I've made the decision ~ to believe in love again

[tcaudilllg]

Yes, after having my heart scorched and salted by women who really didn't give a damn, I have resolved to find true love.

According to Michael Sternberg, true love has three components:

• intimacy
• passion
• commitment

I don't think the triangle is complete, because it doesn't include a sense of harmony. Love is not just about being there for each other. No, real love is about enjoying being there for each other, about not being bothered about doing things for another because helping that person is a natural inclination. Soulmates feel a sense of genuine reward for helping each other, so much that they want to do more of it. It's about learning to live for someone else, where one need not worry about one's own needs because one's partner has them covered already.

It's also about unconditional acceptance: the one enjoys and cherishes the nature of the other, and is ready -- genuinely desires -- to defend that nature. Together with harmony, commitment is enriched and fixated on mutual desire. Sex, if possible, is sought after. Partners are neither trinkets for each other nor... they are objects of mutual obsession. And yet, this obsession is not genuinely mental... it is instinctual. A circumstantial thing where when one partner offers themselves to the other the recipient either replies or is distressed for the refusal. To put it in perspective, if one partner wants to engage in intimate acts in a public place, then the refusal of the other partner, when there is true love, is not an act of self-vindication but of regret, for when love is true it is not the enemy of society.

[redbaron]

nice, tcaud! I like it.

(sorry about the heart-scorchings)

[discojoe]

Someone please lock tcaudilllg inside an adamantium cage.

[redbaron]

adamantium cage.

had to look that up.

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[Gilly]

Someone please lock tcaudilllg inside an adamantium cage.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

No tcaud. No. I have to put a stop to this right now. This is just being idealistic which will only make you dissapointed. People are going to let you down. If you put faith in people, they will always abandon it. Always. Without exception. No matter how faggy romantic close you guys are.

Women are much more attracted to you just being cool and confident and making fun of others because it helps distract them from their own pain. Not in a bullying way though more in just a fun lively way. Only gay men locked up in Starr Commonwealth like your sort of idealized version of love, only because their massive low self-confidence is telling them that are not worthy for any kind of love.

Love has to be something that you already got otherwise what's the point? I mean it's useless to think of 'good things are coming on their way' if they actually are NOT coming their way. That will only make things much worse. It's okay to be all Fefe Dobson-ish if you just KNOW that things will work out with a person eventually , then that's kind of silly and fun and loving, but if you're just hoping and wishing and praying you're not going to make any woman respect you.

[Joy]

true love

As opposed to what? False love?

idk, I think the word "love" has an infinite number of definitions, and different people are capable of different levels of love at different points in their lives. Most of the time it's all about them... how this person makes them feel or influences their lives or whatever. People search for an object for their love or affection. The unconditional acceptance that you mention is something I've considered recently and decided that this means accepting someone for who they are instead of how they make you feel or what they do for you.

According to Michael Sternberg, true love has three components:

• intimacy
• passion
• commitment

I don't think the triangle is complete, because it doesn't include a sense of harmony.

Wouldn't that be part of intimacy though?

Love is not just about being there for each other. No, real love is about enjoying being there for each other, about not being bothered about doing things for another because helping that person is a natural inclination. Soulmates feel a sense of genuine reward for helping each other, so much that they want to do more of it. It's about learning to live for someone else, where one need not worry about one's own needs because one's partner has them covered already.

Eh, that just sounds like duality. It's not necessarily romantic. And there are only 16 types and a whole lot of people in the world, so it's not exactly a "soul mate" sort of thing.

[crazedrat]

love is like an anticipatory play. To get my blood moving nowdays it takes the prospect of completely devouring the female. Only then am I interested. I think I pushed the amusement of love too far and now I'm bored with the idea. There's no anticipation left in it. A person has to be really incredible to strike my interest

[Creepy-male]

...it takes the prospect of completely devouring the female

creepy...

this is the reason you remind me of baudelaire

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[silverchris9]

love is like an anticipatory play. To get my blood moving nowdays it takes the prospect of completely devouring the female. Only then am I interested. I think I pushed the amusement of love too far and now I'm bored with the idea. There's no anticipation left in it. A person has to be really incredible to strike my interest

I hope I don't get that way. Sigh.

Anyway, I've stopped analyzing for "themes" in Shakespeare (so has Harold Bloom, although he probably wouldn't admit it). Instead, I look for "what is represented". And what is represented in Romeo and Juliet is love ("my bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as endless. The more I give to thee the more I have"). There are lessons from Shakespeare's plays in the exact same way as there are lessons from life. No one would say that you don't learn lessons by thinking about your life. But the same experience teaches different people different lessons. That's how I feel about Shakespeare's plays.

I don't know how much I believe in love. But I do know that I'm probably going to fall in love fairly soon (next two or three years tops), and I'm not excited about it, because I don't have any more room in my life for emotional headaches. I'm certainly screwed up enough already. Romance, not the drama, is the arena in which we play out our wounds from childhood in preparation for getting another set of children to wound.

[Satan]

love is like an anticipatory play. To get my blood moving nowdays it takes the prospect of completely devouring the female. Only then am I interested. I think I pushed the amusement of love too far and now I'm bored with the idea. There's no anticipation left in it. A person has to be really incredible to strike my interest

I think it's called "getting old".

[redbaron]

I think it's called "getting old".

[Satan]

Where's your spark.

[Ezra]

Yes, after having my heart scorched and salted by women who really didn't give a damn, I have resolved to find true love.

According to Michael Sternberg, true love has three components:

• intimacy
• passion
• commitment

I don't think the triangle is complete, because it doesn't include a sense of harmony. Love is not just about being there for each other. No, real love is about enjoying being there for each other, about not being bothered about doing things for another because helping that person is a natural inclination. Soulmates feel a sense of genuine reward for helping each other, so much that they want to do more of it. It's about learning to live for someone else, where one need not worry about one's own needs because one's partner has them covered already.

It's also about unconditional acceptance: the one enjoys and cherishes the nature of the other, and is ready -- genuinely desires -- to defend that nature. Together with harmony, commitment is enriched and fixated on mutual desire. Sex, if possible, is sought after. Partners are neither trinkets for each other nor... they are objects of mutual obsession. And yet, this obsession is not genuinely mental... it is instinctual. A circumstantial thing where when one partner offers themselves to the other the recipient either replies or is distressed for the refusal. To put it in perspective, if one partner wants to engage in intimate acts in a public place, then the refusal of the other partner, when there is true love, is not an act of self-vindication but of regret, for when love is true it is not the enemy of society.

Ignoring the theory, speaking from experience: love exists. You'll probably but not necessarily find it in your dual. And you'll know for sure when it comes.