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Thread: Please VI a NON-jackass

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    Default Please VI a NON-jackass

    Friend of a friend--she's IEI and they've been friends for years. He's thoughtful, "well-liked by all," had a rep as a heartbreaker in college b/c he's charming but kept himself unattainable. He's just someone whom I really enjoy being around and who doesn't remind me of anyone I've been close to, so I'm curious what his type might be. Also because he's an enigma that several people in our social circle have tried to figure out, with limited success.

    (photos removed--thanks for your help!)
    Last edited by golden; 09-28-2010 at 02:06 AM.

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    Edward Norton's type
    Especially last pic
    I don't know what type that is though
    ILI (FINAL ANSWER)

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    ESTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crispy View Post
    Edward Norton's type
    Especially last pic
    I don't know what type that is though
    lol

    Socionics.com has Norton listed as ISTp. Whether this man is more I or E is not easy to pinpoint. He's very contained, but he seems slightly more E. He's an achiever and a go-getter, but in a quiet way.

    Sometimes when I see someone as slim as he is, I think toward introversion. But he has a health problem that has led to him being more thin than when he was younger and more athletic. Still, hard to say, E vs. I. Slightly more E, I guess.
    Last edited by golden; 09-26-2010 at 06:11 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    ESTp
    Damn it all to fucking hell. I think this guy is the cat's meow, and there is a spark between us, but we don't live in the same city.

    Will someone please come in here and tell me he's not my dual? Grrrr.
    Last edited by golden; 09-26-2010 at 06:09 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldilocks View Post
    Yes he definitely looks like the same type as Edward Norton.
    Here is a thread about him:
    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ed-norton.html
    Thanks, Goldilocks. Read through that thread and noticed a big fat fail in terms of consensus on Norton's type. But it's an interesting thread nonetheless. Watching those clips of Norton, I don't know if I think these two are the same type.

    I also noticed that a couple of people tried to type Norton IEI. My very first thought about the guy pictured was that he could be an IEI, because he knows a lot of us and likes us, and has harmonious IEI friendships that have stood the test of time. But after I considered it a little further, it seemed clear that he could not possibly be IEI. How could that be when a roomful of IEIs sit around and wonder what in the world makes this guy we're so fond of tick? lol. We know how WE tick. So whatever his type, it has to be one that fits with IEIs somehow or other.

    I also noticed that in the Norton thread some people went for ENTp, and I'm going to say no on that one here.

    Regarding this fella: think Big Man on Campus, world traveler, never married for no obvious reason, indirect career path, lots of contradictions (warm/aloof, uber-educated/doesn't present himself as an intellectual, charming/contained, commanding presence/very friendly and supportive, conservative-looking/tolerant of [even prefers] artsy types).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldilocks View Post
    Goldenwings this guy looks so like my very first boyfriend from years and years ago...He was so very romantic . I will search for a photo of him to compare but think that my chances of finding one may be low.
    Cool!

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    ILE
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Parkster View Post
    ILE
    My own first boyfriend was for sure an ILE, and I can see the surface resemblance.

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    Just for grins, I'll show you a photo of a woman he carried the torch for, for a long time:

    (photo removed)

    One other gossipy tidbit: One woman in our circle who types as INTj tried to "land" him for quite a while, and it went around and around in circles, with him showing some interest here and there but then repeatedly brushing her off. He tends to do that anyway, but it was an especially bad case, lol.
    Last edited by golden; 09-28-2010 at 02:07 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldilocks View Post
    Yes I have wondered also if my first boyfriend was the same type as myself or not. We were only kids really, 14 and 17. Sometimes I wished that I could glimpse into his mind and through his eyes to see if he did indeed view things the same as me or differently.

    My friend also never married. Recently I found out that he had passed away and his mother and sister sent me a link to a song that was played at his funeral that he had desired for me to hear...made me cry. He also, like the guy you are trying to type, was a man of charm, supportive, very friendly etc.

    Unfortunately I haven't been able to find a photo on the web of him.
    Aw, Goldilocks! Wow. That's a really sad story.

    How sweet that he wanted you to hear that song, and that his mom and sister thought to pass it along to you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    ESTp
    oh puhhleez. this is one of the few times SLI could actually be an option.Si-ESE is very likely,too (unnatainable,"well-liked by all heartbreaker rings a bell and he reminds me of my ESE brother).
    Last edited by kalinoche; 09-26-2010 at 02:37 PM.
    unholy water sanguine addiction

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    Gulenko!

