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Thread: Deltas and talking about sex with significant others

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    Default Deltas and talking about sex with significant others

    more directed towards ESTJ's(Ryu ), Delta STs, then Delta NFs by order of importance:

    do you feel that talking about sexual acts you had with a significant other to other people(perhaps a close group of friends) is unacceptable or improper behavior? if you do, which I am assuming is yes, please elaborate on why this is so.
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    Perfection.
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    pirate can you please get out of my quadra
    INTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratXII View Post
    pirate can you please get out of my quadra
    dont speak to me peasant
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    i'll tear down the sky Mattie's Avatar
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    Nope, unless there was explicit mention not to say anything, which is doubtful. I wouldn't see what the big deal is, we all have sex and if you're in a relationship, you're most likely having sex. If it's to close people, I wouldn't mind at all really.

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    more directed towards ESTJ's(Ryu ), Delta STs, then Delta NFs by order of importance:

    do you feel that talking about sexual acts you had with a significant other to other people(perhaps a close group of friends) is unacceptable or improper behavior? if you do, which I am assuming is yes, please elaborate on why this is so.
    I don't have issues with it per se but it would depend why I was doing it.

    I'd find it inappropriate if it was seen as classified information for what ever reason, which is kinda like betraying a confidence just for the sake of it.

    What about you?

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    I think it's improper. It's always sexier when things are kept discrete, and veiled from the public. I feel like it makes the relationship closer and more special.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    I'm the opposite. ;p Being Beta I guess that makes sense. I think public talks about sex , they make me relaxed, less nervous and uneasy- and make me feel like, just more comfortable. Although that isn't to assume that I prefer public displays of affection or obscene behavior publicly. (really I don't understand why people get bent over shape as this as they do, considering it's how they were made. It's like backwards to me...) But when I was younger I was really bothered by this.

    Anyways I had an ENFp therapist that I really liked one time, because I could sense her gentle humanitarian soul but I think I really disagreed with her fundamentally on a lot of principals.

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    I think it's improper. It's always sexier when things are kept discrete, and veiled from the public. I feel like it makes the relationship closer and more special.
    I agree with this. What I was thinking was if for instance there was advice being seeked for medical reasons, or one of your friends was asking for advice on anything like pre-mature ejaculation for instance, ok I know its far fetched but like not everyone wants to talk to a doctor so the discussion is done to help, not to brag or betray etc.

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    Not a Delta, but I think it's simply an issue of respecting the other person's privacy, not to mention one's own. Obviously there are exceptions like Cyclops mentioned, but I'd hate for it to be anything less than confidential, which includes not talking to people who may broadcast it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    more directed towards ESTJ's(Ryu ), Delta STs, then Delta NFs by order of importance:

    do you feel that talking about sexual acts you had with a significant other to other people(perhaps a close group of friends) is unacceptable or improper behavior? if you do, which I am assuming is yes, please elaborate on why this is so.
    Depends

    Why do you assume yes?

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    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    I agree with this. What I was thinking was if for instance there was advice being seeked for medical reasons, or one of your friends was asking for advice on anything like pre-mature ejaculation for instance, ok I know its far fetched but like not everyone wants to talk to a doctor so the discussion is done to help, not to brag or betray etc.
    well sure, i would even feel flattered if a friend came to me to confide in such things, and I would try to give advice without any judgement. I get the feeling the betas are asking about casual chatting about sex. But the way you interpreted the question is really interesting. Practical, practical!!
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    I don't have issues with it per se but it would depend why I was doing it.

    I'd find it inappropriate if it was seen as classified information for what ever reason, which is kinda like betraying a confidence just for the sake of it.

    What about you?
    I feel like its okay to talk about with a trusted close circle and only if your partner is okay with it too. Who I'm sharing it to is important - people who I know will not talk about it with others, will not disrespect her, etc. A very select few. But even then, there is a limit - I wont go into too much detail as I do agree that after a certain point there's a possibility for the intimacy of it all to be lessened.

    If people are curious if you have done x, what x feels like, I feel okay answering. If people are curious about if x girl was 'good in the sack', I try to keep it as vague and respectful as possible - although I have only ever talked about my past sexual relationships - not my current ones as I feel its a bit different? perhaps maybe because there's no Fi bond, so its more of an memory that your sharing as opposed to some more intimate; although I suppose that would vary based on how close the memory was to said person?

