Who are you?
This is one of those nebulous issues that crosses my mind from time to time. I wonder if there's something definite or unchanging I can really attribute to my personal identity. It's weird and hard to fathom in a way that makes me feel uneasy trying to pinpoint who I am, like I should say, "well I love trying new foods" or something else that's just peripheral. Maybe there is some core, central thing that if I knew how to speak it, and you heard it, you might finally get me, or I you, but I don't know.
What are your interests?
Just generally enjoying day to day life, I guess. I mean I have my pet intellectual funtimes, like philosophy, or space, or war, but mostly I like finding stuff that makes me laugh and feels good, whether it's educational or pointless. I don't know if it makes me superstitious but I do kind of like Tarot. There's a lot of hidden meaning down in there somewhere, plus the idea that you might stumble upon it rather randomly, which fascinates me.
What do you do for a living?
FedEx Load Coach. Meaning that at any given time I'm training 2-8 people at a time how to load trailers. It's tiring on one level but it's been good experience. I've met some fucking awesome individuals doing it and it's really helped me come out of my shell in a lot of ways. The biggest obstacle for me has been the sort of downward pressure from management to always push for more, which I can kind of see the point of since things do tend to stagnate if you don't stay on top of it, but it's just the way they go about it (very impersonal, clipped, productivity driven sort of communication) that makes me . That said, work is something I never take home with me. As soon as I clock out until I have to clock back in is r&r time.
Are you in school? How do/did you like it?
Not anymore. Part of me would like to go back, since I think I'd get more out of it now, but financially I don't think that's possible. I liked college, especially the classes I didn't have to take but did. They opened my eyes to brand new things, made me ask questions I probably never would have cogitated on my own, to realize how very vast the world of ideas and knowledge extends and how very little we yet are able to understand or explain.
Future goals? Past experiences?
This question has caused me far more personal confusion and helplessness than just about any other. I don't quite dwell as much on the past as I used to as a kid, and future goals are something I prefer to keep open and undetermined. The ones I do have are really vague, like try to find happiness, whatever that is, or find love, have kids, do something for a living you like.
What are your friends like?
Most of the people I consider my closer friends tend to be very expressive, daring, willing to say anything that crosses their mind but without trying to be a dick about it. They're usually pretty nonchalant about most things, more energetic than me but also willing to just relax, and they almost always have ridiculous sense of humors. Everything is a joke. Full of bravado. Quick with a laugh. Almost all my friends are exceptionally outgoing and awesome. My very best friends are really open minded, especially when it comes to talking about odd stuff you normally wouldn't encounter everyday, like the physics of throwing a curveball on the moon or arguments for or against there being a God, but in a light joking atmosphere.
What would you say the focal point of your life is?
Enjoy it and don't overthink things.
Beliefs? General thoughts about w/e?
There have been very specific tracts of time that I would have said I didn't really believe in much at all. More confused and apathetic than I was nihilistic though. The one gift philosophy gave was a better way to begin sifting through beliefs to realize that Truth is hard to come by and that there will always be so much I just won't ever get. Just like everyone else. When I was younger I could never figure out how everyone else around me seemed to be so deadset on what they wanted and knew what that was. Anyhow, these days I've become less afloat in a sea of doubt and more of a hedonistic skeptic.
I'm sure I have more beliefs but most of them are fairly malleable, either because the terminology is still vague, the structure unrefined, the attachment of implication, connection, or meaning too uncertain for me to really put stock in it for myself.
I may have to expand this section later because this is getting me thinking.
How would you describe yourself compared to others?
I'd say I'm smarter than most people, if only because everyone seems to come to me with weird hard questions expecting me to have an answer. I'm also a little slower than most people when it comes to making decisions. I can get a little unpredictable a lot of times where I'll overstudy some relatively insignificant decision but then a big one comes along and I go totally impulsive all over it.
How would others describe you?
As very quiet, amiable, someone you can say anything around, generous, timid, occasionally awkward, hard to get a hold of unless you see me on a daily basis, very independent, sometimes guarded, concerned, good listener, go with the flow, a bit lackadaisical, zones out sometimes.