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Thread: Mirror Relations

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    Default Mirror Relations

    Please tell me about mirror relations

    I have finally met an ENFj (confirmed by , implied, and other people on the chat but I can't remember who exactly) and I morally object to pretty much everything he says. Is this likely to happen with other ENFjs (assuming I am INFp)?

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    Joy's Avatar
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    My boss is quite ESFj. I "get" him, but am not all that similar to him.

    Your situation may be the result of differences in environment.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    IEI subtype

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    Thanks, vague - it appears I'm not alone!

    The ENFj I have met has compared himself to Christ (and as humour is lost on him, he is likely at least partly serious). He takes himself extremely seriously (which also bothers me).

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    I find it extremely easy to talk to INTps about almost anything.

    The main point of friction is their irrationality in the sense of being very (to me, too much so) easygoing about following plans, keeping appointments, keeping in touch, etc. I have learned that with INTps usually I'm the one who has to take the initiative.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    I find it extremely easy to talk to INTps about almost anything.

    The main point of friction is their irrationality in the sense of being very (to me, too much so) easygoing about following plans, keeping appointments, keeping in touch, etc. I have learned that with INTps usually I'm the one who has to take the initiative.
    I totally know what you mean. Although there are at least two aspects:
    1) With conversation, obligations, etc, I'm more likely to take initiative. He could just sit there and be quiet, if I wouldn't turn towards him about twice an hour. "Honey, did you know that mushrooms are genetically closer to animals than plants! Fascinating, isn't it. What do you think?" Usually he has no opinion. And this is also important. INTps just don't have any opinion about most things.
    2) With impulsive things, he initiates. I have a plan, he might act impulsively.

    I get along with INTps very well. There are some things that could be better, like for example small talk. If there is no small talk between us, then we can only talk about important things. But since we live together, it's difficult to find meaningful subjects often enough.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

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    i think smiling eyes had something with the "russian arms factory" analogy. i have experienced mirror relations that were highly productive. if both partners respect each other that is. i have met entp's that i blew off because their ideas had no relevance. they didnt see the big picture. and i have found that entp's sometimes disreguard details that have major influence on the big picture. i guess it all depends on how much time you are willing to give to listening. can't say much about a romantic involvment however.
    LII
    that is what i was getting at. if there is an inescapable appropriation that is required in the act of understanding, this brings into question the validity of socionics in describing what is real, and hence stubborn contradictions that continue to plague me.

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    Some further thoughts on mirror relations --

    I think mirrors feel attracted to each other in a first moment - like "this person shares many of my interests and ways of thinking, yet in different and interesting ways" - and will always feel reasonably comfortable, but a level of misunderstanding and incomprehension will remain that will not be bridged.

    My parents were mirrors - ISFp father, ESFj mother - and they always continued bickering about the same kind of differences.

    Two guys at work are ISFp and ESFj, and they get along very well and spend most of the time together - but I don't think it's any deep.

    A friend of mine is INFj, he shares an apartment with an ENFp guy and just got engaged to an ENFp girl. He and the ENFp guy get along fine but I think they reached a dead-end in the sense that the relationship can't get any deeper.

    From my experience with two INTp girls and one INTp guy - and also what I observed in my parents - I think this is what happens. You find the other person interesting, you always get along well, but the relationship reaches a dead-end, a point where a degree of mutual incomprehension remains. If you can leave with that, it's fine.

    For romantic relationships, the problem is that mirrors belong to the same sexual quadra.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Please tell me about mirror relations Smile

    I have finally met an ENFj (confirmed by e, implied, and other people on the chat but I can't remember who exactly) and I morally object to pretty much everything he says. Is this likely to happen with other ENFjs (assuming I am INFp)?
    My sister and I are mirrors (ENFp/INFj). We hang out a lot but we do get into the same few arguments over and over again. We have differences but it isn't any big deal as far as a relationship between sisters goes.

    We've gone on a few trips together and we always fight on road trips. She always wants to go to the same place, and when we get there we always have to do exactly the same things we've done before, and eat in the exact same restaurants, etc. She even makes the exact same jokes. She's also hypersensitive and I'm sometimes suprised by how little it takes to offend her - like if I don't laugh at a joke I've heard from her 30 times already.

    But so long as we aren't spending 6 hours in a car together we're fine.

    I don't think we have any major moral issues - but she's the religious one and I'm not religious so maybe she morally objects to everything I say.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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