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Thread: Sexual Compatibility in the Quadras by Bukalov

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    Default Sexual Compatibility in the Quadras by Bukalov

    http://www.socioniko.net/en/authors/index-library.html

    Seeing as how the thread on sexual attitudes is pretty popular, I thought I'd post this article and see what you guys think. Do you agree with it from your own experiences?

    Sexual Compatibility in the Quadras


    © Alexander Boukalov, 1992.
    From: A.Boukalov, A.Boyko. Socionics and Bioenergetics of Human Relations. Kiev, 1992.
    Author's site: www.socionics.ibc.com.ua
    © Dmitri Lytov, translation, 2002.
    Edited by Darren Chappell.
    Disclaimer: these are only preliminary results based on questioning a small group of people whose socionic types were known to the author. Future experimental researches may confirm or disprove some of the facts presented here.

    Its unique program of interaction in intimate relationships characterizes each quadra. Quadra-mates are sexually the most compatible partners. We made a hypothesis that these programs correlate with the so-called perinatal matrices described by Stanislaw Grof.

    Tender touches and caresses distinguish the sexual program of the 1st Quadra (Alpha). In the dual couple The Seeker/The Mediator partners ‘love each other by skin’, as if dissolving in each other’s embraces. Both The Mediator and The Bonvivant, being sensory types, love being tenderly stroked along their skin. However The Bonvivant, compared to The Mediator, is more emotional and passionate in his/her sexual interaction, because they have to activate (‘to wind up’) their dual The Analyst. On the other hand, The Mediator, being an irrational type, reveals more creativity and flexibility.

    Both logical (and simultaneously intuitive) types of the first quadra, The Seeker and The Analyst, reveal less activity. The relationship between The Seeker and The Analyst is characterized by lack of feelings and emotions, since both are logical and intuitive. On the other hand, the ‘mirror relationship’ between The Bonvivant and The Mediator manifests in bright emotions and sensations. However, mutual subconscious resentment gradually grows. In fact, the ‘mirror relationship’ in marriage mutually exhausts partners. And The Bonvivant suffers more due to his rationality, while The Mediator feels less discontent.

    In the 2nd Quadra (Beta) the nature of sexual caresses is of different kind. They do not like feeble strokes, but tend to intense effect on the partner’s skin, which manifests in strong embraces, in squeezing each other. The Legionnaire and The Inspector both being sensory types, are very jealous: just the thought of the partner’s infidelity may poison their life. It is not mere accident that William Shakespeare, The Mentor, colorfully described how Othello (The Inspector) squeezed Desdemona trying to kill her. Let us consider a real example: a married couple, students, The Inspector (husband) and The Mentor (wife), live in a dormitory. Since the wife is a sociable extravert, her husband is often jealous of her contacts with the neighbors. The scenes much resemble those described by Shakespeare: “Whom have you been with?” the husband asks and puts his hands onto the wife’s neck. She shrieks, and he gets scared and releases her.

    As for The Legionnaire, he/she can in the moments of intercourse give accurate and decisive commands to their dual The Lyricist. The ‘mirror’ between The Legionnaire and The Inspector is burdened by complications: in order to adapt to each other, The Legionnaire needs to control himself permanently, to stay reserved. This makes him very tired; but unless he does it, he would exhaust The Inspector by his sensory function, which is absent for The Mentor. The Inspector expects from The Mentor colorful dramatic feelings and support for his/her sensory initiatives. In the meantime, the partners may put themselves in the most unbelievable positions.

    It is interesting to remark that types belonging to different quadras, when they encounter, wonder about each other’s behavior (including sexual). E.g. a woman-Conservator was quite amazed by attempts of a man-Lyricist to squeeze her – she began to ‘teach him anew’.

    The sexual program of the 3rd Quadra (Gamma) is very dynamic and is often characterized by acrobatic behavior of the partners. In the dual couple The Politician / The Critic initiative usually belongs to the first, who rule their partner using their sensory function. The Critic would submit when simply taken and lead by the hand. One Critic would say; “If one takes my hands and leads me, I would follow at once and wouldn’t resist, but would submit to the partner’s control”.

