Why is it that it's so tough for IEI's to do what they know they have to? Sometimes even my dual can't motivate me enough to act. Help.
IEIs/INFps avoiding responsibility
Why is it that it's so tough for IEI's to do what they know they have to? Sometimes even my dual can't motivate me enough to act. Help.
It's the world that's the problem not you.lol you just need an external responsibility that fits your inner world. *especially* as an IEI.
I'd try being a writer. We're all meant to help the world in different ways. The 9 to 5 life isn't for everybody. You can be responsible in your own way.
Get paid for what you love otherwise what's the point?
I agree completely with you BulletsAndDoves but there are things that can't be avoided without severe consequences. Even knowing the repercussions, I don't act. I love to write btw.
I have tried a ton of things for this.
1: taking drugs - this works except now you have another problem. I did this in highschool mainly, but I've been considering trying it again
2: Visualizing yourself actually doing the thing - this can help snap me out of a daze of laziness
3: realize that work leads to happiness. This is like.. looking far ahead and having a desire to get there.
4: Having a girlfriend - this is by far the most effective.
Because you're thinkign you "have" to do it rather than just doing it and getting it out of the way and not htinking about it.
I just wanted to say I'm the same re not doing what I have to and loving to write. Except I don't even have a dual. I usually blame.
Guilt-tripping an SLE into doing the work for you is how plenty of IEIs handle it.
Unless I'm an IEI, I don't think this is an IEI problem. I think it's a symptom of IP Syndrome
Also +1 to having a girlfriend. Most problems in life are solved by this, true story.
+2 for having a girlfriend. I could probably start to decipher why that alone motivates me to do many things that have nothing to do with the relationship even when she's not around but maybe some other time.
If somebody really loves you they'll want to do favors for you that cover up your weaknesses. That's the whole point of duality and relationships. And they'll just do it because it's what they want to do (it won't be a co-dependent thing in other words, they'll be acting out in their own best interest) and then you can do what you really want. that's why I think you always need to be honest with people in relationships about who you are and what you're looking for.
And I also like what Merky says too. You're making this a bigger deal than it really is by thinking you 'have' to do it instead of just going with the flow and doing it. some people are just more influenced by ideas and not the 'real world.'
A little bit of facing the real world (in your own way) and just giving what other people want as an IEI goes a loooooooooooooooooooooooooong way. Krae and I were talking about this earlier. IEIs have king-like powers and can ascend social hierarchies rather easily. You just have to get over playing the victim and the egoic idea that you're helpless.
King-like powers you say. Tell me more.
I agree with youOriginally Posted by BulletsAndDoves
and your duals always agree with you because every time they want to argue for no reason they can't because they agree with each other's reasoning.
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Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
I argue with my duals all the time. In the end I present my logical argument and they present theirs and the loser submits to the other. Overall you are right but huge conflicts can occur.
Are you sure you are ENTj. They never get off my back about responsibility.
lack of motivation to act comes from a few different places...
1. emotional trap -if you're in a situation, place, or feeling that is causing you to feel hopeless and down, you may feel unmotivated to do something to get out of that situation.
-For this please talk to motivation counselors after you do step 2
2. career -being uncertain of where you are and where you're going.
-For this, figure out what you're supposed to be doing by talking to me, who is a career guidence counselor, or a life coach.
Those would be ESTj's or most S types in general. Trust me, he's ENTj
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Well, I would never go to my conflictor for "guidance". I know where I am and where I am going but the emotional trap thing seems to fit.
*shrug* You just don't know your own strength. Like a lot of INFps you get stuck in victim mode and thinking you're weaker then you really are. It's like soooo easy to play the victim card or 'helpless card.' Like everybody else you just have to go with your strengths man.
The world needs you to be a writer or whatever you're good at. They don't need you to be a pushy extroverted chef or an ESTj-like business administration manager (whatever the fuck gay ass real world titles there are) It just needs you to be more of yourself without you playing the victim over it. Start thinking about the life you really want to lead and how you want to go about doing that. Then stop being so diplomatic and nice to people and thinking you're weak and saying things like 'waaaaah I just can't do it' on internet message boards, holding yourself back.
If you're actually neurotic about having to do basic things like chores (although there's a way even out of that if you're smart enough of course) or take a showers, and do mundane shit- then that's just you whining. That can easily be dropped in favor of just being happy, realizing it's not a big deal and doing it anyway.
(lol I'm feeling very life coachy to my other INFps as of late)
I've had 31.5 years of solving emotional problems...internal emotional problems ()
You're welcome to PM me. I am a very very private person.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
That's such a terrible steryotype...ESTj's are very flexible.
Will you let me do the life coaching...I am the INFj not you.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Sounds like everything I want/need to hear. Thank you friend.
More playing the victim. ENTjs are a non-issue the more you align yourself with who you are and the more you get confident about your own abilities, and what you DO kick ass in instead of what you think you're 'supposed' to kick ass in. The world needs you purified, because we're all interdependent on everybody else's abilities that way.Are you sure you are ENTj. They never get off my back about responsibility.
I'm gonna get on you about this victim thing because that's really the core issue here. You're playing the victim and you can't go anywhere in that state.
I was joking. And lol maritsa. Life coach battle!That's such a terrible steryotype...ESTj's are very flexible.
Will you let me do the life coaching...I am the INFj not you.
No problem. You're okay! There's nothing wrong with you. Just stop thinking there is. ie, 'stop playing the victim.'Sounds like everything I want/need to hear. Thank you friend.
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