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Thread: Bluntness, Directness, Insensitivity

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    Default Bluntness, Directness, Insensitivity

    I just got my performance review recently:

    my positives: self-confident, excellent sales, operational, follow through
    negatives: can come off blunt, needs to work on building more rapport with subordinates, sense of humor not understood by all which can be offensive

    I imagine F's wouldn't have this problem?

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    lol personally I enjoy bluntness, directness and insensitivity. but that's just me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    lol personally I enjoy bluntness, directness and insensitivity. but that's just me.
    It's naturally how I get things done, but apparently it's a problem in the workplace

    Sensitive people ruin all the fun

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    Quote Originally Posted by gobearcats View Post
    Sensitive people ruin all the fun
    yup.
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    Well, generally it's a "problem" of every ExTx type.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Well, generally it's a "problem" of every ExTx type.
    That accords with my experience, but why is it an ExTx problem?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Golden View Post
    That accords with my experience, but why is it an ExTx problem?
    weak Fi, strong Te.

    Task focus, and lack of attention to personal sentiments and attitudes.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    weak Fi, strong Te.

    Task focus, and lack of attention to personal sentiments and attitudes.
    Thank you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    weak Fi, strong Te.

    Task focus, and lack of attention to personal sentiments and attitudes.
    sounds like my father.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    weak Fi, strong Te.

    Task focus, and lack of attention to personal sentiments and attitudes.
    Yeah, moreover extraversion tends to mean that we somehow try to mold the external world, as opposed to adapting ourselves. That's even more apparent in ESTx types, I think.
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    Quote Originally Posted by gobearcats View Post
    negatives: can come off blunt, needs to work on building more rapport with subordinates, sense of humor not understood by all which can be offensive
    What's wrong with being blunt?
    Respect your workmates, you don't have to marry them
    If they don't understand your humor, are u sure it is your fault?
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    Be blunt! Be blunt ! Be blunt!!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    What's wrong with being blunt?
    Respect your workmates, you don't have to marry them
    If they don't understand your humor, are u sure it is your fault?
    I suppose any performance review has to contain a negative element, lest letting it be known that the reviewed worker is not easily replaceable.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I suppose any performance review has to contain a negative element, lest letting it be known that the reviewed worker is not easily replaceable.
    who the fuck does performance reviews. if they try and pull that shit on you just walk out the door ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by gobearcats View Post
    I just got my performance review recently:

    my positives: self-confident, excellent sales, operational, follow through
    negatives: can come off blunt, needs to work on building more rapport with subordinates, sense of humor not understood by all which can be offensive

    I imagine F's wouldn't have this problem?
    just tell them to go fuck themselves. performance reviews are for sheep.

    how does it feel to be on your knees sucking cock for a living?

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    They're just being blunt. You'll get fired if you walk out unless you manage to strike as a whole.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jughead View Post
    They're just being blunt. You'll get fired if you walk out unless you manage to strike as a whole.
    work somewhere else then.

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    Become your own boss and become them, more likely than avoiding the same thing another place. The only thing wrong about "performance" reviews is they are hypocritical people who only want their agenda maximized and don't understand the concepts of workplace democracies as beneficial to the whole.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jughead View Post
    Become your own boss and become them, more likely than avoiding the same thing another place.
    when you talk, and have conversations, and keep up connections and shit you don't get surprised. you don't have to do performance reviews. you don't have to put people on edge. you don't have to waste peoples time with bullshit.

    when you value somenoe else you don't give them a "performanec review". the same way that you don't rape someone because they failed to get away.

    common deceny. you shall not be raped. you shall not have performance review.

    you shall not be disected and marginalised.

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    Well thats where you work, its unbalanced in many companies. They are mandatory reviews. Go to wal-mart and see what happens. particuarly if your a mexican or look as one. The integral type of America is LIE. Wal-mart is LIE. The system is biased towards accepting this more than any other. This type of "capitalism" is god (in america)

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    Quote Originally Posted by jughead View Post
    Well thats where you work, its unbalanced in many companies. They are mandatory reviews. Go to wal-mart and see what happens. particuarly if your a mexican or look as one. The integral type of America is LIE. Wal-mart is LIE. The system is biased towards accepting this more than any other. This type of "capitalism" is god (in america)
    you'd have to have pretty low self-esteem to even consider working at walmart.

    and i don't believe in god.

    everyone has their own frame of reality. and if you choose to live in anothers and be their bitch, then so be it. but don't do that "oh i must! i have no choice" kind of wank, grow some balls and realise life is about choices and decisions. and if you don't stand up for yourself you'll be raped in the ass.

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    Blah blah.
    Hire me for a great job then. troll

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    Quote Originally Posted by jughead View Post
    Blah blah.
    Hire me for a great job then. troll
    cos whining is going to get you a great job.

    first, stop complaining about things you can't change. there is no status quo. it's all in your head.

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    Bluntness and directness are based on confidence. Insensitivity might be somewhat related to T/F, but generally I think it is merely a perception of differing values (conventional sense).

    So no, not really type related IMO.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    who the fuck does performance reviews. if they try and pull that shit on you just walk out the door ...
    I don't know, they don't do them here unless you're "being watched" for a promotion & you work in an extremely big company. But I suppose they must be common in the US and UK.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I suppose any performance review has to contain a negative element, lest letting it be known that the reviewed worker is not easily replaceable.
    A difficult balance!