    The dual couple The Conservator/The Enterpriser, on the other hand, is characterized by frequent change of the partners’ positions, high intensity of feelings and very high quantity of intercourses within short periods (3-4 days) with subsequent long period of relaxation, restoring forces. If The Politician cools after the intercourse very quickly, The Conservator will need one-two hours of strokes and caresses. The ‘mirror’ between The Conservator and The Politician resembles the ‘mirror’ between The Inspector and The Legionnaire: like these two, both are very jealous.
    It is interesting in this regard to consider for comparison the intimate relationship between The Mediator and The Politician. This is the so-called ‘contrast’ relationship: it may result in the partners’ mutual and rapid growing cold to each other, especially from the introvert’s side: this is total mutual sensual and emotional extinguishment. On the other hand, in the ‘contrast’ pairs of intuitive types, e.g. The Seeker/The Critic, The Psychologist/The Lyricist such extinguishment is weaker – their sensory functions reside in their unconsciousness.

    Play behaviors, laughing, tenderly pinching the partner etc. are descriptive for the sexual program of the 4th Quadra (Delta). The Administrator shows more energy but less creativity in ‘winding up’ his shy dual The Humanist, and is less reserved compared to The Craftsman. The last himself, sparing energy, reveals more creativity with his dual The Psychologist, they both accept it as fine art. Women-Psychologists are characterized by wriggling, coquettish and cat-like moves. They are strongly stimulated by external factors: movies, literature, and music. A weak trait of The Psychologist is his feeling of sympathy: the partner may succeed by telling stories about his sufferings. In this situation The Psychologist becomes tender and feels strong necessity of providing relaxation to the partner. By the way, The Psychologist may be compared to Don Juan: men of this type may successfully court women, but in the last moment avoid intimacy (probably in order to stay independent). It is his dual The Craftsman or his activator The Administrator who will take initiative in such relations on themselves.

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    In the 2nd Quadra (Beta) the nature of sexual caresses is of different kind. They do not like feeble strokes, but tend to intense effect on the partner’s skin, which manifests in strong embraces, in squeezing each other. The Legionnaire and The Inspector both being sensory types, are very jealous: just the thought of the partner’s infidelity may poison their life. It is not mere accident that William Shakespeare, The Mentor, colorfully described how Othello (The Inspector) squeezed Desdemona trying to kill her. Let us consider a real example: a married couple, students, The Inspector (husband) and The Mentor (wife), live in a dormitory. Since the wife is a sociable extravert, her husband is often jealous of her contacts with the neighbors. The scenes much resemble those described by Shakespeare: “Whom have you been with?” the husband asks and puts his hands onto the wife’s neck. She shrieks, and he gets scared and releases her.
    I've actually found this to be true of myself. When embracing, it's almost as if we're trying to crush ourselves into one another - we can't get close enough. It sounds morbid, yeah, but this is the sexual "perversion" of Beta. It isn't that streamlined plexi-glass manufactured S&M crap; gags and whips and whatnot. I tend to take that thing where one wants to mimic his love interest to the point of wanting to become a part of her during sex/carressing/what have you.

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    The other article (in the other thread) seemed to be more about romantic behavior in general, not specifically sexual behavior.

    I agree with both articles, and in this article I especially agree with this:

    They are strongly stimulated by external factors: movies, literature, and music.
    But I don't understand what this is getting at:

    A weak trait of The Psychologist is his feeling of sympathy: the partner may succeed by telling stories about his sufferings. In this situation The Psychologist becomes tender and feels strong necessity of providing relaxation to the partner.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky
    But I don't understand what this is getting at:

    A weak trait of The Psychologist is his feeling of sympathy: the partner may succeed by telling stories about his sufferings. In this situation The Psychologist becomes tender and feels strong necessity of providing relaxation to the partner.
    You know how it is when someone starts to verbalize their pain. "No one understands me", "I just cant win", "My parents abandoned us when we were young. I had to take care of my brothers and sisters." . I cant stand to see someone down on themselves, esp a dual (who would possibly use this tactic to get attention ). I think its characteristic of ENFPs to rush in with words of encouragement, affection or distractions to make the other person feel better, bouy them up.

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Yeah but why is that a weak trait?
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    What about the activity partner?
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky
    Yeah but why is that a weak trait?
    I assume it is not meant to be taken that way but as ENFPs have a 'weakness for' poor unfortunate slobs etc....

    hmm makes me think of that song "Save me from the ranks of the freaks who suspect they could never love anyone".

