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Thread: I've been dating

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    "Information without energy is useless" Nowisthetime's Avatar
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    Default I've been dating

    I was lonely so I made a profile on a dating site. I used a lot of humor spiced with some more serious stuff about myself, but not letting the serous stuff sound too serious. I wrote the text in a light way with flow. A lot of attention to how the words sound. I put in some links to funny music. I tried to make it different from other profiles.

    The first girl who answered was ESTp. We went for a walk and that was it. Decided we should not meet again. And besides, she thought I was way too nice and humble.

    The second girl was INFp. Very charming, interesting, attractive. I felt we had something in common, but I never felt like calling her again. I kind of feel sad about this.

    Then the third girl. We went for a coffee and a walk. It felt really good. I thought there was something close to duality between us but I was not sure. I thought she might be a feeler after all.

    After meeting her again I am sure that she in fact is ILE. On our second date we suddenly seemed too different to be able to connect at all, and she seemed a little skeptical about my ability to seduce her, but after a while we got past that. This is the first time in my life I'm being intimate with a dual. (I have dual friends, though). I can't really compare it to anything. It's like things are taken to another level. I don't know about my emotions for her yet. But it's ridiculous how easy it is to be with her. It's like I have to remind myself, "hey, I can actually be myself here" (whatever that means). Well, let's see what happens.

    Anyway, I'm happy this happened. You guys in this forum encouraged me by sharing your experiences of dual relationships.

    About my dating profile: I've been thinking about how I can attract ILEs on dating sites. I figured that I should mix in some Ne stuff, so that they can identify. (change of perspective, original ideas etc.), and also focus on things we have in common, and then some pure SEI stuff.
    Last edited by Nowisthetime; 06-12-2010 at 08:53 PM.

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    Blaze's Avatar
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    that's so cool!!!!!

    would you post the verbiage of your on line ad? i used socionics to write an ad and i met infpman. so i missed duality but i found illusionary which is pretty good.

    congrats...

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    "Information without energy is useless" Nowisthetime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    that's so cool!!!!!

    would you post the verbiage of your on line ad? i used socionics to write an ad and i met infpman. so i missed duality but i found illusionary which is pretty good.

    congrats...
    Thanks! I would have to translate the ad into English, and I'm not gonna do that word for word, but in short:

    I started off by listing some music tempo terminology in Italian that *could* be interpreted as the progression of a relationship (like accelerando con spirito, subito piano)

    I admitted that I don't speak Italian.

    I proceeded by suggesting some simple things to do on a blind date: going for a walk, throwing frisbee, look at the sea together etc. (I think it is important to mention this in an ad)

    I surprisingly suggested that we could do something boring also, like attending some boring lecture together. (I think many people liked this)

    Then I wrote something about my strengths, and I also mentioned some weaknesses (but I didn't make a big deal about it)

    I wrote something about looks. That it can be important but that chemistry means more. Mentioning that I am not particularly masculine, and that I have official documentation that confirms this (in an obvious ironical way).

    I ended it by saying that I would like to meet someone with whom I can be myself. And suggested that you should contact me if you think we would fit together.

    I put a link to some music that I like.

    End of ad

    I kept it short and tried to make it easy ad pleasant to read. Very informal. Very open-ended style.
    Last edited by Nowisthetime; 06-12-2010 at 08:50 PM.

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    Blaze's Avatar
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    awesome. i bet you will find an entp. you mentioned lectures...i bet this catches ILE interest. plus all that relaxing stuff...let us know how it works out!

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    "Information without energy is useless" Nowisthetime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    awesome. i bet you will find an entp. you mentioned lectures...i bet this catches ILE interest. plus all that relaxing stuff...let us know how it works out!
    yeah, but the lecture was just a joke. I said we should attend a lecture about tax harmonization (sounds boring to me). The ILE girl who answered said that she liked this, and that she was looking forward to a kitsch date. I hadn't made the connection to kitsch when suggesting a boring date, but she did it, which impressed me. I wrote her that I would actually prefer to do something fun with her, if she didn't mind, and she accepted :-)

    I'll let you know, Blaze, how it went.

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    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    I am soooo jealous. xD I support you 100% and I love the thing about not being that masculine and having documentation. That is something I would write/say.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

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    Imagine Timeless's Avatar
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    I like hearing about stuff like this. Major props dude. I'm curious to see how things turn out too if you don't mind.

