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Thread: IEEs/ENFps: extroverted but not very outgoing?

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    Default IEEs/ENFps: extroverted but not very outgoing?

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    Last edited by SenoritaC; 03-06-2011 at 05:27 PM.

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    Being outgoing isn't a requisite for being extroverted, so don't worry about that. I know plenty of IEEs who aren't necessarily the most socially out-going people. Apparently this is a fairly common habit of ENFps, or Ne ego in general I guess.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctures View Post
    Being outgoing isn't a requisite for being extroverted, so don't worry about that. I know plenty of IEEs who aren't necessarily the most socially out-going people. Apparently this is a fairly common habit of ENFps, or Ne ego in general I guess.
    Being outgoing IS a requirement for being an extrovert (MBTI, more so)
    Being outgoing is not a requirement for being an extratim (socionics)

    (an extratim is what the IEE is, and that's part of why I like the 3 letter code than 4 letters...)

    Anyhow,
    I know a few IEEs who don't think themselves a social yet I think she is, because she's so good with people and always doing a lot. But I don't think anything you said makes IEE seem unlikely.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SenoritaC View Post
    I believe myself to be an Intuitive Ethical Extravert, an IEE, however I am not so very outgoing, and in fact I keep to myself quite a bit and like it that way as opposed to going out all the time and especially hanging out with a lot of people I may not feel a connection with.

    I guess what I am getting at is that I am not all that sociable overall in my free spare time, I am perfectly happy to keep to myself much of the time. Is this a shared trait among IEEs or have I maybe typed myself incorrectly?

    It's a shared trait. I'm just like that.

    I think for me how outgoing I am HEAVILY depends on who i am interacting with. If i'm among friends whom i've known for months or years and feel positively about and well accepted by, I can be chatty, bubbly, center of attention, even loud sometimes.

    If i'm new somewhere and dont know anyone in a certain environment, I will be quiet quiet, I will mostly prefer to observe until I can assess what kind of people I'm dealing with and how friendly they are. But if I have to speak, I will be VERY softspoken, choose my words carefully, and feel embarrassed often.

    If i'm in an environment where I know people are hostile, I will also keep my contributions to a minimum and choose my words very carefully. I will be as diplomatic as possible--try to find the key to getting along with each such person and use that as much as possible in interacting with them, with the express purpose of avoiding confrontation and getting out of the situation relatively unscathed. My philosophy is that if in doubt about how someone will react to something, sometimes it's best to just remain silent (depending on the situation of course).

    So, I'm starting to think that people who comment on the various kinds of IEEs out there in terms of more outgoing vs less outgoing, just happen to see IEE's in different sorts of situations. We are fickle people.

    Oh, also, like you, I like my me time. I dont mind being alone doing my own thing. Except when I'm lonely, like these days. Even so, being by myself is better than going out socializing with unpleasant negative people (which doesn't exactly help me meet new people when I've just moved somewhere--I admire my dual for being so great at this, actually!).
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    Being outgoing IS a requirement for being an extrovert (MBTI, more so)
    Being outgoing is not a requirement for being an extratim (socionics)
    nitpicknitpicksemanticsaaaaaaaaaaa w/e it's all the same
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctures View Post
    nitpicknitpicksemanticsaaaaaaaaaaa w/e it's all the same
    Actually no it's not, it's a big problem for people who are coming to socionics via MBTI.

    I wasn't trying to nitpick you though; I did it just so other people might understand.

    I'll buy you a _____ (beverage of choice) next time I get the chance to make up for it, how about that.
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    yeah I can be very quiet in some situations. Other times, very outgoing. Really depends on my mood. At times I can look like an introvert, especially if I don't like the company or if there is too much Fe or I have to try too hard or am tired. However, I do go out pretty ofen and organize things w/ friends. I also used to be shy, which meant I was very not outgoing. Now that I'm not shy, I'm much more outgoing. I also care less if I don't like someone or if they don't like me, where as I used to think that was a huge deal. IEEs can be quiet, yah.
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    Yeah. I make a pretty lousy extrovert. In fact, right this moment I want to kill myself because I'm so shitty at what I am supposed to do best. I would much rather be an ILE, SEE, ESE, EIE, SLE... Jesus Fucking Christ anything but myself because that's getting me nowhere.
    IEE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryu View Post
    Actually no it's not, it's a big problem for people who are coming to socionics via MBTI.

