Sharing my Dual experience
For keeping his name private, I'm going to call my dual friend Alex.
Alex's type is ESTj
My Type is in my sig
Tom's type is not important
Alex's response to my suggestions are in [Brackets]
My friend, Alex, has been a little uncertain about future plans and treated me out to a wonderful lunch to discuss his uncertainty about starting a possible long term business venture with his friend Tom. I have met Tom before and got a chance to size him up on many levels. Although Alex and Tom have been good friends, there were some uncertainty about how they would fair together as business partners and Alex wanted my input and insight; Alex likes feeding me for free advice and I don't mind him doing that.
Alex started to tell me his thought about going into business with Tom. He asked me what my thoughts were on that situation. I played out a few possible scenarios (from my Fi -feelings and Ne -possibilities) that I thought would result based on the feelings I got from Tom. I listed my possible scenarios like this:
1.I feel that Tom doesn't have the kind of energy and drive that you do so I feel that he is a bit lazier and might slack off and that might frustrate you because you might be doing a lot of work, but that isn't a problem for you because you can exert a lot of energy and cover for his slack. [He doesn't work as fast and as well as I do, he's kinda slow, so I can see that]
2.So I see how you can easily over work yourself. He won't mind you working so much because the material rewards will be too tempting for him, further driving him to push you to work longer hours. [huh]
3.I feel that sometimes Tom won't be able to carry out your fruition the way you expect him to, instead getting very emotional at you for trying to tell him what to do. [Yeah, I told him last week he was getting fat and that he needed to work out and he blew up on my face, calling me nonsupporting when I was only trying to be real and rational. I would appreciate it if someone gave me input like that; I don't know why he got emotion, but I see that happening with him a lot.]
4.With the emotional regard, he will be slow and emotionally hold on to things. You might need a buffer person to appeal to his emotions and yet be able to keep your head on and not loose your temper when working with him. [I can see you doing that]
5.I feel that, because of his personality, that Tom will never be fully satisfied for his compensation, feeling short handed and pressuring you emotionally to get a fairer deal or cut on his work and efforts. [That might be a possibility, but the I can see myself being very tough. I don't think he's the kind of person who will get physical with me.] No, I don't think he's prone to violence. But, you'd have to leave room and option to back out of a partnership if you see that you can't deal with him any more.
These were just the top three things we discussed, that I thought were important to mention here. I like Te because it does not necessarily need that empirical information that Se needs in order to gather and trust information, store and shift knowledge, collect it and to concentrate on work (employing my suggestions into efficiency, economy, giving the info that I offer into workable-logical soundness, productivity, sustainability and put a realistic perspective on mobilizing resources and gear this information towards action. ESTj's have this trust tendency, I feel that ENTj's may need Se perspective before acting on something, that is having a reliable concrete source .
I felt really important and valued because my perception of inner processes of Tom's feelings/mood/disposition tied him into a scenario of what actions can be expected from a business venture with this person. I was not ignored, the information that I provided was not suitable to , but it was not discounted or seen as trivial and unimportant. I'm always happy when I don't have to use moods/sudden emotional arguments to get attention to my beliefs/insights.
Alex walked away with knowing what could go well and not and he used his logic to figure out what he could handle and not. Essentially, although my information was not based on any concrete evidence about Tom (as in Tom taking a psychological test that would determine that he was not emotionally suited for a partnership), Alex was open and receptive to my less-then-concrete information, because that is what separates Deltas from Gammas and that is what makes this awesome guy my dual.
Alex seemed to like how I connected his feelings of uncertainty about the venture with Tom to possible outcomes; these possible outcomes geared him to determine if he could work with these situations or not; I got a good perspective on what I was offering that was so needed by my dual and so important for him; I was offering myself, an ear, to be there for him, someone he could trust with not only emotional information but also logical. I provide moral support, a warm, calm, steady, environment for Alex to pour his uncertainties out, for exchange, he feeds me. That's good for me.