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Thread: Ideal person vs ideal relationship?

  1. #1
    Creepy-male

    Default Ideal person vs ideal relationship?

    Which one do you have? Type related?

    EDIT

    For clarity: in the context of love.
    Last edited by male; 02-25-2010 at 08:28 AM.

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    I'd say ideal relationship (theoretically)... because that's a type of things, many specifics (the people) can fit into the type.



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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    The ideal partner is the one who allows the both of you to have an ideal relationship, namely duality.
    ILE "Searcher"
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    I don't think it's type related so much as situation related. People can think all they want about what a perfect relationship might be between somebody and themselves and still not quite know what kind of person can fit that role, or who can't. And sometimes people idealize some massive list of qualities upon an imaginary person with whom they really can't fathom the dynamics of a relationship with.

    And occasionally you meet someone who has some of these things you thought you liked, lacked a few things you thought you did, and pulled out all sorts of things you didn't even know you loved, and, for the life of you, you still can't see how it will all turn out other than some deep-seated, inexplicable notion that it would all turn out alright, even if it didn't.
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    I think it's kind of arbitrary to separate the two.

    the more pc answer is relationship, but, I think that overlooks that your relationship is dependent on the person you are actually relating to.

    I have an "ideal relationship" myself, but I don't just expect any person to fit into it. Similarly, I have an "ideal person", but the person is related to what kind of relationship I want.
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    *BOOM*

    Reality ensues, melting away 98% of the world's ideals like those kids on that playground in Terminator 2.
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

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    Ideals are stupid. You're not actually having a relationship with anybody, you're having a relationship with....thoughts. your own thoughts, your own ideas. In your ideals somebody can fart and it can smell really good. In your reality, that's not going to be the case. You probably wouldn't forgive somebody if they farted in your face. I think that's a shame. The world needs more heroes.

    In your ideals you can cut somebody up and bring them together again with magic in reality you just can't do that.

    In your ideals a person can be a sexual orientation that is compatible to you, in reality you have to accept who people really are.

    In ideals you can just mentally categorize people via socionics and think you have romantic love but really you just have a fantasy. Really nobody actually likes you, because you ignore them and are too selfish. In turn, this is how you are treated because what you do to others you do to yourself. So therefore, you live a lonely life until you decide to help others and connect with other people.

    In your ideals....i could go and on and on about this. It's fun. I GOT A GOOD ONE. In your ideals, your guy is all masculine str8-acting and hot and perfect, like a superhero. In reality he cries easily, is very emo, is dramatic and girly at every little thing.

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    In your ideals you want to create a hit song, in reality you don't know shit about music.

    In your ideals you want to be perceived as strong and tough in reality your psychological complexes are so fucking transparent people just don't always point them out to you cuz most people have empathy.

    In your ideals you think that 'maybe your ideals will come true!' But that's still an ideal, an ideal on top of another ideal and now you have TWO illusions that will dissapoint you.

    In your ideals, you like the nice guy. In reality you like a guy that can hurt you.

    In your ideals you think you can make all your problems go away by meditating, in reality it just makes you REALLY boring.

    Everything in society is made by an ideal what seems like a 'good idea' and then well, reality gets in the way and it's fun to watch. School was an ideal, and everybody hates it. Work and money are ideals and they're the dullest thing ever.

    I do prefer reality. Real pure direct raw reality, I do like to show people what God sees.

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    In your ideals everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be, cause in your ideals things can be everything, everything you want. And you're still miserable, you just don't realize it because you can idealize misery with happiness, projected egoic happiness but it's still happiness.

    Dreaming away in an ideal. Until you're snapped out of it. IT HURTS THIS ISN'T WHAT I THOUGHT OR PLANNED I HATE THIS NOBODY LIKES MY SUBJECTIVE FAG FEELINGS AND INNER EMO REALMS, MOMMY PLEASE MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY! THE WORLD DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME IT'S THIS CHAOTIC UNPREDIBLE PURELY EVIL THING THAT'S JUST ALL STRAIGHT MAN LIKE AND SOCIPATHIC, AND IT LIKE JUST SHRUGS WHEN I REALLY BELIEVE IN SOMETHING. IT DOESN'T EVEN DO THAT. IT JUST....DOES NOTHIGN. EXCEPT TRY TO KILL ME. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO IN LIFE IM SO LOST PLEASE GOD FUCKING SOMEBODY HELP ME.....

