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Thread: PoLR in duality

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    Joy's Avatar
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    Default PoLR in duality

    How does your dual cover your PoLR? I'm particularly interested in situations where one of the people is having a lot of trouble with their areas related to their PoLR.

    Do duals just handle it for each other entirely? How does this change if the duals are friends rather than being romantically involved?

    Do they tell you not to worry about/focus on your PoLR? (After all, if there's something you need to worry about regarding it, they'll see it and can decide what to do at that point.)

    Do they tell you what you should do in regards to it? If so, do they just flat out tell you, or do they use their ego block to convince you/explain why to you?
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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Mostly they should help you feel confident in your ability to deal with the situation; they tend to make big tasks seem smaller, help the thorns in your side seem trivial and bearable. Usually our duals inspire us to make better decisions in certain areas; if you spend a lot of time with your dual, you can sometimes see the world "through their eyes," because being with them helps you think a certain way, and that can make things simpler.

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    they frame your weakness in a way that you can accept and offer simple practical solutions for solving the problems you have related to your polr. you try their solutions, and they work, so you feel better. you keep repeating this cycle and eventually you make fewer mistakes vis a vis your polr since you are in the practice of taking your dual's advice.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    I've never had an LSE cover for my polr. It's more like "that sucks" and no help is given... I definitely think it's something that would occur in a close friendship or relationship. For someone who doesn't know about socionics, it might be hard to realize that there are people who struggle with your 8th function. This has been my impression with LSEs, since they might assume that my problems with doubting my willpower and strength to overcome some situations is just silly. Even with the amount of time I've been introduced to socionics, I honestly can say that I do not understand the Ni polr... It's hard for me to think of a reality/mindset that does not consider Ni, since my tendency is to assume that everyone is proficient at it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobo View Post
    I've never had an LSE cover for my polr. It's more like "that sucks" and no help is given... I definitely think it's something that would occur in a close friendship or relationship. For someone who doesn't know about socionics, it might be hard to realize that there are people who struggle with your 8th function. This has been my impression with LSEs, since they might assume that my problems with doubting my willpower and strength to overcome some situations is just silly. Even with the amount of time I've been introduced to socionics, I honestly can say that I do not understand the Ni polr... It's hard for me to think of a reality/mindset that does not consider Ni, since my tendency is to assume that everyone is proficient at it.
    how do you think of NI in practical applicataion? just a sense of how things are going to play out?

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    how do you think of NI in practical applicataion? just a sense of how things are going to play out?
    Yeah, I would see Ni as recognizing a pattern in a given situation, and getting a vibe out of what's happening... I sometimes get one of those feelings where you know something is not right, but can't pinpoint what it is. For a practical application, it might be that a certain sequence of events seems awfully familiar, so it serves as a warning to figure what's going on that might be wrong.

    Some people also mention that Ni is related to time, which for at least one LSE I've met it's actually a sensitive subject. I remember this one time that we had agreed to go out to lunch at a certain time later on in the day, and he asked if I could not let him be late for it by giving him a call. Well, I did end up giving him a call because I knew he would not be making it on time if he had forgotten about it. I knew he was in a meeting, so I just waited for two rings and hung up, just as a reminder. For some reason, he was very grateful and happy that I did that, and in being thoughtful about the ringing. It was odd to me because I really did not see it as a big deal... We would joke around about how bad each of us were when it came to space and time, me being lost pretty much when I was driving, and him having trouble with timing . There's this other time he got pissed off when I called him out for being late, and I thought it was the strangest thing for someone to get mad about when I was just stating the fact.

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    Recently I was talking to a dual friend of mine (IEI) about relationships. I've been pretty stressed out about my seemingly continuous problems with relationships. I seem to suck at picking people who suit me well. I commit too soon.

    I also discussed some of my plans for my next relationship. He was like, "Why are you even thinking about your next relationship right now? You need to take some 'joy time'." He said a bit more on the subject, basically suggesting that I just stop worrying about relationships (since it obviously stressed me out a lot) and just focus on being happy and productive and getting my household in order (since I'm going to be living alone in like two months) and acing my classes and whatnot.

