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Thread: Question for ISTJs

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    Default Question for ISTJs

    Hello.
    I am dating an ISTJ. She is a wonderful person. She taught me the value of money, being systematic, timely, productive, etc. etc.
    Because of her, I actually enjoy musicals and actually get a kick out of decluttering the mess around me.

    On a personal level, couple of things bother me. Despite their obsession with honesty, they twist truths and spin it to their favor...just to prove they are always right. Why is that?

    I could be in the middle of a conversation with my ISTJ gf holding her hands...and if a good looking guy happens to pass by...her eyes just follow him...totally ignoring me. Now my question is...is this a universal feature of ISTJs? And should I be all worked up about this? And ofcourse if I ask her why do you stare...she will give a logical "white lie" to cover up.

    I do know she cares for me...since we've spent so much time and we do have "history" together. It worries me however that she turns her love "on and off" like a faucet.

    If she behaves like this now...will this continue after marriage?

  2. #2
    I'm back, assholes! Herzy's Avatar
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    Hello!

    What you're saying about her and her "wandering eyes" seems to be a characteristic of types. It's probably pretty normal, however if it bothers you, maybe sit her aside and confront her about it. She probably won't take it too hard, and hopefully it'll stop her from looking at other guys like that. You've got to tell her that you don't like it (and why), rather than just asking her why she does it.

    What type are you, BTW?

    Good luck.
    , Se-sub
    8w8-3w8-7w8 sx/sx

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    Clearance level: 10 (9 is maximum) Fermi's Avatar
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    whenever she gaze off take her hand and put it to your penis. If she don't like your penis she will start gazing off, if you she likes your penis she will look more but you will get more hand-on-penis-interactions. it's a win-win situation.
    is like a wet kiss on the cheek and a warm hug by a cute smiling girl.
    is the confetti shots on your birthday party with all your friends.
    is a way to completely rip apart the face of god and stare directly at the naked universe.
    is like over here and then over there and they are all connected and I am on amphetamine.

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    Clearance level: 10 (9 is maximum) Fermi's Avatar
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    btw, why does it disturb you that she looks at other men? If it just stays with looks there shouldn't be any harm. Just think that you're the guy that fucks her at nights
    is like a wet kiss on the cheek and a warm hug by a cute smiling girl.
    is the confetti shots on your birthday party with all your friends.
    is a way to completely rip apart the face of god and stare directly at the naked universe.
    is like over here and then over there and they are all connected and I am on amphetamine.

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    Default Thanks for the replies...

    Pretty funny superman...
    I kinda agree, in a weird way. What's the point being jealous? I love the fact that I can ignore her for days and weeks and pick up right where we left off.

    I am
    INTP (MBTI)
    INTJ (socionics)

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    =)

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    Default Re: Thanks for the replies...

    Quote Originally Posted by MatchInside
    Pretty funny superman...
    I kinda agree, in a weird way. What's the point being jealous? I love the fact that I can ignore her for days and weeks and pick up right where we left off.

    I am
    INTP (MBTI)
    INTJ (socionics)
    Whoa!
    “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us”
    ― Pablo Neruda

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    Default Re: Thanks for the replies...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    Quote Originally Posted by MatchInside
    Pretty funny superman...
    I kinda agree, in a weird way. What's the point being jealous? I love the fact that I can ignore her for days and weeks and pick up right where we left off.
    Whoa!
    agreed. you can't expect a person to only have feelings for you when you're not giving her any attention. it's like I told an ex once "You're all I need, but I need ALL of you"
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Superman
    whenever she gaze off take her hand and put it to your penis. If she don't like your penis she will start gazing off, if you she likes your penis she will look more but you will get more hand-on-penis-interactions. it's a win-win situation.
    Good adivce.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by Superman
    whenever she gaze off take her hand and put it to your penis. If she don't like your penis she will start gazing off, if you she likes your penis she will look more but you will get more hand-on-penis-interactions. it's a win-win situation.
    Good adivce.
    lol

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    "...you can't expect a person to only have feelings for you when you're not giving her any attention..."

    Good advice...the only problem is she shows feelings to people who NEVER give her any attention on the first place. Besides, she considers my daily phone call to her place, "too much" attention.

    I never dealt this close with an ISTJ in my entire life. I guess I am holding on to her to understand her. I am showing her too much sympathy and putting up with her crap.

