INFps, ENFjs and saying awkward shit

[JWC3]

What are your experiences with this?

[1981slater]

I say awkward shit all the time, even when I sleep and I don't receive any money for this.

[Gilly]

Sometimes I say awkward shit intentionally just for kicks. I am pretty weird so I know that some people find me, just my presence, kind of inherently awkward, but I usually overcome the boundaries put up by weirdness with charm and general relatability. I don't really like being in awkward situations, but I find that I am often the one diffusing awkwardness when it does happen. I know some, especially EIEs, who have an almost claustrophobic fear of awkwardness; my Fe-EIE friend loves watching Curb Your Enthusiasm because sometimes when he gets in really awkward situations he kind of shuts down and I guess it helps him have a sense of humor about himself.

[sarinana]

everybody is awkward.

[silverchris9]

Everything I say is awkward. Half of my social interactions consist of me figuring out what to say that won't be awkward while talking, leading to me saying something awkward. Half of my interactions with myself involve self-reproach for saying something awkward that the person to whom I said the awkward thing has, I'm sure, long since completely forgotten. It's clearly because I think on far too high of a level for the petty mortals with whom I spend my time. Or maybe I'm just socially awkward.

[JohnDo]

Saying awkward shit all the time is characteristic of ENFjs but not of INFps I think. It is probably the best criterion to distinguish between ENFj and INFp

Example: Barack Obama is not famous for awkward shit so he is not ENFj but Fe-INFp...

[discojoe]

Uh, I think NFs in general are pretty good about not impulsively saying embarrassing things.

You should hear the shit my SLI dad says.

[Ezra]

Uh, I think NFs in general are pretty good about not impulsively saying embarrassing things.

Agreed. All the Beta NFs I know are masters of diplomacy.

[Lotus]

Agreed. All the Beta NFs I know are masters of diplomacy.

diplomacy? lol


i think Beta NFs are great at being able to say things casually that would be awkward coming from anyone else. like honestly, i can't even imagine an awkward Beta NF right now… weird. to me they always feel totally justified in saying whatever their little hearts desire, regardless of how weird or 'awkward' it could be.

[crazedrat]

ya i try to say weird things to get people to react. like on our first day in biology lab recently we were going around telling things about ourselves and everyone was kissing ass. it felt really fake to me so i said "i hate biology" as the thing about myself. (and then this LSE bitch got really self righteous about biology). I think I do it to make people express themselves honestly. When people are being fake I actually often feel the opposite feeling they're portraying, almost like i'm balancing things out in my mind. And I have to express the opposite. but then when people acknowledge what i'm expressing my feelings for it die out. on this forum for a while i kept making sexually lude comments because i thought alot of the social interaction was motivated by sexual desires. but then when people started acknowledging it i actually stopped expressing that and got slightly annoyed by it when i saw it, as if now people felt a need to be sexually lude even maybe when they weren't feeling that way.

Saying awkward shit all the time is characteristic of ENFjs but not of INFps I think. It is probably the best criterion to distinguish between ENFj and INFp

Example: Barack Obama is not famous for awkward shit so he is not ENFj but Fe-INFp...

Yes, and the best way to distinguish between an SLE and an LSI is whether they watch wrestlemania. For example my dad does not watch wrestlemania, so he is not SLE but LSI.

[Lotus]

lol yes, you are a good example. even the weirdest stuff you say never comes off as awkward imo

[matilda]

1) they assume that people are non-judgmental (like them)

2) they want a reaction out of you. like they're playing a part

[Satan]

ya i try to say weird things to get people to react. like on our first day in biology lab recently we were going around telling things about ourselves and everyone was kissing ass. it felt really fake to me so i said "i hate biology" as the thing about myself. (and then this LSE bitch got really self righteous about biology). I think I do it to make people express themselves honestly. When people are being fake I actually often feel the opposite feeling they're portraying, almost like i'm balancing things out in my mind. And I have to express the opposite. but then when people acknowledge what i'm expressing my feelings for it die out. on this forum for a while i kept making sexually lude comments because i thought alot of the social interaction was motivated by sexual desires. but then when people started acknowledging it i actually stopped expressing that and got slightly annoyed by it when i saw it, as if now people felt a need to be sexually lude even maybe when they weren't feeling that way.


Yes, and the best way to distinguish between an SLE and an LSI is whether they watch wrestlemania. For example my dad does not watch wrestlemania, so he is not SLE but LSI.

It's a bit nicer than saying "this is bullshit".

[silverchris9]

I suppose I'm the only awkward beta NF then. Woe is me, awkward even among elegance.

Maybe I'm more self-censorious than necessary. I suppose what I say is more likely to be misunderstood than truly awkward. But then I turn it over in my head so much. Meh. I should be reading.

@crazed, I also tend to feel the opposite way as people are projecting that they feel. I actually had a similar issues when I felt people were being insincere in church, particularly in the youth ministries where they try to get people all unnecessarily hyped with stupid games, like, really? And it just pissed me off, so I would sit there and be semi-sullen, even if I liked/agreed with the message when they finally got to it.

