulfilled when you rather thought that it would be.

[Suz]

Wrt the suggestive being painful: How about when it goes unfulfilled? I suppose really the pain of either one is only indirect: PoLR pain is self-consciousness at being incompetent at something that you believe yourself to be responsible for, whereas Suggestive pain is disappointment at not having it fulfilled when you rather thought that it would be.

yeah that's what i was saying!!!

[Suz]

i don't understand why the suggestive would be painful. meaning when you need to use it? i think i'm much more comfortable with my suggestive than with my polr.



awww, i get self-conscious about it, too, when someone makes it out to be something obvious that i should be able to access easily. it makes me feel like i'm hiding some embarrassing secret akin to not being able to tie my shoes or do multiplication or something.

for me, it's that my highly haphazard way of expressing thoughts that i think makes me seem like i'm dumb, so people repeat things to me slowly, and I'm like "I know, i wasn't talking about that!!" and then i feel irritated in part because I'm embarrassed and in part because they didn't appreciate the thought i was trying to express, but it's actually my fault for not being clearer and more systematic about it.

[Suz]

Does this mean I get to start a type thread? 'Cause I'm always interested in people talking about me.

I'm just saying silverchris... Obviously i dont know you as well as you know yourself, so you be the judge.

[ashlesha]

Wrt the suggestive being painful: How about when it goes unfulfilled? I suppose really the pain of either one is only indirect: PoLR pain is self-consciousness at being incompetent at something that you believe yourself to be responsible for, whereas Suggestive pain is disappointment at not having it fulfilled when you rather thought that it would be.

i think because i assume i'll get my suggestive from others the pain is more a frustration that i'm asking for it wrong or the other is "doing it wrong," more than an actual feeling of absence. but its been a long time since i haven't been in a close relationship with any Te-egos which is maybe why i have a hard time conceptualizing this.

for me, it's that my highly haphazard way of expressing thoughts that i think makes me seem like i'm dumb, so people repeat things to me slowly, and I'm like "I know, i wasn't talking about that!!" and then i feel irritated in part because I'm embarrassed and in part because they didn't appreciate the thought i was trying to express, but it's actually my fault for not being clearer and more systematic about it.

that happens to me from time to time. i just tell myself that i'm such a misunderstood genius. just kidding. sort of.

[717495]

Suggestive. I don't know what to do about Se as directed at me. I expect people to apply Se to me very gently (that is, volitional pressure only as necessary). If an SXE were bearing down on me as forcefully as possible (especially an SLE, because an SEE would be all clouded by emotion that I could make fun of), I feel like it would be much more painful, ultimately, than just Te making me focus on stuff that doesn't matter.

Of course, one of the most annoying things about your conflictor is the "leaking" of their demonstrative, which is your suggestive.

I guess I'm kind of repeating the basics, but I'll just give my impression which is probably what you're referring to. I don't see a lot of Se dominants as stereotypically that "forceful" as in the dominating and rigid kind of expectation, especially girls of course. I see the power and self-control, but usually not the attempt at force or directness in application. I mean I know some Si-creative caregivers who are definitely more forceful and appear to hold that fake Se-stereotype. But it's often that EJ energy of "getting it done no matter what." So you of course might just not be attracted to EJs and I'm sure you're already aware of that, and I'm not attracted either, force or not. Often it is just that EJ "plan and direct" mindset that is a turn off, and not saying all of them are exactly that either, but they all have a certain directness and nonchangeablity about them. So when the plan comes about it feels like you're being sucked into their trap, even when they just feel they're acting normal. Se dominants are usually cool/controlled in their immediate environment, along with being more free and indirect like there's always something new/undecided. Since Se is about having direct attention of what's there, just seeing and involving yourself as things are, with no extra thought, I definitely see willpower coming in to play. And although type doesn't necessarily always determine that someone is forceful and throws volitional power at people all the time, with Se-extroverts I can see what you're talking about. They can be authoritarian and have an uncalculated stubbornness (if thats the best way of putting it) or just an uncalculated power about them that can be overwhelming, but with Se its still controlled and indirect--sort of hard to explain. Its a very temporary stubborness, an impulse on a leash, not rigid. So Se's typical acting and adapting, holding the vision and power of the present, to me is different in that it's usually more open, nondirect, more able to acquiesce, and doesn't feel as awkward as an EJ might, trying to be the administrator and force frame their plans and expectations on me or the situation, and the good thing about it is that it is usually more rational and steady, with less room for making small mistakes, but might not fit with other agendas. I think IJs see that EJness in a different light than myself, as definitely a positive thing, as though it's in control and on route to vision, where as the Se dominance has rather the vision of immediate physical tactics Ni types need, instead of the firmer ideological vision (but they're two different types of control, so there needs to be further explanation as to why one is more attractive over the other to the various types.) The easiest explanation is the simple difference of rationality vs irrationality, I presume.

[Suz]

i think because i assume i'll get my suggestive from others the pain is more a frustration that i'm asking for it wrong or the other is "doing it wrong," more than an actual feeling of absence. but its been a long time since i haven't been in a close relationship with any Te-egos which is maybe why i have a hard time conceptualizing this.



that happens to me from time to time. i just tell myself that i'm such a misunderstood genius. just kidding. sort of.

Well actually, I do that too!! But if i'm in an unencouraging environment, i'll just start keeping my mouth shut more often than not. I have a much easier time with writing because i can organize things a bit better when the thoughts come out in spurts and fragments.