    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenwings View Post
    lol

    Socionics.com has Norton listed as ISTp. Whether this man is more I or E is not easy to pinpoint. He's very contained, but he seems slightly more E. He's an achiever and a go-getter, but in a quiet way.

    Sometimes when I see someone as slim as he is, I think toward introversion. But he has a health problem that has led to him being more thin than when he was younger and more athletic. Still, hard to say, E vs. I. Slightly more E, I guess.
    E/I does not differentiate between quiet go getter and loud one...Chris Reeve, who I type as an active yet out of the limelight goal getter is SLE and he was never "loud"...I also don't find consistency between being "loud" and being Se ego, that was a wrong assumption or pattern established in the past that's become another terrible thing people have attached to Se ego blocks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenwings View Post
    Just for grins, I'll show you a photo of a woman he carried the torch for, for a long time:

    What was she like? I like her style.
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    She seems to be either ESE or SEE, most likely ESE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    E/I does not differentiate between quiet go getter and loud one...Chris Reeve, who I type as an active yet out of the limelight goal getter is SLE and he was never "loud"...I also don't find consistency between being "loud" and being Se ego, that was a wrong assumption or pattern established in the past that's become another terrible thing people have attached to Se ego blocks.
    Yes, I agree. I was saying that even though he's quiet, he's a go-getter, very active in several areas of life, meaning that for this and other reasons, he seems more E to me.
    Last edited by golden; 09-26-2010 at 06:16 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
    What was she like? I like her style.
    Me too--she seems really cool. She's a self-described free spirit and sort of bohemian. Apparently she was a bit of a misfit and a dreamer when they were growing up and just did her own thing. She was a dancer (no, not THAT kind of dancer). Today she does other things professionally, one related to arts, the other legal-ish.

    And also afaik, this relationship was somewhat along the lines of "the one that got away."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
    Gulenko!

    lol--yeah, I see it.

    Is Gulenko s'posed to be INTJ? I'm not sure that this guy is very .

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    Also, consider that the picture of Gulenko (if he is INTj) is taken very closely. I don't type by one picture alone because from close proximity, the person may look like a normal weight and I may type them an S but from a distance they may look like a total N type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    Also, consider that the picture of Gulenko (if he is INTj) is taken very closely. I don't type by one picture alone because from close proximity, the person may look like a normal weight and I may type them an S but from a distance they may look like a total N type.
    Yeah, I looked at some other pix of Gulenko and didn't see the resemblance in those.

    What do you mean by weight? How does that factor into your typing?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenwings View Post
    Yeah, I looked at some other pix of Gulenko and didn't see the resemblance in those.

    What do you mean by weight? How does that factor into your typing?
    Most N type are on the smaller frame side. Skinny, like you and I and most of my N friends.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    Most N type are on the smaller frame side. Skinny, like you and I and most of my N friends.
    SF's are the fat ones, right?

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    SF's are the fat ones, right?
    No, SF's have bigger bodies, whether that's a result of bigger bones or better muscle development makes them bigger then N type. There are skinny S type models and skinny N type models too, the difference is that N types don't have to struggle with their weight, because they can't put it on like S types can if they tried to gain weight.

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    that woman looks alpha SF to me. hmm. the guy... Goldenwings I thought you're really happy with your current boyfriend?

    this guy looks great though. Really. gosh, yeah. I could see SLE or ILE.

    imho, ESEs are not heartbreakers nor are they unattainable. But that could be just the ones I know.

    and I agree that SLEs can be quiet.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    that woman looks alpha SF to me. hmm. the guy... Goldenwings I thought you're really happy with your current boyfriend?

    this guy looks great though. Really. gosh, yeah. I could see SLE or ILE.

    imho, ESEs are not heartbreakers nor are they unattainable. But that could be just the ones I know.

    and I agree that SLEs can be quiet.
    fwiw i think that girl looks kind of hot.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    SF's are the fat ones, right?
    lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
    fwiw i think that girl looks kind of hot.
    She's very attractive! And from all I've gathered, has an awesome attitude and personality. She reminds me a friend of mine, also a dancer. The kind of woman I'd want if I were a guy or ... whatever, lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    that woman looks alpha SF to me. hmm. the guy... Goldenwings I thought you're really happy with your current boyfriend?

    this guy looks great though. Really. gosh, yeah. I could see SLE or ILE.

    imho, ESEs are not heartbreakers nor are they unattainable. But that could be just the ones I know.

    and I agree that SLEs can be quiet.
    Well, my current bf is great. He lives abroad now, and I'm going to spend two months with him starting the end of October. It's a very complicated relationship on a practical level. If we want to stay together permanently, the stakes will be extremely high. I'm worried about all that pressure, and I'm wary of committing to anyone, anywhere after a crappy 10-year marriage. So let's just say I'm not considering things open-and-shut.