    I wasn't trying to nitpick you though; I did it just so other people might understand.

    I'll buy you a _____ (beverage of choice) next time I get the chance to make up for it, how about that.
    lol it's fine, I understand where you're coming from. I'm just so used to saying extrovert as opposed to extrotim.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    Yeah. I make a pretty lousy extrovert. In fact, right this moment I want to kill myself because I'm so shitty at what I am supposed to do best. I would much rather be an ILE, SEE, ESE, EIE, SLE... Jesus Fucking Christ anything but myself because that's getting me nowhere.
    oh no, why do you feel like that? You seem to be a pretty good extrovert from what I've seen, from the posts I've seen and your emails!
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    Yeah. I make a pretty lousy extrovert. In fact, right this moment I want to kill myself because I'm so shitty at what I am supposed to do best. I would much rather be an ILE, SEE, ESE, EIE, SLE... Jesus Fucking Christ anything but myself because that's getting me nowhere.
    IEEs say things like that sometimes when under stress, yeah.
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    Could IEEs be low-energy sometimes?

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    Quote Originally Posted by matilda View Post
    Could IEEs be low-energy sometimes?
    You mind reader you! I was wondering the SAME exact thing as I logged on today and was going to ask!
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    So extroverts including IEEs are much more energetic and outer world focused than introverts. Ne isn't just a thought process, since it includes everything about the lifestyle, in that IEEs will basically have similar temperaments, based on lively idea flow and expansion and a basic to keen enthusiasm: an inventors mind. IEEs as intuitive types, being less focused on acting as a physical means, can indeed be more low-energy sometimes, but not enough to really mistake an introvert as an extrovert. IEEs can act introverted in unsuitable situations though, but their main process, where they find the most comfort and freedom, will always seem extroverted: energetic, initiating, and external.

    To really best picture and complete what I'm trying to say, you need to try and think like an SLI.
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    Quote Originally Posted by polikujm View Post
    So extroverts including IEEs are much more energetic and outer world focused than introverts. Ne isn't just a thought process, since it includes everything about the lifestyle, in that IEEs will basically have similar temperaments, based on lively idea flow and expansion and a basic to keen enthusiasm: an inventors mind. IEEs as intuitive types, being less focused on acting as a physical means, can indeed be more low-energy sometimes, but not enough to really mistake an introvert as an extrovert. IEEs can act introverted in unsuitable situations though, but their main process, where they find the most comfort and freedom, will always seem extroverted: energetic, initiating, and external.

    To really best picture and complete what I'm trying to say, you need to try and think like an SLI.
    I guess the question in my mind really is, what is meant by "energetic". Is it more about taking lots of initiative, coming up with lots of ideas, etc, or about physical energy meaning like, walk speed.

    For example, I tend to take on a nice leisurely walk speed while i get lost in my thoughts and ponder things. Another IEE-like girl I know also has a way of sauntering. And well, when you put us together. . .we'll run our mouths while strolling peacefully. It's quite a sight. On the other hand, the SLI I know walks stiffly but briskly, though it really does seem like he is enjoying every muscle in his lower body while he walks.
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    Yes, to put it bluntly, such that little bit makes sense in accordance to SLI and IEE: a level of energy being displaced toward something more typical of the type.

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    I find that actually, introverted vs. extroverted is one area in which the idea of it I got from MBTI still holds true in socionics: it's about where your energy is primarily directed. If your energy is naturally directed inward and you emerge to deal with the outside world, you're probably an introvert. If your energy is naturally directed outward and you turn inward to question yourself and deal with your feelings or make a decision or whatever, then you're probably an extrovert.

