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Thread: slightly sadistic people and is it type related?

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    he died with a felafel
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    Default slightly sadistic people and is it type related..?

    *this little piggy had roast beef*
    Last edited by felafel; 12-17-2010 at 04:24 AM.

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    it's Fe yeah. what else do you want to know?
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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    also - this clearly bothers me and would like to be able to find some way to counter this behavior without loosing this friendship. any thoughts?
    Perhaps you could just think of it as general banter and not read much more into it.

    I've noticed that there are some people that come up with nicknames for others, like they do it for almost everyone.

    As Oscar Wilde said, "There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about".

    So at least you are making some impression.

    Other than that don't know what to do, unless you can force yourself to ask her on a one to one to stop it as it bothers you.

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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    hi cyclops - i guess i don't understand what they get out of this...i can see they entertain themselves that way, but why not find some other way? Once i understand better, maybe then i would be able to tolerate/ignore it best..Any thoughts?
    I don't understand it either. My experience is that men do it for playful banter, sometimes half playful half serious, and women mostly just do it to be bitchy, or small minded.

    The question then could be, why be bitchy, or small minded? I don't know, just the way some people are. I just laugh it off and not show that it bothers me.

    Or what they get out of it? To be small minded (which in my opinion, although it's not a good thing, is at least slightly more excusable than being bitchy, because I suppose it's done with a certain amount of ignorance).

    Sorry if that isn't much help, i'm somewhat in the dark with it also.

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    I'd probably just stop hanging out with her.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    lol. Yes, that seems to be Fe related. I don't think it's something that you're going to be able to fix, because yes, if someone confronted me about giving them a mildly derisive nickname, I would either out loud or internally find them a poor sport.

    Here's an example of how I see something like this: I have three friends (ILE, EIE, and IEI) and the ILE and the EIE occasionally refer to the IEI as "soft head baby [his name]." It's a form of gentle ribbing, especially used when the IEI is getting over emotional about something (which he does occasionally), and it's mildly annoying to the IEI, I suppose, but I think he also sees the degree to which, while it is a term of derision, it is also a term of endearment. Maybe term of endearment + derision doesn't really work for Fi-types, in general?

    But then again, maybe your friend is just being a jerk/immature and should leave it alone. Or maybe it's one of those things where the nature of your friendship is such that one will have to deal with the other's preferences. You could probably confront the person and get her to stop, and then she'd have to deal with your preferences. She'd be annoyed, just like you're annoyed by her calling you names, but she'd deal with it, I'm sure. There's my two cents.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

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    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    hi - why would Fe bother with this? It's quite ridiculous, not funny, and at times could take the form of very clear bullying.
    I can't answer that since I don't know what the name was and I don't know the person who the name was given to...

    Entertainment I get out of calling people absurd names comes from the names being absurd, combined with the people reacting in a serious manner. (The idea of people reacting to something so absurd is amusing). There's an IEI on here I call "space plankton". He gets pissed off, and it makes me laugh. There's also another person on here I call "discoblow". I call him that because he blows, clear and simple. (He is also sort of trashy in a cocaine related way). In that case, I'm just expressing myself.
    Not really so different from what you're doing in this thread - expressing your emotions. Think of it like that, except it's compacted into a single name which I can brand you with every time I see you in order to let it be known exactly how I feel about you.

    So yeah.. in order to know why she calls you that name, I'd have to know the name and then I'd have to know you. Might need to know her, too.
    Last edited by crazedrat; 03-08-2010 at 11:52 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    interesting pov, thanks for your input. it's not a specific question about this particular name-calling. It's more of a general question re: why Fe would be used in such way, generally speaking. At any rate...when you say "in order to let it be known how i feel about you" does this imply your feelings about someone are always constant: you'll always call this person you mention space plankton because....you assume he'll find it annoying each and every time you do..? what happens if he decides to ignore you calling him/her that? Does the way you feel about this person change?

    Also - why is it important to you to let people know how you feel about them? See, sth like that would just be redundant to my mind in the sense that i think why should anyone give a rat's ass how i or other people feel about them? I look at it this way: so, someone feels this way about a 3rd person - ok, but who gives a fuck about that, the earth keeps doing its thing, gravity does its thing, in general life goes on punctuated by people's daily defecation and other such things..Anyway, not sure if i'm explaining myself clearly here, i'm tired. cheers
    letting it be known how you feel establishes clear boundaries and a code of conduct. It is basically an attempt to control a social situation. If you're asking me why people attempt to control social situations: well.. I duno, why do we do anything? Why do we attempt to understand what is happening around us?

