Would LSE and SLI chase loved one if something goes wrong?? or do they only sigh and put it away and live on in spite of hurt hearts?
Would ESTj or ISTp chase a loved one if something goes wrong?
Would LSE and SLI chase loved one if something goes wrong?? or do they only sigh and put it away and live on in spite of hurt hearts?
I think there's a story behind this question.Originally Posted by SenoritaC
ISTp
SLI
Enneagram 5 with a side of wings.
I bet there is!
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Once it's over, it's over, I only ever "get back" if we somehow stay friends and i'm snared into sex, but if it's not going to work it won't, didn't work the first time and I haven't found it work the second time. I've never chased after a girl when it's over, regardless of the situation.
Actually, i'd rather leave it as not working than going back to it, it's better to remember the good memories rather than fucking them over too.
I believe myself to be ISTp.
Possibly. I remember when I was 17 I dated a girl and she finished with her partner and started dating me, he was forever chasing after her. I remember thinking that won't ever be me.
Most relationships i've had have reached a stage where we go on to do different things, indeed, I remember one where I was never quite sure of her being sexually attractive, but she was good at listening to my feelings and I talked about a lot of stuff which was new to me to do. She wanted me to settle down but I was never quite ready to do the "moving in for ever after" at that stage. Anyway various other things including this like changes of jobs, and me moving back to a healthier lifestyle - we would go out often, smoke a lot - i'd moved away from exercise and stuff for a while, had plenty of money and enjoyed going out drinking and eating and stuff, anyway as my interests changed and I would try to get her involved in hillwalking and stuff, she wasn't really interested. Suffice to say that it sort of ended, but I still think about her fondly and think perhaps I should have made the commitment to settle down, but I wasn't quite ready.
In the chasing after - it's my humble experience that when it comes down to it, it's often the woman who decides if she is dating or not. I think that guys find it harder to get over. Women just seem - to me - to move on easier. I dunno, they get a new hairdo and then it's like new them, where as the guy is still getting his short back and sides, lol. Interestingly perhaps, I remember going to McDonalds not so long ago, I popped in at lunchtime, and it was full of guy with their kids - sort of like guys who looked a bit old and tired. It occured to me that they were seperated, they see the kids at the weekend, and the woman has the weekend to themselves, to go out socialising, meeting new people etc, and in this country the woman gets all the additional government benefits in this situation, plus often child support from the guy. So it's sort of related in a way, anyway, that is that for observations here and there, i'm sure it works both ways.... but ... I could go on, I could be wrong, but it is just my humble observations from the part of the globe where I live.
Interestingly, considered this for a while, but it wasn't quite right, it was sort of like an "ESTj gone wrong" in some ways - which is probably to do with the temperament. My ESTj boss typed me ISTp incidentally, and at later date when interacting with other ISTp's the indentity relation struck me more than what it did with mirrors.
Oh, i'm sure of my type, and I VI myself as ISTp, I suppose I was just a little curious what you would come up with, sorry if needed.
Yes.
IMO, it depends on what went wrong, why it went wrong, how much they love, and who else is involved. If the chasee doesn't hate being chased, and only the chaser and chasee are involved, I would assume the chase would continue despite "hurt hearts."
It's really, really hard for me to move on after I develop feelings for someone but I never chase anyone.
girl. . .you know. . .
I am having SUCH a hard time moving on. Trying not to chase. . .
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
No, he is withdrawing. I need to respect that. I've been a bit intrusive lately.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
It's been my experience guys don't like women who chase them. Doing nothing has always worked for me. If they really want you, they'll find you.girl. . .you know. . .
I am having SUCH a hard time moving on. Trying not to chase. . .
how do you reciprocate back to show that he is not chasing a dead end? assuming you are also interested in him but is inhibited becuase of the reason you mentioned. or is it completely 100% him doing the chasing?
(D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)
Awh would they do that if they were victims? See, I would've thought an EIE whose life is like, devoted to this stuff would do things like that? But you see what I find with Ni creatives is that they can have this grand vision but they just WAIT and do NOTHING practical to get to that point...
I cannot understand, maybe they just didn't want it enough or something. Ni creatives you disappoint me!!