    For example, I consider myself an introvert, despite the fact that I'm very outgoing and friendly, etc. In fact, when I go to a party or something with my SLE buddy, all things being equal, I'm usually the one who knows more people, despite the fact that he's the extrovert. This may have something to do with him being Ti sub and me being Fe sub. Regardless, despite the fact that I'm outgoing and friendly, I'm always very much aware of coming out of myself to do that. I'm very much aware that I'm redirecting my energy and thoughts away from myself or an internal perspective ("talking to myself about myself" or "observing myself" whether out loud or internally) and towards what's outside, i.e., other people. It would probably be the opposite for an extrovert; they'd probably normally be engaged with the outside world, not focusing so much on themselves as on their external perceptions, and then have to actively or consciously turn inward.

    In an IEE, this would theoretically play out something like this: naturally engaged in determining the essential potentialities of objects (seeing the tree in the acorn), but occasionally wanting to turn inwards to sort out their own subjective relationships to things and people. Note that none of this has to do with rather you want to spend time alone or with other people. You can determine the essential potentialities of objects just as well alone on your computer as you can at a party (probably better actually). And you can reflect on your feelings there too. Also, my mom is probably an IEE (still not confirmed though), and she has to spend a decent amount of time alone, so I think it's a fairly common IEE thing. Also, I think it works well with their SLI duals
    Not a rule, just a trend.

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    that's interesting. Yeah at times I've noticed my introvert friends can be more talkative than me at a party, especially if I'm bored w/ the conversation (and especially Fe-valuing introverts I notice being quite outgoing). However, I'm usually the "leader" in that I'll be the one to organize getting friends together, introduce people, ensure that others are talking comfortably (and if not I will jump in to try to smooth anything over).

    However, I really prefer just to chill w/ people I like t talk to/who are fun. I've noticed w/ my SLI bf that at times I'm very, very talkative and silly (which usually makes him kind of talkative as well and seems to energize him) and other times I'm pretty quiet if I'm thinking about something/distracted, etc. I think the way it varies from loud/talkative/silly to quiet/thinking lets us both have that "quiet time" to stay centered which we both really need. But I energize him w/ my bursts of random enthusiasm or emotion.

    Someone just told me that my ESTp friend (who is very outgoing, warm, gregarious, emotional, non-stop talker) would be super draining to my bf. And I agree! His roommate is an ESTp and sometimes he just stops listening or doesn't reply if he's tired of talking. Also because ESTps want a Fe response, I think it's hard for him as he can do Fe, but it seems like it tires him out.

    So anyway, the fact that ENFps can be quiet is one reason we get along w/ ISTps well.
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiny_dancer View Post
    Yeah. I make a pretty lousy extrovert. In fact, right this moment I want to kill myself because I'm so shitty at what I am supposed to do best. I would much rather be an ILE, SEE, ESE, EIE, SLE... Jesus Fucking Christ anything but myself because that's getting me nowhere.
    LOL! I certainly can relate. However, just when I'm convinced there's no way in bloody hell I can be an IEE I happen to walk into a crowded room and suddenly begin to feel the . . . POWER! Laughing, smiling, touching – everyone seems to know who I am. It's too freaking weird . . .

    Keep the faith
    IEE

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    Quote Originally Posted by jewels View Post
    o anyway, the fact that ENFps can be quiet is one reason we get along w/ ISTps well.
    I think so too
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    Quote Originally Posted by eddikens View Post
    LOL! I certainly can relate. However, just when I'm convinced there's no way in bloody hell I can be an IEE I happen to walk into a crowded room and suddenly begin to feel the . . . POWER! Laughing, smiling, touching – everyone seems to know who I am. It's too freaking weird . . .

    Keep the faith
    I too have experienced this!
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