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Thread: Fe and Whining

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    Default Fe and Whining

    Fe-egos, do you like to whine? That is, if you're feeling unhappy about something, even if it's just a minor annoyance, does it make you feel better to talk about it? I find that saying something out loud almost always makes me feel better. Like, at this very moment, I am castigating myself verbally for doing a really dreadful job on a paper I had to turn in today (well, not at this very moment, 'cause now I'm posting). But this makes me feel a lot better. Could also be related to Ni, insofar as I can almost anticipate the same complaints coming from other people, and it isn't as bad if I just say them to myself...? Eventually it's just sort of a stream-of-words, possibly meaningless, and vaguely related to the topic of irritation.

    Anyway, Fe and whining: go. Bonus points for information about how various other types react to said whining. Thanks.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    Can someone delete Maritsa's posts that are 100% spam? I'd love to keep the ones that ostensibly have some information content, but spamming the forum on unrelated topics because you're pissed at something the admins did is childish, silly, actively rule-breaking (instead of just annoying) and in Maritsa's case, totally ineffectual (even if what the admins did in the first place was kinda childish... but at least it was funny. Unlike the spam).

    EDIT: Also, @ Maritsa. They would have put your freaking avatar back eventually, but now that you're trying to start a war to get your way, I have to say, if it were me, I would not give you your way on purpose, purely because of the power struggle aspect. But I've always believed your self typing, so I guess you're just EII and Se polr and consequently don't understand such things. Not that all EIIs would make that... odd of a decision.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    Trevor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    Fe-egos, do you like to whine? That is, if you're feeling unhappy about something, even if it's just a minor annoyance, does it make you feel better to talk about it? I find that saying something out loud almost always makes me feel better....
    Fe-ESFjs do that a lot. Like they are seeking for Ti or something.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    Fe-ESFjs do that a lot. Like they are seeking for Ti or something.
    Huh, that's interesting. How do you see it as Ti-seeking?
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    Trevor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    Huh, that's interesting. How do you see it as Ti-seeking?

    This is very characteristic of Fe-ESFjs. The bolded part is something I'd especially call Ti-seeking.
    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    ... First, she will have the inclination to tell you, in sequence, the daily events of her day, mostly dealing with her interactions with other people. Sometimes she is going to make a point and want your opinion; but to reach that point, she needs to go, sequentially, through all the events that led to it, and you wonder if that was necessary. Other times she’ll just relate the events of her day without wanting to make any specific points, apparently expecting you to help her make sense of them.
    Btw, objectively speaking, IJ-Ti hardly ever makes sense. It's very subjective and prone to discard facts and common sense opinions provided by the other people but apparently ESFjs like it. It's probably IXTjs spewing their redicolous opinions with utter and by all means unwarranted confidence what calms Fe-dominants.

    PS: sorry for my bad grammar, I know you're alergic to it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    Btw, objectively speaking, IJ-Ti hardly ever makes sense. It's very subjective and prone to discard facts and common sense opinions provided by the other people but apparently ESFjs like it.
    IJ-Ti hardly ever makes sense? Surely it's not that bad?
    LII

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zed View Post
    IJ-Ti hardly ever makes sense? Surely it's not that bad?
    Of course it's not. I'm stereotyping in order to make a point. It's what stereotyping is all about.

    The tendency exists, in IXTj Ti subtypes, and in some cases it really can be that bad. My uncle comes to mind.

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    My SEI brother is my only family member who's an Fe Ego. He's also the only one who whines. It is very agitating. I'd rather hear complaining or crying than whining.

    ESTj
    1w2 sp/so 1-2-6
    Brilliand's Younger Sister
    Squishy's Older Sister

    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tuturututu View Post
    Of course it's not. I'm stereotyping in order to make a point. It's what stereotyping is all about.

    The tendency exists, in IXTj Ti subtypes, and in some cases it really can be that bad. My uncle comes to mind.
    I see. I'm tired and assumed you meant Ti is impotent at handling real-life issues. I see how it can produce nonsensical theories if applied on-the-fly.
    LII

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mimosa Pudica View Post
    In what way does he whine? What does he say? What does he whine about?
    He whines by altering the sound waves eminating from his vocal cords to be more similar to those emitted by the siren of an emergency vehicle. He says many things, few of which I can comprehend because of the agitating frequency. He whines about work.

    ESTj
    1w2 sp/so 1-2-6
    Brilliand's Younger Sister
    Squishy's Older Sister

    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    No, never. I hate to whine, to complain, to dump problems on people. It's pointless, it just fucks people off - which I have deduced from Fe. I only talk about problems with someone if I think they will give me good advice or if the problem involves them and talking it out might resolve it. I used to bitch all the time, like whine and complain constantly - it's not cool for the other person. I have some E4 friends, some EIEs and an IEI who whine a lot and it's so draining and irritating, it's like get your shit together, you don't even have any real problems.

    I watch my Fe ego friends do it and people obviously get pissed off with it, but they keep on doing it - like they know it's irritating but they still do it... wtf?
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dinki View Post
    No, never. I hate to whine, to complain, to dump problems on people. It's pointless, it just fucks people off - which I have deduced from Fe. I only talk about problems with someone if I think they will give me good advice or if the problem involves them and talking it out might resolve it. I used to bitch all the time, like whine and complain constantly - it's not cool for the other person. I have some E4 friends, some EIEs and an IEI who whine a lot and it's so draining and irritating, it's like get your shit together, you don't even have any real problems.

