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Thread: Penguin poddle

  1. #1
    twitch's Avatar
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    Default Penguin poddle

    Ok. So am sitting and having a coffee at the mall, and I have just seen the strangest little old lady. She was wearing all black clothes, small brown boots with thick socks, long black skirt, nice handbag, black jacket, little black woolen hat, and and extremely bright salmon colored scarf. Her arms were very long, and she walked like a penguin, little poddly steps. Very unusual. I think she might have been xnfj. Can anyone guess her type??

  2. #2
    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    The long arms point to her being a thief, so I think we can conclude that she stole the handbag. Had just been running away from her victim - hence the awkward penguin waddle (sore muscles). I think what happened was that she was on her way home from a family member's funeral. We can tell this because of the salmon scarf .. only a family member could get away with accessorising the funeral black with something that gaudy. So the funeral was over, and her face was swollen and red from tears. Her eyes little puffy slits. She was slowly sloshing through the mud in her ugly brown practical boots... all depressed and pondering the fact that she'd done nothing with her life, that she was a lonely old lady with no experiences under her belt to speak of except a random skydiving attempt, and no loved ones left that didn't embarrass her ... when suddenly she spies a handbag - a handbag sitting innocently next to an unaware young woman on a park bench - the handbag that she'd been coveting for some time in a shop window. She looked down at her own worn excuse for a handbag and was like "fuck it - what do I have to lose?" and casually smacks the woman upside the face on her way past and snatches up the bag. She didn't however figure on the intense guy going for his daily jog to care enough to give chase, but that didn't stop him from doing so. She was able to dispose of him by yelling "help, help! Ahh help!" thereby attracting the attention of a bunch of sweaty middle-aged overweight mums practicing yoga in the park. They were similarly frustrated with their desultory lives, and gladly took the opportunity to take out their frustration on the poor guy, jumping on him with scary fervour. This resulted in Death by Suffocation, and the old lady waved her thanks and continued on her sorry way. Walking with little poddly steps. Little poddly penguin steps.
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  3. #3
    norph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubicon View Post
    The long arms point to her being a thief, so I think we can conclude that she stole the handbag. Had just been running away from her victim - hence the awkward penguin waddle (sore muscles). I think what happened was that she was on her way home from a family member's funeral. We can tell this because of the salmon scarf .. only a family member could get away with accessorising the funeral black with something that gaudy. So the funeral was over, and her face was swollen and red from tears. Her eyes little puffy slits. She was slowly sloshing through the mud in her ugly brown practical boots... all depressed and pondering the fact that she'd done nothing with her life, that she was a lonely old lady with no experiences under her belt to speak of except a random skydiving attempt, and no loved ones left that didn't embarrass her ... when suddenly she spies a handbag - a handbag sitting innocently next to an unaware young woman on a park bench - the handbag that she'd been coveting for some time in a shop window. She looked down at her own worn excuse for a handbag and was like "fuck it - what do I have to lose?" and casually smacks the woman upside the face on her way past and snatches up the bag. She didn't however figure on the intense guy going for his daily jog to care enough to give chase, but that didn't stop him from doing so. She was able to dispose of him by yelling "help, help! Ahh help!" thereby attracting the attention of a bunch of sweaty middle-aged overweight mums practicing yoga in the park. They were similarly frustrated with their desultory lives, and gladly took the opportunity to take out their frustration on the poor guy, jumping on him with scary fervour. This resulted in Death by Suffocation, and the old lady waved her thanks and continued on her sorry way. Walking with little poddly steps. Little poddly penguin steps.
    You are wrong she was probably a whore.

  4. #4
    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Prove it.
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  5. #5
    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    You're not even a member.. wtf.. you're probably the whore.
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    That's some cool old lady

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