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Thread: What are your thoughts and opinions of self-improvement?

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    Default What are your thoughts and opinions of self-improvement?

    How do you guys conceive of self-improvement?

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    Creepy-male

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    overcoming personal dysfunctions that have a negative influence on your relationships.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brian View Post
    overcoming personal dysfunctions that have a negative influence on your relationships.
    Huh. I quite agree with that definition actually. That's kind of amazingly accurate (especially with my little Christianizing addition that counts the relationship with God as one of your relationships).
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brian View Post
    overcoming personal dysfunctions that have a negative influence on your relationships.
    If those relationship were based on your insecurities.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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  5. #5
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    If those relationship were based on your insecurities.
    What do you mean?

  6. #6
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Huginn View Post
    Only relationships? Not work/study/health/engagement (not in the marital sense)/sense of meaning or fulfilment?
    *snaps fingers*. Maybe that's why my life is so hollow and empty! I'm never disappointed in myself for not working harder, studying more, engaging with greater causes or the world around me, and I don't feel any particular lack of (and thus a desire for) a sense of meaning or fulfilment, as these things are just really alien to me and not a part of my world.

    I am, however, disappointed with myself routinely for being seemingly unable to maintain my relationships, either through not paying attention to them, or having them quietly strangled because I struggle to express myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Huginn View Post
    emotional wellbeing
    Quality of relationships = quality of life. It isn't the only component, but the other elements you can really look after yourself.

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    "You gotta make the money first"
    "Then when you get the money, you get the power"
    "Then when you get the power, Then you get the woman"

    [Ice-T]
    The problem is you broke, You ain't got no car or job
    You slow with youer hustle, You dress like a slob
    Ladies ain't looking for no brothers like this
    They want the dub-twisting ballers with the ice on their wrist
    You gotta get your cash right to get in the game
    Might have to pull a pistol, Flip some caine
    Get out in them streets and hustle hard in the rain
    Take your come up and reinvest to the game
    "You gotta make the money first"
    You need a lot to go far
    What you think is rich, I just spent on a car
    What you think is paid, I just blew on a watch
    What you think is wealthy, I just dropped on a yacht
    Flip the street cash and try to pick some stocks
    Kick back in your pad and watch it roll like crops
    But it really ain't that easy, Or we all would be rich
    One mistake, You're broke, The come up's a bitch
    Make the right moves and forget about sleep
    concentrate on the paper chase, Join the elite
    Few dun got mad cash and money to spend
    Money to straight blow and money to lend
    And only then, You made it past stage one, My friend

    [Chorus 2x]

    [Ice-T]
    Now you got the money and the cash flow thick
    But you really ain't nothing but a richer trick
    Just because you're paid, you can still get thick
    By your low life homies or skanless bitch
    You gotta move it around, put it in the right hands
    Maybe a judge, Make a PA your friend
    Understand what really moves the world
    Recognize what really moves these girls
    Juice is more important than cash for real
    Money you spend, But true power you feel
    It ain't that easy to reach
    Respect is about the hardest damn thing in the streets to get
    Make your moves correct, Watch your crew
    Watch your back, They watching you
    Anybody round you has gotta be true
    Or you never make it past stage two
    Listen, when you get the real true power, You know
    People will feel you, Wherever you go
    And when you really max this game
    You'll never have to say your name

    [Chorus]

    [Ice-T]
    Now you got the power, It's on, My friend
    Cuz the one thing women love is powerful men
    The one thing women hate are brothers that bend
    They act like they like 'em, But they only pretend
    They wanna be with that man in the V.I.
    They don't wanna stand in line
    You outta your mind?
    That other player's got cash, But no juice
    Cuz the powerful men get to choose
    From a multitude of women that be steppin in crews
    Willing to do much more than before
    Give you quick brains, It's insane
    Just what the woman'll do just for you
    Cuz if you got the power, Then they gets it too
    If you rollin benz, Then they rollin too
    If you livin phat, Then they ballin too
    That sounds stupid to you, Not to me
    They winning one move when it takes us three
    Cars, Big houses, And shopping sprees
    While most of us see the penitentiary
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brian View Post
    What do you mean?
    I've recently realized that every romantic relationship I've ever had (or even considered) has been based on trying to cover for some insecurity of mine. (I'm guessing this is probably true of like 95% of the population.) Once I fix it, I no longer need (or want) that relationship anymore. I need to base relationships/attraction on something other than insecurities, doubts, fears, and flaws.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    I've recently realized that every romantic relationship I've ever had (or even considered) has been based on trying to cover for some insecurity of mine. (I'm guessing this is probably true of like 95% of the population.) Once I fix it, I no longer need (or want) that relationship anymore. I need to base relationships/attraction on something other than insecurities, doubts, fears, and flaws.
    ??? huh? how's that joy? i guess i missed something when you changed your type.

