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Thread: When there's nothing left - motivation for academic success

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    Default When there's nothing left - motivation for academic success

    I know this sounds a little obvious.
    There really is nothing left, though. I don't even enjoy posting here, online. It's like I've been trying to find something that I enjoy or 'feel good' doing, but I've elmiated everyone of them, mastered them all.

    The last thing for me is academic success. 4.0 success.

    That' is the last thing for me to do, that and personal (spiritual and efficiency) development, and if I ever come across a girl a relationship later, I guess. (But that involves someone else, so it's not really important right now, etc etc, *intjspeak*, etc).


    Part of the problem is the basic human etropy factor, but also, that I know I don't 'need' to get a 4.0 or anything like that. It's not necessary at all.

    I guess part of my question to fellow INTjs... is......
    how do you motivate yourself to follow at goal such as this?
    Or is it simply that there isn't anything else you'd rather do anyways?

    Over the last 2 weeks I've been completely reconfiguring things, new study habits and such, getting much more serious about my schoolwork and studying, etc. I like it, because I feel like I'm not "just settling" anymore. It's new, it's fun, it's a challenge. And I think if I keep going with it, I could push myself towards the "4.0" ideal.





    Lastly, I will say that a factor in the generation of this post is that I just spent a few hours seeing a dance club perform with some relatives here at my college. It felt strange sitting there. But no, it wasn't strange. It was an odd "feeling of oneself". I could feel it in a deep down sort of way, it brought something out. I can't describe it very much, just a sort of "I don't really want to be here - what else would I rather be doing?" but in a somewhat trancendent way, encompasing more than that moment, etc. What I am I doing here in college?

    Will I let being a "mediocre" above average student in the past guide my ways, or will I become something more? Can I make academics a true passion and devote myself to it like I feel so much I should be doing? Things like that.


    I guess that's all for now.


    The mundane world is giving me a boring, friday night headache.
    I will seek to use my dislike of this as motivation.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Take some 5-HTP. I fucking mean it. 5-HTP is an amino acid (protein) available at health food stores. Do it or I'll kill you.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    I couldn't follow your post at all UDP. Could you rephase things a bit?
    INTj Mathematician -- "What, me worry?"

    "As intelligence increases, happiness goes down. See, I made a graph. I make a lot of graphs." -- Lisa Simpson

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    How do others feel about academic success, and the motivation of/for it?
    Besides gaining knowledge and undersatnding, is there really much else to chase after?; not many things interest me.
    (I can use the internet to pass the time, but is nothing substantial at all, and most of the time it's just because I'm using it as an easy instant gratification and because it's still a part of my routine. But no real enjoyment of it)
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I've tried to find interests in other things, but things just seem to be getting less and less interesting, so I'm moving on to new challenges. Superior academic success is one thing that is completely possible andwithin my control, but I've never done it, so I am really considering taking on the challenge. How do other (intjs) feel about that sort of thing, or academic success in general?


    You may remember an early thread months ago, called "Setteling in to my personliaty type". Essentially, I've been an INTj all my life. I just never 'knew' it, as in, understood my ..... myself. Also, I was never pushed in school. At all. It wasn't neccesary for me to get anything above what I did with minimal effort. BUt now that I'm in college, and just after my first half-semester, I'm starting to seriously get into the notion of getting very seriously into my schoolwork. Mostly because it's the only thing that really seems to generate a high quality product. But I'm just not yet acclimated to putting in the neccesary effort.


    Does that make any sense, either?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    Take some 5-HTP. I fucking mean it. 5-HTP is an amino acid (protein) available at health food stores. Do it or I'll kill you.
    What is this supposed to mean?

    That's not something about depression, is it? I'm not depressed at all, joy. I'm just getting more and more intlerant of "settling" for less than my best, in combination with being bored with the common things. That, and getting As in college is a pretty good challenge, as in, somethign i've not yet done yet.


    Joy, just to calm your nerves, I had a perfectly good conversation with a friend today and we laughed a lot. I was also watching the NCAA tournament today, and I enjoyed that a lot too. So I'm doing fine emotionally and such. I even went out and spent time with people for near-social purposes today. By the by, I get a lot of protein in my diet, and generally keep a healthy lifestyle. Though I will be catching up on my rest this weekend.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    How do others feel about academic success, and the motivation of/for it?
    I think academic success has different meanings. One can look for success, I mean being in a competition to have a good ranking. One can look for a goal to reach in a career plan. I think INTj are more interested in achieving a goal than getting some success as a part of a competition.

