Fe Egos

[JWC3]

This isn't a question because it very much is type related but it bugs the living fuck out of me the way that Fe egos love every thing and every one. It completely defeats the point of love. It's no longer special or rare. It's just something you do, everyday. It's ordinary.

Even just throwing around the word love, without really meaning it is just as irritating. It robs the word love of all meaning.

And yeah I understand this helps Weak Fe valuing types manage and express their feelings or all that shit, but honestly I would rather have a solid concept of love's value and how special it really is, than lord it upon every thing.

If it takes some one who loves every one to love me then fuck it. I'd rather be single.

[717495]

Lol. Looks like you need a lesson in love then.

[silverchris9]

Shrug. Can't you tell the difference between fake "Iloveyou!" love and for serious actually caring about people love? I think Fe-egos talk less about I-actually-care-for-you love, or at least I do.

[munenori2]

<3

nah j/k. I don't know. I think something that might throw it off is that Fe egos are a little more likely to respond positively to just about everybody to make them feel good and, maybe just maybe, they're prone to occasionally be on the more embellishing side or flat out over enthusiastic to where sometimes the message gets lost a little bit. If you make people happy, they'll respond more positively, they'll feel more comfortable. Granted, it can get over done, to the point where sometimes you do have to step back and think about how you really feel versus what you're trying to engender at the moment.

[thePirate]

This isn't a question because it very much is type related but it bugs the living fuck out of me the way that Fe egos love every thing and every one. It completely defeats the point of love. It's no longer special or rare. It's just something you do, everyday. It's ordinary.

Even just throwing around the word love, without really meaning it is just as irritating. It robs the word love of all meaning.

And yeah I understand this helps Weak Fe valuing types manage and express their feelings or all that shit, but honestly I would rather have a solid concept of love's value and how special it really is, than lord it upon every thing.

If it takes some one who loves every one to love me then fuck it. I'd rather be single.

maybe you aren't SLE?

[electric sheep]

The worst feeling to have is none at all.

[munenori2]

I've ran SEE through my mental abacus a couple times, but jwc3 doesn't really fit the mould. He actually seems pretty involved in the inner workings/cohesion of the theory when you talk to him about it. Tho SEEs ime are usually the playa playa kind of guy that tries to talk to as many women at one time as they can handle, if only because they seem to feed off that kind of social admiration/desirability. Most of them I think their eyes would glaze over if I tried to talk socionics theory, unless I made it sound like something insightful they could get some use out of.

[MatthewZ]

The trick is noticing the nuances in how the basic "I love you" is expressed.

[717495]

You need to learn to love Fe egos for who they are.

[Azeroffs]

More applicable to Fe-base/Fi-ignoring imo.

[Creepy-male]

More applicable to Fe-base/Fi-ignoring imo.

EFs not managing or hearing their inner world. It happens with EFps as well in switching their closeness with you around based on how interesting you are to them.

[Azeroffs]

EFps are just impossibly inconsistent. They might treat you as their closest friend/loved one one moment and then act somewhat indifferent to you another.

EFjs consistently and typically treat everyone like a close friend by default. Idk about other people, but to me EFjs have an impenetrable facade. It seems like they're faking all the time. It makes me uncomfortable. No one is that friendly. There are some EFjs I get along with, but interaction always feels surface level.

The way I've always assumed it to be is that what I interpret as a facade, other people (merry types) see as just refreshing and fun. A break from the dull, monotonous, and serious. No need to be constantly attached to your subjective feelings. (again, more applicable to merry rationals)

[Creepy-male]

Yeah, silliness and fun (or intensity and fun for Betas I guess?)

I don't understand what you mean by "attachment to your subjective feelings" though. The rest of what you wrote rings true.

[Sirena]

People that are constantly going around pointing out every little thing and making a big deal out of it like it's the most special thing in the world, reaaaaaally irritate me. I don't find it fun. It definitely affects my mood, but for the worse.

[redbaron]

I think Fe-egos talk less about I-actually-care-for-you love, or at least I do.

yes. or maybe that's more true about Fe-creatives than Fe-base.

[Creepy-male]

I think that's just a Decisive attitude toward love, closeness, affection, whatever.

[JWC3]

Shrug. Can't you tell the difference between fake "Iloveyou!" love and for serious actually caring about people love? I think Fe-egos talk less about I-actually-care-for-you love, or at least I do.