    By the way, I did the dating profile thing not too long ago, and at first I did the normal thing (I like this, I like that, I'm x, I'm y etc.) but then I realized I should do something different too. Instead of describing myself and all of that usual stuff, all I did was describe the our relationship on a random day. I was sort of trying to let the other person imagine what it'd be like to be together.

    It's about 4 pages long.

    And I only showed it to one person, and coincidentally she said it sounds like an SEI. I took it as a good thing because I wasn't trying to aim for that, so it came naturally.

    Makes me want to put it here, but it's personal because it has some interesting scenes.

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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Naked scenes! :wink:

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    Imagine Timeless's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post
    Naked scenes! :wink:
    That made me smile.


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    Snomunegot munenori2's Avatar
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    Timeless, you are fucking cool as hell. I know these things.

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    "Information without energy is useless" Nowisthetime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamajama View Post
    I am soooo jealous. xD I support you 100% and I love the thing about not being that masculine and having documentation. That is something I would write/say.
    Thanks! Yes, it's nice to date a dual for the first time, it's a new experience, but I haven't found love yet, and I guess that's what I'm trying to do.

    Yeah, I like to joke about overly official and formal stuff. I'm glad you find it funny too.

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    "Information without energy is useless" Nowisthetime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timeless View Post
    I like hearing about stuff like this. Major props dude. I'm curious to see how things turn out too if you don't mind.

    By the way, I did the dating profile thing not too long ago, and at first I did the normal thing (I like this, I like that, I'm x, I'm y etc.) but then I realized I should do something different too. Instead of describing myself and all of that usual stuff, all I did was describe the our relationship on a random day. I was sort of trying to let the other person imagine what it'd be like to be together.
    Yes, I also try to be different in ads, but not too different. I don't want people to think that I am eccentric, because I'm not. I'm always trying to improve my previous dating ads. Keeping the good stuff and discarding the stuff I think didn't work. I've now found a style of writing that mostly attracts really nice and interesting people. But it took me some years to get to this point.

    I'll let you all know how it went, when I know it myself

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    yay!
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    Hahaha, ILI. Fun, fun, fun! Please don't live the forum until we know you better .

    Btw, I found my Dual and I was in the same search frenzy like you, 3 y.a. I think. Good luck!
    Nah. I'm enjoying myself too much to leave now. Awww.I'm wanted.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Your DNA is mine. Mediator Kam's Avatar
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    @_@ INTp you say.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    What do you prefer, "wanted" or "targeted"? I mean what do you find as sounding cooler?

    Wanted. I appreciate that you wanted to study me.


    Well, if you're going to attack me, targeted might be more appropriate. The word 'targeted' sounds cooler in a "lock target.The banana is split. I repeat: the banana is split" sort of way.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamajama View Post
    @_@ INTp you say.
    lol ja. i've been saying it and saying it today. Nice to meet you.



    .............. Go here, if you too have doubts as to my type.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    Oh, not another hasty Ne Irrational misinterpretation! That was not my intention, to attack you, but "targeted" is cold, you could be targeted by a machine for any purpose. "Wanted" is too human, just I don't use to involve myself emotionally, I analyze people as things. So considering this, do you find this approach more reasonable than "wanted"?
    an ILI conversing with an ILE would have multiple possible meanings for whatever the ILE said. I did.

    I used wanted. I am ILI.

    I analyze people as people with fascinating components. .

    So considering this, I find wanted perfectly reasonable if one uses Fi. I find an ILE using "targeted" to make sense, and I would find an ILI using a non-emotive and detached yet less aggressive phrase like, "selected for study" to make sense.

    You and I are now going to an imaginary bar and drinking. The popcorn has been soaked in whiskey and Disarrono.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    "Information without energy is useless" Nowisthetime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    @Nowisthetime: you actually are an eccentric, imo .
    I guess it depends what we mean by being eccentric. I might appear more eccentric online, I don't know.

    In real life people tell me that it's hard to label me, and that I can seem a little mysterious. But I don't see it as being eccentric, because it feels natural for me to be in social situations. And I don't think that I act "odd".

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    That makes sense, I was just sarcastic towards people who make such judgements.

    Btw, I can see you as SEI for a while, unlike previously, when I said that you're most likely an EII. Dunno if you're aware of that, though.
    Yes, I was aware that you probably can see me as SEI now, at least more than before. You hinted this indirectly at some point in some thread.

    When you mentioned EII that was based mostly on my initial introduction, which I enjoyed writing, but it was heavily edited and styled. Later posts by me have been more spontaneous.

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