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Thread: How empathetic and sympathetic are SLIs-ISTps?

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    Default How empathetic and sympathetic are SLIs-ISTps?

    When you are really upset, do ISTps do anything to help? Or do they just sit there blankly?

    Are they sympathetic/empathetic to others being sad, upset, etc? Or do they just ignore that of feel annoyed by it?

    I've noticed w/ my bf on the phone I can't tell from his tone/words at all if he cares if I'm upset (like if I'm crying), so I will have to ask if he cares and he'll only say something like "yup." (which doesn't really tell me very much). Or something like "Well, I didn't hang up (so must care)." (which isn't exactly reassuring).
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    When you are really upset, do ISTps do anything to help? Or do they just sit there blankly?

    Are they sympathetic/empathetic to others being sad, upset, etc? Or do they just ignore that of feel annoyed by it?

    I've noticed w/ my bf on the phone I can't tell from his tone/words at all if he cares if I'm upset (like if I'm crying), so I will have to ask if he cares and he'll only say something like "yup." (which doesn't really tell me very much). Or something like "Well, I didn't hang up (so must care)." (which isn't exactly reassuring).
    yes, depending on health levels they can be VERY empathetic

    I know one personally whose like this but you probably wouldnt know it. She has a hard time expressing her emotions. This can manifest as not being able to say the right things or console someone in the right way when needed.

    Remember that your BF has Fe Polr. Judging by his tone, or how he says something, isn't going to be the best gauge of that. If he really cares about you, he is empathetic. As is a truth with all good relationships
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    When you are really upset, do ISTps do anything to help? Or do they just sit there blankly?

    Are they sympathetic/empathetic to others being sad, upset, etc? Or do they just ignore that of feel annoyed by it?

    I've noticed w/ my bf on the phone I can't tell from his tone/words at all if he cares if I'm upset (like if I'm crying), so I will have to ask if he cares and he'll only say something like "yup." (which doesn't really tell me very much). Or something like "Well, I didn't hang up (so must care)." (which isn't exactly reassuring).

    Yeah they just sit there. Fe-POLR. A couple times, if i'd complain of something, the SLI I knew would try to use an empathetic expression like "that's TERRIBLE" or "that's HORRIBLE" but he would use a tone that didn't really match (hard to describe but it was kind of his usual brusque, serious tone ). And he wouldn't really know what else to say. But I could tell he meant it. I was just a little taken aback each time. . .

    I did notice, however that when it comes to someone else experiencing physical discomfort, there's no mistaking it--SLI most definitely empathizes, NOT verbally but through action to minimize that discomfort. It seemed very important to him, and often were things I would overlook (and then feel guilty that I overlooked those things). Instead I would be busy concentrating more on reassuring people and listening carefully to everything they had to say, and trying to figure out what was going on, etc.
    Last edited by Suz; 03-05-2010 at 03:36 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by thePirate View Post
    yes, depending on health levels they can be VERY empathetic

    I know one personally whose like this but you probably wouldnt know it. She has a hard time expressing her emotions. This can manifest as not being able to say the right things or console someone in the right way when needed.

    Remember that your BF has Fe Polr. Judging by his tone, or how he says something, isn't going to be the best gauge of that. If he really cares about you, he is empathetic. As is a truth with all good relationships
    Interesting. How do I tell if he is empathetic/cares about me, if he is not good w/ the Fe? (saying the right things, consoling, etc.) I know he "cares" but I can't tell how much.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    Interesting. How do I tell if he is empathetic/cares about me, if he is not good w/ the Fe? (saying the right things, consoling, etc.) I know he "cares" but I can't tell how much.
    Look at his actions more than his words.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Yeah they just sit there. Fe-POLR. A couple times, if i'd complain of something, the SLI I knew would try to use an empathetic expression like "that's TERRIBLE" or "that's HORRIBLE" but he would use a tone that didn't really match (hard to describe but it was kind of his usual brusque, serious tone ). And he wouldn't really know what else to say. But I could tell he meant it. I was just a little taken aback each time. . .

