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Thread: What do you think?

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    Default What do you think?

    Characters: ENTP bestfriend/roommate "Ted"
    INTp nanashi
    ESFj Barbie
    Exxx with Fe Ken
    ESFp sweethearted Adonis man....we'll call him Sam
    INFp Kat
    ESFp Iain
    ESI/SEE Eric

    Context is followed by my questions in bold.

    Ted and nanashi were platonic best friends 2 years ago this fall. At that time Nanashi was starting to room with Ted. Nanashi answered Ted's door looking like a drowned, anaemic rat (having just finished her shower but not really put herself together), was looked up and down by Ted's out of town acquaintance--a brunette Barbie (ESFj) with a Ken (EXXX) in tow, and felt so uncomfortable that she resolved to look good the next day, when Ted's other friends were to visit. Nanashi:"Ted, tell me what the next friend is like, so I'm not surprised." Indulgently, Ted answers:"Sam's his name, and Sam....(Ted turns toward nanashi with a light in his eye) "You'd probably LIKE Sam! He...(wonderful list of ESFP qualities enumerated. Blah blah blah. Also Sam was with Barbie for 3 years and wanted to get married, but Barbie wanted to be a partying non-married couple still and she dislikes or is afraid of babies. Sam broke up with Barbie. Barbie's upset."

    Barbie had spent a while sobbing about wishing Sam would take her back, but she left Ted's house. The next day Sam arrives in all of his genuine, sweet, marvelous glory. Nanashi has to look at him for less than five minutes while he talks to others and interacts with his dog to know that she loves this person's soul. (Don't worry, nanashi isn't stupid, but she does now not dismiss the concept of love at first sight). Hours later, Nanashi is exhausted and tipsy but refuses melodramatically to go to sleep for work in the AM. She is picked up by the ESFp--gently and without disrespect--and taken into the other family room and deposited onto Ted's couch were she often spends the night after listening to ENTP Ted's beautiful ideas. "Sam?" "Yes?" "May I kiss you?" ESFP:"Always." Nanashi and Sam see each other every few weeks/attend a Halloween party together, and talk about being together. Sam is still based in another part of the country. He's not ready for a relationship. Nanashi wants one. Ted privately explains Sam's closest friend just died traumatically, he lost that long-term relationship with Barbie, and his father-figure died, too. He's a little shaken. Nanashi spends SIX HRs JUST KISSING Sam...and they fall asleep together on the couch. His kisses are better than those of anyone else she's every been with, even now. During one of Sam's visits nanashi and Ted are talking philosophy in a bedroom (totally unaware it--and nanashi sleeping over at Ted's was a bit concerning to Sam who cares about Ted and doesn't want to stand in hs way), and nanashi, having heard allegations Sam had been in physical relationships with women before Barbie was experiencing a bout of retroactive jealousy and was less than welcoming of the intrusion on her philosophical discussion. Cold eyes in an ILI can't be too pleasant to have to look at....a month later nanashi hears Sam is in town for his birthday. She dresses to the nine-and-a-halves and goes with their mutual friends to meet him downtown. He looked startled and unprepared. Nanashi asked him to dance after a drink, and he kept refusing and trying to excuse himself. She'd been picking up all night that he was avoiding her, but the song was an old favorite of hers, and she looked awesome, and his excuses were light. Eventually, he got up and danced with her, looking over her shoulder. She could recognize he was not reveling in their moment due to a disloyalty issue. They parted ways. Then, in the hall, Ted's female ESTj roommate looked straight in nanashi's face:"He's going back to Barbie." Nanashi looked as sad as an ILI will let herself in such a situation, and Ken gets concerned and tries to console her. On a camping trip, Sam asks nanashi's friend Kat:"Nanashi really hates me, doesn't she?" Kat:"No, nanashi's not like that..." Sam:"Yeah, kooky."
    She's blue over it off-and-on for 2 years, going on dates and having 3 short (1wk/4mos) relationships with ENFP and ENTP men, though not Ted. Nanashi's INFp friend Kat texts her in 2009 that Sam has left Barbie because she doesn't involve herself in his life.