For the most part I blame language for limiting the expression available. I.E. not having another word for the same 'level' of feeling but not necessarily the same feeling. Because obviously nothing is quiet on par with love.

It's just frustrating when I want to get into a relationship with some one and I realize they are the "Boy who cried wolf" of relationships.

Girl: I love you.
Me: So? You love your boss, your co-workers, every friend you've ever had, waffles, and that hobo outside the coffee shop who sings show tunes (And bright colors if the girl is an Alpha Fe-ego).

EDIT: And no, god dammit, I can't tell the difference. If I could tell the difference I wouldn't have made this thread.

[Creepy-male]

Are you feeling battered and bruised by chain rejections because you misread things? Sucks bro. *bropat*

I guess the best advice I can offer is just listen to your own sense of physical attraction/how attracted they seem to you. Sensers are naturally good at this, I think. Don't bother trying to figure out if they like you or love you or whatever, because, like you've observed in this thread, it's a blind spot for you; and one that's frustrating and a point of pain.

Blind spot... point of pain... Fi PoLR, mirite?

[redbaron]

For the most part I blame language for limiting the expression available. I.E. not having another word for the same 'level' of feeling but not necessarily the same feeling. Because obviously nothing is quiet on par with love.

It's just frustrating when I want to get into a relationship with some one and I realize they are the "Boy who cried wolf" of relationships.

Girl: I love you.
Me: So? You love your boss, your co-workers, every friend you've ever had, waffles, and that hobo outside the coffee shop who sings show tunes (And bright colors if the girl is an Alpha Fe-ego).

EDIT: And no, god dammit, I can't tell the difference. If I could tell the difference I wouldn't have made this thread.

Fi polr. But I think that's why most IEIs (well, myself included) don't say "I love you" all that much when they're really serious. Because... they're just words. there are better ways to express yourself.

[Creepy-male]

Total derail, but what is the IEI way of expressing sentimental/intimate/"deep" things like that? I know I emphasise things with touch a lot more, but that's pretty Si

[silverchris9]

For the most part I blame language for limiting the expression available. I.E. not having another word for the same 'level' of feeling but not necessarily the same feeling. Because obviously nothing is quiet on par with love.

Yeah. It would be better if we spoke Greek. I don't know, maybe it would help if you focused less on the words? But I know, what other tangible expression of love can you get.

Often IEIs (and EIEs) will have a decent variety of verbal resources, so if they're really into you, they should be able to come up with another phrase. Or at least say it with a more special inflection or something.

It's just frustrating when I want to get into a relationship with some one and I realize they are the "Boy who cried wolf" of relationships.

Girl: I love you.
Me: So? You love your boss, your co-workers, every friend you've ever had, waffles, and that hobo outside the coffee shop who sings show tunes (And bright colors if the girl is an Alpha Fe-ego).

If there's a hobo outside your coffee shop that sings show tunes, you can hardly blame this girl for being in love with him. But yes, I can imagine how that would suck. How do you tell the difference between an interest worth pursuing that could ultimately go somewhere, do something, be positive, etc., and something that only looks like one. "boy who cried wolf" of relationships, lol.

EDIT: And no, god dammit, I can't tell the difference. If I could tell the difference I wouldn't have made this thread.

Good point. Anyway, if she's IEI and she's into you, she's probably going to look at and for you in a way where she half doesn't want you to notice and half does. I'm pretty sure that's a common IEI female trait. She'll probably (probably) become less effusive and more avoidant/internal. Fe-leadings not so much.

By noticing the sensitivity of the SLE. Most people think SLEs are not sensitive, when in reality they are hyper-sensitive. IEIs notice it and know how to react around it, without activating the SLE's defenses. They even point it out at times, in non-threatening ways, so that it's not so scary for the SLE and so that the SLE can understand their sensitivity better.

Ni + Fe "touches" on the inside.
Si + Fe touches on the outside.

+15. I don't think SLEs tend to notice us doing this.

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[MatthewZ]

Exactly. IMO that's applicable exclusively to Fe Rationals.

That's the best kind of .

[krieger]

Lurve is overrated. Give me nuclear powered FEEEEEE any day of the week.

[ArchonAlarion]

human language intoxicates the deepness of the soul to a mere drunken slur, leaving but an inebriated view of the tips of icebergs.

coffee time for me.

Haha *pats INFp's head*

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[crazedrat]

The situation surrounding the persons expression of love should make it pretty obvious to you the level of love there really is. Maybe you're just profoundly bad at reading those sorts of things.