    I guess the best way to deal with an ISTJ is to kick their face in when they least expect it.

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    Default Re: Thanks for the replies...

    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    Quote Originally Posted by MatchInside
    Pretty funny superman...
    I kinda agree, in a weird way. What's the point being jealous? I love the fact that I can ignore her for days and weeks and pick up right where we left off.
    Whoa!
    agreed. you can't expect a person to only have feelings for you when you're not giving her any attention. it's like I told an ex once "You're all I need, but I need ALL of you"
    I think you might need some more "life experience", Match. Especially if an INTj doesn't have a...... classroom environment, so to say, for understanding how people function, then I can see it as being a large problem area. (obviously).

    ......
    that's all for now
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I think the problem is, I am head over heels for this girl. I never knew about INTJ/ISTJ compatability issues.

    She wants me to marry her. I would...the only problem is... she lacks showing affection, she wants to be in control, and she has major "anger" issues.

    I love her, but I am afraid if I commit to marriage...this fem nazi is going to make my life miserable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MatchInside
    She wants me to marry her. I would...the only problem is... she lacks showing affection, she wants to be in control, and she has major "anger" issues.
    .
    She is ISTj, she is a sexual Aggressor, she expects you to be a Victim, she has far more than you, you both have weakish and , which means that you both expect from the other a lot more in the sense of displaying, and understanding, emotions.

    You crave the showing of affection of , only she can't provide you with that because she also craves that from you.

    Everything fits together.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    agreed. you can't expect a person to only have feelings for you when you're not giving her any attention. it's like I told an ex once "You're all I need, but I need ALL of you"
    This sounds like what I have heard another SLE say. Is this a typical Beta ST sentiment? Or maybe it is Beta in general?, since I am much the same way

    Quote Originally Posted by MatchInside View Post
    "...you can't expect a person to only have feelings for you when you're not giving her any attention..."

    Good advice...the only problem is she shows feelings to people who NEVER give her any attention on the first place. Besides, she considers my daily phone call to her place, "too much" attention.
    Is this typical of LSIs? I think I have only limited experience with them, do they not like a lot of attention in romantic relations? If not, how does this work with their duals EIEs?

    I guess the best way to deal with an ISTJ is to kick their face in when they least expect it.
    Ha

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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelMaybe View Post
    Is this typical of LSIs? I think I have only limited experience with them, do they not like a lot of attention in romantic relations? If not, how does this work with their duals EIEs?
    They do. The more, the better. Especially 1 on 1 confessions, romantic moments, plays, surprising spectacles and such.
    EIEs can show their full talents and can display all the emotions in front of LSIs in a sort of mesmerizing, hypnotizing affection episode and they love the fact that they may loose their brakes completely because LSIs fully tolerate them...
    LSIs seem to be charmed during such an episode.

    I don't know if it's any help - first of all it's hard to mimic another type's behaviour, second - there has to be some "liking" first.

    In case of EIE romance style I may even say that this type plays sort of peacock tactics - displaying vividly his talents yet only tempting the other side to go for him . "I'm so great, I know you love me, go ahead and take me!" kinda attitude ;].
    Last edited by koldj; 02-24-2010 at 11:11 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by koldj View Post
    They do. The more, the better. Especially 1 on 1 confessions, romantic moments, plays, surprising spectacles and such.
    EIEs can show their full talents and can display all the emotions in front of LSIs in a sort of mesmerizing, hypnotizing affection episode and they love the fact that they may loose their brakes completely because LSIs fully tolerate them...
    LSIs seem to be charmed during such an episode.

    I don't know if it's any help - first of all it's hard to mimic another type's behaviour, second - there has to be some "liking" first.

    In case of EIE romance style I may even say that this type plays sort of peacock tactics - displaying vividly his talents yet only tempting the other side to go for him . "I'm so great, I know you love me, go ahead and take me!" kinda attitude ;].
    oh, this is SO true

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    Coldest of the Socion EyeSeeCold's Avatar
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    I got my heart ripped out by an ISTJ....never again. Funny though that it was put back together by an ESTP, and then stolen.

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    ladyinred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EyeSeeCold View Post
    I got my heart ripped out by an ISTJ....never again. Funny though that it was put back together by an ESTP, and then stolen.
    sorry to hear that what is your type EyeSeeCold??

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