    But OTOH, I don't want to be so wary that I mess up a good relationship. I'm just playing it by ear at this point.

    And as for the guy in the photos here, he is for sure a really exceptional person, and I consider him out of my league. I doubt he'd ever be truly interested in me, although we have flirted ... or something. Whatever that was. He's a friend, via a friend, and it's probably better to just leave it at that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenwings View Post
    Well, my current bf is great. He lives abroad now, and I'm going to spend two months with him starting the end of October. It's a very complicated relationship on a practical level. If we want to stay together permanently, the stakes will be extremely high. I'm worried about all that pressure, and I'm wary of committing to anyone, anywhere after a crappy 10-year marriage. So let's just say I'm not considering things open-and-shut.

    But OTOH, I don't want to be so wary that I mess up a good relationship. I'm just playing it by ear at this point.
    that makes a hella sense.
    And as for the guy in the photos here, he is for sure a really exceptional person, and I consider him out of my league. I doubt he'd ever be truly interested in me, although we have flirted ... or something. Whatever that was. He's a friend, via a friend, and it's probably better to just leave it at that.
    well, you just. never. know.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    well, you just. never. know.
    The number of women who have tried to make something happen with this man is pretty huge at this point, lol. I'm a combination of too stubborn and too self-conscious to add myself to that crazy queue.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenwings View Post
    The number of women who have tried to make something happen with this man is pretty huge at this point, lol. I'm a combination of too stubborn and too self-conscious to add myself to that crazy queue.
    I'm not telling you to "try to make something happen" with him (that usually doesn't work anyway). I'm just saying... he may, in the end, try to make something happen with you. Just be yourself and then whatever.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I'm not telling you to "try to make something happen" with him (that usually doesn't work anyway). I'm just saying... he may, in the end, try to make something happen with you. Just be yourself and then whatever.
    Yeah, I'm not the "make something happen type." So no worries there. I know enough about this guy to be aware that he has a history of women chasing him, and I don't think he likes that, actually.

    Regarding his type--could the ILE versus SLE question have something to do with ?

    I don't have so much Socionics experience, but I would say that my ILE first boyfriend--someone I knew all too well for five or six years ... he was always brewing up some wacky idea. To this day he does about 20 strange projects at once, lol, and is always thinking of more. Does that qualify as ? To realize and finish those projects, if any, he has to enlist other people who have some stick-to-it-ness.

    I don't know this guy as well. I think is an issue for him in one way or another--it plays a theme in his life, for sure. But I can't say what it is, only that it's an issue. I think I would need to know more about and more about him. He does not give up his secrets easily!

    Pic man has one or two central projects and concerns that he's been pursuing for years and years, plugging away at those same things and strategizing and trying things daily and doggedly to turn them into something successful. Don't know what that means, type-wise.

    He broke up with his last regular gf on the basis that she was never there for him and he couldn't count on her. What does that mean? We (social circle) were surprised that he said this, because he comes across as extremely independent.

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    EP for the guy?

    my first impression was Si-base.

    SLI > SEI

    I got ESE or maybe SEE for the girl
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenwings View Post
    Yeah, I'm not the "make something happen type." So no worries there. I know enough about this guy to be aware that he has a history of women chasing him, and I don't think he likes that, actually.
    I don't think a lot of men do. But I could be wrong.
    Regarding his type--could the ILE versus SLE question have something to do with ?

    I don't have so much Socionics experience, but I would say that my ILE first boyfriend--someone I knew all too well for five or six years ... he was always brewing up some wacky idea. To this day he does about 20 strange projects at once, lol, and is always thinking of more. Does that qualify as ? To realize and finish those projects, if any, he has to enlist other people who have some stick-to-it-ness.
    yeah absolutely the wacky ideas could be Ne.
    I don't know this guy as well. I think is an issue for him in one way or another--it plays a theme in his life, for sure. But I can't say what it is, only that it's an issue. I think I would need to know more about and more about him. He does not give up his secrets easily!

    Pic man has one or two central projects and concerns that he's been pursuing for years and years, plugging away at those same things and strategizing and trying things daily and doggedly to turn them into something successful. Don't know what that means, type-wise.

