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Thread: Are EIIs afraid of boredom too?

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    Default Are EIIs afraid of boredom too?

    i know we IEEs have a perpetual fear of boredom. Do EIIs worry about this too?
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    1. Boredom is predictable
    2. Predictability is safe
    3. Safety is good
    ____________________
    4. Therefore, boredom is good

    From my limited experience with EII's, I don't think they're necessarily afraid of boredom. Obviously, they'd rather have fun, but I think a sense of duty and the urge to do things right and proper prevent them from being all-out hedonists. However, when they want to entertain themselves, their Ne probably makes them more "open to experience" (as the Big 5/Global 5/SLOAN/OCEAN calls it) and more willing to try something new and different (this may depend on the subtype).

    By the way, I love your avatar.
    Last edited by Calvinist777; 09-11-2010 at 10:46 PM.
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    oh oops i meant to put this in the delta forum! though everyone is welcome to contribute of course.
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    Not at all. If I have nothing to do, what a gift. I need a lot of downtime to feel normal.
    Last edited by April; 09-11-2010 at 11:39 PM. Reason: Additional information

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calvinist777 View Post
    1. Boredom is predictable
    2. Predictability is safe
    3. Safety is good
    spoken like a true six!!

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    Oh, good. My duals don't expect anything from me.

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    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Imo, us INxjs are good at finding sources of excitement in things that others consider boring.

    Example: I tend to find bad movies more interesting than "good" ones, because they give me something to reflect on. Learning why something doesn't work is great mental training.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calvinist777 View Post
    1. Boredom is predictable
    2. Predictability is safe
    3. Safety is good
    ____________________
    4. Therefore, boredom is good
    But then what becomes your incentive to do anything in the world? If you give into boredom for the sole reason that it's predictable and safe then how do you find it in yourself to break that cycle?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    But then what becomes your incentive to do anything in the world? If you give into boredom for the sole reason that it's predictable and safe then how do you find it in yourself to break that cycle?
    It was kind of a joke (albeit an unfunny one). Nobody likes to be bored, although I'd certainly take that over chaos or uncertainty. I've taken a couple of risks back in the day, like being in Thespians in high school and performing in five plays (I was voted Most Shy in my senior class). I just like to take it easy and avoid stressful situations, and the best way to do that is be lazy.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calvinist777 View Post
    1. Boredom is predictable
    2. Predictability is safe
    3. Safety is good
    ____________________
    4. Therefore, boredom is good

    From my limited experience with EII's, I don't think they're necessarily afraid of boredom. Obviously, they'd rather have fun, but I think a sense of duty and the urge to do things right and proper prevent them from being all-out hedonists. However, when they want to entertain themselves, their Ne probably makes them more "open to experience" (as the Big 5/Global 5/SLOAN/OCEAN calls it) and more willing to try something new and different (this may depend on the subtype).
    Quote Originally Posted by April
    Not at all. If I have nothing to do, what a gift. I need a lot of downtime to feel normal.
    Strongly agreed with the both of you. I love relaxing. It's great whenever I have nothing to live up to, nothing to fret about. It provides a sense of security and stability. Certain kinds of fun are often... fun, but I always need my down-time of tedium or having nothing to do to recharge.

    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie
    Oh, good. My duals don't expect anything from me.
    Indeed we don't. We prefer stability and consistency over wild bouts of "fun"/"excitement" any day, unless you meet the odd and rare endangered species known only as the EII E7. We especially tend to hate things that make us feel like we're going to get killed, and thus tend to think people who enjoy free-falls at amusement parks either have latent suicidal tendencies or are irreversibly insane.

    Now, we do expect behavior that conforms with our standards of right and wrong, but you're nice enough to not have to worry about that. I can't imagine you doing anything wrong by any EII's standards.
    Last edited by Kyon; 09-12-2010 at 02:41 AM.

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    I dunno, but I think it comes down to is what we mean by 'boredom.' I don't think anybody genuinely enjoys being bored. It's just that some people enjoy doing things that considered boring by others. I've been called a very boring person because I like to just sit around my house/dorm room and watch movies or get on the Internet. Is this boring? Depends on who you ask. Do EII's fear boredom? Maybe not the way an IEE does.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calvinist777 View Post
    It was kind of a joke (albeit an unfunny one). Nobody likes to be bored, although I'd certainly take that over chaos or uncertainty. I've taken a couple of risks back in the day, like being in Thespians in high school and performing in five plays (I was voted Most Shy in my senior class). I just like to take it easy and avoid stressful situations, and the best way to do that is be lazy.
    I agree with this sentiment, but a lot of it depends on how much self-confidence you have. If you think you're strong enough to come through the periods of uncertainty then you're bound to not think much of those risks. I have nothing against being lazy (I do it all the time), but balance is always important.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    i know we IEEs have a perpetual fear of boredom. Do EIIs worry about this too?
    It depends on what you mean by 'boredom'.

    If you mean in terms of experiences, as in, in a state of doing some action, then no.

    If you mean in terms of mental experiences, like, thinking about something, reading about something new, then yes.

    I worry about my mind becoming dull, but not overly concerned about missing an experience of an event that requires an active personal engagement. Although, I have nothing against the latter (since it sometimes fuels the former).
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Greeter View Post
    It depends on what you mean by 'boredom'.

    If you mean in terms of experiences, as in, in a state of doing some action, then no.

    If you mean in terms of mental experiences, like, thinking about something, reading about something new, then yes.

    I worry about my mind becoming dull, but not overly concerned about missing an experience of an event that requires an active personal engagement. Although, I have nothing against the latter (since it sometimes fuels the former).
    Yeah i guess i meant mental experiences. Like being stuck in a mundane job.

    The thing with me is, i also need down time to relax and recharge, but when i have it, i start worrying that i might get bored so i look for a new project to work on. And then when i'm crazy busy working on like 3-4 projects at a time, i'm like praying for them to be over soon so i can finally get some rest, and the cycle starts again.
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    Pretty much agree with the replies from the Ij's. I've noticed that this is one of the more common differences between opposite Ij's an Ep's; Ep's need more novelty and spontaneity, Ij's need more consistency and security.
    It's not that Ij's don't get bored, rather the source of boredom and antidote for it is probably bewildering to Ep's, to an extent.

    For the most part, I have no problem keeping myself entertained and busy in some way, and like April mentioned, downtime is needed to recharge. The time I have to myself, to do something as simple as quietly be online or read a book, is fulfilling to me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by labcoat View Post
    Imo, us INxjs are good at finding sources of excitement in things that others consider boring.

    Example: I tend to find bad movies more interesting than "good" ones, because they give me something to reflect on. Learning why something doesn't work is great mental training.
    ^ Same for me. I don't agree with the other people's posts on this topic. I don't get bored.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Yeah i guess i meant mental experiences. Like being stuck in a mundane job.

    The thing with me is, i also need down time to relax and recharge, but when i have it, i start worrying that i might get bored so i look for a new project to work on. And then when i'm crazy busy working on like 3-4 projects at a time, i'm like praying for them to be over soon so i can finally get some rest, and the cycle starts again.

    Yeah you guys are kind of weird that way I'm finding. It's definitely not rational. I'm not sure how much regulation yous need or want, either.

    I might be learning though.

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    I don't believe in boredom. I think people should STFU and do something with the TVs, computers, internet, songs, games, books, stores, theaters, etc that they're piled neck-high in. If someone's bored and they don't live an empty box then it's their own damn fault if they are bored.

    [/rant]

    *huff* *huff*

    Anyway, I always stuff myself with things to do. If I do get bored, I go and do something else.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calvinist777 View Post
    1. Boredom is predictable
    2. Predictability is safe
    3. Safety is good
    ____________________
    4. Therefore, boredom is good
    Heh, simplistic but somewhat accurate for me, at least from a certain perspective.

    Quote Originally Posted by Calvinist777 View Post
    From my limited experience with EII's, I don't think they're necessarily afraid of boredom. Obviously, they'd rather have fun, but I think a sense of duty and the urge to do things right and proper prevent them from being all-out hedonists. However, when they want to entertain themselves, their Ne probably makes them more "open to experience" (as the Big 5/Global 5/SLOAN/OCEAN calls it) and more willing to try something new and different (this may depend on the subtype).
    That depends on your definition of "fun". Some people's fun is my torture.


    Quote Originally Posted by April View Post
    Not at all. If I have nothing to do, what a gift. I need a lot of downtime to feel normal.
    This is true of me as well.


    Quote Originally Posted by labcoat View Post
    Imo, us INxjs are good at finding sources of excitement in things that others consider boring.
    Heh, yes, this can apply to me, too.


    Quote Originally Posted by The Greeter View Post
    It depends on what you mean by 'boredom'.

    If you mean in terms of experiences, as in, in a state of doing some action, then no.

    If you mean in terms of mental experiences, like, thinking about something, reading about something new, then yes.

