This strikes me as one of the more obvious 'proofs' that I am INFj.
(Also, SLE friend JWC3 has asked for more specific insights into moi, so here we go).
Here follow my thoughts on SLEs.
True to socionic form, my relationships with SLEs have indeed typically been ones of "Conflict".
Now let me immediately clarify that I do NOT hate SLEs!! (Omg, there's that EII compulsion "not to offend anyone" - more proof! Heavens above.)
The conflicts in question have ranged from mild bemusement to extreme irritation and psychological/emotional/physical damage. This has largely depended on the SLE and his level of maturity and self-control. (I've known younger SLEs who showed much more self-control than older ones.)
Experiences with them in school were particularly traumatic. As a young EII I was hardly equipped to deal with their as-yet unbridled power. Even worse was that my parents forced me to play team sports that were naturally populated by a slew of aggressive, SLE jock types. Needless to say I did not fit in, and these were very miserable and humiliating times for me.
Of course, today I fully accept them for who they are and try to give them the space to be such. On some level I do admire their obvious strength and tenacity, and they can be hella funny when they're feeling gregarious, but in 1-on-1 close contact I still find them very intimidating!
Face-to-face, the sheer force of their personality quickly overpowers me, awakens all my worst insecurities, and it usually doesn't take long before I'm scrambling for the nearest / quickest / politest way out of the situation.
Also (and I admit I may be generalising too much here) in my experience they seem to require almost constant attention and stimulation which I simply cannot provide...
In contact with them, the typical order of events is this:
Initially my compels me to adapt myself to their needs and expectations, attempting to make the encounter as pleasant for them as possible at my own expense. This requires a suppression of which is difficult and psychologically painful to sustain. I tend to feel somewhat fake when I'm around them. I feel like I need to put on a show of bravado just to keep up with them in conversation and maintain their respect and attention.
Inevitably I become exhausted within minutes and must find some way to exit the situation without raising too much suspicion as to the real reason, which they would perceive as weakness. This puzzles them, because they thought the conversation was going great, oblivious to my unseen efforts. Consequently they perceive me then as simply being rude and unsociable, and tend to lose whatever initial interest they had in me.
And this failure on my part to create or sustain a peaceful, harmonious, beneficial relation with them is internalised and brooded over for any length of time depending on the magnitude of the failure.
(Of course, today I am able to simply pin it down to socionic differences and not beat myself up for not being "good enough", but this was not always the case).
Even in face-to-face contact with sweet, helpful, well-meaning SLEs, I always feel a lingering dread that they might snap at any moment if they perceive that their efforts are not being properly recognised and appreciated, or if they've been wronged or challenged in some way.
This is due to some very bad experiences I've had with (suspected) SLEs throughtout my life.
(Long anecdotes below, feel free to skip)
Originally Posted by Shagbag
Originally Posted by Shagbag
Those are just a few.
Maybe I've just been unlucky with SLE contacts so far and need to be exposed to some "good" ones to neutralise the fears I've acquired over the years.
Or maybe we just need to give each other a wide berth?? lol
And yes, SLEs welcome.
(JWC3, get in here, I know you want to.) :wink: