VI MY DAD AND STEPMOM

[Morcheeba]

[Morcheeba]

This is my fatass stepmom, (though I've never called her by anything other than her name).

[Beautiful sky]

Stepmom looks like ESTp and your dad is ISTp or ESFp
lady #101 is ISTp
lady #102 looks like ISTp
lady #103 is ESFp

How long have they been married?

[Morcheeba]

Stepmom looks like ESTp and your dad is ISTp
lady #101 is ISTp
lady #102 looks like ISTp
lady #103 is ESFp

How long have they been married?

They've been married for about 13 yrs. I would agree about my stepmom, though I thought she might be SEE, (haven't seen either of them for a few years.) My dad is very passive and is basically controlled by my stepmom, it's ridiculous how much she wears the pants!
My dad is very subdued in alot of ways, has never really talked to much about his feelings towards me or anyone else for that matter, so we've had somewhat of a strained relationship.
I know my dad isn't happy in the relationship, he cheated a few years ago, but honestly I think he needs someone to control him, so she is very good for that.

[Beautiful sky]

They've been married for about 13 yrs. I would agree about my stepmom, though I thought she might be SEE, (haven't seen either of them for a few years.) My dad is very passive and is basically controlled by my stepmom, it's ridiculous how much she wears the pants!
My dad is very subdued in alot of ways, has never really talked to much about his feelings towards me or anyone else for that matter, so we've had somewhat of a strained relationship.

Controlling was the next thing I was going to ask about her, some SLE can be that way. Introverted kind of subdued for your dad would make sense. My dad's SLI and is exactly the same way, keeps his feelings to himself and ponders in silence. I had to get upset at my father for not telling his kids (us) that he loves us; he never used the word love and I thought that was strange about a parent who never said that to kids...I would (all the time). It's normal for them to love their kids in silence, so just ignor it; one thing about some silent SLI dad's is that you kinda have to let them know you want them in order for them to respond.

I can see the strained relationship between him and his wife.

[Morcheeba]

I don't know about sli for my dad, he isn't very good at figuring out how things work on any level for that matter (he isn't too sharp), he likes to clean alot to the point of obsession, but he has OCD. When I was younger, he was very emotional but now he seems to be cut off somehow.

[Beautiful sky]

I don't know about sli for my dad, he isn't very good at figuring out how things work on any level for that matter (he isn't too sharp), he likes to clean alot to the point of obsession, but he has OCD. When I was younger, he was very emotional but now he seems to be cut off somehow.

Men who have extremely controlling women in their lives submit and quiet down...I am not sure how healthy that is.

[Morcheeba]

Men who have extremely controlling women in their lives submit and quiet down...I am not sure how healthy that is.

Now that I think about it, even though I rarely trust your V.I. skills, the first idea might be a better one. He seems to be emotional but in a subdued way, maybe that's how creative works. Also would contrary relations even last that long? At least for me, I don't have a problem with INFj's usually, I just wouldn't want to be in their presence for that long, let alone marry one.

[Beautiful sky]

Now that I think about it, even though I rarely trust your V.I. skills, the first idea might be a better one. He seems to be emotional but in a subdued way, maybe that's how creative works. Also would contrary relations even last that long? At least for me, I don't have a problem with INFj's usually, I just wouldn't want to be in their presence for that long, let alone marry one.

Well Vixenfox's parents were ISTp/ESTp combination; her mom is the person she is closest to, so you may want to ask her about the relationship dynamics; if your dadis ESFp/ESTp then that actually works out pretty well.

[Morcheeba]

I'd appreciate it if someone other than Maritsa could reply to my question.

[munenori2]

My dad's SLI and is exactly the same way, keeps his feelings to himself and ponders in silence. I had to get upset at my father for not telling his kids (us) that he loves us; he never used the word love and I thought that was strange about a parent who never said that to kids...I would (all the time).

That's not necessarily restricted to type. Cultural values can play a big role, particularly if the parents are first generation immigrants to somewhere like the US from more conservative cultures. Studies were conducted between second generation korean americans and their relationships with their parents that overwhelmingly revealed a tendency for children to expect what they saw on tv/other cultural vehicles of family values to happen in their familial lives. Their parents on the other hand came from a cultural milieu that found such verbal expression of feelings as superficial and unnecessary. An example of this attitude (evidenced numerous times in the study sample) was where the kid would ask their father "Do you love me? You never say it" and the father responding, confused, "I take care of you, don't I?"

They simply came out of a culture that viewed expression of affection as materially supporting someone else, even if you were kind of harsh and stern with the ones you 'loved' all the time.

[Morcheeba]

That's not necessarily restricted to type. Cultural values can play a big role, particularly if the parents are first generation immigrants to somewhere like the US from more conservative cultures. Studies were conducted between second generation korean americans and their relationships with their parents that overwhelmingly revealed a tendency for children to expect what they saw on tv/other cultural vehicles of family values to happen in their familial lives. Their parents on the other hand came from a cultural milieu that found such verbal expression of feelings as superficial and unnecessary. An example of this attitude (evidenced numerous times in the study sample) was where the kid would ask their father "Do you love me? You never say it" and the father responding, confused, "I take care of you, don't I?"

They simply came out of a culture that viewed expression of affection as materially supporting someone else, even if you were kind of harsh and stern with the ones you 'loved' all the time.

I agree with you munenori, my dad is a first generation Greek.

[marooned]

My dad is very passive and is basically controlled by my stepmom, it's ridiculous how much she wears the pants!
My dad is very subdued in alot of ways, has never really talked to much about his feelings towards me or anyone else for that matter, so we've had somewhat of a strained relationship.
I know my dad isn't happy in the relationship, he cheated a few years ago, but honestly I think he needs someone to control him, so she is very good for that.