    I worry about my mind becoming dull, but not overly concerned about missing an experience of an event that requires an active personal engagement. Although, I have nothing against the latter (since it sometimes fuels the former).
    Quote Originally Posted by Marie84 View Post
    Pretty much agree with the replies from the Ij's. I've noticed that this is one of the more common differences between opposite Ij's an Ep's; Ep's need more novelty and spontaneity, Ij's need more consistency and security.
    It's not that Ij's don't get bored, rather the source of boredom and antidote for it is probably bewildering to Ep's, to an extent.

    For the most part, I have no problem keeping myself entertained and busy in some way, and like April mentioned, downtime is needed to recharge. The time I have to myself, to do something as simple as quietly be online or read a book, is fulfilling to me.
    to both of the above.

    No, I don't fear boredom. I rarely if ever get bored. There is always something to do, something to learn, something to think about. Even if I were locked in an unfurnished room I'd still have my imagination, which could sustain me for a little while at least. But that is far from happening.

    If I get stuck in a mundane job it usually ends up that something comes along so I can switch to something more suited for me. And that happens without me trying very hard. So I don't feel it's something I have to fight or be on guard against because it never lasts very long. Maybe that's a difference between me and ENFps - I have a greater tolerance for what's "boring" and thus I can last through it until it goes away again. Thus I don't fear it.


    I have been called boring, however, and I'm sure I appear that way to lots of more adventure-seeking people.


    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Yeah i guess i meant mental experiences. Like being stuck in a mundane job.

    The thing with me is, i also need down time to relax and recharge, but when i have it, i start worrying that i might get bored so i look for a new project to work on. And then when i'm crazy busy working on like 3-4 projects at a time, i'm like praying for them to be over soon so i can finally get some rest, and the cycle starts again.
    You sound a bit like my sister (ENFp). Though she doesn't need a whole lot of time to recharge in quietness. A day spent only at home is rare for her and usually means she's got lots to study or is very sick.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post

    I have been called boring, however, and I'm sure I appear that way to lots of more adventure-seeking people.
    I think delta NFs all seem boring to Fe-valuers.


    You sound a bit like my sister (ENFp). Though she doesn't need a whole lot of time to recharge in quietness. A day spent only at home is rare for her and usually means she's got lots to study or is very sick
    LOL! My sister is INFj!! Isn't it great to have a mirror sister? Well it can be a little disappointing at times because when we're like planning on taking a trip together, one little thing can come up (like being bitten by a huge swarm of mosquitos) that will make her totally change her mind because of some Si-HA fear. I still go by myself, but it was supposed to be sister bonding time!! :frown:
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calvinist777 View Post
    I dunno, but I think it comes down to is what we mean by 'boredom.' I don't think anybody genuinely enjoys being bored. It's just that some people enjoy doing things that considered boring by others. I've been called a very boring person because I like to just sit around my house/dorm room and watch movies or get on the Internet. Is this boring? Depends on who you ask. Do EII's fear boredom? Maybe not the way an IEE does.
    this.

    i wouldn't say i'm afraid of boredom because the only time i think about it is when i'm actually feeling bored. i don't plan my time to avoid it or anything.

    and downtime isn't necessarily boring. like sitting on the bus on my way to work is often my favorite part of the day because i'm not obliged to do anything and i can just sit listening to music and staring out the window.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    ^ Same for me. I don't agree with the other people's posts on this topic. I don't get bored.

    Well I think this reflects that you dont have the fear of getting bored.

    I am never bored either, becuase I always fill my life with lots of things to do, but some of my motivation to do so is a sort of an aversion to the potential boredom that will come if i dont.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    I have been called boring, however, and I'm sure I appear that way to lots of more adventure-seeking people.
    Really? Hasn't been true for me. My SEE mentoring kids flock to me for excitement and adventure ideas, seems like I'm a storehouse of information that they use to keep themselves thoroughly entertained. I just don't go along with a lot of their adventures. I haven't been called boring ever before. Maybe you have low energy?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    Really? Hasn't been true for me. My SEE mentoring kids flock to me for excitement and adventure ideas, seems like I'm a storehouse of information that they use to keep themselves thoroughly entertained. I just don't go along with a lot of their adventures. I haven't been called boring ever before. Maybe you have low energy?
    Maybe no-one ever called you boring to your face. I'm willing to bet Fe-valuers think you're boring.
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    This IEE I know also likes a certain amount of downtime.

    In some ways, I think IEEs are more "independent" than EIIs, it's hard to explain. I see where I'm probably more naturally oriented towards the boredom / security of an IJ.

