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Thread: Differences between SEIs-ISFps and SLIs-ISTps

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    Default Differences between SEIs-ISFps and SLIs-ISTps

    I think we may have done this before, a couple years ago but I don't feel like sifting through the threads.

    Throw out your experiences with each as well as what you think the defining differences are between these two types. I'm good friends with an SEI-Si and I'm trying to figure out if someone else I know is SLI-Si. So... any compare and contrast would be good. Or if you know just one or the other, that's good too.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    ~~rubicon~~ Rubicon's Avatar
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    Great thread!
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    Si-F is subjective appraisal; particularly, one's perception of a sensory stimulus. Whether it is pleasing, of painful. Si-T is the degree of aid or hinderance one process yields towards the performance of another process. Subjectively experienced, it is one's sense of health or illness. The two have a relationship in that as one declines the other also declines in proportion. This is why when you are sick, your senses dilute.

    The distinction between Si-F and Se-F is very slight. Qualia is Se-F information; your impression of it is Si-F.
    Last edited by tcaudilllg; 03-28-2010 at 01:49 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg View Post
    Si-F is subjective appraisal; particularly, one's perception of a sensory stimulus. Whether it is pleasing, of painful. Si-T is the degree of aid or hinderance one process yields towards the performance of another process. Subjectively experienced, it is one's sense of health or illness.
    okay so what might this look like in examples, in real life?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    the team leader at work is SLI and another staff is SEI i think. they get along well. i think i've got them typed right. everyone loves the SEI, but he's male and younger so it's hard for me to really say. since he gets annoyed with me i find it hard to think he's my dual.

    similarities: they both like to keep the climate of the office in balance. neither likes a lot of conflict.

    differences: SEI likes conflict even less than SLI. SLI will mess with people more, making jokes at their expense, while SEI won't do this. SEI is smoother. SEI doesn't like to deal with systems or facts, whereas SLI likes data.

    anyway, practical example.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    differences: SEI likes conflict even less than SLI. SLI will mess with people more, making jokes at their expense, while SEI won't do this. SEI is smoother. SEI doesn't like to deal with systems or facts, whereas SLI likes data.
    Thanks Blaze!

    So for instance, an SLI might collect baseball cards and keep track of stats whereas the SEI would enjoy baseball but not to that extent--might be more likely to revel in the atmosphere of a game rather than pay attention the nuts and bolts. Like that?
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    baron, you can feel the difference

    Fe PoLR is the key

    Theres going to be this tension with SLIs that makes interaction slightly awkward because of their PoLR. If you say something like 'I missed you =D' or basically prod Fe reactions out of them, it becomes very obvious.

    So I dont know if this sounds fucked up but I suggest to put pressure on the vulnerable function, not TOO MUCH, but very slightly. It shouldnt take that much anyway. Couple of Fe type comments and see how they react, prod it out of them.

    With SEIs, interaction is going to be more traditionally fun, lots of positive energy and laughing. No awkwardness, there isnt really any of the bluntness that SLIs have. Oh! another way to tell is analyzing something in a Ti style way, or Ni way. SLIs will generally follow it for a bit, but then start to get annoyed. They dont like to look at stuff too in depth like that for too long(or in too serious of a light) and will try to avoid or attempt to shut it down after awhile. SEIs on the other hand will at least humor the topic and seem interested and engaged for prolonged periods. The energy is going to be moderate to high, while with SLIs its going to be low/moderate.

    Also I suggest sharing the deeper parts of yourself, maybe some darker elements. The SEI will give you a feeling of acceptance, give you advice that things are going to be OK, not to worry so much. The SLI wont know what to do, will probably give some T style advice that might work and be effective but you will feel wasnt exactly what you were looking for.