    One my side, I've had lots of trouble at school, college and university when the exams were more a question of memorizing a lesson than a question of resolving a problem. So I've been a little more than average student with some problems of "short term motivation for some lessons" but I had a very long-term plan and despite these short term problems, my tenacity helped a lot in achieving my goals, and I ended up with a PhD. The road was long but I've made it.

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    I agree with your post UDP and I really like your approach. I wish I had the discipline to do what you are doing. However, try not to limit your threads about INTjs because people of all types can realte to what you are going through.
    "Nothing happens until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change."

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    Lack of motivation--a recurring story for me, anyway. I will not delve into my type, as I am not sure of it, and I am not even certain that it matters.

    But, just like you UDP, I have managed to motivate myself to academic excellence, after a very poor first semester; eventually, I have managed to get to 3.5 AGP (our scholastic system is different: the grade depends 100% on the exam, so that the measly 3.5 made me the second/third best student of my class).

    However, once graduated, everything fell apart. The same old question raised its ugly head again: what now? Frankly, even now, 15 years later, I still don't have an answer. So, take this as a warning, do not follow my steps; it is most probably not worth it.

    Cheers,
    Marino

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    INTj blues:

    "tradition", the "regular" world, "routine ruts", emotionally involved relationships, thinking too much (self-paralysis), lack or inability to push talents, constant self-doubt, caught up in "right-wrong" paradigm, depressed when there's no "work": just some of the things I would imagine all or most INTj's have qualms with.

    The great thing about "coming out" as an xxxx type is that we can identify these things as areas for personal development. The worst thing about realising your an "xxxx" in relation to others is that you may get prone to mysticism like say using Typology as yet another dishonest excuse for the way i am and defaulting to what is "comforting" and thus life becomes ever harder to understand and deal with. I think for INTj or NTs in general this can be a major problem e.g. ALL "INTjs" I know have an understanding of typology which can be both "good" and "bad" at the same time. The question arises, how can I use this to practically benefit me moving me FORWARD and if not, discard it and move onto something else instead of using it as a possible rationalization for any laziness (mysticism).

    Ps. I'm now 3 years out of University where I pushed myself hard with great anxiety to get a First class final dissertation. Believing myself to be an "academic" I immediately became lost and frustrated in the "real world" because I realised that in all my efforts I pretty much knew nothing useful which only brought about more depression and degeneracy until I have moments when I snap out of my pessimism and learn to get organised for immediate action and forward momentum to promote happiness. For example, i've written a book that during it's composition promoted much happiness though now that i've finished this "project" per se i sometimes beat myself up over it due to a "right-wrong" paradigm where i question it's value before i could possibly know it's value because i haven't "tested the waters" with regards to the market. In fact, what i just wrote is one such rationalization as proof of my stagnation whereby i'm expecting answers to my problem when only i can solve it.
    Remember to keep things simple and not any simpler like Einstein once said.

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    UDG: you need to get out. that "not doing enough with your life" feeling means that you need to experience more, i.e. have more relations. do more drugs. have more sex. the academic side is covered, as an intj, that is not difficult. no one cares if you have a 4.0. exchange a few gpa points for meaningful experiences. talk to women you dont know, and probably wont see again. do not piss away your college years. quit organizing and reconfiguring for christs sake. impose yourself. no one that you will meet at two in the morning will even remember what you look like. do whatever you feel, i.e. get drunk and tell some girl to go home with you. she probably will, but even if she doesnt, at least you had fun while doing it. and get some friends that party. invaluable as confidence boosters and as someone that can laugh with you as they recall for you what you did. or go all out and actually, dare i say it, "love" someone? what else should i be doing is not even a question that will come to mind.
    LII
    that is what i was getting at. if there is an inescapable appropriation that is required in the act of understanding, this brings into question the validity of socionics in describing what is real, and hence stubborn contradictions that continue to plague me.

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    Ah, the eternal conflict between doing what one believes to be "right" versus the compassion of the others who want you to do something "wrong".