    It's screwy how much relational mechanics simply play out and dominate personal relationships.

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    I hate boredom, but I think I am a boring person to a certain extent. lol. At least a female ESTp has told me that before. She mentioned that I'm not a very emotive person and she found me hard to read. People do not really find me boring when they got to know me better and realise that I'm someone who likes to have fun even though I might seem reserved on the surface.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Maybe no-one ever called you boring to your face. I'm willing to bet Fe-valuers think you're boring.
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice View Post
    I hate boredom, but I think I am a boring person to a certain extent. lol. At least a female ESTp has told me that before. She mentioned that I'm not a very emotive person and she found me hard to read. People do not really find me boring when they got to know me better and realise that I'm someone who likes to have fun even though I might seem reserved on the surface.
    Yeah exactly. I think it all comes down to something Ashton put very well-- Fi/Te valuers speak a different "language" from Fe/Ti-valuers. So when we Fi-valuers find ourselves in the presence of Fe-valuers they are blind to or dont understand a lot of what is going on in our psyche, and vice versa. Though we Fi-valuers might think Fe-valuers are too obnoxious and loud and also not understand their "culture". And your dual (and identity) speak your language with the same dialect you do, even.

    So no, we aren't boring. Not at all to our own quadra, and not so much to adjacent quadras for different reasons.


    The OP was not about whether you are boring, but whether you yourself fear BEING bored.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    This IEE I know also likes a certain amount of downtime.

    In some ways, I think IEEs are more "independent" than EIIs, it's hard to explain.
    I see where I'm probably more naturally oriented towards the boredom / security of an IJ.

    It's screwy how much relational mechanics simply play out and dominate personal relationships.
    Yep, astute observations.
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    What about "loneliness"


    how do IEEs and EIIs think about, feel, or consider that?

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    I do fear boredom, but when it's related to procrastination, like me not doing something because it's boring.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    What about "loneliness"


    how do IEEs and EIIs think about, feel, or consider that?
    To me, loneliness is the truth of human existence. Overcoming the negative feelings towards it probably makes you stronger, imo. However, I don't know how much of it might be "too much" for a healthy mind.

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    What about "loneliness"


    how do IEEs and EIIs think about, feel, or consider that?
    Yes I feel lonely quite often. Going out and being around lots of people doesnt necessarily change that. In fact, i can sometimes feel lonelier that way.

    To not feel lonely, I need to be around people with whom I have a good Fi bond and doing things that nurture that bond.
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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobo View Post
    I do fear boredom, but when it's related to procrastination, like me not doing something because it's boring.
    Yeah i'm the same exact way.
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    Let's go to fairyland Minde's Avatar
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    I just asked my sister if she fears boredom. She said, "Not really. [pause] I used to. I don't really remember what it is anymore. [another pause] It's like asking if I'm afraid of a jaguar. I don't remember the last time I met a jaguar, but if I did I might be afraid of it."

    I should note that at this time in her life she's got a full schedule with full-time school and two intense part-time jobs.



    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    LOL! My sister is INFj!! Isn't it great to have a mirror sister? Well it can be a little disappointing at times because when we're like planning on taking a trip together, one little thing can come up (like being bitten by a huge swarm of mosquitos) that will make her totally change her mind because of some Si-HA fear. I still go by myself, but it was supposed to be sister bonding time!! :frown:
    It is nice having a mirror sister. Usually we're on the same page about Si stuff, and where differences happen in terms of going places is when she springs something on me. Heh, I like to plan my spontaneity. She's learned that about me, though, and I've learned to adapt to her more free approach to scheduling.


    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    Really? Hasn't been true for me. My SEE mentoring kids flock to me for excitement and adventure ideas, seems like I'm a storehouse of information that they use to keep themselves thoroughly entertained. I just don't go along with a lot of their adventures. I haven't been called boring ever before. Maybe you have low energy?
    I do tend to have lower energy than many. Or at least less of a need to expend a lot of energy. People don't actually call me boring much, but I tend to sometimes get the impression that my "stability" slows some people down.

    That's great that you get along so well with those kids, though.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    What about "loneliness"


    how do IEEs and EIIs think about, feel, or consider that?
    I don't know what you're asking, really. Could you expand on that concept at all?
    Last edited by Minde; 09-13-2010 at 11:02 PM. Reason: typo/grammar
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    Do you feel lonely? if so, describe it. How, why, when?

    It's a broad remark.