[Creepy-male]

Lol I say akward shit all the time, but its not in a serious way, I try to spin it lightly with a bit of humor to chase away the bad vibes from akward moments.

I never used to be like that though, I used to just get really stiff and stand real straight when something akward happened, now I just try to be a little more relaxed and try to find the humor in akward situations, it makes surviving life in public easier.

If something akward happens and then there thats shameful pause where everyone is tense and doesn't know what to say, I'll just bust out and and try to say something blunt addressing what just happened in a clever way, surprisingly most of the time it works and people laugh.

[Creepy-male]

It's a bit nicer than saying "this is bullshit".

You know I've always fanatisized about making a scene in the middle of a lengthy monotonic lecture, I want to knock over the papers on my desk and stand up and point and be like "BLASPHEMY!" when the professor says something. It has to be something really random though.

The other one is to have like a cheesy barry white porn groove 70's jam as my ringer on my cellphone, turn it up and have someone call me in the middle of class and have it go off, then turn to the person next to me and be like "hey I think your cellphone is ringing" and if they are like "no man thats your cellphone" then all deny it super-confidently like "nah man, me? I don't have a cellphone, nah thats definitally yours"

I have tons of other ones I've thought of, but none of them I will actually probably do, crazedrat has gotten +1 for doing something bold though in class. The classroom environment to me is always so stuffy, I wish people would just relax, you don't have to do schoolwork with a stick up your ass... it just makes the whole environment horrible. I actually find relaxed environments more productive cause you can focus and put more of your energy towards the project rather than towards putting your guard up in a hostile environment.

[silverchris9]

Maybe it's your audience?

It is, partially. But it's also because I a) live in my head during conversations, and b) tend to talk in a series of metaphors and implications and "you know"s, but I forget to establish the meaning of these metaphors, implications, and "you know"s before using them, so I think I confuse people.

I do this too, in tedious conversations (like with certain deltas who like to talk about how good their sound systems are) I'll say things like, "Do you jack off to it? Maybe you should, it'll offset the cost." It really depends on the situation, sometimes it's inappropriate... but if it's borderline appropriate and the entertainment value outstrips the awkwardness it's worth it. It's backfired quite spectacularly a couple of times though

lol.

[jughead]

I would say Enfjs say more awkward shit as Fi is their ignoring function. Take sarah silverman, her comdedy and her recent TED debacle. And their EJ temp...or Fe leading or whatever makes it the way it is.

[discojoe]

Beta NFs don't say awkward shit. This topic is retarded.

[Joy]

I've not observed this from some Beta NF's (as well as other types). I think for Beta NF's it's almost like it's meant to be a puzzle. It's trying to get some point across without just flat out saying what they're trying to communicate. Doing so has to be a little bit awkward in order to stand out enough to cause the desired reaction. (It's the weak Se that causes a lack of directness, I think.) Or sometimes they're just weird. Or both.

Perhaps awkwardness is in the eye of the beholder to some extent?

[Joy]

It's trying to get some point across without just flat out saying what they're trying to communicate. Doing so has to be a little bit awkward in order to stand out enough to cause the desired reaction.

Perhaps awkwardness is in the eye of the beholder to some extent?

To add to this thought (and address another form of behavior that could potentially be seen as "awkward" by some): Beta ST's are dense as fuck sometimes when it comes to social and interpersonal matters. Their strengths are focused entirely on the external aspects of situations and they value Fe over Fi, so it's not always easy to communicate points about some of the finer aspects of social/interpersonal matters to them in a way they'll be receptive to without putting on the "little displays of Fe" that I have mentioned in the past. In that topic I was referring to how an IEI might get a point across when an SLE is saying/doing something he/she shouldn't, but these "little displays of Fe" work for getting points across in other ethical (Fe/Fi) areas as well. I could see how the displays of Fe could look awkward to some people, but Beta ST's need them in order to properly "get it". They find this type of behavior valuable and endearing, not awkward.

[Joy]

Yes, and the best way to distinguish between an SLE and an LSI is whether they watch wrestlemania. For example my dad does not watch wrestlemania, so he is not SLE but LSI.

Everything I say is awkward. Half of my social interactions consist of me figuring out what to say that won't be awkward while talking, leading to me saying something awkward. Half of my interactions with myself involve self-reproach for saying something awkward that the person to whom I said the awkward thing has, I'm sure, long since completely forgotten. It's clearly because I think on far too high of a level for the petty mortals with whom I spend my time. Or maybe I'm just socially awkward.

Sounds like you just need more confidence.

I suppose I'm the only awkward beta NF then. Woe is me, awkward even among elegance.

Maybe I'm more self-censorious than necessary. I suppose what I say is more likely to be misunderstood than truly awkward. But then I turn it over in my head so much. Meh. I should be reading.