    I watch my Fe ego friends do it and people obviously get pissed off with it, but they keep on doing it - like they know it's irritating but they still do it... wtf?
    Yes I am the same way -- I don't whine, in fact I make a conscious effort not to bring other people down with my problems.

    Why would Fe types whine more than others? To me it seems like what dinki says, that an Fe type knows the effect of whining on others or the mood and will then keep from doing it too much, at least when healthy, I think.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dinki View Post
    I watch my Fe ego friends do it and people obviously get pissed off with it, but they keep on doing it - like they know it's irritating but they still do it... wtf?
    Self-interestedness. if it makes it any better, I mostly whine to myself (and on facebook). I like whining to others only when they don't take it seriously, because it's not really that deep, I dunno it's just... better out than in!


    He whines by altering the sound waves eminating from his vocal cords to be more similar to those emitted by the siren of an emergency vehicle. He says many things, few of which I can comprehend because of the agitating frequency. He whines about work.
    Does anybody know the name of the rhetorical figure wherein one replies to a "how does entity x perform action y" question (a question of quality) with a "entity x performs action y by [definition of action y]"? I'm curious to know if it has a fancy Greek name (I kinda hope it does).
    Other times she’ll just relate the events of her day without wanting to make any specific points, apparently expecting you to help her make sense of them.
    Haha, I totally relate to that. It's like, x, y, z, q, and j happened, now take all these letters and make a word so I can understand what just happened.

    I don't think Ti is terribly subjective. It's just organized. I have no problem with organization. Facts without any organization are just... mush.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    Nothing is more annoying than people whining about trivial, mundane shit that doesn't matter. It's really irritating when people constantly complain about stuff no one (including them) really cares about. On the other hand, if someone is expressing themselves about something they really care about, I'd never dismiss it as "whining." It's too bad we live in a world where we keep a lot of our problems to ourselves because we just assume people don't have the time to listen to things that are bothering us, even if we really care about them. Of course, even if something is making me very unhappy, I'd never talk to someone about it when it's clear they don't want to hear about it, but it really helps me to tell people about stuff that's bothering me. I don't necessarily want practical advice; sometimes it just helps me clarify my thoughts and take some of the weight off by expressing myself.

    Granted, it depends on the person. Obviously, I wouldn't burden someone I don't really know with a bunch of things that are bothering me, but if someone is my friend and can't be bothered to listen to stuff that matters to me, they can go fuck themselves.
    EIE-Ni

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    [
    Like, at this very moment, I am castigating myself verbally for doing a really dreadful job on a paper I had to turn in today
    Interesting, how do I go about castigating myself? hehe
    EIE tritype 5w4, 4w5, 9w1


    As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
    Carl Jung, "Memories, Dreams, Reflections", 1962

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morcheeba View Post
    [

    Interesting, how do I go about castigating myself? hehe
    Like, at this very moment, I am castigating myself verbally for doing a really dreadful job on a paper...
    Now, if that's not what you had in mind, I suppose I could think of a few suggestions, but I'm not really certain of the procedure... and really I think it's better when you find someone else to assist in the process. Huh, what?
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    not a bumblebee octo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelMaybe View Post
    Why would Fe types whine more than others? To me it seems like what dinki says, that an Fe type knows the effect of whining on others or the mood and will then keep from doing it too much, at least when healthy, I think.
    I whine, but I'm conscious of when I'm starting to go too far and will turn around and make it a joke. Like it says in wikisocion:

    Quote Originally Posted by wikisocion
    the IEI will often say something that sounds very deep and heartfelt only to immediately realize the ridiculousness of what they are saying and make light of it.
    The whining is never in earnest, it's never meant to be taken seriously. I think the only annoying whiners are people who actually mean it to be taken seriously, and don't realise they're whining - I know an IEE like this and it drives me mental. I think the object is really to let out a bit of steam, or to get people on my side for future battles

    Reactions from other types:
    Betas: Usually they go, "Aww, poor thing!" either sincerely (if deserving) or sarcastically (if not deserving).

    If deserving, they'll offer some sort of martial violence (SLEs ), logical step-by-step plan of action to deal with the problem (LSIs), wild and unfeasible revenge plan (EIEs) or an alternative explanation of why it happened (IEIs). If undeserving, they'll tell me to harden up. (Give me my bonus points, bitch! )

    I hardly ever whine to other types, apart from my Alpha parents who just react like stereotypical parents. I think IEIs subconsciously/consciously know what sorts of people are receptive to certain modes of behaviour, and won't go off and whine at an LXE, for instance. Fe-creatives are very good at behaving "appropriately" for a situation, and tend to be conservative in situations they're unsure of. EXEs probably don't exercise that sort of control over their Fe-related behaviours.
    Quote Originally Posted by Agee The Great View Post
    Nobody here...besides me, seems to know what SLE is except for maybe Maritsa.

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    whine.. more like relentlessly complain. I like to make people feel as negatively as I do. But I only do that if I think they are involved or responsible somehow.
    INTp

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    The sonal aspect of whining is related or wholly Fe. It also implies they should know when,where, how much to use that aspect since they are more focused on it.
    I assume heavy use of Fe will annoy Fi/Te types for the usage of it above their Fi/Te values.
    Wouldn't any supervisee seem whiny or pathetic to the SUPERvisorrr?
    Alpha and Beta will grate on each other for the context(Si/Ne vs Ni/Se) of the Fe not the overall presence. Whereas Te types would annoy Fe/Ti with heavy Te facts (and Si/Ne vs Se/Ni).

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