    dunno, your answer seems kind of black and white. for myself i get into relationships for a multitude of reasons usually...and i have found that when i look back on the decisions i've made, i realize that i've always made the right decision at the time, the best one i could have made. so, when i realize that, then i start to realize that the people on my path are there for a reason and that my path....is the path less travelled. as an entp that life path totally makes sense.

    if you are an estp....what is the meaning of the people on your path for you and your life? for them and their lives? and what does your being an estp have to do with it?

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    I relate to neglecting the role of relationships in my life. It's easy to focus on tasks and work because it is a way to avoid making oneself vulnerable, which means that you don't have to risk being hurt, rejected, or criticized for not having to offer emotionally what another person might want and/or need. I really have problems with Fe type people who expect a lot of intimacy and connection at the expsense of independence and objectivity.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasputin View Post
    I relate to neglecting the role of relationships in my life. It's easy to focus on tasks and work because it is a way to avoid making oneself vulnerable, which means that you don't have to risk being hurt, rejected, or criticized for not having to offer emotionally what another person might want and/or need. I really have problems with Fe type people who expect a lot of intimacy and connection at the expsense of independence and objectivity.
    What about my post?
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasputin View Post
    I relate to neglecting the role of relationships in my life. It's easy to focus on tasks and work because it is a way to avoid making oneself vulnerable, which means that you don't have to risk being hurt, rejected, or criticized for not having to offer emotionally what another person might want and/or need. I really have problems with Fe type people who expect a lot of intimacy and connection at the expsense of independence and objectivity.
    Consider ENTp for you please.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    What about my post?
    Success is important, but being rich isn't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    I've recently realized that every romantic relationship I've ever had (or even considered) has been based on trying to cover for some insecurity of mine. (I'm guessing this is probably true of like 95% of the population.) Once I fix it, I no longer need (or want) that relationship anymore. I need to base relationships/attraction on something other than insecurities, doubts, fears, and flaws.
    Yeah, a lot of people are that way honestly. They just don't realize it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    ??? huh? how's that joy? i guess i missed something when you changed your type.

    dunno, your answer seems kind of black and white. for myself i get into relationships for a multitude of reasons usually...and i have found that when i look back on the decisions i've made, i realize that i've always made the right decision at the time, the best one i could have made. so, when i realize that, then i start to realize that the people on my path are there for a reason and that my path....is the path less travelled. as an entp that life path totally makes sense.

    if you are an estp....what is the meaning of the people on your path for you and your life? for them and their lives? and what does your being an estp have to do with it?
    Now I'm confused. Where did this "path" talk come from?
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    If you go to workshops/therapy/message boards to hear people bitch at you that you need to change your own life, and only you can do it- it is contradictory and hypocritical. It's not self-help, in other words. It's you being helped.

    Why would you tell somebody things they already know? Smart people tend to have the most fucked up problems because of how aware we are, how much we intellectually know everything, but emotionally and socially we're still lost. I don't think a lie to make people feel a bit better is all that harmful.

    If you try to help, including even saying 'you need to help yourself' (which is a form of help) you always end up making things worse. But of course, obviously, the people who run those meetings don't really care, they just are taking advantage of your emotional weakness and you're letting them. lol

    And btw it's not true that 'nobody cares', the people who do care will probably just be quiet like you and not tell you what to do so much. I think that sort of power shakes you up?

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    The very notion that you need help (Unless it's something physical or corporeal), is offensive to me.

    The very notion that other people think they can help (again, unless it's something that's actually physically real - and again whats the point cuz america is a free country, we're spoiled and educated enough to know whats what?) is even more offensive.

    If you're helped, by anything, it will be organic. It will just happen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    Now I'm confused. Where did this "path" talk come from?
    you're a smart woman, why are you confused? my statements are clear enough...you seem to be beating yourself up about relationships and attributing negative motivations for getting into relationships. it's not self supporting nor is it particularly true.

    how do you understand the meaning of the people in your life? what purposes have you served for them and what purposes have they served for you? how do these experiences fit into your spiritual purpose on the planet? what's the bigger picture here? and what growth does your experience nudge you towards?

    you can ask me about "where this comes from" as if you don't understand what i'm talking about or you can think it through. either way, i've given you some of my time and thought, in response to what you posted.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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