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Thread: What do you HATE about your conflictor?

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    Default What do you HATE about your conflictor?

    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    That they're so easy to mistake for my dual at a distance?



    LII-Ne

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    The PoLR hits.
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    conflictors conflict teehee
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

    http://forum.socionix.com/
    It's pretty cool

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    The way they care about practical details that are superhumanly unimportant and boring. Boring more than anything. It's like, really, you think so little of my time that you want me to spend it paying attention to this? Not everything needs to be efficient-ifized! Some things you can just make them work, and if they're not working optimally, well, good, because that's a bunch of time you just succeeded in not wasting.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

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    They strike me as overly manipulative sex-crazed maniacs who you can't reason with.
    LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP



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    That they enjoy me and are annoying about it, and talk to me in the most rudely expressive way with no respect for privacy in interaction. They feed me emotions and expect me to react. Anyway, some ESEs aren't that bad, but the level of expression and lack of interest in my real mood always seems to have a negative tole. They also tend to ask too many questions and talk too much. At least SEEs are more random and internally-lead with their emotions, and not so direct and forcefully piercing with their communication, even though I'm sure they're never as annoying.

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    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    The way they care about practical details that are superhumanly unimportant and boring. Boring more than anything. It's like, really, you think so little of my time that you want me to spend it paying attention to this? Not everything needs to be efficient-ifized! Something you can just make them work, and if they're not working optimally, well, good, because that's a bunch of time you just succeeded in not wasting.
    This post sounds really Te...

    Anyway, I don't hate anything about my conflictor. I'd sooner have them as my dual, should I not already have one...

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    Quote Originally Posted by warrior-librarian View Post
    ...who you can't reason with.
    Very characteristic, very important.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Existential Potato View Post
    This post sounds really Te...

    Anyway, I don't hate anything about my conflictor. I'd sooner have them as my dual, should I not already have one...
    Oh. I was complaining about Te.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    The way they care about practical details that are superhumanly unimportant and boring. Boring more than anything. It's like, really, you think so little of my time that you want me to spend it paying attention to this? Not everything needs to be efficient-ifized! Some things you can just make them work, and if they're not working optimally, well, good, because that's a bunch of time you just succeeded in not wasting.
    Interesting. The fact that MY conflictor DOESN'T care about that is what I hate!
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brilliand View Post
    That they're so easy to mistake for my dual at a distance?
    I second this as well.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    That they make me feel guilty for being me.
    Easy Day

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    They are treacherously attractive.
    ILI (FINAL ANSWER)

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    At least some of them always have to communicate, no matter how repetitive, irrelevant or otherwise useless it is, tend to take everything personally and have little to no concept of privacy, bringing up issues in public or making you regret ever letting them know, especially when they broadcast to all friends/family/acquaintances etc. Also, they're pushy in a nagging way, resulting in circular conversations, which they're incapable of ending, coming back to the topic in more and more annoying ways (like going within five minutes from "I think you should do X" to "I really can't understand how you haven't done it yet, it's always like that with you, blah blah blah...", even if you agree with them the first time!). Oh, and claiming things are *always* like this or that, even if they can't bring up a single instance when it was so and not the opposite.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aiss View Post
    At least some of them always have to communicate, no matter how repetitive, irrelevant or otherwise useless it is, tend to take everything personally and have little to no concept of privacy, bringing up issues in public or making you regret ever letting them know, especially when they broadcast to all friends/family/acquaintances etc. Also, they're pushy in a nagging way, resulting in circular conversations, which they're incapable of ending, coming back to the topic in more and more annoying ways (like going within five minutes from "I think you should do X" to "I really can't understand how you haven't done it yet, it's always like that with you, blah blah blah...", even if you agree with them the first time!). Oh, and claiming things are *always* like this or that, even if they can't bring up a single instance when it was so and not the opposite.
    Ughh, yeah exactly. They still do make me feel like I have an unfortunate weakness though, looking back on it now, but one that I can't really understand. However they really just don't seem to have any respect for accuracy, relevance, or actually thinking deeply enough to understand the context, and what is wrong with their words. They can be pretty witty though, but it seems like its about more every day things. They're too "all over everything" and all over me, sizing me up with their words, telling me what I am.