    He broke up with his last regular gf on the basis that she was never there for him and he couldn't count on her. What does that mean? We (social circle) were surprised that he said this, because he comes across as extremely independent.
    very interesting. Probably what he meant was that she wasn't there for him in the way he wanted/needed her to be. Regardless of his level of independence, he needs something from his significant-other relationship that he wasn't getting from her.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    EP for the guy?

    my first impression was Si-base.

    SLI > SEI

    I got ESE or maybe SEE for the girl
    Dunno. I'm not sure I see him having and in the ego block? The very first impression I got of him could have been congruent with (based on my limited understanding, 'kay?). But on subsequent occasions, I was really surprised to discover how confrontational he could be. For such a nice guy, he sure seems to enjoy conflict. Oh, and outright telling me and other people what to do! lol. Aggressive, and provoking discomfort in others, even. First he'll charm you, then he'll cut your head off, and afterward he'll charm you again so you don't mind that your head is down there on the floor. But it ain't comfortable. And he does all of that in an odd way--he's not exactly mean about any of it, but somehow it's very edgy at the same time.

    One afternoon I went out for coffee with him and my best friend (the IEI), and the dynamic between me and him was so weird that when we left she said, "What the fuck was that?" Very tense, extremely provoking behavior on his part. We were outside alone at one point and he was very confrontational about something I was doing, which was technically none of his business, and he barely knew me at that point! I was on the verge of telling him that if he didn't like what I was doing, then I'd like to see him just try to make me stop, and thankfully, our mutual friend came outside at that point, lol.

    But since then he's been pretty okay with me.
    Last edited by golden; 09-26-2010 at 10:35 PM.

  37. #37
    2 EVIL I golden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    very interesting. Probably what he meant was that she wasn't there for him in the way he wanted/needed her to be. Regardless of his level of independence, he needs something from his significant-other relationship that he wasn't getting from her.
    Yeah, good point, redbaron. I guess this is what failed relations boil down to?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenwings View Post
    Dunno. I'm not sure I see him having and in the ego block? The very first impression I got of him could have been congruent with (based on my limited understanding, 'kay?). But on subsequent occasions, I was really surprised to discover how confrontational he could be. For such a nice guy, he sure seems to enjoy conflict. Oh, and outright telling me and other people what to do! lol. Aggressive, and provoking discomfort in others, even. First he'll charm you, then he'll cut your head off, and afterward he'll charm you again so you don't mind that your head is down there on the floor. But it ain't comfortable. And he does all of that in an odd way--he's not exactly mean about any of it, but somehow it's very edgy at the same time.

    One afternoon I went out for coffee with him and my best friend (the IEI), and the dynamic between me and him was so weird that when we left she said, "What the fuck was that?" Very tense, extremely provoking behavior on his part. We were outside alone at one point and he was very confrontational about something I was doing, which was technically none of his business, and he barely knew me at that point! I was on the verge of telling him that if he didn't like what I was doing, then I'd like to see him just try to make me stop, and thankfully, our mutual friend came outside at that point, lol.

    But since then he's been pretty okay with me.
    I don't think SLIs are necessarily conflict avoidant. One I know has a history of telling off people.
    It was just an impression though, you know him more than I do.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    I don't think SLIs are necessarily conflict avoidant. One I know has a history of telling off people.
    It was just an impression though, you know him more than I do.
    I don't know either, lol. If I run through a bunch of questions or comments about the functions, it's because I'm using a thread like this as an opportunity to understand Socionics better. If I just read a description of SLI it seems like it could fit him okay, but if I break it down by functions it looks less possible. But not impossible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenwings View Post
    I don't know either, lol. If I run through a bunch of questions or comments about the functions, it's because I'm using a thread like this as an opportunity to understand Socionics better. If I just read a description of SLI it seems like it could fit him okay, but if I break it down by functions it looks less possible. But not impossible.
    Well, I don't consider myself a VI expert, but the reason why I thought he seems Si-base is first off because he seems natural and 'all there' which I associate with sensing. Second, he seems comfortable, mellow, and disengaged, pointing more toward Si and away from Se. By disengaged, I mean he looks like he's satisfied where he is, and not like he's going to jump out at you or like he holds his surroundings confidently in his grasp kind of vibe which is what I associate with Se. He just has this contented vibe. He seems real, down-to-earth, nice, and 'soft.' All things which I generally associate with Si.

    But, as I said, I'm no VI expert, nor would I put a lot of weight into it if I were.


    edit: actually, looking back, I wouldn't be surprised at Se-creative either.
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