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Supervision relations: how do you feel interacting with your supervisor?
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Last edited by female; 08-17-2010 at 03:39 AM.
I have befriended an EII before, we were getting along really well for two years, talking to each other everyday and having really pleasant moments of intellectual exchange. But something like three months ago we had an arguing, he didn't like it when I called him egoistical. He obviously was so, he was frustrated for not having the glory and the prestige that many people have, he hated being regarded as a regular person by most people. I told him:
"Most surely you are not a regular person (namely, gammas and betas), but you are indeed very talented (what immediately excludes both these quadras), you know that 99% of the people on this world is ignorant and totally devoid of real vision, that's why Socrates was killed, that's why Jesus was killed, that's why every single real prophet and proclaimer of truth was reject by everyone. Don't be sad, this current world is made by and meant to mediocre people. This Earth is just a nest of scum... being rejected here doesn't mean you are an ordinary person, my friend. By the very opposite, you know the ignorant reject the wise since the very beginning! They are totally incapable of reaching the high truth because the only thing they know are severely handicapped conceptions and precociously interrupted glances into reality. For God sake, Romulo (Romulo was his name), of course these people only praise crappiness because they are crappiness themselves! You are being really egoistical for wanting the appraisal of the ignorant masses in stead of the recognition of the wise... What does the appraisal of the ignorant mean? NOTHING! It's totally destitute of any real meaning and significance, it's by no means real appraisal! Because being praised by the egoistical masses is a living paradox! These people only care for themselves!!! Do you think that the masses honor and have high esteem regarding their idols??? NO!!! They simply envy them!! It's just envy that you can seen in the crazy shouts of Madonna fans, for example! If they could, they would kill her and occupy her place! There is no honor in these people... When you really honor someone, you don't envy them, you simply want to serve and be guided by them, because they will lead you to higher goodness. When you honor someone, you never secretly want to annihilate that person to be even superior (?) than him/her, this is relegated to Madonna fans (also to Lady GaGa maniacs)! When you honor someone you want to form a strong bound of allegiance and total altruistic connection with them, you don't want to annihilate them but be one and single with them, because the end of the honorable ones immediately means your own annihilation! So, my good Romulo, don't dream about being praised by the dumb ones. When you do that, you simply makes it explicit that you are nothing more than one of them in matter of morals, purposefulness and spiritual foundation. You proved yourself really egoistical and materialistic now, Romulo!
After this he blocked me on skype, on msn and on facebook! We never saw each other again. But we enjoyed a two years old really intimate friendship.
Older brother is ILE, so I'm used to dealing with them. The trick is to revert to Te to win every argument and criticize everything they say.
I feel like everything I say lacks energy. I sometimes get problems with pronouncing the words. I loose my good feeling about myself and but I still try to keep it up. I might also try to be more like the LSE. But it's not like I think that the LSE doesn't value what I say, the feeling of not being valued comes magically from nowhere, I think this is important to realize. So it feels like LSE has some magic power over me.
I supervise Ashton. There are pics to prove it.
DeAnte! Welcome back.Originally Posted by DeAnte
ISTp
SLI
Enneagram 5 with a side of wings.
And a hearty hello to you too there, good sir Cyrano!
Awkward at best, and at worst like I'm reduced to a little puddle of useless goo.
You spoke wonderful words, oh wise one
Actually the supervisor overvalues the supervisee in the beginning, unfortunately, this is how instinct has set us up in terms of socionics behavioral functions. I have tried within myself to meditate upon this instinct and try to overcome it in ways; it's been a limited measure; good communication helps superisory relations get on with each other better. Provided that the J type get past their rigidly pre-adapted set of thinking and judgements.
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Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
I feel like I should check my belongings for half of them may be stolen.
ILI (FINAL ANSWER)
Nervous, tense. I feel like I everything I do or say is up for scrutiny. I can try my best and do everything 'right' and still feel like I come up short. Not a pleasant relation.
LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP
I don't think I want to kill Madonna, but I still think she was pretty cool, at least back in the 80'ies. And she made some really good, dancable music.
Hi Ammonius! How is it going?
I feel okay I guess. A little bit undervalued but it doesn't bother me. I don't spend long periods of time with LIEs. It's funny--they seem to think there's something interesting about me at first and then after they get to know me a little more, it feels like they're disappointed--like I'm too lazy (which is often true), like I ought to be doing more somehow. The fact that they are disappointed is probably for the best since I can't give them what they're looking for anyway. But it's... amusing to watch it play out.
IEI-Fe 4w3
Voila!! that's how i feel with my supervisor (LII)!!
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Most LII's would never bother stealing physical objects. I'd hold tight to your soul when around one though.
ILI (FINAL ANSWER)
Most of the time fine. Maybe a little more energy drained. Sometimes annoyed at their inability to stay on a topic of discussion or activity for as long as I would have liked. Sometimes undervalued.
“No psychologist should pretend to understand what he does not understand... Only fools and charlatans know everything and understand nothing.” -Anton Chekhov
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Bardia0
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Bardia0
jesus christ! you were trying to uplift him and tell him the truth and he ignored you? he might get it in time.
You stroked his ego this much and he stopped being friends with you?!?! This guy really doesn't know the meaning of a compliment.It sucks when friends break up over things like this.
How do you *think* people feel. Really. You just are amused by other people's drama and pain. It's called schadenfreude, honey. You like the DRAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAA and the pain of when a supervisee is naturally hurt by a supervisor attacks.
You're amusing. You're like the guy who asks 'how does it make you feel?' after a girl has been raped or something. I can't blame u too much for this cause it's human and universal or whatever, but come on now. You already know the answer, giblet. Now learn a real life skill instead of emotionally goating people on the internet. (Don't accuse me of not doing the same, I'm IEI that means I'm the most moral person in the world. The rules don't apply to me because I am pure magic purified!)
Supposedly my brother-in-law is my supervisor. We've always had a cautious relationship. I definitely feel it at times; I think he does, too. At least, he has commented before that it's a good thing he and I aren't married because we'd probably always be on each other's case about something...idk about that, as we've never been close enough to test that theory... but I do know that our direct interractions are very rare; usually, we make a habit of communicating indirectly through each other's spouses. Or if we're in a group, we can comfortably associate with each other and even speak directly to each other a bit.
On a few occasions now, I have heard him express an opinion that I don't agree with, or he has unknowingly shot down one of my opinions (before I've even expressed it), and so then I know not to talk about that particular subject with him.
My life's work (haha):
http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/blog.php?b=709
Input, PLEASEAnd thank you
Actually, I've experienced this with my supervisor recently. And communication on the LIIs part was sorely lacking until I heard about some inaccuracies she was spreading about me, through a third party. Instead she was putting up a fake-nice fake-sweet fake-helpful front until I confronted her and made her sit down with me for a discussion about these issues. Apparently she'd been trying to tell me something in her mind, not actually in reality, and swears she told me 1000 times.
The other thing that happened was whenever I ask her a question, like a random, work-related question, she apparently infers some weird conclusion about what I must know or not know, and what my reasons are for asking. Which didn't completely come as a surprise to me, because I have noticed that I never get a straight answer from her to my questions (which are usually pretty simple, usually about where things are located, or a clarification about procedure). Instead she either gives me some ambiguous answer or she goes into a whole lecture on some basic biochem concept that I already know. And then I need to ask her like 5-10 more questions to get the answer to my original question (at which point I get HIGHLY annoyed). SHE apparently has been telling people she spends all her time with me, teaching me basic biochem.Another scenario that she brought up as "evidence" for this was when I asked her to just double check my calculations on something we were working on together. Apparently to her that meant I didn't know how to do them.
To me, it was just making sure I didn't make a stupid math error that might result in inaccurate results!