    I did notice, however that when it comes to someone else experiencing physical discomfort, SLI most definitely empathizes, NOT verbally but through action to minimize that discomfort. It seemed very important to him, and often were things I would overlook (and then feel guilty that I overlooked those things). Instead I would be busy concentrating more on reassuring people and listening carefully to everything they had to say, and trying to figure out what was going on, etc.
    Ok, yeah I think I've been taking this really personally. I don't care if he expresses it, but I want him to feeel it, and It's hard to tell how he feels of course (with him being an ISTp).
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    Interesting. How do I tell if he is empathetic/cares about me, if he is not good w/ the Fe? (saying the right things, consoling, etc.) I know he "cares" but I can't tell how much.
    You know this is honestly a tough question for me because this was partly what let me to start re-researching my type. Whenever I was around this girl for a time, she made me feel like just another person. I really had no idea that she cared for me and otherwise would have thought I was just someone else in her book.

    Now that I know her better its a little different. I want to tell you to gauge them by their actions, not by how they say something. This girl for instance baked for me. I didn't take it as anything special, but it was her taking care of my Si needs. Basically, if they makes effort to take care of your comfort needs and offers you advice on how to productively better your life, without asking for it, theres generally a good chance that they care about you.

    Another way is to start up an Fi conversation,.

    Your going to have to be the one to initiate it. Say your piece and then hear him out. I find generally SLIs are receptive to this approach, they like talking about Fi related stuff. In this way, they express how they feel. You might even see some Fe there ;D

    It will be in a generally subdued manner, its not going to be some wild explosive emotion, so in this sense you should appreciate and enjoy his sentiments. Looking for expressions of love for him through his polr though, isn't going to happen. Its like asking you to explain your love for him through the use of logic, and to make sure there are no inconsistencies.
    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    It really depends on the situation.

    A guaranteed empathy from me usually comes form people standing up to authority figures. These past few days kids from the local Uni and State schools have been standing up for what they believe are incredibly unfair budget cuts (something I agree with them for, but not necessarily agree with their methods.)

    Davis Police Ready For Rowdy Rallies - Sacramento News Story - KCRA Sacramento

    Watching and reading shit like that, even If I didn't believe in their cause or thought they'd be wrong to do it, riles me up and makes me very emphatic towards the students.

    Yeah, I fucking hate cops.
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    lol omg Pirate, I cannot imagine trying to explain my love for him using logic without inconsistencies! That's a great example because I am asking him to do the reverse, where as I really couldn't do that.

    I guess normally, I read a lot into someone's tone. And I've mostly dated either feelers (ESFp, ISFp, INFp, ENFp) or an ENTp (who valued Fe a lot and used it pretty well), so their tone usually did mean it was how they felt.

    But I guess I have to see that, like you said, the lack of Fe doesn't mean he doesn't give a crap. It's just hard because he's really busy, and all of his female friends hit on him, and he's usually exhausted, so I think we've ended up fighting a lot because of those things.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    When you are really upset, do ISTps do anything to help? Or do they just sit there blankly?

    Are they sympathetic/empathetic to others being sad, upset, etc? Or do they just ignore that of feel annoyed by it?

    I've noticed w/ my bf on the phone I can't tell from his tone/words at all if he cares if I'm upset (like if I'm crying), so I will have to ask if he cares and he'll only say something like "yup." (which doesn't really tell me very much). Or something like "Well, I didn't hang up (so must care)." (which isn't exactly reassuring).
    It depends what it is. If it's something practical where I can do something, then yeah, i'll tend to try.

    If the person is crying or being hyper emotional, I don't know what to do and figure i'm best staying out their way, best I can usually say is, "eh, what's wrong", and sort of pat them on the shoulder or something, mostly though it leaves me feeling somewhat bewilidered.

    What do you have to cry about? Surely it can't be that bad (see, I tried just there, so make of that what you will). On thinking about it in past (it's been a long time since i've been around someone crying) I could actually imagine myself saying "stop crying", which sounds kinda horrible I suppose but my intention is that if they stop crying then they will feel better and I am more able to talk to them to assist them in some fashion, if need be. (lol @ that reasoning).

    It's just hard because he's really busy, and all of his female friends hit on him,
    Please stop worrying about things that aren't true. (see, I tried again).