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    Let's go to fairyland Minde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    Do you feel lonely? if so, describe it. How, why, when?

    It's a broad remark.
    Ok.

    I think I feel different kinds of loneliness at different times.

    There's the kind where no one is physically around, where my location is empty except for me, and I cannot hear or see other people. Sometimes it is grand, almost majestic, especially when the space is vast - woodland or stretching architecture. My stomach tightens and I usually find myself wrapping something around me even if it is warm. It comes naturally to me to flick up a prayer, a thread of connection to a Person I know is there regardless. Sometimes I extend my stay - to revel in the difference, to soak up the rare feelings. But I don't think I'd want to remain so for long periods of time.

    There's the opposite kind where there are lots of people around, a crowd even, but no one I know or can connect/talk with. When I feel that kind of loneliness it's usually because the people I'm around are hugely different from me and/or I'm craving calmer surroundings. Like a foreign airport or a loud party. So it's usually "my own fault" for not reaching out.

    There's loneliness I feel when I'm thinking or feeling something and want to share it with someone (have someone share in my understanding) but can't. It's related to the desire to have somebody relate to me.

    There's the loneliness that comes from a desire for warmth and affection.

    There's the loneliness of wanting stimulating conversation.

    There's romantic (and, relatedly, sexual) loneliness, too, I suppose.


    My loneliest portion of life thus far was my teenage years, and I struggled with it. Different things helped with that.

    Nowadays I do not feel as painfully lonely. I have a lot of solid and healthy connections, and I usually know how to find what I need to fill gaps at least to the point where I don't feel bad. However... I do still feel lonely at times. And I think perhaps there are instances where I should feel more lonely, but I have avoided dealing with it...? It's an interesting question to ask myself.



    That's a lot of text. Maybe more than was needed.
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    Psycho Candy OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Not sure of my type yet...

    But I don't really get "bored" because I find my own mind endlessly fascinating . I almost require tons of time doing NOTHING just to think & daydream. I can put music on & for hours just listen & lapse into reverie.

    However, I have a strong RESTLESS feeling, as if I am missing out on something in the world. It's not boredom so much as a curiosity I need to explore. I also have a thing for novelty - new food, new fashion, new places, new music....

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    What about "loneliness"


    how do IEEs and EIIs think about, feel, or consider that?
    I fear this a lot.....and I feel it a lot. I feel most lonely when surrounded by other people though. I feel the disconnect most apparent at those times. When I am alone, I can at least imagine myself close to someone, but fantasy does wear thin & then the loneliness returns.
    4w5 sp/sx MBTI INFP (Fi Ne)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    Ok.

    I think I feel different kinds of loneliness at different times.

    There's the kind where no one is physically around, where my location is empty except for me, and I cannot hear or see other people. Sometimes it is grand, almost majestic, especially when the space is vast - woodland or stretching architecture. My stomach tightens and I usually find myself wrapping something around me even if it is warm. It comes naturally to me to flick up a prayer, a thread of connection to a Person I know is there regardless. Sometimes I extend my stay - to revel in the difference, to soak up the rare feelings. But I don't think I'd want to remain so for long periods of time.

    There's the opposite kind where there are lots of people around, a crowd even, but no one I know or can connect/talk with. When I feel that kind of loneliness it's usually because the people I'm around are hugely different from me and/or I'm craving calmer surroundings. Like a foreign airport or a loud party. So it's usually "my own fault" for not reaching out.

    There's loneliness I feel when I'm thinking or feeling something and want to share it with someone (have someone share in my understanding) but can't. It's related to the desire to have somebody relate to me.

    There's the loneliness that comes from a desire for warmth and affection.

    There's the loneliness of wanting stimulating conversation.

    There's romantic (and, relatedly, sexual) loneliness, too, I suppose.


    My loneliest portion of life thus far was my teenage years, and I struggled with it. Different things helped with that.

    Nowadays I do not feel as painfully lonely. I have a lot of solid and healthy connections, and I usually know how to find what I need to fill gaps at least to the point where I don't feel bad. However... I do still feel lonely at times. And I think perhaps there are instances where I should feel more lonely, but I have avoided dealing with it...? It's an interesting question to ask myself.



    That's a lot of text. Maybe more than was needed.
    ditto....

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    IEI gets the nod for you, for now

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    IEI gets the nod for you, for now
    Me?

    People who've read my posts on other boards seem to think I am EII or even IEE - Delta NF basically. That's why I'm hanging out here for a bit.
    4w5 sp/sx MBTI INFP (Fi Ne)

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