    The feelings about the person as a whole don't remain constant, but the feelings centered around the name and the reasons I gave him the name in the first place are distinct from the feelings I have for the person as a whole. Sometimes if the name comes from a place close to heart where it represents how I feel about the person altogether; i.e. discoblow (who is a cunt)... I would change the name if I had a change of heart for discojoe. But that is very unlikely. So the name also carries a certain weight to it, which varies. There is also that I typically won't change how I feel about a person unless they demonstrate a good reason for me to. How I feel about them is derived from their patterns of behavior; in order for me to change how I felt about them, they would have to change their patterns of behavior. (That is unlikely). Changing patterns of behavior is different than literally changing behavior. Like if a person decided to start ignoring me, where before they were reacting to me, I would consider that consistent with their tendency to struggle for power. So the patterns are abstract notions less related to literal behavior and more related to their consequences.

    If he started ignoring me I would either keep calling him it because I was still amused by knowing he is deliberately ignoring me.. which is still another form of a reaction.. that or I would stop calling him the name if I thought he was legitimately no longer giving a shit. I also might stop calling him it if I liked him enough not to want to piss him off, and he was getting truly pissed off. (But usually the names I choose will not truly piss you off, unless I am trying to truly piss you off or you are too sensitive; in which case I'll keep calling you the name to teach you to be less sensitive)

    There are also cases where I have called people names behind their back in the presence of other people, and this was very entertaining. In these cases I didn't like something about the people but couldn't seem to show them naturally in their presence (Although I do this much less nowdays, because I have started to favor destroying dysfunctional relationships entirely over changing myself or my behavior to fit the relationship). In those times I am simply letting off the tension I felt having been around you and not able to express myself naturally. And sometimes I will get carried away with it; overly entertained.. and end up seeing how far I can push the boundaries of releasing tension, as if it's some kind of massive release of my lifes repression. In those cases I think it's possible a person is associating parts of their past with you and then releasing a massive weight of emotional baggage by telling you off.
    Last edited by crazedrat; 03-09-2010 at 05:01 AM.
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    It is the relationship Fe has with Ni and Ti.
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    I had words here once, but I didn't feed them Khola's Avatar
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    I do this.
    Hello, my name is Bee. Pleased to meet you .



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    Yeah it's easy to say "what's the big deal? It's just a silly name." But that's totally missing the point.

    It is mean and it's done in a typical girl clique way. There's a lot underlying that comment.

    Girls do that verbal kind of thing to be jerks, where as guys fight to be jerks. It's a way for her to get the other girls rallied against "melinda" (otherwise she'd do it to her face).

    Girls do that to 1) secure their own position in the clique (by either being the "leader" girl who identifies the "problem girl" to make fun of, or the followers who will go along with it, in hopes they won't be made fun of/kicked out of the clique themselves.

    It's something that happens with very insecure girls because it makes them feel powerful. Just like with bullies who beat up other guys. But this is done verbally and it affects your social position.

    I've seen this happen in several groups of girls from elementary school onto now. Luckily, I was never ousted, but I saw what happened to the girls who were, and decided to never again be a part of that.

    The interesting thing is, if you don't care about your position in the clique (let's say you have other groups of friends, etc.), then they don't have the power over you. They'll sense that and start to worry about their own position, as perhaps you'll be the one to be "leader" and be nicer to you. But it'd be better just to get rid of these friends as they clearly suck. It's a very middle school situation and why put up w/ negativity like that?
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    I don't really understand this example. Is it that she's making fun of you behind your back to get laughs from other people as though she doesn't really respect you (and perhaps in general does this with everyone she knows, in which case maybe it's just an off way of expressing affection)? Is it just calling you a different name behind your back, or does she also say other things? Does she like you or not? Is she a "peripheral friend" who's closer to an acquaintance and it's some kind of group thing, or a closer friend? (I think the part that I found kind of weird is that this has been going on for years... as in, wouldn't it get old?)

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    I love watching beta vs. delta interpretations of the same event. Not only the interpretations, but the difference in response, language and everything.