    I mean, if his female palls are REALLY hitting on him, then why is he still around them, maybe he should have some more respect for you like I assume you do for him, so talk to him about it, and see if it's really true, then see how you feel and we can talk about what he says and see if it makes sense (that's me trying again, it seems).

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    One more story, I remember I used to date a girl who seemed convinced I was seeing other people, for a night or whatever it was. Anyway she used to accuse me of stuff I wasn't doing, even when I denied it she wouldn't believe me. I remember thinking that if i'm going to get accused of stuff i'm not doing I may as well do it anyway, as i'm still going to get accused of it.

    Sounds like there needs to be some more trust there. (if that's what it is at least in part about, assuming so since you say all his female pals "hit" on him).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    One more story, I remember I used to date a girl who seemed convinced I was seeing other people, for a night or whatever it was. Anyway she used to accuse me of stuff I wasn't doing, even when I denied it she wouldn't believe me. I remember thinking that if i'm going to get accused of stuff i'm not doing I may as well do it anyway, as i'm still going to get accused of it.

    Sounds like there needs to be some more trust there. (if that's what it is at least in part about, assuming so since you say all his female pals "hit" on him).
    Good points Cyclops. Thing is, he's agreed with me that about 4 of them are in fact hitting on him (right in front of me -- it's pretty obvious). But he doesn't like conflict, and so doesn't want to tell them not to. He doesn't want to make an awkward situation is what he says. With one, he finally agreed to send her an email asking that she stop it. I was glad he did that. But there are still a few others that he won't say anything to, so I can't go to certain parties where they'll be. It's not his fault they are flirting with him (the girls initiate it) but the problem is he doesn't walk away or do anything about it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    When you are really upset, do ISTps do anything to help? Or do they just sit there blankly?

    Are they sympathetic/empathetic to others being sad, upset, etc? Or do they just ignore that of feel annoyed by it?

    I've noticed w/ my bf on the phone I can't tell from his tone/words at all if he cares if I'm upset (like if I'm crying), so I will have to ask if he cares and he'll only say something like "yup." (which doesn't really tell me very much). Or something like "Well, I didn't hang up (so must care)." (which isn't exactly reassuring).
    Jewels,

    We are very empathetic, perhaps the most so of all the types, because we are so in tune with the emotions of others, we must avoid them.

    Seriously, I do think we are an empathetic bunch. We just can't let people get too close. If you are crying, I don't know what to do to help. (Crying is the worst!) Crying is Kryptonite to the ISTp. Just tell us what we can do to fix it! Not running away (Hanging up) is a huge ISTp give. If you were on the phone with me, crying, about something, and I can't fix it, what am I supposed to do? I Can't fix it!
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    Are they sympathetic/empathetic to others being sad, upset, etc? Or do they just ignore that of feel annoyed by it?
    I don`t have much experience, but I know one guy who is ISTp for sure. He is definitely empathetic to others, but nevertheless I`m not sure if I could imagine him giving advice in such situations or "discussing" emotional problems. Instead he seems to use every opportunity to give practical assistance while he empathizes with someone.

    An example: This ISTp guy I mentioned was in my class. One girl was always very nervous while giving presentations. It was always really difficult for her. One time when she started reporting in front of class he stood up while she was talking and prepared the overhead projector, so that she could use it immediately. She forgot to do it, because of her nervosity, therefore he did it for her.
    This guy is so wonderful
    Maybe this example doesn`t sound outstanding. But he is like this all the time and that IS outstanding in my opinion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    It depends what it is. If it's something practical where I can do something, then yeah, i'll tend to try.

    If the person is crying or being hyper emotional, I don't know what to do and figure i'm best staying out their way, best I can usually say is, "eh, what's wrong", and sort of pat them on the shoulder or something, mostly though it leaves me feeling somewhat bewilidered.

    What do you have to cry about? Surely it can't be that bad (see, I tried just there, so make of that what you will). On thinking about it in past (it's been a long time since i've been around someone crying) I could actually imagine myself saying "stop crying", which sounds kinda horrible I suppose but my intention is that if they stop crying then they will feel better and I am more able to talk to them to assist them in some fashion, if need be. (lol @ that reasoning).