    He pretty much told me to stop worrying so much about Fi related things. He recognizes that for me it does more harm than good. He knows very little about Socionics, but he was pretty much telling me to stop focusing on my Fi PoLR.

    There's also been times when I've made moral/relationship/ethical blunders, and he's pointed them out to me in ways that I'm very receptive to. Like if I'm being a dick, he'll act sort of cranky or distant and has even bitched at me (though he wasn't very blunt about why what I was doing was a problem). It comes across as cute and motivates me to fix the situation because I want him to cheer up. By contract, lectures about how I'm being insensitive or immoral (or a sociopath!) have the opposite effect. They make me groan and role my eyes and think/say, "Ugh, whatever." Those sorts of things just make me clam up. However, if he is the one to tell me that I shouldn't do something (from an ethical perspective), I take heed. And the humorous way he does it makes me appreciate his input and follow it. He doesn't personally attack me or guilt trip me. He pretty much just tells me what I should do. Coming from him, I'm okay with that. I'd far rather just take his word for it and follow his advice than hear a lecture about why I should fix myself because it should be self-evident that the things I'm doing are immoral. He's a very principled person and I generally appreciate his reasoning, so I am totally comfortable just taking his word for it on these things. He makes it clear when I'm being a dick or when he's upset with me. And he needs and values my input as much as I need and value his. Our lives have both changed for he better since we met each other. Do you have any idea how cool it is when there's someone who is saying or doing something without considering the areas you're strong at... and when you give them your input, they're usually very appreciative. And two minutes or one text can take me from feeling blah and unmotivated to feeling amazing.

    And yes, this is non-romantic relationship. At least for now.
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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post

    Do duals just handle it for each other entirely?
    Some people succeed at developing their 5th and 6th functions, so they become good enough at them and start following their own counsel

    How does this change if the duals are friends rather than being romantically involved?
    I'd say lovers have sex and friends do not

    Do they tell you what you should do in regards to it? If so, do they just flat out tell you, or do they use their ego block to convince you/explain why to you?
    Assuming I am an ILE-Ti, SEIs tell me not to say things openly. At the same time, I tell them to become more productive: "Why don't you learn English?" "Why don't you join a gym?" "Why don't you start reading books?"
    ILE "Searcher"
    Socionics: ENTp
    DCNH: Dominant --> perhaps Normalizing
    Enneagram: 7w6 "Enthusiast"
    MBTI: ENTJ "Field Marshall" or ENTP "Inventor"
    Astrological sign: Aquarius

    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

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    It's a sense of how things will play out and it's getting a sense of how to act and prepare for this sense of what may come and using instances of the past to try and sway the course of future events.
    yes...perfect....i see this. how does Ni polr play out though? and how does somebody with Ne in the ego block assist somebody with Ni in the superego block?

    Assuming I am an ILE-Ti, SEIs tell me not to say things openly. At the same time, I tell them to become more productive: "Why don't you learn English?" "Why don't you join a gym?" "Why don't you start reading books?"
    funny...i too, am constantly told to shut up by IEI. he tries to warn me about this all the time. it must be an Fe creative strength. and yeah, i tell him to get going on all kinds of stuff, too. lol funny slater.....:-)

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

  11. #11
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    how does somebody with Ne in the ego block assist somebody with Ni in the superego block?
    Ni role [a bit hopelessly]: "I'm not sure what's going to happen. The future can't be known, it's just going to happen at random."
    Ne base: "Well, this could happen, or this... or this. Screw it, let's go skydiving!"
    Si base: "That sounds a lot more fun than ruminating and being depressed. I love you "

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    The Looks stanprollyright's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    I'd say lovers have sex and friends do not
    That's what you think... you need some better friends
    Stan is not my real name.

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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stanprollyright View Post
    That's what you think... you need some better friends
    hehehehe!
    ILE "Searcher"
    Socionics: ENTp
    DCNH: Dominant --> perhaps Normalizing
    Enneagram: 7w6 "Enthusiast"
    MBTI: ENTJ "Field Marshall" or ENTP "Inventor"
    Astrological sign: Aquarius

    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

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