    I have to admit, INTj's are terrible at doing a few "wrong" things. I have missed many opportunites to do some "wrong" things because i'm adamant towards what is ethical and thus "right" from my arrogant high-horse INTj perspective on things thus maintaining the "nice sweet guy" image even when a drunk (probably Artisan) girly comes over in a club and literally gives an offer of sex and i'm in total self-denial and habitually not wanting to deal with that aspect of life.

    For me, naughty things like casual sex have become like the job I can't get because I had "gaps on your CV" and "no references" and the only way to get a foot back on the ladder even if it's against my sense of what is "right" is to be more like an Artisan who might "perform" to get what they want.

    Honesty is always the best policy but we can't help the fact that some of us will use what ever tactic to get where they want. Depending on temperament we could then say who's more likely/unlikely to it.

    A trouble with being an INTj is knowing too much OR perhaps more accurate, thinking and talking like it to the point of self-paralysis. In essence, we create our own problems just through habitual action or inaction!!

    Maybe that's why Freud implied that psychological problems stem from sex - the lack of or misappropriate use of. God damn, i'm too damn ethical, can't have casual sex because it's just another form of "escapism" in my mind although like alcohol it would provide a short term BUZZ and most of us do live in the land of "instant happiness". I think as an INTj, having a holistic approach to life, always seeking long-term strategies for "success", "happiness" and "love" and don't forget that "hidden agenda" of being healthy hence a notorious honest nature that keeps me virtuous and frustrated with mental masturbations** galore when i fail to get results in the here-and-now.

    -- that ends another fruitless rationalization of mine

    **intellectual jerking off i.e. rationalizing to comfort one's self
    Remember to keep things simple and not any simpler like Einstein once said.

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    stop it. go to the liquor store right now, and on your way out, ask the first girl you see to join you. you think you can predict the future, but you can't. you have no idea how your actions/inactions will result, in actuality, in supposedly ethical/non-ethical outcomes.
    LII
    that is what i was getting at. if there is an inescapable appropriation that is required in the act of understanding, this brings into question the validity of socionics in describing what is real, and hence stubborn contradictions that continue to plague me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariano Rajoy
    UDG: you need to get out. that "not doing enough with your life" feeling means that you need to experience more, i.e. have more relations. do more drugs. have more sex. the academic side is covered, as an intj, that is not difficult. no one cares if you have a 4.0. exchange a few gpa points for meaningful experiences. talk to women you dont know, and probably wont see again. do not piss away your college years. quit organizing and reconfiguring for christs sake. impose yourself. no one that you will meet at two in the morning will even remember what you look like. do whatever you feel, i.e. get drunk and tell some girl to go home with you. she probably will, but even if she doesnt, at least you had fun while doing it. and get some friends that party. invaluable as confidence boosters and as someone that can laugh with you as they recall for you what you did. or go all out and actually, dare i say it, "love" someone? what else should i be doing is not even a question that will come to mind.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariano Rajoy
    stop it. go to the liquor store right now, and on your way out, ask the first girl you see to join you. you think you can predict the future, but you can't. you have no idea how your actions/inactions will result, in actuality, in supposedly ethical/non-ethical outcomes.


    You obviously don't know who you are talking to. But that's alright.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by snowyc
    Ah, the eternal conflict between doing what one believes to be "right" versus the compassion of the others who want you to do something "wrong".

    I have to admit, INTj's are terrible at doing a few "wrong" things. I have missed many opportunites to do some "wrong" things because i'm adamant towards what is ethical and thus "right" from my arrogant high-horse INTj perspective on things thus maintaining the "nice sweet guy" image even when a drunk (probably Artisan) girly comes over in a club and literally gives an offer of sex and i'm in total self-denial and habitually not wanting to deal with that aspect of life.

    For me, naughty things like casual sex have become like the job I can't get because I had "gaps on your CV" and "no references" and the only way to get a foot back on the ladder even if it's against my sense of what is "right" is to be more like an Artisan who might "perform" to get what they want.

    Honesty is always the best policy but we can't help the fact that some of us will use what ever tactic to get where they want. Depending on temperament we could then say who's more likely/unlikely to it.

    A trouble with being an INTj is knowing too much OR perhaps more accurate, thinking and talking like it to the point of self-paralysis. In essence, we create our own problems just through habitual action or inaction!!