    Please stop worrying about things that aren't true. (see, I tried again).
    Ditto.
    Last edited by Cyrano; 03-05-2010 at 06:40 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by LokiVanguard View Post
    It really depends on the situation.

    A guaranteed empathy from me usually comes form people standing up to authority figures. These past few days kids from the local Uni and State schools have been standing up for what they believe are incredibly unfair budget cuts (something I agree with them for, but not necessarily agree with their methods.)

    Davis Police Ready For Rowdy Rallies - Sacramento News Story - KCRA Sacramento

    Watching and reading shit like that, even If I didn't believe in their cause or thought they'd be wrong to do it, riles me up and makes me very emphatic towards the students.

    Yeah, I fucking hate cops.
    that's cool...I knew SLIs are passionate about some things!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyrano View Post
    Jewels,

    We are very empathetic, perhaps the most so of all the types, because we are so in tune with the emotions of others, we must avoid them.

    Seriously, I do think we are an empathetic bunch. We just can't let people get too close. If you are crying, I don't know what to do to help. (Crying is the worst!) Crying is Kryptonite to the ISTp. Just tell us what we can do to fix it! Not running away (Hanging up) is a huge ISTp give. If you were on the phone with me, crying, about something, and I can't fix it, what am I supposed to do? I Can't fix it!
    Ditto also, esp the bolded part.

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    I think it depends a lot on how cool they are, really.
    If they are not running away from their emotions or basking in Fe polr; if they don't succumb to paralysis or passivity about 'having to deal with emotions', they are pretty good at empathy (see Cyrano).

    I know some SLI women who are very good at this, really - very understanding. But I think it's easier for dudes to have 'emotional underdevelopment' and then have it combined with their POLR stuff, so they can avoid it or not deal with it, etc.

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    If I'm upset, my husband doesn't show his empathy, but it is there. He'll end up taking care of something I usually take care of, or do something else in an attempt to make me feel better. Weak Fe - so no outward show of it. So he uses the Si instead. "You might like to take a nap." "How about if I take the kids out for a bit so you can have some quiet?" "I'll take care of dinner tonight. You relax." It isn't always immediate though. Sometimes I'll be upset and then he'll do something nice later in the day.
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    Oh, yeah, and waht Cyrano said too. The Si + Te thing = problem solving and fixing stuff. I have been upset about something and he starts problem solving and figuring out a way to fix it. The Si alone stuff is more when it isn't something he can fix, like if I'm hormonal and sad or something. There's no fixing that so it's just about providing comfort.

    There have been times where someone does something to upset me and he'll say, "Well dont' hang out with her anymore." Which honestly isn't very useful. I think he figures the problem is solved at that point. LOL. He'll often take care of dinner or whatever in those cases too, though.
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    ISTp's can be very empathetic towards people and animals, sure, why not, they are human.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariella View Post
    Oh, yeah, and waht Cyrano said too. The Si + Te thing = problem solving and fixing stuff. I have been upset about something and he starts problem solving and figuring out a way to fix it. The Si alone stuff is more when it isn't something he can fix, like if I'm hormonal and sad or something. There's no fixing that so it's just about providing comfort.

    There have been times where someone does something to upset me and he'll say, "Well dont' hang out with her anymore." Which honestly isn't very useful. I think he figures the problem is solved at that point. LOL. He'll often take care of dinner or whatever in those cases too, though.
    aww that's nice! He sounds like such a good person I think things like that would cheer me up too.
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    Yes, I find them very empathetic. If you're crying over something they think is trivial, though, they're usually confused as to why you're upset over something easily fixable. They might even think you're just doing it for attention if they can't connect with the reason you're upset. The guys I think find it harder to sympathize.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    When you are really upset, do ISTps do anything to help? Or do they just sit there blankly?

    Are they sympathetic/empathetic to others being sad, upset, etc? Or do they just ignore that of feel annoyed by it?

