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Thread: Jealousy - any relation to type?

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    Default Jealousy - any relation to type?

    this idea of jealousy and "you're mine" attitude, even after years of being apart.... (is that odd?) is that type-related? I think we must have had a thread about this before but I don't remember now.
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    seems Se ego? "you're my territory"? maybe not. doesn't play out in actual application when i think about Se egos.

    perhaps not type related?

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    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    I know an LSE who is so jealous of X girlfriends, all of them...it's odd.

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    I'm posessive. "That little girl is MY minion." "That guy is MY enemy." "That person sat behind ME in third period of eighth grade." Kinda makes me wish I had long-term memory loss...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Stop attempts at relating every goddamn shit to socionics. If you can't see right away how it is, or is it at all, type related; then fucking bugger off off trying to relate it. Just think about jealousy in its own terms. K.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    Stop attempts at relating every goddamn shit to socionics. If you can't see right away how it is, or is it at all, type related; then fucking bugger off off trying to relate it. Just think about jealousy in its own terms. K.
    Okay...

    Maybe it's enneagram-related!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    Stop attempts at relating every goddamn shit to socionics. If you can't see right away how it is, or is it at all, type related; then fucking bugger off off trying to relate it. Just think about jealousy in its own terms. K.
    stop swearing at me. this is the "IS IT TYPE RELATED" section.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Okay...

    Maybe it's enneagram-related!
    lol
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

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    aggressors + delta ST's
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    stop swearing at me. this is the "IS IT TYPE RELATED" section.
    The most stupid section of all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    The most stupid section of all.
    maybe. but hey, I didn't make it up.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    this idea of jealousy and "you're mine" attitude, even after years of being apart.... (is that odd?) is that type-related?
    A cursory glance at that makes me think "abuser-related".
    Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)

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    "If I had known those other guys you dated, I'd have roughed them up"

    If said in a joking manner, could be any type. Or serious, could be Se maybe? doesn't sound very alpha SF to me. At least not the ones I know. but maybe if the person was just trying to be funny.
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    tutututut...Shut up, you're just trying to be rude.

    To answer: Dunno if it's type related but I'm a very territorial person...and do admit to getting jealous when a guy I'm dating mentions his ex in a good light.
    A few of my close friends are like that as well...I thought it was a "chick" insecurity thing. I've never heard a guy say that come to think of it...that would make a red flag go up that he's too possesive. Could've been just joking.

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    I know a guy that's maybe EIE that was telling me today that he doesn't know how he feels about missing his girlfriend. He wants to be in control and the whole going-on-vacation-and-not-being-free-to-bang-anyone-he-meets thing disturbs him, "like she has my heart in her hands and she can either drop kick it and tell me she banged five guys or she can cherish it forever". Then he goes on about how he kind of would like her to not go out and just chill at home when he's not there.

    I totally get the vulnerability thing. Less so the 'stay home unless I'm there' bit.
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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post
    I totally get the vulnerability thing. Less so the 'stay home unless I'm there' bit.
    yeah. me, too. i think controlling or attempting to control a person is just a strategy that backfires. like, how would he react if she told him to stay home until he's there/acted like a chaperone? chaperones sucked in high school, not even so much that you weren't allowed to do anything, but because you weren't allowed to act independently or to be trusted alone. too much like putting someone in jail.

    i understand a little bit of jealousy in a relationship, but i basically try at all costs not to express it because i dislike how it feels when i'm around jealous people. it's also basically the opposite of trust, imo.
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    I think there are some intertype relations that will inspire more jealousy. Two extroverts I think would have a higher likelihood of producing jealous relations as each naturally tends towards form lots of superficial relationships and neither can very naturally perceive the depth of these superficial relationships. I honestly think Ni types are the most jealous, as defined by the victim romance style, where paranoia is a prevalent element.

    Read this article:
    Victim - Wikisocion

    you can see how their doubts about the other person's true intentions, and constant search for motives of their partner and the motives relation to the relationship will create jealousy. To me it is often Ni women who are the ones who are quick to say, "you spend too much time w/ your friends/hobbies." I've witnessed this with one really bitchy girl(Ni dom) i know who's boyfriend is very social and likes to be out with friends. I've never seen her out at a bar or party without looking scornful and victimized by her boyfriend just talking w/ his friends. Her facebook pictures have tons of pictures of his smiling with her in the background with a shitty look on her face. How he puts up with it is beyond me completely.
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    haha, that's funny. I dunno, I've never been the jealous type.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    haha, that's funny. I dunno, I've never been the jealous type.
    it is also true that not all Ni types are jealous, and i notice it a lot more in Ni women than men.
    asd