    Also when Im around SEIs I feel appreciated for who I am as a person. Someone said Alpha Fe is about acceptance(might have been tcaudilllg) and that definitely rings true with my experience w SEIs. I feel like I can be who I am and wont be judged for it, very comfortable. With SLIs, theres a lack of Fe feedback so you may find yourself questioning your interactions with this person and where you stand with them. How they feel, if you matter to them, etc. They may make you feel expendable and not special.

    redbaron: OMG I MISSED YOU BABEZ
    SEI: OMG I MISSED YOU TOO <3

    redbaron: OMGZ I MISSED YOU BABEZ
    SLI: awkward stare/wtf/thank you


    SLIs have a way of dissolving your emotions, SEI will amplify them.
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    yeah that makes sense, pirate. With my SEI-Si friend, mostly he just smiles and I can sense the acceptance even though he's nowhere close to being as expressive as I am. But I can tell that he loves it.

    The person I was thinking might be SLI... now I'm questioning that typing for him. There's zero awkwardness, he doesn't shy away from anything I say and in fact he's more forward and upfront about everything than I am. (am considering SLE for him also)
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    I had a SLI friend once. We could walk around the city for hours, looking at buildings, going in and out of shops etc. It was nice to observe the environment with him. He would look at a bird an say: "Look at how it is walking, the head is pushed forward for every 3/4 cycle the legs make." It was so funny. At one time we were in a hurry, and we invented a new way of walking really fast, pushing our legs forward with exaggerated strength. Years later we remembered that we had walked in this specific way on that occasion. We also had a spontaneous name for this style of walking, it was called "the-long-step-first".

    Sorry, all this is probably pointless, and a little off topic, since he was not Si-SLI and I'm not Si-SEI, - but SLI and SEI anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nowisthetime View Post
    I had a SLI friend once. We could walk around the city for hours, looking at buildings, going in and out of shops etc. It was nice to observe the environment with him. He would look at a bird an say: "Look at how it is walking, the head is pushed forward for every 3/4 cycle the legs make." It was so funny. At one time we were in a hurry, and we invented a new way of walking really fast, pushing our legs forward with exaggerated strength. Years later we remembered that we had walked in this specific way on that occasion. We also had a spontaneous name for this style of walking, it was called "the-long-step-first".

    Sorry, all this is probably pointless, and a little off topic, since he was not Si-SLI and I'm not Si-SEI, - but SLI and SEI anyway.
    that's cute! What a funny memory.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    The attitude of the ISFp is more victim-like, more prone to 'complaining' about problems rather than dealing with them. The ISTp on the other hand looks like he conjure up the right tool for every problem and will not discuss problems he can not solve in nearly as much detail.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    ...
    Fe PoLR is the key

    Theres going to be this tension with SLIs that makes interaction slightly awkward because of their PoLR. If you say something like 'I missed you =D' or basically prod Fe reactions out of them, it becomes very obvious.

    So I dont know if this sounds fucked up but I suggest to put pressure on the vulnerable function, not TOO MUCH, but very slightly. It shouldnt take that much anyway. Couple of Fe type comments and see how they react, prod it out of them.

    ...

    Also I suggest sharing the deeper parts of yourself, maybe some darker elements. The SEI will give you a feeling of acceptance, give you advice that things are going to be OK, not to worry so much. The SLI wont know what to do, will probably give some T style advice that might work and be effective but you will feel wasnt exactly what you were looking for.
    ...
    With SLIs, theres a lack of Fe feedback so you may find yourself questioning your interactions with this person and where you stand with them. How they feel, if you matter to them, etc. They may make you feel expendable and not special.

    redbaron: OMG I MISSED YOU BABEZ
    SEI: OMG I MISSED YOU TOO <3

    redbaron: OMGZ I MISSED YOU BABEZ
    SLI: awkward stare/wtf/thank you


    SLIs have a way of dissolving your emotions, SEI will amplify them.
    YES.

    thePirate another excellent description from you.

    I can't confirm one way or the other re: SEIs as I'm still trying to figure out how to recognize them versus other Fe-valuers. However, the SLI interaction is spot on.

    and yes, dissolving emotions--so true. . . Experienced that a number of times. A couple times it was kinda funny actually, maybe a little embarrassing.