    I've noticed w/ my bf on the phone I can't tell from his tone/words at all if he cares if I'm upset (like if I'm crying), so I will have to ask if he cares and he'll only say something like "yup." (which doesn't really tell me very much). Or something like "Well, I didn't hang up (so must care)." (which isn't exactly reassuring).
    Who knows what's going on inside their head when an emotional situation is in front of them... I try to avoid emotional situations, especially if I find them unnecessary. I bet most are the same way, but they probably would not be comfortable engaging in emotional situations. I really doubt that it's because of being annoyed, it's more like being uncomfortable and not confident in their abilities to handle the situation as they think it's supposed to be handled.

    Sounds like your bf has the Fe-polr colored glasses on . When we don't remove those polr glasses we can't see things with clarity.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobo View Post
    Who knows what's going on inside their head when an emotional situation is in front of them... I try to avoid emotional situations, especially if I find them unnecessary. I bet most are the same way, but they probably would not be comfortable engaging in emotional situations. I really doubt that it's because of being annoyed, it's more like being uncomfortable and not confident in their abilities to handle the situation as they think it's supposed to be handled.

    Sounds like your bf has the Fe-polr colored glasses on . When we don't remove those polr glasses we can't see things with clarity.
    NF's and most F's think that emotions are necessary, how can you have typed yourself EII when you don't value emotions? That doesn't make any sense.

    If you're not comfortable engaging in emotional situations then you are a T type.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    NF's and most F's think that emotions are necessary, how can you have typed yourself EII when you don't value emotions? That doesn't make any sense.

    If you're not comfortable engaging in emotional situations then you are a T type.
    Emotions are very necessary, and I value them. However, situations where people are crying hysterically and there is drama involved, I try to stay away as best I can. It affects my inner peace.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobo View Post
    Emotions are very necessary, and I value them. However, situations where people are crying hysterically and there is drama involved, I try to stay away as best I can. It affects my inner peace.
    EII reach out to help people in that situation, to negotiate them to calm down by comforting words and sympathy; it doesn't disturb our inner peace. To comfort is what we are made for. That disruption is chacteristing of T type. T types prefer even emotions or comedy. Actually, both T and F can cry hysterically, depending upon the situation at hand, but F types are likely to submit to a person with strong emotions because they "feel" bad and feel the emotions of the person and sympathize and reach to console.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  28. #28
    xyz's Avatar
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    I'm emphatic when I wanna be.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    I guess I am empathetic based on context.

    Sometimes people are their own worst enemy, and I find it difficult to lend an ear instead of a more-justified critical assessment. This tendency has been mellowing with age - people are going to do what they want regardless. To paraphrase one of the greats:

    "Even if you burst with indignation, still they will carry on."

    I'm not all rough edges, however - my last girlfriend coined me, "tenderheart bear".
    SLI/ISTp -- Te subtype

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    EII reach out to help people in that situation, to negotiate them to calm down by comforting words and sympathy; it doesn't disturb our inner peace. To comfort is what we are made for. That disruption is chacteristing of T type. T types prefer even emotions or comedy. Actually, both T and F can cry hysterically, depending upon the situation at hand, but F types are likely to submit to a person with strong emotions because they "feel" bad and feel the emotions of the person and sympathize and reach to console.

    This is a superficial understanding and based more on MBTI than Socionics.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariella View Post
    This is a superficial understanding and based more on MBTI than Socionics.
    I agree, and it sounds more like Fe than Fi, no? I know I internalize people's sadness or anger or happiness for that matter, quite a bit. If you're just expressing comfort without really feeling what the other person is feeling, that's Fe. and it makes sense because Maritsa is IEI.
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    I'm emphatic when I wanna be.
    I hope, you don`t mind my question, LokiVanguard.
    Does that mean you never really empathize with someone?
    Or did I misunderstand?


    I agree, and it sounds more like Fe than Fi, no? I know I internalize people's sadness or anger or happiness for that matter, quite a bit. If you're just expressing comfort without really feeling what the other person is feeling, that's Fe. and it makes sense because Maritsa is IEI.
    I didn`t know empathy is linked to Fi... Why is that?

    And shouldn`t then IEI also be able to empathize with someone very well? Aren`t 7th and 8th function strong ones? I don`t think I`m more able to empathize than ESEs or IEIs I know... And to be honest -- I thought IEIs are more empathic than EIIs... (or at least than I am). How do you think the difference between Fi ego and Fi 8th/7th function manifests? Do you have some real life experiences you want to tell?