The other thing that happens is, when i ask a random simple question, she drops everything she's doing, runs over to me (as I'm doing my work), and after I finally get the answer to my question she starts babysitting me. For HOURS. I didn't really need to be babysat like that, but like, it's not that I minded her presence--i mean other than my frustration with her over the way she doesn't answer my questions she's seemed pretty friendly, so like I'm not going to be one to say "go away." The way SHE interpreted the situation was that I'm clingy and that right as she's in the middle of work, I always pull her away, and that I seemed to be desperately in need of a friend.
But then, when i brought conversation with her to a minimum she tried initiating like 3 non-work-related conversations that I chose not to entertain--in the past I may have. Then she got insulted and told everyone I was being mean to her. So who really is the clingy one here?Maybe she misinterpreted my sociability and friendliness as clinginess, who knows. Or more likely, she's getting worried that she'll get in trouble for her lack of productivity so she's insuring herself with people to put the blame on.
I seriously suspect her intentions are dishonest, tbh. She feels insecure about her work and she feels the need to knock some people down.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
lol That's exactly what would happen with me and my former supervisor boss. I'd ask him a very straightforward question and he'd jump to the conclusion that I needed to know something very basic and obvious that did not pertain to what I was asking at all. ?? No idea what was up with that.
IEE
I think it's just a Ti-based ("if A then B") brain responding to communication totally lacking in Ti, in an Ne way(making assumptions about why we're asking what they think we're asking).
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
This helps in the supervising part, as it motivates you to do better. They focus on that spark in you, but don't give you any slack. Initially, it was the one of the best feelings I've ever had, personally. Trouble begins when you can't get yourself together and be consistent in your creations, then there's the downward spiral and loss of ego.
@redbaron I find that interesting that you feel disappointed and undervalued. I've felt that way with my dual before many times in those exact words - "i'm disappointed in you". In fact I find my supervisor and supervisee overevaluate me to make me sound better than what i am.
its frustrating I was having an intense philosophical conversation with another dual and interestingly enough we were discussing east indian culture and I was mentioning how they have two things down pat: sexuality and spirituality - in reference to the karma sutra and buddhism.
people commonly divide the two. the frustration is to be spiritual is nice but to be sexual is naughty. its a killer. i'm sick of the divide people create.
you can be a nice guy and still want and enjoy sex. her disappointment was i am a nice guy but i wanted to sleep with her. i'm dame sure she did too but she has a guilt complex with regards to sex.
...
i'm venting!!
I think that could be, but also not enough information that the INTj wants to hear, because she seemed to think that I have no thoughts of my own since I didn't actually tell her all my thoughts (she's not in charge of me btw...why does she want to know all my thoughts???) o_O
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
My dad is my supervisor (IEE-LII) and back when I was a child, it was a great thing. Like others said, most of the time I was just listening and felt like I had nothing to add and actually learnt a lot of stuff from him.
Now that I'm older and more educated, I started to realize that what seemed so solid about his arguments is starting to fall apart. Most of the time I realize that his arguments have a strong logical structure, but are lacking when it comes with empiric evidence supporting them, so they end up being false despite sounding completely credible.
For example, I have a mentally ill brother and my dad has always supported his theory that he got damage in the brain from not breathing for a few minutes at birth. It's an easy, logical argument that gives him somewhat ease of mind. However, after several studies with magnetic ressonance, the supposed damaged brain hasn't shown signs of being damaged at all and he refuses to understand that the nature of his problem is genetic.
Thing is, I feel very frustrated because I know many times I'm right, but simply because I can't express it in a way my dad understands, he takes what I say as nonsense. Over time I've learned to have confidence in my opinions regardless of being treated with condesdence. I think it helps quite a bit to concentrate in what you're saying and not what others think about you.
[| NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
What is it?