    Just like you said-- the Fe is key to differentiating them.

    p.s. Redbaron, AWESOME THREAD! I really need some pointers on recognizing SEIs better. I think a few of my friends might be SEIs.
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by labcoat View Post
    The attitude of the ISFp is more victim-like, more prone to 'complaining' about problems rather than dealing with them. The ISTp on the other hand looks like he conjure up the right tool for every problem and will not discuss problems he can not solve in nearly as much detail.
    that's a good point. yes, thank you!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    i think it's really weird to type people T vs F based on expressiveness.
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    Very nice thread. SEI life ftw! Everything said about SEIs here I agree with.

    Keeping things a little awkward is really fun though.
    D-SEI 9w1

    This is me and my dual being scientific together

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    Being in two different quadras translates to differences in values, beliefs, and understandings. It also means the two have different preferences in style of sexual relations. SLI need emotional assurance that their partner is truly interested in them and that they do need stable relations, this is more a need of security, therefore, with this regards, they are less secure. SEI are secure; they don't really need anyone in their lives, it's nice when there is someone.

    SEI will use Ti to look like ESTj, to look like they are efficient at building systems, almost like ESTj, but really stress out at the amount of work they can accumulate on to themselves because of Te (lack of method) polr; while SLI will use Fi, looking like INFj, to discuss relationships and their feelings that are connected to interpersonal relationships.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 03-28-2010 at 02:21 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by implied View Post
    i think it's really weird to type people T vs F based on expressiveness.
    I dont think it's quite that though.

    It's not T vs F. It's about Fe-POLR, which is quite a phenomenon and easy to recognize. You can't really apply these statements to another T vs F pair (except maybe ILI vs IEI, can't really comment as well on that though).

    Fe-POLR has a certain look to it, a certain way of holding the lips when serious, a furrow in the brow even when not angry, a certain way of displaying and communicating feelings (including a characteristic way of smiling). Also a very typical way of subdued reaction to another party displaying feelings.

    Examples:

    #1. I was watching Survivor on TV. SLI joins me on the couch. The episode was ending, with previews for next week, and they show an elephant appearing very close to the survivors' camp trudging through the forest gathering food. I thought it was really cute and so I squealed and giggled and looked over at SLI. SLI = stone faced, serious. So I was like, oh, I guess he didn't find it amusing. . .At which point, I went back to being serious. Then he asks me if I mind if he changes the channel so he can watch baseball.

    #2. One of our patients in the hospital was initially very sick and out of it. I'd passed by the patient's room at one point to check on him, I was standing in the hallway, and the patient was feeling a lot better and was being a little goofy and waving to me from behind his table (like a peek-a-boo thing--which was humorous in that this was a 50-year old guy ). I was really excited to see that he was doing a lot better and had his sense of humor back. So I was standing in the hallway waving back really excitedly, when I see SLI trudging towards the entire scene, walking down the hallway. Again, stone faced serious, though I think i could see the corners of his mouth turn up the tiniest bit!! but his eyes of course communicated. . . I'm not even sure how to put it. . .acknowledgement of the situation perhaps. Of course, seeing his lack of facial expression made me tone down the hilarity quick. I found that whole situation, including SLI's reaction, really funny and cute actually.


    That's the thing. . .SLI's are expressive but you can only really see it in the eyes most of the time. You can also see it when they release their control of their emotions (e.g. when under the influence of alcohol or when very tired). I saw it happen with my own eyes. It was after a hard night's work--our boss made a raunchy joke, and SLI just couldn't hold it in. I could see him trying to suppress it, but he broke out into the most pure bright genuine smile I've ever seen on him and laughed. He was even trying to suppress the laugh. It was an AMAZING sight. And interestingly, I could tell he felt embarrassed afterwards. And never again to be repeated.