    And only when somebody receives a negative review (s)he can grow.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    Lol. Add in something about insubordination and it'd sound about like my last performance review. I have a difficult time hiding my level of (or lack of, rather) respect for certain people. :/
    I've been accused of insubordination. I sat by the door to my next class and read during lunch. The vice principal told me to go outside. I don't listen to people I don't respect, and I don't respect narrow-minded sports advocates.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    who the fuck does performance reviews. if they try and pull that shit on you just walk out the door ...
    Performance reviews can be helpful to individuals. With some jobs you ordinarily won't have any objective measure of what you are doing otherwise. Some people actually like to be good at what they do, and how do you improve if you don't have feedback?

    Quote Originally Posted by stanprollyright View Post
    Bluntness and directness are based on confidence. Insensitivity might be somewhat related to T/F, but generally I think it is merely a perception of differing values (conventional sense).

    So no, not really type related IMO.
    I totally disagree. You can be confident and still have tact. There are ways to get your message across effectively, and being blunt isn't always the best way. You have to consider how your message will be received, and even people who are blunt and direct themselves may not receive blunt and direct communication well depending on what you're talking about.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    being blunt isn't always the best way.
    It's the most efficient way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    It's the most efficient way.
    Assuming that the person you're talking to takes it as you give it.
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    I think Fe-egos have problems with direct and blunt communication because they tend to see interactions as having some hidden motive. They look beyond external interaction and see what is implied. I think this may also be why Te-valuers see Fe as superficial, because they take it at face value.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    I totally disagree. You can be confident and still have tact.
    But can you unconfident and still be blunt?

    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    There are ways to get your message across effectively, and being blunt isn't always the best way. You have to consider how your message will be received, and even people who are blunt and direct themselves may not receive blunt and direct communication well depending on what you're talking about.
    If the other person doesn't recieve it well, that's their problem. Openess and honesty are almost always better than trying to avoid the elephant in the room.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    I think Fe-egos have problems with direct and blunt communication because they tend to see interactions as having some hidden motive. They look beyond external interaction and see what is implied. I think this may also be why Te-valuers see Fe as superficial, because they take it at face value.
    I don't have a problem with direct and blunt communication.
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    Quote Originally Posted by stanprollyright View Post
    But can you unconfident and still be blunt?
    Yeah, usually they have more defensive and isolated personalities, but it's not impossible.

    If the other person doesn't recieve it well, that's their problem. Openess and honesty are almost always better than trying to avoid the elephant in the room.
    If you really want to be effective at communicating, you can't have that attitude. If you want to be stuck in your own bubble, then by all means go ahead.

    I agree with you as far as openness and honesty being best, but sometimes you have to accommodate people that don't see it the same way or are just a bit more sensitive.

    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I don't have a problem with direct and blunt communication.
    In my experience with IEIs, I've had to watch the way I say things and they tend to take what I say personally when I don't mean it that way at all. The couple that I'm pretty close to both think I'm an ass, and I don't really know exactly why. Maybe there's a difference between directness that comes from Te and directness that comes from Se.

    Edit: or maybe intentional controlled directness (Te-base) versus unintentional uncontrolled (Te-demo)?
    Last edited by Azeroffs; 10-04-2010 at 09:52 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    Performance reviews can be helpful to individuals. With some jobs you ordinarily won't have any objective measure of what you are doing otherwise. Some people actually like to be good at what they do, and how do you improve if you don't have feedback?
    Well, a performance review isn't objective. That's its biggest problem, I believe.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Well, a performance review isn't objective. That's its biggest problem, I believe.
    You're right it's not objective in the 'real' or universal sense, but it's an objective measure in that it's something outside yourself.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    I think Fe-egos have problems with direct and blunt communication because they tend to see interactions as having some hidden motive. They look beyond external interaction and see what is implied. I think this may also be why Te-valuers see Fe as superficial, because they take it at face value.
    Pretty much, though I find that this rings even more true for Fi PoLRs, but that can be a bias on my part. I've just noticed that they've tended to react as if something malicious is said to them when they're spoken to in a dry, direct manner; one recently said I was "snapping" at them when I asked a question. I'm guessing they perceive it as hostility if there's no emotional levity used when speaking to them
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    On the second thought, it depends on the type of the individual who is evaluating you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    I think Fe-egos have problems with direct and blunt communication because they tend to see interactions as having some hidden motive. They look beyond external interaction and see what is implied. I think this may also be why Te-valuers see Fe as superficial, because they take it at face value.
    No. Fe-egos are focused on a different form of external content than Te-egos. It is still very much external interaction. These are not necessarily implied or hidden motives. They are not necessarily looking for any motive at all. Fi, and occasionally Ti, is more about motive, as it is a logic of relations and static judgments. Fe is focused on the external manifestation of ethics and emotions.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    In my experience with IEIs, I've had to watch the way I say things and they tend to take what I say personally when I don't mean it that way at all. The couple that I'm pretty close to both think I'm an ass, and I don't really know exactly why. Maybe there's a difference between directness that comes from Te and directness that comes from Se.

    Edit: or maybe intentional controlled directness (Te-base) versus unintentional uncontrolled (Te-demo)?
    I would only say that in my experience with LIEs--this from an IEI here--it was not the bluntness itself that bothered me (directness is okay with me; sometimes I even prefer it over circumlocution). No, it was something about the combination of the particular message and the blunt delivery. I mean, LIEs are going to pick up on my specific weaknesses with great precision, and to bluntly comment on those very things ... argh. It has just felt very personal and attacking sometimes. I know that isn't the intention.

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