@crazed, I also tend to feel the opposite way as people are projecting that they feel. I actually had a similar issues when I felt people were being insincere in church, particularly in the youth ministries where they try to get people all unnecessarily hyped with stupid games, like, really? And it just pissed me off, so I would sit there and be semi-sullen, even if I liked/agreed with the message when they finally got to it.

Less thinking, more doing.

Sometimes I say awkward shit intentionally just for kicks. I am pretty weird so I know that some people find me, just my presence, kind of inherently awkward, but I usually overcome the boundaries put up by weirdness with charm and general relatability. I don't really like being in awkward situations, but I find that I am often the one diffusing awkwardness when it does happen. I know some, especially EIEs, who have an almost claustrophobic fear of awkwardness; my Fe-EIE friend loves watching Curb Your Enthusiasm because sometimes when he gets in really awkward situations he kind of shuts down and I guess it helps him have a sense of humor about himself.

Do you ever purposely use awkwardness to diffuse an awkward situation? I've seen this done by Beta NF's. Like it's awkward and they'll say or do something that's WAY more awkward but then the whole thing just becomes funny so it's not awkward anymore.

[redbaron]

Do you ever purposely use awkwardness to diffuse an awkward situation? I've seen this done by Beta NF's. Like it's awkward and they'll say or do something that's WAY more awkward but then the whole thing just becomes funny so it's not awkward anymore.

yes, my brother does this all the time. He even does it with me when I say something awkward and then we all end up laughing and everyone feels better. Hooray for Fe-creative!

[Joy]

[discojoe]

yes, my brother does this all the time. He even does it with me when I say something awkward and then we all end up laughing and everyone feels better. Hooray for Fe-creative!

^SEI

[Gilly]

Yeah.

[Gilly]

Do you ever purposely use awkwardness to diffuse an awkward situation? I've seen this done by Beta NF's. Like it's awkward and they'll say or do something that's WAY more awkward but then the whole thing just becomes funny so it's not awkward anymore.

Not really; typically I'll change the subject or do something appropriate to diffuse the tension. The person I've noticed who does what you speak of the most is an ESE friend of mine.

My intentional awkwardness is mostly for my own amusement, just to sort of toy with people.

[Gilly]

PS, dying your hair and trying to look tough and 21 again isn't going to turn you into an SLE.

[Joy]

Fortunately, dying my hair has nothing to do with being SLE, I'm not trying to look tough or be 21, and it doesn't matter what you think my type is.

[1981slater]

REAL TITLE FOR THIS THREAD

1) Non beta-NFs do not understand beta NFs
2) Joy's type for the 6546578642121th time

[1981slater]

The avatar pic does not coincide with this

[Joy]

I should hope not?

[Gilly]

Fortunately, dying my hair has nothing to do with being SLE, I'm not trying to look tough or be 21,

So the avatar switch right around when your self-typing switches to SLE is just a coincidence. Mmmmm.

and it doesn't matter what you think my type is.

You should write that down somewhere you will see it a lot.

[Joy]

So the avatar switch right around when your self-typing switches to SLE is just a coincidence. Mmmmm.

I changed my self-typing months ago. I changed my avatar to what it is now like a week ago. I was thinking of going back to an anime avatar I used to have though because I love the character and there's some really cool shit is happening with him right now in the manga.

You should write that down somewhere you will see it a lot.

"It doesn't matter what George thinks my type is"? It don't think that'll be necessary.

Seriously though, I don't really care what my type is that much these days, and I'm thinking about Socionics less than I used to. I'd like to just not think about it at all, but I'm not sure that'll ever happen.

[Joy]

Or this works.

[thePirate]

definitely not SLE, I dont even think your beta tbh joy

if you really dont care then whatever, but since you cant put it away its likely that you really do so you might as well figure out what you really are.

[Ezra]

lmao @ this thread

[WVBRY]

Uh, I think NFs in general are pretty good about not impulsively saying embarrassing things.

When I was a little kid i used to say embarassing things all the time. As time passed though, I learned not to say them and to think about what I say but the bad experiences from childhood embarssment still linger to this day.

I think saying those embarrssing things really stemmed from a lack of Te, in other words not knowing common thought patterns of society around you, which is what Ive developped to overcome this weakness.

[discojoe]

When I was a little kid i used to say embarassing things all the time. As time passed though, I learned not to say them and to think about what I say but the bad experiences from childhood embarssment still linger to this day.

I think saying those embarrssing things really stemmed from a lack of Te, in other words not knowing common thought patterns of society around you, which is what Ive developped to overcome this weakness.

I think it's the opposite, that Te types are the ones who blurt out embarrassing and awkward comments without considering the effect it will have. Te types' main priority is factual accuracy, which they value over the Fe feelings of other people.

[Ezra]

I think it's the opposite, that Te types are the ones who blurt out embarrassing and awkward comments without considering the effect it will have. Te types' main priority is factual accuracy, which they value over the Fe feelings of other people.

Agreed.