When we first met it was fun, but the more we've gotten to know each other I generally feel bad after interacting. I feel like I am being judged by the other person (who is my Supervisor), and so it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth and makes me feel inferior.
my experiences haven't really been bad. i've had a few short friendships with probable SEEs that have just kind of fizzled out before the distance became close enough for any real problems. mostly i find them a bit overwhelming with their energy/desire for contact and they seem to see me as endearingly innocent/stupid or something, lol, but there haven't been serious problems. i've also found them to be pretty cool company, just not for too long or i feel drained.
there was one guy i think was SEE who seemed to despise me pretty much on sight, but i have no idea what that was about..well, supervision, maybe, cos he always talked down to me, but i can't remember any specific criticisms. i just remember this obnoxiously superior attitude and this phony swagger he had. he was the only male i've typed SEE, idk if that would typically make a difference.
So very true in my case. When the LIE was complimenting me so effusively, I hardly understood where any of it was coming from and it had the opposite intended effect, making me feel shy and self-conscious.You spoke wonderful words, oh wise one
Actually the supervisor overvalues the supervisee in the beginning, unfortunately, this is how instinct has set us up in terms of socionics behavioral functions. I have tried within myself to meditate upon this instinct and try to overcome it in ways; it's been a limited measure; good communication helps superisory relations get on with each other better. Provided that the J type get past their rigidly pre-adapted set of thinking and judgements.
We used to attempt projects together and I would often stop halfway through, feeling like the most useless tool in the world, though she was always so ecstatic over my contributions and urged me to continue for her sake.
But if the two are able to provide for each other's "vital" IEs somehow it becomes somewhat magical. Eventually, the supervisor starts to sort of engage the breaks on their merriment, which is the first red flag for the supervisee. But for some reason, we're usually so intent on making it work that we will do things for them which we would do for no other. I moved for my supervisor though she likely thinks it should not have been for her yet acknowledges and knows that it was. I also know one ESE who constantly invites me into her home despite so much evidence that she hardly enjoys actually letting guests stay there as boarders, and I keep taking her up on her offers, letting her become angry with me and letting myself feel guilty afterwards before moving on. Supervision felt amazing for me at first until the role of supervisee became too demanding and being the supervisor felt too unfulfilling for me to bother with either.
With my Supervisor? Fine.
With who i Supervise? Agitated and possibly in disbelief.
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
Quite okay. ISTps are just fine, in my opinion. If they're really, really introverted, then it can be hard to interact one-on-one because I truly have to do all the talking with zero emotional feedback.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
I feel uncomfortable and I either act exaggerated or withdrawn.
Also I feel uncomfortable being critical even if I think they're doing everything wrong.
Yah.
They call it the "audit" relationship because of the underlying suspiciousness and "checking" up on each other.
The end is nigh
I always feel like I have to be careful lest I want to step on some invisible toes that they are good at getting sentimental about. Then I keep thinking like whether I awkwarded them out.
These things don't count on Agarina that much anymore.
“I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people in — and the West in general — into an unbearable hell and a choking life. - Osama bin Laden
How do you feel about your supervisors?
How do you feel about your supervisor relation? Not just from what you read, but how do you actually feel toward people who are your supervisors?
Perfect<------------------------------------------------------------------------------>Loops and Tings
Ambivert / Aggressor / Trailblazer / Nomad / Alpha Caretaker / Free Spirit / Kevlar Speed Demon / Ninja
I have yet to see the supposed socionic relation in effect. That goes for most of the relations though.
I find them easy to talk to and befriend. I also know too many of them, I don't know how we find each other. About a quarter of my friends are SLEs, if not more. Sometimes we are prone to get pissy with each other, but no matter what happens between us, we remain very close friends. I find that hard to replicate with most other types, besides my identicals. Also, one of the few types who I'm able to relate to no matter what their age is - my little cousin is one, and he keeps mentioning my 'godly' planning skills to everyone he knows, he also makes detailed comments about things I'm able to do with the ball that he can't and such (he is a soccer player, 17), and I don't always notice these things but I very much appreciate this kind of insights, which not everyone can provide. Our relationships do not develop much, but they are generally good people that I'm willing to spend a lot of time with.
obnoxious brats.
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