    In general I do think sharing those kinds of things can be informative or helpful within certain restraints, and definitely don't discourage it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    Depends

    Why do you assume yes?
    you remind me of this ESTj I know, and he and other ESTjs have always seemed(and are from my observations) very conservative about this area. so I suppose I'm looking for the whys as I do feel that its an interesting and oppositional outlook in comparison to how I see things, but also very relate-able.
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    Quote Originally Posted by look.to.the.sky View Post
    Nope, unless there was explicit mention not to say anything, which is doubtful. I wouldn't see what the big deal is, we all have sex and if you're in a relationship, you're most likely having sex. If it's to close people, I wouldn't mind at all really.
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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    more directed towards ESTJ's(Ryu ), Delta STs, then Delta NFs by order of importance:

    do you feel that talking about sexual acts you had with a significant other to other people(perhaps a close group of friends) is unacceptable or improper behavior? if you do, which I am assuming is yes, please elaborate on why this is so.
    Sex is tabooish for me, so yes.
    Augusta observed that with N types, often sex and Si stuff is taboo; she wrote that in her literature and it's true in my case

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    Quote Originally Posted by look.to.the.sky View Post
    Nope, unless there was explicit mention not to say anything, which is doubtful. I wouldn't see what the big deal is, we all have sex and if you're in a relationship, you're most likely having sex. If it's to close people, I wouldn't mind at all really.
    Yep.
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    I give it a

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratXII View Post
    pirate can you please get out of my quadra
    He will when he finds his type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    I feel like its okay to talk about with a trusted close circle and only if your partner is okay with it too. Who I'm sharing it to is important - people who I know will not talk about it with others, will not disrespect her, etc. A very select few. But even then, there is a limit - I wont go into too much detail as I do agree that after a certain point there's a possibility for the intimacy of it all to be lessened.

    If people are curious if you have done x, what x feels like, I feel okay answering. If people are curious about if x girl was 'good in the sack', I try to keep it as vague and respectful as possible - although I have only ever talked about my past sexual relationships - not my current ones as I feel its a bit different? perhaps maybe because there's no Fi bond, so its more of an memory that your sharing as opposed to some more intimate; although I suppose that would vary based on how close the memory was to said person?

    In general I do think sharing those kinds of things can be informative or helpful within certain restraints, and definitely don't discourage it.
    I don't see anything wrong with that.

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    mhm

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    He will when he finds his type.
    last I checked you agreed I was IEI
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    I pretty much agree with everyone: as long as you're not violating someone else's privacy and sharing really intimate details then it's perfectly fine.
    Stan is not my real name.

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    Quote Originally Posted by stanprollyright View Post
    I pretty much agree with everyone: as long as you're not violating someone else's privacy and sharing really intimate details then it's perfectly fine.
    This is generally the sentiment most people hold, despite type. This topic isn't quadra/type related, just more perpetuation of stereotypes. As the OP insinuates, stereotypes on this board predict that Deltas will be conservative and not want to talk about sex because that somehow seems "immoral" or "improper," and Betas like talking about it because it's "crude" and "controversial." Overall, things similar to the topic at hand aren't type relevant, but personally so. There might be a type related reason on WHY you feel comfortable/uncomfortable discussing sex (so, a Beta reason for feeling like talking about sex is inappropriate and Delta reasoning for talking about sex openly as appropriate as well), but your type doesn't have a casual link to behaviors/opinions like this (meaning type isn't how you have the behavior, it just might bring perspective on why you have it).

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    Of course it's inappropriote! So is public emotion. It's very rude to make people put up with that sort of thing when they didn't ask for it.

    What's with the IEIs in the Delta quadra?

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratXII View Post
    pirate can you please get out of my quadra
    you don't own any quadra.
    Sincerely Yours,

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    He will when he finds his type.
    you are enfj. not a typical one tho.
    Sincerely Yours,

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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    last I checked you agreed I was IEI
    do you want to be?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    do you want to be?
    I don't know, honestly

    mixed feelings

    right now I'm on the slightly no side

    they change weekly(sometimes daily)
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

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    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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