    I always thought IEIs are as able to empathize as EIIs but in addition they try to influence the situation...

    PS: What I wrote has no relation to the sentence about Maritsas type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sasha View Post
    I didn`t know empathy is linked to Fi... Why is that?

    And shouldn`t then IEI also be able to empathize with someone very well? Aren`t 7th and 8th function strong ones? I don`t think I`m more able to empathize than ESEs or IEIs I know... And to be honest -- I thought IEIs are more empathic than EIIs... (or at least than I am). How do you think the difference between Fi ego and Fi 8th/7th function manifests? Do you have some real life experiences you want to tell?

    I always thought IEIs are as able to empathize as EIIs but in addition they try to influence the situation...

    PS: What I wrote has no relation to the sentence about Maritsas type.

    Well I dont know.. .I was asking. I'm still trying to figure out the distinction between the two.

    I thought Fi was about feeling emotion internally, recognizing internal emotional states in others on a one-on-one basis and wanting to do something about it.

    And my impression of Fe is that it's more the ability to sense the mood of a group and embody that mood, and just being able to express emotion well in general.

    And yes the Ego vs Id functions--I think the distinction between those rests in intent, i.e. an EII or IEE might happen to use Fe in the process of trying to reach their Fi goal or carry out their Fi action (translation: happened to smile/laugh trying to make someone feel better), whereas an IEI or EIE in the process of trying to reach their Fe goal happen to achieve some Fi along the way (happened to make someone feel nice because of a smile/laugh meant to embody the group's mood).

    I could be wrong or off. . .I'm admittedly a noob. this is my understanding currently. Please correct me if i'm wrong, I'd like to learn. . .
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    Are they sympathetic/empathetic to others being sad, upset, etc? Or do they just ignore that of feel annoyed by it?
    My SLI brother is very sympathetic to others being sad. He usually doesn't see it coming :-p, but he always takes it seriously. He broke up with his girlfriend recently, which he was really dreading.. because he said he couldn't handle seeing her in tears and was scared that he'd be tempted to not go through with it. :-p Afterwards, he looked like he'd been through the wars - sat around outside with me and a cousin with his head down, saying not much of anything apart from mentioning that she was crying.. They can be a pretty soft-hearted bunch I think. :-p
    "Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."

  35. #35
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    When I see someone is down or distressed in some fashion it's in my nature to offer help without looking for anything in return.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclops View Post
    When I see someone is down or distressed in some fashion it's in my nature to offer help without looking for anything in return.
    Fi-HA
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

  37. #37
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    SLIs can be very empathetic if someone they care about is sad or is having trouble. IME they can be incredibly caring and sometimes quite sensitive. They tend to offer and provide solutions to help. ["What can I do to fix what's wrong?" is a question an SLI recently asked me when I was upset, and seems to be the question they ask themselves even when they don't ask it out loud.]

    I have known SLIs who would sit down and talk with a sad person to try to make them feel better [mostly providing service as a good listener, and - again - offering suggestions/solutions if they can]. Like I said they can be quite sensitive even if Fe-PoLR seems to get in the way of expressing it wholly or in the most, um, helpful way.

    ... as I type this I'm remembering an SLI trying to comfort me when my grandmother was very sick a few years ago. After I told him what was going on he looked at me and said, "I remember when my grandmother was dying, and how hard it was." At which point I burst into tears because at the time she was sick, but [I hoped] not dying... anyway, he felt terrible about it but of course I understood what he meant and told him not to worry; he obviously meant well. Then a few months later when my grandmother actually did pass away, the same SLI left his work early and drove almost an hour to my house to comfort me [which entailed holding me while I cried]. He didn't have a lot of sympathetic words to say, but I wouldn't have wanted them anyway; what he did was perfect.

    SLIs very much show their empathy through actions > words, ime.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariella View Post
    This is a superficial understanding and based more on MBTI than Socionics.
    No it's not; because it is me.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa33 View Post
    No it's not; because it is me.
    and so it shouldn't even exist in the first place.

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    yeah I think it's waaay different in person than over the phone. Over the phone not much comes through. But in person they will hug you or make facial expressions or whatever so you can tell they care
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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