    Also, it doesn't need to have a connection. The connection can just be that you mentioned the name once. It's associated with you.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

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    Yeah that's why I found it interesting too, silver. (Not because I really care about the whiny girl attempting to underhandedly bash the function Fe.)
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratXII View Post
    Yeah that's why I found it interesting too, silver. (Not because I really care about the whiny girl attempting to underhandedly bash the function Fe.)
    I greatly approve.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    I must really offend people without realizing it because this, to me, would not even be something even remotely on my radar as being something that would upset someone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    I greatly approve.
    Yeah I think it's hilarious the girl will correct people who respond to her, basically showing she already has the answer she's looking for and is just interested in bitching about Fe. I would be okay with this if the corrections weren't shallow minded. (i.e. she doesn't see the connection despite there being one). Probably due to Ti polr.
    Last edited by crazedrat; 03-10-2010 at 05:14 PM.
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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    also, no one seems to address whether this is type-related...? it was, after all, one of the questions i asked.
    I think it is to an extent, but there is always variances in the complexity of people to consider.

    I'll go so far to say it's not something that an ISTp particular likes (I take you are ISTp from what you've been saying).

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    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    also, no one seems to address whether this is type-related...? it was, after all, one of the questions i asked.
    Are you feigning stupidity now? Do you think a long detailed explanation on Fe as it pertains to Ni and Ti might imply it is associated with Beta? (Yes). Do you think numerous Betas speaking up and saying they do the same thing might imply it's associated with Beta? (Yes). Why do you insist on asking questions when the answer is right in front of you?

    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    what? the way it works in here is, if you wanna bull about your own interpretations is you start your own thread. your feedback is useless at this point so far off-track it is; if you're confused, read my first post. @jessica, you too included, i don't see what you think you're contributing with your one-liner. if you really really have 5 words to say that are of no use to no one, just start your own thread.
    Alright Yoda, listen. Don't tell me how it works in here. This forum is my pissing grounds.
    Now you tell me I'm confused about the functions? I gave you a extensive explanation of not only how the name branding is related to Fe, but also how it's particularly related to Fe blocked with Ni and associated with Ti. You didn't understand this part, and then you had the dumb arrogance to tell me I was wrong. (A knee jerk reaction of someone who's in over their head). No, you are wrong. You should be grateful I took the time to give you such expert feedback on this stupid question. (Anyone who knows enough about the functions can answer this question on their own)
    Last edited by crazedrat; 03-10-2010 at 07:45 PM.
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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratXII View Post
    Yeah I think it's hilarious the girl will correct people who respond to her, basically showing she already has the answer she's looking for and is just interested in bitching about Fe. I would be okay with this if the corrections weren't shallow minded. (i.e. she doesn't see the connection despite there being one). Probably due to Ti polr.
    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratXII
    other ramblings
    What's funny about you is that you actually said - and made a thread about it - that you were going to leave the forum because discojoe was calling you names.

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    I think discojoe has no point when he does it. Much different from what I just did there.
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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratXII View Post
    Do not try to protect your dual right now. She is out of line and she will be punished for it.
    I'm simply pointing out your ridiculous hypocrisy, maybe you miss the irony of your "lol" or w/e it is you are doing at something which you yourself were - rather are - very sensitive about.

    Or maybe you can't see it/won't acknowledge it? Have fun

    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratXII
    I think discojoe has no point when he does it. Much different from what I just did there.
    Yeah sure, don't think your own glaring insecurities don't shine through.

    At least fellafell had the "bravery" if you want to call it that - of being honest about his situation, and he was given responses accordingly, unlike you who it seemed simply resorted to a little hissing fit.

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    Do not misrepresent me. Everything I said had a clear point to it. Now go away, I'm not interested in your knight in shining armor routine.
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    Creepy-Cyclops

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratXII
    Do not misrepresent me. Everything I said had a clear point to it. Now go away, I'm not interested in your knight in shining armor routine.
    .........

    Yeah it seems i'm right, you don't get it. Keep being a baby and i'm sorry for engaging you. I'll leave you to it after all like you say.

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    No, you don't get it you fuck. I understand I attack people, like discojoe. You think I don't get that? You think it's really that fucking hard to understand what you're saying? A fucking elementary schooler can understand that. It's not brilliant. It's not a fucking revelation. What I'm fucking saying, is that I do it for a reason, and I explain the reasons. When I do it, it is justified. Now shut the fuck up you little fucking prick. Do you want to see your dick in this girl? Is that what this is about? God, get fucking lost.

    Let's not forget that this cunt is actually the one who began being rude. If you go back in this thread and look, you will see people reply to her question, and then she quotes them and tells them their feedback is useless and wrong...when infact it's her who doesn't know jack shit. She did it to me, she did it to a few other people. And you know what? That kind of fucking ignorance is something I punish. I attack it like a rabid dog. That's not gonna change and it's not something I'm ashamed of.
    Last edited by crazedrat; 03-10-2010 at 07:39 PM.
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    When I attack people it's because I have anger problems.