    Camera goes black.
    lettering:July 8, 2010
    Ted sitting on couch with nanashi, casually slips into conversation that Sam had been talking to him that weekend and asked if nanashi still liked him. Nanashi:"WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?" Ted:"yeah. He's looking for someone else." Nanashi subjects Ted to an interrogation which reveals that Sam was not cruelly ascertaining her interest and then declaring he had none but was, rather, telling Ted he was again looking for a relationship and wondered if nanashi still thought of him like that. He hasn't contacted me. He's still in another part of the country, but I don't see that as an insurmountable obstacle. If it's something worth fighting for, we relocate or drive every weekend, you know?

    Problems: I met an ESFP, Iain, in a class the summer of the year I met Sam in the fall; while there was chemistry between Iain and myself and common experience (we even realized we attended a kids' group together 15 years earlier), our plans outside of class always got canceled. He invited me to his birthday/college graduation, and I invited him out to a club with my friends. Well, this summer, Iain is in grad school gave me the best hug I've ever had in my life, told me I was beautiful (starring at me suprisedly--that's an ego boost, even if it was unflattering to my former self), and sd to take a specific course with him that's the follow-up to the one we had before. His favorite teacher may have dropped the course, after all, so he may, too, but.....

    There's also a pot-head ESI/SEE greek god of a man, Eric (whose roommate (my friend Kat's bf) told Kat has a major thing for me.



    Basically,
    I'd like a relationship with either Sam, Iain, or a more sober Eric

    So, now what?
    Is the ball in my court with Sam?
    Can I go after them each at the same time? is there a way to do that without violating and all that is honorable?
    That doesn't seem fair, but they're ESFPs, how long will they be single for...right?
    Also, I would love to have them as friends.

    Someone with social skills, come and save me. I'm tired even thinking about this.

    Kind of hilarious since last week I was contemplating never finding an ESFP.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Hello Nanashi....

    My friend is a phd physicist who is ESFp and I'f you would like, I would be happy to introduce you to him...

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Oh, you're a girl? Two duals to choose from (Eric doesn't count)...I'm sure a lot of ILIs would be envious. Iain sounds the best to me.

    ESTj
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    Squishy's Older Sister

    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Hello, Maritsa.

    O man, that's incredibly sweet of you and thoughtful, maritsa. i do, however, feel a little concerned about meeting anyone in person off the internet....my internet life is where I spill a lot of guts and talk about my relationships anonymously, due to this and my concern for safety, and my tentativeness about meeting anyone so much further along with his life than I am now...not to mention the fact that he might be located far from me, I will gratefully decline for now.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Oh, you're a girl? Two duals to choose from (Eric doesn't count)...I'm sure a lot of ILIs would be envious. Iain sounds the best to me.

    I'm so used to being seen as a female....it's different that people don't automatically assume that on the interwebs.

    Yeah, Eric's young and malleable and may drop the pot for me instantly, but I'm not sure if there's enough life experience/refinement to make it good for me.

    Do you think you're more into Iain because he didn't violate by going back to his 3yr relationship? Since you and I both value , I thought it might be the reason. Or are you being practical and selecting the closer guy?


    Iain's 28. I'm 25. Eric's a baby (20-23). And Sam's 23.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Thanks for the replies. They are helpful. Sorry it was a book to read. I've got to run to class.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    Do you think you're more into Iain because he didn't violate by going back to his 3yr relationship? Since you and I both value , I thought it might be the reason. Or are you being practical and selecting the closer guy?


    Iain's 28. I'm 25. Eric's a baby (20-23). And Sam's 23.
    I'm being practical. Sam doesn't seem very secure; you'd have to put forth some effort to get him. I wasn't sure about the role Barbie played in it...long paragraphs are annoying to read. She seems like a jerk, though.

    ESTj
    1w2 sp/so 1-2-6
    Brilliand's Younger Sister
    Squishy's Older Sister

    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

  8. #8
    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Nanashi, you should turn your life into a romance novel or something!

    I don't have any advice though. Uh, go with your heart???

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    Do you think you're more into Iain because he didn't violate by going back to his 3yr relationship? Since you and I both value , I thought it might be the reason. Or are you being practical and selecting the closer guy?
    Yes, that would make sense.

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