    I think of female ESEs I've been acquainted with as essentially bitches who need to shut up. Males it's just as bad, but more relateable still because we're still guys, you know. Not a pretty sight nonetheless.

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    I don't believe I've had much close interaction with conflictors, but I can take a shot.

    They take a hard-line approach to power structure. Cannot grasp the notion that someone with more experience can be incorrect when debating someone with less experience. Expectations of adhering to social norms, that arbitrary rules of "respect" should be upheld and that everyone should honor those with established positions in the social hierarchy. Belief that asking a question about something they say is an attempt to undermine them as a person. Completely unforgiving when a person accidentally forgets a minor obligation and has no problem making a scene out of it to shame the person. Assumption that people are incompetent until educated otherwise. Highly territorial. Makes clear attempts to distance outsiders from the "in" crowd. Touchy about giving second chances, but will gladly give them when they are certain the other person will fail again. Has no problem expressing that they have been offended.

    Yes, I'm ranting about one person.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MatthewZ View Post
    Belief that asking a question about something they say is an attempt to undermine them as a person.
    I could say the same about ~90% of Ti valuers I've met .

    Yes, I'm ranting about one person.
    You're not alone in this thread, lol.

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    They misinterpret just about everything about me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shakealittle View Post
    They misinterpret just about everything about me.

    They also get noisy when with friends. I don't like noise.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    Oh. I was complaining about Te.
    Yeah.

    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Interesting. The fact that MY conflictor DOESN'T care about that is what I hate!
    Oh really? Because the person in that post is an obnoxious enforcer who doesn't even do his job right (efficiency) because he actually wastes time rather than save it in the first place.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aiss View Post
    At least some of them always have to communicate, no matter how repetitive, irrelevant or otherwise useless it is, tend to take everything personally and have little to no concept of privacy, bringing up issues in public or making you regret ever letting them know, especially when they broadcast to all friends/family/acquaintances etc. Also, they're pushy in a nagging way, resulting in circular conversations, which they're incapable of ending, coming back to the topic in more and more annoying ways (like going within five minutes from "I think you should do X" to "I really can't understand how you haven't done it yet, it's always like that with you, blah blah blah...", even if you agree with them the first time!). Oh, and claiming things are *always* like this or that, even if they can't bring up a single instance when it was so and not the opposite.
    Quote Originally Posted by polikujm
    Ughh, yeah exactly. They still do make me feel like I have an unfortunate weakness though, looking back on it now, but one that I can't really understand. However they really just don't seem to have any respect for accuracy, relevance, or actually thinking deeply enough to understand the context, and what is wrong with their words. They can be pretty witty though, but it seems like its about more every day things. They're too "all over everything" and all over me, sizing me up with their words, telling me what I am.

    I think of female ESEs I've been acquainted with as essentially bitches who need to shut up. Males it's just as bad, but more relateable still because we're still guys, you know. Not a pretty sight nonetheless.
    ...
    SEEs are just as logically inconsistent in conversation as ESEs. The descriptions are constantly propelling the theme of inconsistency, especially so with a type who has Ti POLR. If anything, lack of regard for specific words said and a circular motion of argument are more indicative of a lack of Ti in ego or HA.

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    I was speaking about Ni-PoLR. I think Ti-PoLR mostly is represented by their chaotic and irrational behavior, ignoring plans and procedures (which could be a lack of following directions or not answering the real question), not learning things correctly, being somewhat irresponsible for their actions, while still having a respect for deep Ni ideas, accepting what I have to say after I've reflected on it for a while, without manipulating it or playing games with me, understanding the context better (which is probably just my opinion, subjectively put, now that I think about it), and at least those external demands never weigh too personally because of Fi. I like that they're accepting, and they don't try to "prove it" or whatever. They're not really the thinking type of people and they do sort of ignore some questions directly and would rather go on "how they feel", but they usually have a respect for accuracy and relevance quite naturally about realistic things because of Te HA, and they mean well to eventually get to the point. At least the SEEs I know. Which seems pretty ok from a patient Ni + Te perspective.

