blooming within oneself

[blooming]

i am so young. but so tired... i recently joined this website to find some anwsers. im hoping perhaps some like minded people who have already been where i am at now can help me. i want to find happiness within myself and not look to other people. i am a great actor, you may never know what im really feeling. i have this horrible way of not allowing myself to become vunerable, and show who i really am aside from when i literally force myself. does this come with age and confidence?

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[717495]

A great actor hmm... are you Richard Dreyfus? No no, that can't be it...

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[717495]

That's cause Legolas is badass.

[silverchris9]

Are you an IEI yet? Start writing.

EDIT: Painting and performing are also moderately acceptable substitutes.

[Beautiful sky]

i am so young. but so tired... i recently joined this website to find some anwsers. im hoping perhaps some like minded people who have already been where i am at now can help me. i want to find happiness within myself and not look to other people. i am a great actor, you may never know what im really feeling. i have this horrible way of not allowing myself to become vunerable, and show who i really am aside from when i literally force myself. does this come with age and confidence?

I don't know? are you questioning your will?

[silverchris9]

The nickname reminds me of an actor that ruled as Paris but sucked as Legolas (because it happened that I read both stories previously).

That's cause Legolas is badass.

Yes:
Paris is a bitch, Orlando Bloom is a bitch. Good fit.
Legolas is a badass, Orlando Bloom is not a badass. Poor fit.

EDIT:
Pretty sure the great actor bit was a metaphor. Also, Orlando Bloom is not a great actor.

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[Aiss]

This is extremely close to my thoughts! Orlando looks too sedentary for an elf, especially Legolas, he should be light, tensed, sharp and fast in moves with vigilant glare.

Exactly! I have the same problems with elves in movies. They're too soft.

Also, congrats on 4k post. Maritsa outpaced you, though.

[crazedrat]

You can't thrive emotionally while being cut off from the outside world. It just isn't possible. Why do you refuse to connect with the outside world? Why "Within yourself"? Is there some reason you're afraid of making contact with others?

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[Brilliand]

i am so young. but so tired... i recently joined this website to find some anwsers. im hoping perhaps some like minded people who have already been where i am at now can help me. i want to find happiness within myself and not look to other people. i am a great actor, you may never know what im really feeling. i have this horrible way of not allowing myself to become vunerable, and show who i really am aside from when i literally force myself. does this come with age and confidence?

Hmm... so you have chosen what answer you want to reach, and want us to convince you of it? It seems to me that you would be better off working your way forward from where you are, even if you reach a different answer. Well, I would be, anyway... I can't tell how similar you are to me.

By "great actor" I suppose you only mean that you hide your true feelings, not that you're great on stage? What are you good at, that you consider a good thing?

My own take on Socionics is that everyone has weaknesses, and you should look for people to balance them rather than trying to patch them up in yourself. Of course, for someone who has a weakness in looking for people (as I do), this is easier said than done.

Also, perhaps you should never expect to succeed in showing your true self:

Double bind - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

As an example of a koan, a student can be asked to present to the master their genuine self, "Show me who you really are". According to Watts, the student will eventually realize there is nothing they can do, yet also nothing they cannot do, to present their actual self; thus, they truly learn the Buddhist concept of anatman (non-self) via reductio ad absurdum.

(Alternatively, you have already done it, whether you like it or not.)

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

"i want to find happiness within myself and not look to other people"
blooming I feel for you!

Anyway,crazedratXII here's my answer to your question:

Personally,I am not afraid of making contact with others but i usually get the impression that they function on a totally different wavelength and that i won't be able to offer anything under the current conditions.I find mottos like "Live your life","carpe diem" etc very cheesy and it leads people to be dramatic,loud and suckers for sensorial input.Overall,too much ado for nothing .This is why living "within yourself" is preferable.

blooming are you lonely this way(or do you see loneliness as a looming evil?)Are you being bullied by your family to come out of your shell and bs like that?You've probably heard this before but loneliness < > aloneness.And no i don't mean that you should become a hermit but give your self the time it needs to grow and don't feel the urge to shape it fast and sloppy in order to respond to the "normal social being" archetype.