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    It doesn't matter to me if you started this thread. It's my thread now. And I order you to shutup. I am your superior, and you WILL obey me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazedratXII View Post
    It doesn't matter to me if you started this thread. It's my thread now. And I order you to shutup. I am your superior, and you WILL obey me.
    Why do you post stuff like this?

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    i'll sure leave you at it, and, frankly, who wouldn't under the circumstances: you've now popped the laxatives and yet no toilet to be found. what a stinky mess!
    I think he was giving you an out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    LOL that's what trolls are for, dolphin. Did you actually have sth to contribute or you just bored? cheers
    Crazed is a lot of uncouth things, but he isn't a troll, and he isn't a punching bag. Bathroom related insults are not appropriate just because you're on a public forum and have the benefit of anonymity. You're not making yourself any better by engaging in talk of laxatives.

    I think you're being entirely too insular in defining the value of this discussion by assuming you can dictate the responses to custom fit your needs. The nature of this forum and Socionics theory in general is that people can extrapolate theoretically and that conjectures can be formed or insights shared that aren't entirely fixated upon one person's query.

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    The question has been answered. From now on, no one in this thread is allowed to acknowledge the question.
    You're only attempting to redirect the conversation back toward the question as a power play to gain control of the discussion again and drown out people from speaking.
    I refuse to believe you are stupid enough to still be interested in what was a dumb question to begin with, and now has been so thoroughly answered. Now, I have ordered you to shut up. And I expect you to obey that order.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dolphin View Post
    I think you're being entirely too insular in defining the value of this discussion by assuming you can dictate the responses to custom fit your needs. The nature of this forum and Socionics theory in general is that people can extrapolate theoretically and that conjectures can be formed or insights shared that aren't entirely fixated upon one person's query.
    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    well, please do state your opinion about the initial question then. i've mentioned several times that i'd like people to contribute, that's why i posted to begin with.
    ^That is basically gold.


    Anyway, I refuse to believe you are interested in more input on this question. I actually suspect you were never interested in input at all. I get this by watching how you corrected people when they gave you a response. Obviously you already have formed your thoughts on what the correct answer is. What I think you were actually interested in was bitching about Fe. (Likely because it is your polr function)
    Even if you somehow are genuinely interested in this very stupid question, I am not going to allow this discussion to continue, because I consider it a waste of this forums expert thinking ability. It's a waste of resources, and I won't allow it. Now, move along.
    Last edited by crazedrat; 03-11-2010 at 06:39 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by he died with a felafel View Post
    there was never any Fe bashing.
    Yes there was. Right now you are suffering from false memories. Basically human beings have the capacity to rewrite history in order to suite their fantasy ideals. And they actually do it on a very regular basis. Well, that's what you're doing right now.
    I want to make it clear:
    No one in this thread is to speak any more about the question.

    Also, I would actually like you to start using the edit button instead of double posting. It is much better that way.
    Last edited by crazedrat; 03-11-2010 at 07:06 AM.
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    I really think your just being overly sensitive, maybe not even type related as I know estjs who do shit like this.
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    crazed, I don't know why I once found this exact behavior irritating, but now find it very much endearing and entertaining. Probably because it is not currently directed at me. And also maybe since you've figured out that you're IEI, you feel free to be even more over-the-top with it, and I love over-the-top. (also you're probably right... but you're also somewhat wrong in the way that IEIs normally are, but also you're probably right. IEIs tend to cut to what seems to the be the core of the issue, and are usually right about this, but the non-core stuff does sorta count. Sometimes. Maybe.)

    felafel, the girl you're dealing with is a likely EIE, but we (obviously) can't type her based on this one incident. I'm sure people would be glad to try to type her with some more information and possibly some pictures (you know, so I can analyze the curvature of her spine and the length of her head muscles, etc). Also, you could probably stand to be a bit more open-minded about what constitutes not only a response that could be useful to you, but also what constitutes a response that is appropriate for an internet forum of free discussion.

    Also, also, agreed with crazed, editing posts is much better than double posting. However, one point on your side is that crazed, over the course of this thread, assigned you two different polrs (Ti and Fe). (sorry crazed, I'm sure you just changed your mind, but reading through the thread, it was a little funny).

    EDIT: Also lol + win @diana for calling her Melinda. I kinda wanna call felafel Melinda now too...
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    yeah I thought ENFp until cyclops identified her as an identical, and not a dual. so then i changed it to ISTp
    INTp

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