    p.s. i take that back, I had a couple more SLI smile sightings (the genuine ones), in context with our dualization but not too relevant to this discussion.
    Last edited by Suz; 03-28-2010 at 03:23 AM.
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    According to an SEI friend:

    Postitives:

    I have a positive perspective.
    In a social situation, I am lively, and have fun.
    I need a rhythm to life otherwise I get lost in day to day things, checking bills every friday, taking care of practical stuff is really hards, otherwise I will get lost in day dreams and not get a lot done.
    "The good things are already here."-Positive outlook on life not negative.
    Good at displaying act to enduce emotion: Example, "the girl next to me sat at the tip of her chair, when we were watching comedy and had her hands in the air and was laughing and screaming."
    Too too Detail oriented, creative (Se, Si) not necessarily Te or Ti; because of this feature, they can mistake themselves for ESTj.


    Negative:
    I get obsessed, when somethings bothers me it's hard for me to let it go. I have to take a step back to look at things objectively and not let it effect me emotionally.
    I can easily not remember where my car is, to pay my taxes or bills on time.
    Can't prioritize time (weak Te); will take care of one thing that's not more important and waive off something that is more important.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 03-28-2010 at 04:56 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamajama View Post

    Keeping things a little awkward is really fun though.
    love this

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    I dont think it's quite that though.

    It's not T vs F. It's about Fe-POLR, which is quite a phenomenon and easy to recognize. You can't really apply these statements to another T vs F pair (except maybe ILI vs IEI, can't really comment as well on that though).

    Fe-POLR has a certain look to it, a certain way of holding the lips when serious, a furrow in the brow even when not angry, a certain way of displaying and communicating feelings (including a characteristic way of smiling). Also a very typical way of subdued reaction to another party displaying feelings.

    Examples:

    #1. I was watching Survivor on TV. SLI joins me on the couch. The episode was ending, with previews for next week, and they show an elephant appearing very close to the survivors' camp trudging through the forest gathering food. I thought it was really cute and so I squealed and giggled and looked over at SLI. SLI = stone faced, serious. So I was like, oh, I guess he didn't find it amusing. . .At which point, I went back to being serious. Then he asks me if I mind if he changes the channel so he can watch baseball.

    #2. One of our patients in the hospital was initially very sick and out of it. I'd passed by the patient's room at one point to check on him, I was standing in the hallway, and the patient was feeling a lot better and was being a little goofy and waving to me from behind his table (like a peek-a-boo thing--which was humorous in that this was a 50-year old guy ). I was really excited to see that he was doing a lot better and had his sense of humor back. So I was standing in the hallway waving back really excitedly, when I see SLI trudging towards the entire scene, walking down the hallway. Again, stone faced serious, though I think i could see the corners of his mouth turn up the tiniest bit!! but his eyes of course communicated. . . I'm not even sure how to put it. . .acknowledgement of the situation perhaps. Of course, seeing his lack of facial expression made me tone down the hilarity quick. I found that whole situation, including SLI's reaction, really funny and cute actually.


    That's the thing. . .SLI's are expressive but you can only really see it in the eyes most of the time. You can also see it when they release their control of their emotions (e.g. when under the influence of alcohol or when very tired). I saw it happen with my own eyes. It was after a hard night's work--our boss made a raunchy joke, and SLI just couldn't hold it in. I could see him trying to suppress it, but he broke out into the most pure bright genuine smile I've ever seen on him and laughed. He was even trying to suppress the laugh. It was an AMAZING sight. And interestingly, I could tell he felt embarrassed afterwards. And never again to be repeated.


    p.s. i take that back, I had a couple more SLI smile sightings (the genuine ones), in context with our dualization but not too relevant to this discussion.
    these are great examples. when SLI is not into it, they are not into it. it's weird, too, because you never know when that's going to be. like, a lot of the time they will joke around in a kind of Si way then suddenly they won't be into it and will freeze you out for an extended period of time.

    if you express your feelings or show them, they lose respect and feel that they can manipulate you easily.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    bump. any more pointers on how to tell them apart?

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