Characters: ENTP bestfriend/roommate "Ted"
Exxx with Fe Ken
ESFp sweethearted Adonis man....we'll call him Sam
Context is followed by my questions in bold.
Ted and nanashi were platonic best friends 2 years ago this fall. At that time Nanashi was starting to room with Ted. Nanashi answered Ted's door looking like a drowned, anaemic rat (having just finished her shower but not really put herself together), was looked up and down by Ted's out of town acquaintance--a brunette Barbie (ESFj) with a Ken (EXXX) in tow, and felt so uncomfortable that she resolved to look good the next day, when Ted's other friends were to visit. Nanashi:"Ted, tell me what the next friend is like, so I'm not surprised." Indulgently, Ted answers:"Sam's his name, and Sam....(Ted turns toward nanashi with a light in his eye) "You'd probably LIKE Sam! He...(wonderful list of ESFP qualities enumerated. Blah blah blah. Also Sam was with Barbie for 3 years and wanted to get married, but Barbie wanted to be a partying non-married couple still and she dislikes or is afraid of babies. Sam broke up with Barbie. Barbie's upset."
Barbie had spent a while sobbing about wishing Sam would take her back, but she left Ted's house. The next day Sam arrives in all of his genuine, sweet, marvelous glory. Nanashi has to look at him for less than five minutes while he talks to others and interacts with his dog to know that she loves this person's soul. (Don't worry, nanashi isn't stupid, but she does now not dismiss the concept of love at first sight). Hours later, Nanashi is exhausted and tipsy but refuses melodramatically to go to sleep for work in the AM. She is picked up by the ESFp--gently and without disrespect--and taken into the other family room and deposited onto Ted's couch were she often spends the night after listening to ENTP Ted's beautiful ideas. "Sam?" "Yes?" "May I kiss you?" ESFP:"Always." Nanashi and Sam see each other every few weeks/attend a Halloween party together, and talk about being together. Sam is still based in another part of the country. He's not ready for a relationship. Nanashi wants one. Ted privately explains Sam's closest friend just died traumatically, he lost that long-term relationship with Barbie, and his father-figure died, too. He's a little shaken. Nanashi spends SIX HRs JUST KISSING Sam...and they fall asleep together on the couch. His kisses are better than those of anyone else she's every been with, even now. During one of Sam's visits nanashi and Ted are talking philosophy in a bedroom (totally unaware it--and nanashi sleeping over at Ted's was a bit concerning to Sam who cares about Ted and doesn't want to stand in hs way), and nanashi, having heard allegations Sam had been in physical relationships with women before Barbie was experiencing a bout of retroactive jealousy and was less than welcoming of the intrusion on her philosophical discussion. Cold eyes in an ILI can't be too pleasant to have to look at....a month later nanashi hears Sam is in town for his birthday. She dresses to the nine-and-a-halves and goes with their mutual friends to meet him downtown. He looked startled and unprepared. Nanashi asked him to dance after a drink, and he kept refusing and trying to excuse himself. She'd been picking up all night that he was avoiding her, but the song was an old favorite of hers, and she looked awesome, and his excuses were light. Eventually, he got up and danced with her, looking over her shoulder. She could recognize he was not reveling in their moment due to a disloyalty issue. They parted ways. Then, in the hall, Ted's female ESTj roommate looked straight in nanashi's face:"He's going back to Barbie." Nanashi looked as sad as an ILI will let herself in such a situation, and Ken gets concerned and tries to console her. On a camping trip, Sam asks nanashi's friend Kat:"Nanashi really hates me, doesn't she?" Kat:"No, nanashi's not like that..." Sam:"Yeah, kooky."
She's blue over it off-and-on for 2 years, going on dates and having 3 short (1wk/4mos) relationships with ENFP and ENTP men, though not Ted. Nanashi's INFp friend Kat texts her in 2009 that Sam has left Barbie because she doesn't involve herself in his life.
Camera goes black.
lettering:July 8, 2010
Ted sitting on couch with nanashi, casually slips into conversation that Sam had been talking to him that weekend and asked if nanashi still liked him. Nanashi:"WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?" Ted:"yeah. He's looking for someone else." Nanashi subjects Ted to an interrogation which reveals that Sam was not cruelly ascertaining her interest and then declaring he had none but was, rather, telling Ted he was again looking for a relationship and wondered if nanashi still thought of him like that. He hasn't contacted me. He's still in another part of the country, but I don't see that as an insurmountable obstacle. If it's something worth fighting for, we relocate or drive every weekend, you know?
Problems: I met an ESFP, Iain, in a class the summer of the year I met Sam in the fall; while there was chemistry between Iain and myself and common experience (we even realized we attended a kids' group together 15 years earlier), our plans outside of class always got canceled. He invited me to his birthday/college graduation, and I invited him out to a club with my friends. Well, this summer, Iain is in grad school gave me the best hug I've ever had in my life, told me I was beautiful (starring at me suprisedly--that's an ego boost, even if it was unflattering to my former self), and sd to take a specific course with him that's the follow-up to the one we had before. His favorite teacher may have dropped the course, after all, so he may, too, but.....
There's also a pot-head ESI/SEE greek god of a man, Eric (whose roommate (my friend Kat's bf) told Kat has a major thing for me.
I'd like a relationship with either Sam, Iain, or a more sober Eric
So, now what?
Is the ball in my court with Sam?
Can I go after them each at the same time? is there a way to do that without violating and all that is honorable?
That doesn't seem fair, but they're ESFPs, how long will they be single for...right?
Also, I would love to have them as friends.
Someone with social skills, come and save me. I'm tired even thinking about this.
Kind of hilarious since last week I was contemplating never finding an ESFP.