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    What about the activity partner?
    uh.. them too, I guess. We're just lousy with sympathy Dont cross us though
    Edit: we need some more emoticons!

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Ah see this wasn't one of those awkward automatic translations so I didn't catch that weak traits would be weaknesses

    That makes sense then.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    In the 2nd Quadra (Beta) the nature of sexual caresses is of different kind. They do not like feeble strokes, but tend to intense effect on the partner’s skin, which manifests in strong embraces, in squeezing each other. The Legionnaire and The Inspector both being sensory types, are very jealous: just the thought of the partner’s infidelity may poison their life. It is not mere accident that William Shakespeare, The Mentor, colorfully described how Othello (The Inspector) squeezed Desdemona trying to kill her. Let us consider a real example: a married couple, students, The Inspector (husband) and The Mentor (wife), live in a dormitory. Since the wife is a sociable extravert, her husband is often jealous of her contacts with the neighbors. The scenes much resemble those described by Shakespeare: “Whom have you been with?” the husband asks and puts his hands onto the wife’s neck. She shrieks, and he gets scared and releases her.
    I've actually found this to be true of myself. When embracing, it's almost as if we're trying to crush ourselves into one another - we can't get close enough. It sounds morbid, yeah, but this is the sexual "perversion" of Beta. It isn't that streamlined plexi-glass manufactured S&M crap; gags and whips and whatnot. I tend to take that thing where one wants to mimic his love interest to the point of wanting to become a part of her during sex/carressing/what have you.
    Yeah, I definately agree with that.



    On another note: It talks very briefly about compatibility between different quadras, but it doesn't really elaborate. Does anyone have any ideas about this? What about people from opposing quadras, how would they interact?
    , Se-sub
    8w8-3w8-7w8 sx/sx

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    On another note: It talks very briefly about compatibility between different quadras, but it doesn't really elaborate. Does anyone have any ideas about this? What about people from opposing quadras, how would they interact?
    I was almost crushed by an INFP once

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz
    On another note: It talks very briefly about compatibility between different quadras, but it doesn't really elaborate. Does anyone have any ideas about this? What about people from opposing quadras, how would they interact?
    I was almost crushed by an INFP once
    But did you like it?

    I want to an INFp!
    , Se-sub
    8w8-3w8-7w8 sx/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kraus
    Quote Originally Posted by Topaz
    On another note: It talks very briefly about compatibility between different quadras, but it doesn't really elaborate. Does anyone have any ideas about this? What about people from opposing quadras, how would they interact?
    I was almost crushed by an INFP once
    But did you like it?

    I want to an INFp!
    OH YES! eat your out Kraus It scared me a little though

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Yep, ISTjs don't make any sense in their jealousy. They're quite funny in that respect, their overreactions are hilarious.

    Anyway, 1-2 hours. sic.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby
    I've actually found this to be true of myself. When embracing, it's almost as if we're trying to crush ourselves into one another - we can't get close enough. It sounds morbid, yeah, but this is the sexual "perversion" of Beta. It isn't that streamlined plexi-glass manufactured S&M crap; gags and whips and whatnot. I tend to take that thing where one wants to mimic his love interest to the point of wanting to become a part of her during sex/carressing/what have you.
    I have noticed this need in myself as well. Earlier I thought it fits with my INFP type, but now I am deeply confused. Otherwise I am clearly an infantile type though. Dirty talking is just creepy, (IMHO).
    "Arnie is strong, rightfully angry and wants to kill somebody."
    martin_g_karlsson


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    ESFj + INTj =
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    The descriptions are mainly, but not 100%, accurate with regard to the types I have any data on.

    None of it blatantly contradicts what I have observed or heard from others - like, say, a person whose types and relationships fit INFj well but who behaves like an Aggressor.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Let me be more precise -- I saw some slight inaccuracies (according to my information) with regard to very specific behaviors of very specific types. I decline to state exactly what they were.

    But nothing too serious -- the traits I have seen in one type are attributed by the text to that type's Mirror, which of course belongs to the same sexual quadra.

    So I regard such inaccuracies as of little consequence, and its overall accuracy is amazing.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChibiKeba
    I can relate to that really well, if it's true then I can tell J-chan defienitly isn't a Beta
    What would he be then?
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

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    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChibiKeba
    The type that doesn't care to have sex...EVAR!
    Possibly an INTp
    or INTj (not that this sort of thing is type necessarily related)
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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