    Maybe that's why Freud implied that psychological problems stem from sex - the lack of or misappropriate use of. God damn, i'm too damn ethical, can't have casual sex because it's just another form of "escapism" in my mind although like alcohol it would provide a short term BUZZ and most of us do live in the land of "instant happiness". I think as an INTj, having a holistic approach to life, always seeking long-term strategies for "success", "happiness" and "love" and don't forget that "hidden agenda" of being healthy hence a notorious honest nature that keeps me virtuous and frustrated with mental masturbations** galore when i fail to get results in the here-and-now.

    -- that ends another fruitless rationalization of mine

    **intellectual jerking off i.e. rationalizing to comfort one's self
    How do you fight the ensuing depression that results in letting yourself go? It is very very easy to live a life in which your brain disregards the consequences of your actions, in which you disavow the concept of living up to some ethical ideal. However, I know that I have done something very similar and consequently, an explicable feeling of emptiness develops and even though I can surpress it, it will bother me from time to time. It is as if you begin to question the meaning of existence itself and the feeling of "what's the point?" constantly bothers you. It is as if you realize that there is nothing else in the world except that which physical sensations such as happiness and sadness, and you wonder whether that is all there is to existence. It is as if you realize that you are just some mindless drone in some elaborate play directed by the laws of Physics. It is as if you begin to feel that you are trap in some world like the Matrix where all there is to existence is your physical sensations. Though, I cannot fully explain why, these views make my life feel so empty and meaningless, and that puts me in depression. You sound as if you have been through this phase and have risen above it. How do you do it?

    What I have done to fight of this emptiness is by choosing to pursue a life that does not make me happy but makes me satisfied and pleased. This also means that I do not pursue a life in which I let myself go because there is no satisfaction in that, just emptiness.

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    This is all the effect of entering the last stage of the first archetypal phase, the Shadow. I've been through it. Basically your unconscious is exhausting all the possibilities Ti alone can offer. Reaching the end of this possibility range correlates with an internal biological change that unites the ego with the unconscious, and in the case of the INTJ, brings extroversion to the surface as a "slave function" for the other four. (introversion in particular)

    In other words, this is just temporary and will pass, but there is no easy way to get through this time. My advice: find a dual.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg
    This is all the effect of entering the last stage of the first archetypal phase, the Shadow. I've been through it. Basically your unconscious is exhausting all the possibilities Ti alone can offer. Reaching the end of this possibility range correlates with an internal biological change that unites the ego with the unconscious, and in the case of the INTJ, brings extroversion to the surface as a "slave function" for the other four. (introversion in particular)

    In other words, this is just temporary and will pass, but there is no easy way to get through this time. My advice: find a dual.
    #1 Is this another new theory of yours?

    #2 Why should I believe you (you don't have a very good track record so I am extremely skeptical of anything that comes out of you)? Do you have any justification? Another unjustified theory is not sufficient justification.

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    Everytime i give a (fruitless) rationalization i am feeling the pain of whatever is bothering me.

    By allowing myself to go through this mental clearing process i can "get it out my system" per se preferably in cyberspace.

    It's not fair to do this with people directly and personally.

    In my opinion, no one needs to directly or indirectly be burdened with the troubles of others unless they were paid to do it.

    Come on INTj's, we are supposed to be independent thinkers, we can figure out the best course of action. One key is ORGANISATION.
    Remember to keep things simple and not any simpler like Einstein once said.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wym123
    Quote Originally Posted by snowyc
    Ah, the eternal conflict between doing what one believes to be "right" versus the compassion of the others who want you to do something "wrong".

    I have to admit, INTj's are terrible at doing a few "wrong" things. I have missed many opportunites to do some "wrong" things because i'm adamant towards what is ethical and thus "right" from my arrogant high-horse INTj perspective on things thus maintaining the "nice sweet guy" image even when a drunk (probably Artisan) girly comes over in a club and literally gives an offer of sex and i'm in total self-denial and habitually not wanting to deal with that aspect of life.

    For me, naughty things like casual sex have become like the job I can't get because I had "gaps on your CV" and "no references" and the only way to get a foot back on the ladder even if it's against my sense of what is "right" is to be more like an Artisan who might "perform" to get what they want.

    Honesty is always the best policy but we can't help the fact that some of us will use what ever tactic to get where they want. Depending on temperament we could then say who's more likely/unlikely to it.