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    I'm sorry but I'm going to make more posts on this until I'm tired about it. I'm already running out of steam though.

    Homophobia is an idea, but so is homosexuality. Homosexuality is an ideal, and homophobia is another ideal. Human life, itself- is a whole ideal, as well as all life itself, even nothing-ness. It's all 'an ideal' base-line, but whose idea is it? Whose running the show here, really running the show. How many curtains do you have to pull back to find the truth?

    Interesting when you think about it.

    IDEALZ!

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    interesting.
    Last edited by somavision; 02-25-2010 at 01:01 PM.
    IEE-Ne

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    lol B&D!

    I agree with mune & slater.

    sometimes, especially when you're young, you don't know what you need. you may have an ideal in your mind of what you think you want. but then when you get what looks good on paper, you find that the two of you don't interact the way you imagined. and it may not just be reality or the day to day of a relationship bursting your bubble, but it may be just that the two of you can't communicate for whatever reason and even though that person was your ideal, you realize you need something different. You realize that your ideal relationship requires a person you never would have thought of as ideal.
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    Quote Originally Posted by VixenDogFox View Post
    I feel I now have an ideal relationship because the person I am with is my dual and because our interests/life goals are so naturally aligned. I spent many years in bad relationships going for people more electrically magnetizing. It took me a lot of time to figure out what I needed.
    yeah... can you believe I only dated ONE logical guy (SLE for a short time when I was very young) and all the rest, including my husband, were ethical. ugh. I think it was because they were so much easier to relate to, initially.
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    I still live deeply in my ideals, but I agree with redbaron, and BnD. Although not about the guy stuff.

    To me it feels like I sort of want to test myself, as I long for someone more distant and better than me in ways only I can see (even if its true, I'm still blind to the rest). And when there is some success in communication, that gets to your head and makes you diluted. It makes me feel as though the actual person for me has been overlooked for some time.

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    god i'd be sick to my stomach if thought a non-dual relationship was 'settling.'
    asd

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    Quote Originally Posted by heath View Post
    god i'd be sick to my stomach if thought a non-dual relationship was 'settling.'
    I don't think it is necessarily. But in some instances, it might be.
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    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    You realize that your ideal relationship requires a person you never would have thought of as ideal.
    There is a motto in Spain: "2+2 are not always 4"

    (a bad translation maybe )
    ILE "Searcher"
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  18. #18
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Huginn View Post
    neither exists in reality
    ideal |īˈdē(ə)l|
    adjective
    2 [ attrib. ] existing only in the imagination; desirable or perfect but not likely to become a reality : in an ideal world, we might have made a different decision.
    • representing an abstract or hypothetical optimum : mathematical modeling can determine theoretically ideal conditions.

    I was referring to that kind of ideal. Anyway, looks like my thread got epic derailed

    I was wondering if, for example, you could link holding "I want to feel X, Y, Z" to foo element or Socionics trait and "I want the person to have X, Y, Z attributes" to bar element or Socionics trait.

    And even if not to Socionics, then to something else?

    Let's use me as an example. I have the former in much higher definition than the latter and I identify with it much more. Introversion? Youthful naivety?

    Of course, meanwhile back in reality, your brain in love works on a level far deeper than the part that generates thoughts, ideas, and ideals.

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Ideal person. An ideal relationship would be dualizm, but there are jerks of every type, including duals.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Ideal peson. An ideal relationship would be dualizm, but there are jerks of every type, including duals.
    okay but watch out. you don't wanna end up with an ideal person who's not right for YOU.
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    The ideal partner is the one who allows the both of you to have an ideal relationship, namely duality.
    Not if your dual is SLE.
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aixelsyd View Post
    I would go for ideal relationship. Duality, but especially where the sexings is good, as little nagging from either side as possible, and more or less leaving each other the fuck alone. No jealousy, no demands other than what is necessary (i.e. important matters such as finances and such). Times we do share are full of interesting discussion or activities, humor, and heart to hearts...and then that's it. They have their friends, hobbies, whatever, I have mine. Two compatible worlds occasionally crossing under one roof (or several roofs if one or both of us are the out and about types). Something comfy but not too domestic. No spawn. That would be the ideal relationship.

    I can make an ideal person in my head. That's easy.
    wow! I said the same thing in counseling a couple months ago and I was told that my view of marriage is more independent than most and it was implied that it was kind of... bad? but I totally agree with you here. I wonder if we introverted Ni types are just that way?
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