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Thread: Intertype Relations in Parent - Child Relationships

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    Default Intertype Relations in Parent - Child Relationships

    I have been wondering if certain types have a psycological predisposition toward their parental figures. I do not necessarily mean to draw out the oedipus and electra complex but I've been wondering do certain types bond closer and further toward their maternal and paternal figures.

    Carl Jung had said in an interview later in life to have feared his mother as a child. I believe his type is INTJ.

    Perhaps related, perhaps not, he mentions in his psychological types that the introverted thinking type is mistrustful of women.

    Personally, I am close with my father to such an extent that we are as friends. However, though I am close with my mother, I have mommy issues and needless to say I have women trouble. The erotic styles could be relevant: my father is caring and my mother is victim.

    In recent years I better aquinted myself with my aunt who is caring. Sounds bizarre but I felt like she was the mother I never had, i.e. protective, caring, kind, nurturing, sympathetic, encouraging. My mother is mean but provides financial support. In the same manner I'm beginning to question her history of ethical behaviour.

    An INFJ friend of mine is incredibly close with his mother, she is caring and he is infantile. His father does not live with them as such he has constrained relations toward his male counterparts. He seems more at ease around women.

    I'm not sure if there is a pattern but I'm curious as to figure out if certain types have a predisposition or presentiment toward their parental figures. Does it depend upon the erotic attitudes (not well thought out name in this context!) or does it depend upon the psychological type or another reason?

    if you have healthy and dare I say normal relationship with your parents that can be as relevant as unhealthy and abnormal. what is your type and there type?

    caution: not smart to post family secrets or anything illegal or otherwise - I'm not a psychologist. simply what is the state of your relationship with your parents?

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    I respect my SLI mom, but not my IEE dad. I an LSE.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I respect my SLI mom, but not my IEE dad. I an LSE.
    this may be of interest in terms of bonding: do you bond better with women than men? with men better than women? are you good with both? are you bad with both?

    as for my INFJ friend, having grew up without a father figure in his life, he attributes much of his social ineptitude to that. To some extent he remains childishly searching for a father figure, even sometimes acting like a child around me as if I were to be his father. However, much of this is revealed during stressful situations. When everything is fine that is his doing but when things turn ugly it is due to his father. His inability to cope with high stress triggers a regressive state of mind.

    Interestingly enough, they say people who turn to "GOD" could be searching for a father figure in their lives but my INFJ friend does not turn to "GOD".

    As for myself, I have always been keen on the prehistoric belief of a goddess - a romantic notion - in pursuit of my own psychological fulfillment. A matriachal women, a dominate female.

    In the same manner I've been criticized many times over by women for not acting man enough but I've been well received very graciously by women who have a strong maternal instinct. Maternal instinct here means protection but not necessarily masculine. So I guess that's why playboy bunnies and petite women have never been all that attractive to me.

    I suppose it is a question of time to figure out how family and socionics can shape the upbringing of an individual as its a compex topic.

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    six turnin', four burnin' stevENTj's Avatar
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    My wife, an ESI, definitely has a predisposition towards bonding with family and parental figures. The whole family and structure thing. That's reinforced by her Asian upbringing though. East Asian cultures seem to be much more family centric than Western cultures where families are generally not as tightly knit, especially in the U.S.

    Since my wife's family (both of her parents) has caused her nothing but trouble, it's been an enormous strain to get that disconnected. Not sure if it had more to do with her type or her upbringing. Probably a little bit of both.
    Te-INTp/ILI, my wife: Fi-ISFj/ESI, with laser beam death rays for ESTp/SLEs, lol
    16 years of bliss in an Activity relationship

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chip View Post
    this may be of interest in terms of bonding: do you bond better with women than men? with men better than women? are you good with both? are you bad with both?
    It depends on the person's age. I can bond better with older women than with older men, though I'm friendly with both. I've never cared for middle-aged people nor teenagers.
    When it comes to kids, I give girls attention and I give boys challenges. I'm more likely to pick up a girl; I feel awkward touching guys.
    As far as peers are concerned, I'm friendly to girls and they're friendly to me. I've never been able to bond with one. The closest I've come to bonding with a girl was my EII pen pal. Male peers are generally one extreme or the other, though I have a male EII-Ne friend who is like a female friend to me. Most guys I ignore or label as needing a good whack. A few I am able to bond with.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I respect my SLI mom, but not my IEE dad. I an LSE.

    hmmmm. i respect my LSE mom but not as much my EII dad.

    overall i think these questions are best answered by looking at the specific types, relations, specific parental behaviors, and genders of those involved. your answers are going to be different based on all four variables. i do not think these things are predisposed. they may be predestined, but not predisposed.

    ILE

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    My parents are ESE and LxE. I don't have that close of a relationship with either. Then again, much of my childhood sucked. My friends became my family. I'm probably Fi ego.
    Johari/Nohari

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    My is mom is most likely an EII. We have a close relationship- sometimes too close for comfort as she can be rather overprotective. I'm a grown adult who's long moved out and on my own and she still insists I call her several times a week and gets mad when I don't.

    I'm less sure about my father's type but I'm leaning towards LSI at this moment. I still haven't completely ruled out SLI. I love my father too but I've never been able to establish the closeness with him that I did with my mother. I'd like to have a closer relationship with him but don't see that happening. At least I don't have to worry about him ending up like my mom.
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



  9. #9
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    SEI here.

    Parents are ESI and SLE. Grandma is LSE.

    Very distant, very poor relationship with Dad. Perpetually critical of me in the extreme, and I grew up terrified of him (and his EIE wife). Now no longer maintain any form of contact with him, and don't intend to reach out to try again. The fact that things are this poor is not due to Socionics or anything, but some minor incidents.

    Initially similarly, poor, distant, fearful relationship with Mum, having to live with her and deal with her temper, which was truly ferocious at the time. Would alternate feeling close and feeling terrified or hurt when I got yelled at for nothing. Relationship steadily degraded as I grew up to the point where I hated her. Ironic because she was trying to be a good mum by this point, but screwed up in some fairly major mays and seriously betrayed me.

    Now that we no longer live together, she's emotionally and materially supportive and a very cool mum to have. I'm just never ever going to try living with or near her ever again if I can help it.

    Unsupportive relationship with mum's mum. Zero ability to deal with Fe or any of my problems. Still fun company, even in older old age. The least scary person in my family and the only one I shared anything in common with. Was the only safe thing growing up, and even then she could sometimes be unpredictable and get very angry with me.

    So yeah, my relationship with my family sucks. Growing up sucked, and I'm a neurotic enough mess from it to have just dismantled my relationship with the most important person in my life. Socionics has nothing to do with it.

    Assuming healthy relationships with my parents I think I would've been much closer to Dad, since we share a lot more in common. Even Mum saw it.

    Quote Originally Posted by warrior-librarian View Post
    My is mom is most likely an EII. We have a close relationship- sometimes too close for comfort as she can be rather overprotective. I'm a grown adult who's long moved out and on my own and she still insists I call her several times a week and gets mad when I don't.
    See, my mum just makes creepy slips like revealing that she's been looking through chat logs to see when we last talked

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