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    I'm sure not all of them are this way, but the ones I've known have seemed to lack a basic respect for other human beings.

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    (ISFj)
    How they tend to weave negative motives in anything that is outside of their traditionalist viewpoint and then hit the Fi-PoLR, making you feel like a bad person unless you submit to a dreary world of boring conservative traditionalist ways (ie not getting to exercise Ne because it hits there PoLR).

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    If my conflictor is ENFp: They are disorderly, hypocritical, and constantly contradict themselves without being even remotely aware of it. Their arguments often consist of isolated anecdotal evidence that completely ignores the big picture or the underlying principles of the topic.

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    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe View Post
    If my conflictor is ENFp: They are disorderly, hypocritical, and constantly contradict themselves without being even remotely aware of it. Their arguments often consist of isolated anecdotal evidence that completely ignores the big picture or the underlying principles of the topic.
    ENFp are not like that at all. Ne allows them to lock into one train of thought that is important and when they get tired of it, they move on to the next interesting idea, but they collect all trains of thought on one thing until they have made up their mind and are satisfied with their knowledge.

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    1) Their need to be perfect and blame others for their mistakes as a result.
    2) Their smug smiles if they get one over on someone
    3) They shit stir and like to try and play people off each other.

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    What I hate about my conflictors are:

    1. They are not warm towards people even when they have enough evidence to show that they should be hence they concentrate too much on others inability.
    2. They judge people without objectivity. They have difficulties in seeing real potential in people. This is Fi PoLR because Fi Dual Seekers, like my dual will judge, but often listen and admire the information about the potential that I observe in others.
    3. Sometimes they openly show impatience to others weaknesses.
    4. One SLE I dated, did not want to contribute to the wellbeing of others with the extra money he made.
    5. Need to see my external emotions in order to know that I am sad about things....can't sense te inner sadness well. Doesn't ask regularly to find out like my duals, who often ask "how are you today"
    6. They are not Si focused, so they don't take the time to take care of me and our home/relationship, making things relaxing and pleasant, like my dual would.

    These are all Fi related things. Fi, that is all about issues outside of my own self, concentrating on others.

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    INFP? I hate the whole way they think and act, they need demonstrations of constant force and an almost psychopathic cleverness to feel they are not in the company of someone very dumb and they take me for infantile or what not maybe even gay just because I don´t grab them and beat them.

    edit: after they see me pissed off really, they kind of change their attitude to me, and kind of respect me and see me as a beta they´d probably like to be beaten by while savagely fucked in the back.

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    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe View Post
    If my conflictor is ENFp: They are disorderly, hypocritical, and constantly contradict themselves without being even remotely aware of it. Their arguments often consist of isolated anecdotal evidence that completely ignores the big picture or the underlying principles of the topic.
    Yeah; that's annoying. It's worse 'cause they're extroverted feelers, which is the most talkative combination, so they have more chances to contradict themselves.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    The one SLE I know is whiny, overly dramatic, intensely "in the moment", not emotionally complex, and obsessed about everything having to do with himself and his problems.

    *huff* *huff*

    I would be happy to meet a mature SLE so I wouldn't cringe everytime that type is brought up.

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    Some of these posts are hilarious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by warrior-librarian View Post
    They strike me as overly manipulative sex-crazed maniacs who you can't reason with.
    LOL

    mine strike me as negative picayune detectives that will try to bully a confession out of you when you haven't done anything wrong and regardless of the contrary evidence.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe View Post
    If my conflictor is ENFp: They are disorderly, hypocritical, and constantly contradict themselves without being even remotely aware of it. Their arguments often consist of isolated anecdotal evidence that completely ignores the big picture or the underlying principles of the topic.
    It's been said before on this site, but I'll repeat it again: how many LSIs respectively IEEs are there in prison?