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    I'd say I'm not particularly jealous of people and nice activities, but I'm jealous of work/school work. Yeah, I know it sounds lame, but if I know my girlfriend can't or won't go out with me because she's out with friends / doing something pleasant (of course, barring cheating on me) I just feel happy for her, I really can't be paranoid. However, I have gotten pissed off when she'd try to tell me she won't come out because she has to study for a test...I mean...how come a stupid test is more important than ME?
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I'd say I'm not particularly jealous of people and nice activities, but I'm jealous of work/school work. Yeah, I know it sounds lame, but if I know my girlfriend can't or won't go out with me because she's out with friends / doing something pleasant (of course, barring cheating on me) I just feel happy for her, I really can't be paranoid. However, I have gotten pissed off when she'd try to tell me she won't come out because she has to study for a test...I mean...how come a stupid test is more important than ME?
    Test grades are permanent, you are not probably.
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    Quote Originally Posted by heath View Post
    Test grades are permanent, you are not probably.
    Lol, if she said that to me I'd probably break up immediately
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Lol, if she said that to me I'd probably break up immediately
    feisty!!!!!!!! I'd just deal, be like, 'you better ace that test then, or it's over!!' nah just kidding
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    Quote Originally Posted by heath View Post
    feisty!!!!!!!! I'd just deal, be like, 'you better ace that test then, or it's over!!' nah just kidding
    haha funny comeback heath!
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    Quote Originally Posted by heath View Post
    feisty!!!!!!!! I'd just deal, be like, 'you better ace that test then, or it's over!!' nah just kidding
    lol
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    I didn't read the whole thread b/c I'm in a hurry right now, but I do want to comment that I think all (or most) types can get jealous. It's how the jealousy manifests that is likely type related, as is perhaps intensity of jealousy, and what precipitates the jealousy.
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    haha, that's funny. I dunno, I've never been the jealous type.
    How did I ever think I was IEI?

    I can get SOOO jealous, mostly when it comes to love.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    I disagree completely, actually. I don't know what kind of jealousy Ni would offer, but when it comes to possessiveness Se is unbeatable, when it comes to unfounded suspicions Ne is the way to go.
    Ni's in general are distrustful about what they can expect from people and from things in general, they expect the worst with the same confidence they expect the best.

    It's not just theory, I don't know myself any jealous Ni person, except a girl which I'm temporarily type as IEI (the gf of my brother-in-law), but I have doubts about her type.
    Not saying all Ni types are jealous (I don't think I'm so), but there's a reason they're Victims. I find wikisocion description of this style rather accurate. Ni is dynamic and focuses on changing feelings. Where Ne might entertain unfounded suspicions and crazy scenarios, Ni will extrapolate a tendency based on very little foundation.

    I can see a Ni person having moved on before the partner even knows they aren't reassuring enough, in an extreme case.

    This romance style is defined by focus on which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of inner imagery away from the present physical reality. This means that a Victim sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural. This accounts for a Victim's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as to its longer-term perspectives and implications, as well as a certain expectation that the partner will continuously take action to confirm the attraction. Failure on the partner to do so results on the individual assuming that it's already changing. The individual counts on the partner to forcefully bring the individual "down to earth from his thoughts " and focus on the immediate physical reality, continuously.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    Ni ego, or at least speaking on my own, definitely leads to continuous doubts of other person's feelings. However, that does not mean jealousy.
    Probably not the kind of jealousy this thread is about, at least. I think if a person hurts because they're afraid they're going to lose someone, they experience jealousy of some kind.

    In other words:

    Them: Shiny new toy, I mean person.

    Me: Fifteen minutes already up? Okay, cool, later.
    I think like this when there's no real bond - but if there was? That's what Ni is afraid of, I think, at least when coupled with Fi hidden agenda.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    (...)
    This is comforting in a way. I'm in the phase of "not going to let that happen, ever". If I knew I could let go like that, it would be so much easier. I think part of the fear is that the bond might become asymmetrical if I invest too much. I know I would end the relationship in the example you mentioned, but I'd suffer.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinocchio View Post
    Yes, they do, but in both direction (or rather in all directions), that what they perceived can be cheating, or the opposite, a misunderstanding or something else. And I don't think that "extrapolation" is the good term for Ni, because that implies a seed, but Ni rather take all possibilities at once, for example if your spouse misses, something might have happened or might not, on the other hand Ne needs a clue (eg. the spouse behaved strangely on the phone compared to usual) which will escalate in a stream of assumptions.
    I meant it more like extrapolating the trend into the future and assuming that relationship is coming to an end, while many people would rather double their efforts to get back the attention. For example.

    I'm not sure if I agree with what you say about Ni and Ne here. Ni isn't making up equally un(likely) possibilities out of the blue, I think.

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