    A trouble with being an INTj is knowing too much OR perhaps more accurate, thinking and talking like it to the point of self-paralysis. In essence, we create our own problems just through habitual action or inaction!!

    Maybe that's why Freud implied that psychological problems stem from sex - the lack of or misappropriate use of. God damn, i'm too damn ethical, can't have casual sex because it's just another form of "escapism" in my mind although like alcohol it would provide a short term BUZZ and most of us do live in the land of "instant happiness". I think as an INTj, having a holistic approach to life, always seeking long-term strategies for "success", "happiness" and "love" and don't forget that "hidden agenda" of being healthy hence a notorious honest nature that keeps me virtuous and frustrated with mental masturbations** galore when i fail to get results in the here-and-now.

    -- that ends another fruitless rationalization of mine

    **intellectual jerking off i.e. rationalizing to comfort one's self
    How do you fight the ensuing depression that results in letting yourself go? It is very very easy to live a life in which your brain disregards the consequences of your actions, in which you disavow the concept of living up to some ethical ideal. However, I know that I have done something very similar and consequently, an explicable feeling of emptiness develops and even though I can surpress it, it will bother me from time to time. It is as if you begin to question the meaning of existence itself and the feeling of "what's the point?" constantly bothers you. It is as if you realize that there is nothing else in the world except that which physical sensations such as happiness and sadness, and you wonder whether that is all there is to existence. It is as if you realize that you are just some mindless drone in some elaborate play directed by the laws of Physics. It is as if you begin to feel that you are trap in some world like the Matrix where all there is to existence is your physical sensations. Though, I cannot fully explain why, these views make my life feel so empty and meaningless, and that puts me in depression. You sound as if you have been through this phase and have risen above it. How do you do it?

    What I have done to fight of this emptiness is by choosing to pursue a life that does not make me happy but makes me satisfied and pleased. This also means that I do not pursue a life in which I let myself go because there is no satisfaction in that, just emptiness.

    Even though we "speak" differently, we have a lot in common, wym123.

    I will say that I generally don't get depressed anymore, though. It naturally happens, as I am human. But I can "out think it" so to say, because I understand why I am feeling the way that I am. ANd I have established some things that I can return to and draw strength from when I feel an odd state coming on.

    More so than adadmic success or anything else, that technique has been something I've developed over my life as a 'survival tecnhique'. It has to do with those.... "energy manipulation" theories I spoke about a long time ago.

    But that is a huge tangent to this discussion, and I don't want to get into it right now.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg
    This is all the effect of entering the last stage of the first archetypal phase, the Shadow. I've been through it. Basically your unconscious is exhausting all the possibilities Ti alone can offer. Reaching the end of this possibility range correlates with an internal biological change that unites the ego with the unconscious, and in the case of the INTJ, brings extroversion to the surface as a "slave function" for the other four. (introversion in particular)

    In other words, this is just temporary and will pass, but there is no easy way to get through this time. My advice: find a dual.

    What you say sounds... somewhat accurate, though I don't know enough about which you speak to make a real statement.

    What I don't like is the idea of being dependant on others for yourself to feel good. That's been something I've been working on for a while. I think it is a tremendous luxroury to have (good relationships, duals, etc), but not neccesary. At least for me, that's how I see it. Because what if that person dies? Then the support is gone, and it's just you. What happens then? Do you look for osmeone else to ease your pain?

    I'd rather get to the root of the perceived 'pain', and deal with it there. But that is harder to do... though I'm not afraid.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    UDP, I have a similar attitude, especially concerning the internet.

    After a few years of "mediocre above-average" performance (higher than many, but below the best), I too decided it would be an interesting challenge to get a 4.0. Then I realized that motivation was the natural result of genuine interest... so I stopped forcing it. It's been going up ever since because I'm now taking breadth courses of my choosing.

    As for becoming tired of it all, mess up your routine somehow. Last spring my computer's hard drive died and I didn't fix it... I went to the library a lot to do work and ended up socializing quite a bit and then that summer I met my duality partner there.

