I am new here. Okay, I have been studying socionics for three years. I have been able to help friends identify their type (only help, they usually are very certain of who they are it seems) yet I find it very difficult to come to conclusions of my own type. So please help me. I do not have a picture or camera, so v.i. is difficult to produce, I can however try to describe my face if any require it. I am a male.
As for habits, I am usually quiet, I seem monotone, and stoic to those who do not know me well. I dress usually in all black, but once in a while grey, dark red or brown to mix things up. I will not wear a shirt with an advertisement of any kind, even a brand, unless it is something like a band I like or something to support a friend's cause. My clothes do not fit well, I also wear a leather jacket, sometimes trench coat. The trench coat was originally a joke, but when I was in highschool a kid called his father who was a cop and demanded that the principal forbid me to wear it believing me to be a terrorist, the principal spoke to me, said he could not in good conscience tell me not to wear it and said to do whatever I want, since I did not know who the kid was so could not thank him for wasting my time, I wore the duster every single day, whether it was hot or cold as an "F you" to the moron. I do not do goth, emo or stereotypes so please get that out of your head. I only feel comfortable in dark colors, it is not to portray a certain image, but entirely for my own comfort level. Bright colors feel vulnerable and too loud. I walk with one foot in front of the other like on a tightrope. I do not know why, but I have been ridiculed for it so had to continue this behavior. I have bad posture. I am very sensitve to criticism, but at the same time I feel violated when I let others influence my decisions, so I tend to be miserable when I am ridiculed, but dig my heels in even deeper in doing whatever I was ridiculed for. I do not like verbal confrontation however, I am terrible at it, and consider statements such as "I'll shove my size 12 up your a-hole" entirely unnecessary and pretentious.
I am torn between the real world and the supernatural. On the one had, I crave sensational experiences and believe that the real world is more important. On the other hand, I can not keep my mind from considering things such as mysticism, animal spirit guides, astrology numerology etc. Though I do not have a defined belief on how the world woks or any particular system I adhere to. I get bored and feel encaged without mental stimulus, but then feel the same when my body goes without attention or stimulation either.
Most of my friends are ILI or IEI. I do not know what my best friend is. We are similar yet opposites in many ways. She has facial features similar to Angelina Jolie, Olivia Wilde, and Cristina Scabbia. Her nose gets wider as it gets lower and is flat yet curved at the bottom, her face is symmetrical with sharp cheek bones, she has eyes that challenge you one moment, then disarms you with a playful manner then next. She is usually considered attractive by the opposite sex. Is sensual, and has animal magnetism. She is energetic, lustful for adventure, passionate and strong willed. But she is also very sentimental, and almost childlike sometimes endearingly so the more you get to know her. She fears weakness, and admires strength and assertiveness. Her boyfriends are always aggressive. She often tries to push me to be more assertive, and relates me to her younger, more timid self, ironically she is younger than me, but was forced onto the streets at 15, around the time we met, so has much world experience. She has considerable depth which is not always aparent at first due to a playful exhibtionist persona, and loves imagination/creativity though doubts her own abilities, abhors conformism and is skilled in calculating her actions, yet seems governed by the feelings of the moment and is highly improvational, seeming to make plans, only to forgo them with action. She shows much genuine emotion, but knows how to fake them too. Yet she also is very precise when it comes to things making sense, and dislikes actions that don't. She does however prefer to be sincere, and will base decisions out of love or loyalty, even if they seem foolish or will cost her much. She cannot "waste a day" even if it means sleeping only for 3 hours. We have never argued in person, it is only through text or email that we get confused. In person we use body language, tones, gestures, and can finish each others sentences this way. Both of us are paranoid, afraid to lose control of ourselves, and often question whether the other cares having severe doubts in any and every relationship we have. We immediately sympathise, even become protective of each other over minor statements, often frustrating her boyfriend to no end. She cannot go without a romantic partner more than 2 days, or becomes pessimistic and depressed. I do not do romance however, even when someone I am attracted to shows interest in me, I become cold, or never speak to them again. I do however love romantic movies and encourage my friends to find love.
I am usually very serious. I do not lose arguments, but I seldom win them either. I apologize frequently when trying to show good will to others, but will not apologize to an authority figure unless they have earned my respect. An apology is a reflex or a tool to me, I believe regret is a waste of time. I am concerned with sincerity in everything else however, and am very willing to give to a friend, only friends. I do not however do debts. I either give completely, without being paid back, or I will do nothing for the person. Halfway attempts and gestures piss me off. I will never compromise unless it is with my best friend. Oh and I am terribly rude toward any missionary, no matter how polite they are, I do not like their intention to try to persuade me. I do not like being influenced. I do not like being inspired by what is supposed to make you feel good. I prefer being miserable than being lied to. I like input and advice, not commands, which is what persuasion feels like, I will not be commanded. I also usually somehow end up being a confidant to my friends. I am not emotionally expressive however so it is strange to me. Though as I said, most are ILI's and IEI's and they often appreciate "objective analysis" that they claim I provide effectively. One of my friends have said that I am very open when speaking to a friend, but at a distance I seem cold, flat, even critical. I am uptight with any emotion where my best friend is very free with positive ones. Yet if someone crosses her, hell is unleashed. My friends have called me "kind, considerate, gentle, and caring, a guardian angel and generous" though also "unassertive, timid, insecure and too negative" yet I have been called "cruel, heartless, stubborn, unstable, paranoid and argumentative" by family, teachers, strangers and peers. I have popularity issues.