...and I've pretty much given up on finding any insight on this forum as to what it might be. Seems like everyone talks total wish-washy BS on here.
I feel like I'm two types. Maybe most of you are wrong in saying that there is one solid type for everyone...people are changable in my opinion (rarely the case...but still plausible. unsure of my personality or lifestyle is such).
I see mixtures of ESI and IEI within my self and how I live my life.
I've pegged myself both before: however there's an IEI male at work..who irratates me to no end on how oblivious he is to practical things. But I feel like I understand him in a sibling kind of way. And there is an ESI female at work.. who from close interaction I get along great with, and lots of understanding until other people show up in the mix and then she is a total ass-kissing fake bitch...type 2 enneagram (oh my effin god, i hate type 2s...they seem so fake to me). Everyone wants to be her god damn friend, and she PRETENDS that they are and the talks soooo much shit about them to me. It's annoying. I, however, like a select few and am very honest and forward faced when it comes to not liking someone...I don't hide it, if I talk shit about someone...they know it, I've more than likely said it to their face.
I relate very very much to type six enneagram...a little to type four (with about trying on personalities...maybe because i'm so young i do this?? But also I want to be loved and accepted for who I am..and feel very very stubborn of this...if I feel someone doesn't "get" me...I will sabatouge the friendship or relationship I have with that person just to ebb further heartache for me, should they never "get" me. I start fights, and I can be confrontational...especially to the guy I've been seeing, because I can be extremely insecure about particular things (..I hate when guys talk fondly of thier exes...i know..stupid, but I can't help it, I get insanely jealous..or I know I've small tits..and wish they were bigger, lol... or I feel like no one will ever truly understand me enough to love me and never walk away.) it's...human stuff I guess, not sure if any of it is type relatable.
anyways..I guess I want my typing down so much because of the same reasons everyone else does: I'm afraid of...surrounding myself with the wrong people...or ending up with the "wrong" guy..and getting a divorce. honestly. that's the only reason I've been so compelled towards socionics and I know it's a silly fear...that socionics will never be able to clear away...hell even the perfect dual relationship can crumble and it's all been sooooo built up. I'm just afraid. of my future. of never being "happy" or of having a partner who loves me now but down the road will see me as a HUGE burden or something.
anyways. I know it's silly and stupid.
gotta head to work.