    Sometimes you have to make room for opportunity...
    I(N)Tj

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    If you are at a university, your primary objective is to be creating your future career. You can do this by achieving high marks, being involved, etc. No one likes doing poorly in school, it inhibits your intelligence. If you do poorly you won't have the self-esteem required to do non-academic tasks with confidence. Do well in school. Do it for the relief of stress it will provide. I find when I concentrate on school and completing my primary goals, i can concentrate better on other hobbies i have because i have the basic priority goals of my current university life handled. Listen to me because goddamnit, i accomplish a lot.
    asd

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    prioritizing things and sticking to such a plan is a proven strategy. I agree

    Diffent tasks yeild different pay offs.....

    ......
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    don't listen to heath. employers don't care what gpa you had. no one does. let me interpret heath for you: "If you do poorly you won't have the self-esteem required to do non-academic tasks with confidence. Do well in school."="i havent been laid in years. i think being president of the chess club is an accomplishment. i am a loser. no one likes me. i try to make up for it, but no one cares what gpa i have. in fact, when people see my test scores, they hate me even more because i wrecked the curve. the only relief of stress i get is from yanking on my own stomach. when i graduate, i will continue with my behavior and my wife that married me for the money will slowly grow to hate me. i will continue to yank on my own stomach despite being married."

    no offense heath. it's for the benefit of others, nothing personal. completely objective.
    LII
    that is what i was getting at. if there is an inescapable appropriation that is required in the act of understanding, this brings into question the validity of socionics in describing what is real, and hence stubborn contradictions that continue to plague me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariano Rajoy
    don't listen to heath. employers don't care what gpa you had. no one does. let me interpret heath for you: "If you do poorly you won't have the self-esteem required to do non-academic tasks with confidence. Do well in school."="i havent been laid in years. i think being president of the chess club is an accomplishment. i am a loser. no one likes me. i try to make up for it, but no one cares what gpa i have. in fact, when people see my test scores, they hate me even more because i wrecked the curve. the only relief of stress i get is from yanking on my own stomach. when i graduate, i will continue with my behavior and my wife that married me for the money will slowly grow to hate me. i will continue to yank on my own stomach despite being married."

    no offense heath. it's for the benefit of others, nothing personal. completely objective.
    No one cares about GPA?? What job do you have and what's your salary?

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    Quote Originally Posted by wym123
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariano Rajoy
    don't listen to heath. employers don't care what gpa you had. no one does. let me interpret heath for you: "If you do poorly you won't have the self-esteem required to do non-academic tasks with confidence. Do well in school."="i havent been laid in years. i think being president of the chess club is an accomplishment. i am a loser. no one likes me. i try to make up for it, but no one cares what gpa i have. in fact, when people see my test scores, they hate me even more because i wrecked the curve. the only relief of stress i get is from yanking on my own stomach. when i graduate, i will continue with my behavior and my wife that married me for the money will slowly grow to hate me. i will continue to yank on my own stomach despite being married."

    no offense heath. it's for the benefit of others, nothing personal. completely objective.
    Do you ever stop asking accusatory questions?
    No one cares about GPA?? What job do you have and what's your salary?

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    I sense some inter-INTj envy and unnecessary rivalry here.
    Remember to keep things simple and not any simpler like Einstein once said.

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    Quote Originally Posted by snowyc
    I sense some inter-INTj envy and unnecessary rivalry here.
    watch out, your Fe may get bitten off
    LII
    that is what i was getting at. if there is an inescapable appropriation that is required in the act of understanding, this brings into question the validity of socionics in describing what is real, and hence stubborn contradictions that continue to plague me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariano Rajoy
    don't listen to heath. employers don't care what gpa you had. no one does. let me interpret heath for you: "If you do poorly you won't have the self-esteem required to do non-academic tasks with confidence. Do well in school."="i havent been laid in years. i think being president of the chess club is an accomplishment. i am a loser. no one likes me. i try to make up for it, but no one cares what gpa i have. in fact, when people see my test scores, they hate me even more because i wrecked the curve. the only relief of stress i get is from yanking on my own stomach. when i graduate, i will continue with my behavior and my wife that married me for the money will slowly grow to hate me. i will continue to yank on my own stomach despite being married."

    no offense heath. it's for the benefit of others, nothing personal. completely objective.
    do you see therpists regularly?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Default "lifestyle"

    At any rate, I spoke with my advisor today.

    It's a shame - I need to schedule longer appointments.