[krieger]

Lol! That's the crudest kind of Fe. Fe-Creative is refined, sublime. Pour les connoisseurs

I actually agree with this and have explained the difference in these exact terms previously. Again you express a view that coincides one on one with my interpretation of Base/Creating.

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[chip]

actually I can relate to what he is saying about Fe types, especially women. Male Fe do not express love in the same way - that would kind of werid me out. Point in case: check out a female Fe types facebook profile and its saturated with mushy love lyrics and idealic romanitic quoates from movies, etc. As if that isn't annoying enough they continually post up on their status with yet another heart wrenching, bleeding heart, fated to be , love line - so repulsive. The absolute worst is if you happen to develop romantic feelings for one of these overly effusive women who wear their hearts on their sleeve - run as fast as you can. all that mushy stuff from the heart will fuck with your head.

[krieger]

Actually it corresponds with mine: Creative Fe is radical and restrictive.

Please, spare me these silly chicken-egg accusation games. Is it so hard for you to admit you agree with me on something?

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[krieger]

The discussion in that link is not in any way related to the topic we were discussing here. I don't understand why you maintain these stubborn hostilities when for once there seems to be a basis for fruitful communication between us on account of how we explain an important part of the theory in roughly the same way.

[Satan]

actually I can relate to what he is saying about Fe types, especially women. Male Fe do not express love in the same way - that would kind of werid me out. Point in case: check out a female Fe types facebook profile and its saturated with mushy love lyrics and idealic romanitic quoates from movies, etc. As if that isn't annoying enough they continually post up on their status with yet another heart wrenching, bleeding heart, fated to be , love line - so repulsive. The absolute worst is if you happen to develop romantic feelings for one of these overly effusive women who wear their hearts on their sleeve - run as fast as you can. all that mushy stuff from the heart will fuck with your head.

that's only the ones that got lost in dreams of fairy book love and didn't come out.. they're treating it like a journal... women don't have enough close intimate connections with other women in this modern age. and thus it spits out for all to see.

[Satan]

The discussion in that link is not in any way related to the topic we were discussing here. I don't understand why you maintain these stubborn hostilities when for once there seems to be a basis for fruitful communication between us on account of how we explain an important part of the theory in roughly the same way.

you talk a lot without saying anything.

[Satan]

Ad-hominem.
No it's not. You're simply wrong, I explained you in detailed still you don't understand.

Try breaking it up into bullet points? Whenever people try to understand and overanalyse things they reduce comprehension.

[JWC3]

actually I can relate to what he is saying about Fe types, especially women. Male Fe do not express love in the same way - that would kind of werid me out. Point in case: check out a female Fe types facebook profile and its saturated with mushy love lyrics and idealic romanitic quoates from movies, etc. As if that isn't annoying enough they continually post up on their status with yet another heart wrenching, bleeding heart, fated to be , love line - so repulsive. The absolute worst is if you happen to develop romantic feelings for one of these overly effusive women who wear their hearts on their sleeve - run as fast as you can. all that mushy stuff from the heart will fuck with your head.

My attitude isn't so much of I should GTFO as it is that dealing with those kinds of girls is something I don't know how to do yet so every encounter with them is a learning process and this thread is more me venting my own frustration at my own in-ability to get it right than actually being upset with them. Despite the fact that it is very accusatory.

[JWC3]

that's only the ones that got lost in dreams of fairy book love and didn't come out.. they're treating it like a journal... women don't have enough close intimate connections with other women in this modern age. and thus it spits out for all to see.

Could be right. I definitely have a lot more urges to vomit my feelings all over people during the summer when I'm not around my friends.

[Satan]

Could be right. I definitely have a lot more urges to vomit my feelings all over people during the summer when I'm not around my friends.

if you were a woman i'd suggest you try therapy. nah jk. . i thikn i vomit my feelings sometimes too..

what really encourages it i think is no-one /really/ listening. if someone /really/ listens then you won't feel such a need for other people to "hear".

and so it's like when relationships are in that point where one person feels the other is not listening they can spew more.

[Satan]

My attitude isn't so much of I should GTFO as it is that dealing with those kinds of girls is something I don't know how to do yet so every encounter with them is a learning process and this thread is more me venting my own frustration at my own in-ability to get it right than actually being upset with them. Despite the fact that it is very accusatory.

maybe you're getting too much of your ego involved... let go a bit more of expecting things one way or another and take things as they come... everything will work out .. there's always a way...