Do you have any examples or anything more on what you mean by him needing someone else to control him? (I'm curious.) Also, if he's unhappy, why does he stay with her?

[Morcheeba]

Do you have any examples or anything more on what you mean by him needing someone else to control him? (I'm curious.) Also, if he's unhappy, why does he stay with her?

I think my dad needs someone to control him because his overall demeanor is wishy washy, he can't make up his mind about certain things, and he has a hard time talking about anything other than his work. His wife takes care of all the decision making and he just kinda goes with the flow, he never questions anything.

[Morcheeba]

No, he is not sharply judgemental, he's actually quite goofy, my stepmom makes fun of him because he doesn't quite get what seems so obvious to her. The LSI ans SLI do not fit by a long shot.

[Morcheeba]

What type do you think he is?

I was always under the impression that my dad is INFp, I think he is subdued because he takes a shitload of xanax!
I follow in his footsteps, hehe

[Krig the Viking]

I was initially thinking SEE for your dad, based solely on the photos, but your descriptions of him didn't match. IEI works for me.

I was thinking possibly ESI for you mom, based on the photos, but SEE might be an option as well. Of the two, ESI --> IEI Benefit makes better sense, I think, of the relationship.

These are all just first impressions, though.

[Morcheeba]

I was initially thinking SEE for your dad, based solely on the photos, but your descriptions of him didn't match. IEI works for me.

I was thinking possibly ESI for you mom, based on the photos, but SEE might be an option as well. Of the two, ESI --> IEI Benefit makes better sense, I think, of the relationship.

These are all just first impressions, though.

Oh god, please don't address that fat bitch as my mom, dear god, what an insult.

[1981slater]

Father: LSE
Stepmom: SEE

[Morcheeba]

Father: LSE
Stepmom: SEE

Ok, that one came out of left field! I initially typed my stepmom as SEE, but my dad being LSE, I'm not so sure. What makes you think that?

[1981slater]

Ok, that one came out of left field! I initially typed my stepmom as SEE, but my dad being LSE, I'm not so sure. What makes you think that?

Your father's body looks ish, and his smile doesn't look very natural.
Your stepmom reminds me of other SEEs.
And I guess a relation of benefit could make sense in this case.

[Krig the Viking]

Oh god, please don't address that fat bitch as my mom, dear god, what an insult.

Whoops, sorry, I wasn't thinking. I apologize.

[Beautiful sky]

Hi Morcheeba,

So, you think your dad might be INFp?

What external characteristics of the type would you say your dad resembles:

1. He has a fixed smile, smiles even when he is anxious or upset, tells something he is angry about with a smile.
2. Elegant in his dress and wearing.
3. Romantic.
4. His emotionality is of a high enough level, he understands very well the feelings of another and does not hide his own.
5. he may consider rage to be ethical, and restraint non-ethical, and, because of such will tell you that your certain emotion should be displayed at such and such a time.
6. his voice intonations are also refined, and movements are plastic and even rhythmic, does your dad walk in a gentle sway like motion?

[Morcheeba]

[quote=Maritsa33;626045]Hi Morcheeba,

So, you think your dad might be INFp?

What external characteristics of the type would you say your dad resembles:

1. He has a fixed smile, smiles even when he is anxious or upset, tells something he is angry about with a smile. He usually keeps a straight face.
2. Elegant in his dress and wearing. He dresses like a guido (not sure if that's spelled right.)
3. Romantic. I really don't know, and don't want to!
4. His emotionality is of a high enough level, he understands very well the feelings of another and does not hide his own. He is pretty restrained.
5. he may consider rage to be ethical, and restraint non-ethical, and, because of such will tell you that your certain emotion should be displayed at such and such a time. I've never seen my dad angry, he's very laid back.
6. his voice intonations are also refined, and movements are plastic and even rhythmic, does your dad walk in a gentle sway like motion? He walks slowly and yes, very gently.


I should also add that he takes alot of meds. because he has panic disorder, so that may have an effect on his behavior. But, even so, I think he would still be pretty mild mannered. He isn't very strict, whenever my stepmom wasn't around, he would pretty much let us kids do whatever we wanted, and he would goof around and treat us more like a friend than a father.

[Morcheeba]

Does anyone have any other thoughts? I'm curious to get more than just a couple people replying.

[marooned]

I was always under the impression that my dad is INFp, I think he is subdued because he takes a shitload of xanax!
I follow in his footsteps, hehe

why IEI rather than SEI?

[Morcheeba]

why IEI rather than SEI?

It's certainly a possibility, I always thought he was some kind of ethical type, just not sure which one. In that case, I'm really surprised his marriage has lasted as long as it has.

[marooned]

It's certainly a possibility, I always thought he was some kind of ethical type, just not sure which one. In that case, I'm really surprised his marriage has lasted as long as it has.

I don't know what type he is, I was just wondering why you thought IEI over SEI, as from what's been said so far it seems that both could be equally plausible. On the one hand I could see IEI wanting someone else to make all the decisions (as it takes a huge amount of strain off of getting lost in all of the doubt and uncertainty behind making every decision). But on the other hand I could see a victim having an attitude about not wanting to be subservient to someone who calls all of the shots for them. Wanting or needing someone to control them does work with Ni leading, but on the other hand I could see the victim being constantly resistant about being controlled. Given the picture of him so far, I can't actually rule out SEI as I'm not sure that SEI couldn't just as easily fall into such a thing. And it's not really down to those two, but the picture of him as Fe IP kind of works.

[mu4]

I think your stepmom is SEE and your dad is IEI. On very very little evidence.

[Morcheeba]

I think I'm in agreement with you, jeez some SEE's really piss me off, she is at the top of my list.