    And we don't ignore the big picture, we just have another one, one that typically is incomprehensible because LSIs typically can't think outside the box they are in. So your complaints about IEEs actually says more about you than about them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    It's been said before on this site, but I'll repeat it again: how many LSIs respectively IEEs are there in prison?
    This is misleading, as there is probably more of every senser in prison than IEEs.

    And we don't ignore the big picture, we just have another one, one that typically is incomprehensible because LSIs typically can't think outside the box they are in. So your complaints about IEEs actually says more about you than about them.
    Nothing IEEs say is incomprehensible to me, it's just so chaotically flawed that it usually feels like it's not even worth trying to correct. IEEs can certainly be smart, and there are plenty of IEEs I agree with on various issues, but when I encounter one who starts spouting economic fallacies, for example, I just groan and roll my eyes.

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    Well, I was married to my ESTJ conflictor for almost 10 years. He has many fine qualities, but what I hated?

    * never feeling like I measured up to his expectations
    * his tendency to play "Mr. Nice Guy" even if he's being cold and even cruel
    * his need to control everything and never deviate from a plan
    * unilateral decision making
    * inability to see the long-range consequences of actions and choices
    * supporting me in theory but not in practice
    * extreme personal conservatism
    * routines!!!!!!!
    * shutdown when crisis hits

    If there were a thread that asked, what do you LIKE about your conflictor:

    * optimistic can-do attitude
    * motivated toward activities
    * thoughtful
    * never embarrassed me in public
    * good parent overall
    * problem solver
    * unflappable
    * very intelligent
    * great sense of humor

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenwings View Post
    If there were a thread that asked, what do you LIKE about your conflictor:
    I think we had one of those a while back.

    Ahh yes... http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...onflictor.html

    Quote Originally Posted by Goldenwings View Post
    * shutdown when crisis hits

    ...

    * unflappable
    Huh?



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    Quote Originally Posted by Brilliand View Post
    Huh?
    She means unable to cope with a suddenly changed schedule and stubbornness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

  39. #39
    2 EVIL I golden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    She means unable to cope with a suddenly changed schedule and stubbornness.
    Yes, sort of. This is just my ESTJ ex I'm thinking of, because I know him very well.

    Let's say a straightforward work crisis hits (the organization loses 15 percent of its state funding) or someone gets hurt--no problem. In such situations he can mobilize with high efficiency. See, he would not even define such a thing as a crisis for himself. It's just a situation that requires concrete action.

    But here I mean by crisis something else--what for him does constitute a crisis. For example:

    (1) He is blocked by others' unexpected resistance or unhappiness when he makes an important decision on their behalf without including them in the decision-making process. He will see this sort of situation in terms of winner and loser, and he wants to win. The unhappy person only wants to have his/her needs or feelings taken into account, but he is unable to see this. This has happened regularly in his workplace.

    (2) He decides to make a major move, such as buying a house or relocating to another town or city, but does not foresee all of the consequences or his timing is off. When all evidence shows that an error has been made and must be addressed (i.e., the shit is hitting the fan), he cannot change course. At least, not without lashing out in some way. A situation like this strikes at his self-concept very hard and he is immobilized.


    As for the question regarding unflappability, my ESTJ ex would be deeply affected by things, but in his work life he has a firm grip on his responses to people. If he had some crazy people in his office raising a ruckus, it would in fact upset him, but it was his duty to behave as if he were not upset. He might need to talk about the situation for an hour or two that evening, to process/discharge, but in the moment he did not rise to whatever bait was on offer. I admired this trait, whether or not it is typical ESTJ. (He is practically textbook ESTJ, though.)

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    I hate - and even that is too strong of a word - individuals and not types. I cannot justly say that I hate SEEs. In fact, there is a great deal that I admire about such individuals. Yet such individuals tend to vex me in predictable patterns, namely when they falsely construe what I say or don't say. Yet I have I have undoubtedly caused vexation to some conflictors when I do not fall prey to their charm or they found that their will could not dominate mine as easily as they had expected. I do not like to be pushed or prodded against my will or treated like a pawn or some other easily discarded object.
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
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