    We got to the subject of "the life of the mind", and shifting lifestyles. I realize that I am a point where I can shift from simply plodding around in mediocrity, or I can elevate myself into something I want to be.

    Mariano Rajoy, I don't agree with what you are saying, because what you are suggesting is just stuff that I'm not interested in. That is not a challenging or fuitful in my eyes. There's value there, but not the value that I want.

    I want to transition into a lifestyle that is much more than just that or getting by on grades.

    To be honest,
    it's not about academic success, or grades. That's just an easy, somewhat superficial manner of monitoring it. The real issue is something much more, and my converstation hours ago really highlighted it- it's a lifestyle change. Something, in my eyes............ something that I am changing. changing for the better. In all reality, it may be just as irrelevant as going completely hedonistic (as wym123 said). But it's something I want to do for myself. Not because of the grades. Not because of any external achievements or glory.

    I want it because I want myself to experience that higher level, or at least differnt level. A new level. Something more than. I want to be on the verge.

    (to be poetic about it (( in for my own self, anyways)), that is how I can act out 'my fantasy', my truer reality)..... but this is going over into something else. I don't want to talk about that right yet. I have to focus on step 1 first.


    PS: Not that I really consider this to be quite so similar... but I am reminded of some zen things, a search for enlightenment.
    PPS: This may even be a futher, greater branch, or tangent. Perhaps more later, when I have time, luxourious time, to think about this. If I continue thinking about this, I'll go all day and not do my schoolwork. So I must go now. (I'm saying this more for myself than anyone else).
    Later
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    i am my own therapist
    LII
    that is what i was getting at. if there is an inescapable appropriation that is required in the act of understanding, this brings into question the validity of socionics in describing what is real, and hence stubborn contradictions that continue to plague me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariano Rajoy
    i am my own therapist
    If you are self-employed, obviously it is a different matter. But from what I have seen, for the higher paying jobs (like $75000 opening salary and good benefits), GPA does matter.

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    What the fuck??75000 opening salary?
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    What the fuck??75000 opening salary?
    My friend never had a job while he was in college. After he graduated (only took him three years), he got hired by Microsoft as a Software Test Engineer and his opening salary is $75000 with very nice health benefits. He tells me that people on this team are very friendly and his job is rather flexible (he can work at home if he wants). He is a magma cum laude and is also one of the better programmers I know

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    Edited for gayness.
    ENTp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Transigent
    GPA don't matter if you are a NORMAL person though.

    There will always be the "shining stars", they aren't human, don't try to be them.
    He is not a "shining star." He went to a average university (SUNY Stony Brook). He is not American-born and can't even perfect English. His writing skills are horrid. One thing I have always admired about him is his work ethics. I think they saw that when they looked at his GPA and knew that he is the kind of person that will bring value to the company. (This is besides the fact that he did extremely well on the on-spot programming quiz interviews at Microsoft (well those aren't that hard if you are a gift programmer.).)

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    Quote Originally Posted by wym123
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    What the fuck??75000 opening salary?
    My friend never had a job while he was in college. After he graduated (only took him three years), he got hired by Microsoft as a Software Test Engineer and his opening salary is $75000 with very nice health benefits. He tells me that people on this team are very friendly and his job is rather flexible (he can work at home if he wants). He is a magma cum laude and is also one of the better programmers I know

    No, no, no, you're deluding me wym! I was expecting a research on correlations about first income and GPA, not a story about a friend of yours!

    (joking!).
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    What the fuck??75000 opening salary?
    That comes down to 2884 EUR per month, 13 times a year, after taxes, before social insurance (i.e. about 2200 with social insurance)

    Easily achieved anywhere in Italy, even for a beginner.

    Do not forget that Americans always name the gross sum, before taxes and social insurance.

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    Quote Originally Posted by emeye
    )
    Easily achieved anywhere in Italy, even for a beginner.
    Absolutely NOT TRUE.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by emeye
    )
    Easily achieved anywhere in Italy, even for a beginner.
    Absolutely NOT TRUE.
    Tutte le cose sono relative

    In other words, I would beg to differ--but, you may need to relocate to Milano or Roma. And, I am also assuming work in IT or telecommunications (after all, the original post referred to Microsoft; talking about Microsoft, the person got a really good deal, as the starting salary there is 58.000, which is most empathically not very good, Seattle being as expensive as it is)

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