In my experience (not much, by the way) with LSE and SLI... they really don't chase --
Beyond an initial tidal wave of strong Si & Te mojo...they seem to "almost" dissapear in your day-to-day life-
Yet, they will remember you in a positive way (privately) for many years -
I'm waaaaay beyond the "wanting to fall in love" phase anymore so I just appreciate people being kind & genuine during the attraction period... and I have faith that Delta SiTe's will be honorable (as friends or not) in the long run -
*sorry I guess this came up as duplicate*
Anyway.....editing: I think that it is !ENFPs! that do the chasing ;-)
That's what I was saying too!! We are the ones who can see the beautiful possibilities and opportunities that can come of it!
So, how does one chase an SLI, so as not to scare him away?
(I guess IEEs know this instinctively, but i'm worried my partial socionics knowledge may interfere)
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
so, your worried your socionics knowledge will interfere with your SLI interactions, yet instead of 'acting instinctively' you decide to ask for more of the same knowledge you fear fucked you up in the first place
where in this mind of yours does that make sense?
<Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" isand not
true. . .but its more my "partial" socionics knowledge that i fear might interfere. And there's no going back, so the only way to solve this would be to try to make my knowledge as complete as possible.
And i'm just curious what has worked for people.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
yyyyyep. That's all i have to say.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
To WAA:
RE -
"That's what I was saying too!! We are the ones who can see the beautiful possibilities and opportunities that can come of it!
So, how does one chase an SLI, so as not to scare him away?"
-----
I think that if you have an intriguing-but-down-to-earth attitude that will be positive--
(ha, ha.... & how can an ENFP *not* be interesting & intriguing???) :-)
SLI's are complex...
they like people that are "real" but they also need something *NEW* --different
SLI's are bored easily --- with humans ---
They want kindness/caring but someone who is strong enough for them (+ silly) :-)
No worries,
you are ENFP! You kick some serious charisma ass!! :-)
TRUE!
True about the SLI boredom, I can see that--this SLI actually was swearing eternal bachelorhood when we first met, saying men aren't cut out to marry and saying how awesome the bachelor life is. Getting to know him more, I feel he doesn't REALLY believe that, but just hasn't met someone who really interested him long-term.
As for ENFp qualities--that's the thing. . .i was REALLLY shy and self-conscious around him in person, so I'm not sure how charismatic i was able to be back then. I can definitely be charismatic and silly among people i feel comfortable with. Right now the only chasing i'm able to do is through email/facebook, and i definitely can try to inject charisma there, but who knows how it would be received.
On the other hand, i thought SLIs dont like people to be tooo showy or emotional.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
I would say that they don't like SHALLOW people (rather than showy) and they don't like to be be emotionally *manipulated* or have to endure mental games & pressure being applied in the emotional arena -
(course, neither do I which is why I get along w/ SLI's..especially Te subtype)
ISTPs want to love & trust others. They value emotional honesty (but, yes, they can get drained by too much exposure to emotional expression Fi or Fe).
SLI's really value their long-standing relationships (especially if this can be balanced with a sense of personal autonomy) and can be quite sentimental.
I think that if you are candid with your feelings but not pushy about it... and if you can also give this person personal space...things could work out.
Then again, sometimes an SLI just needs to sow their wild oats in youth.
As an SLI grows older (as with many types) they begin to realize how much they miss relationships with a significant other, with emotional Fi bonding. I think they also tend to get more spiritual with the passing of time (I know quite a few ISTP's who've become drawn to Buddhism, tapping into Ni more)
Work, I hope that helps. I didn't mean to run off on a tangent so much but that's what happens when my Ne is buzzing around with ideas!
Solidad, dont apologize!! this is exactly the kind of info i'm looking for!! Very relevant for me. Thanks so much!I would say that they don't like SHALLOW people (rather than showy) and they don't like to be be emotionally *manipulated* or have to endure mental games & pressure being applied in the emotional arena -
(course, neither do I which is why I get along w/ SLI's..especially Te subtype)
ISTPs want to love & trust others. They value emotional honesty (but, yes, they can get drained by too much exposure to emotional expression Fi or Fe).
SLI's really value their long-standing relationships (especially if this can be balanced with a sense of personal autonomy) and can be quite sentimental.
I think that if you are candid with your feelings but not pushy about it... and if you can also give this person personal space...things could work out.
Then again, sometimes an SLI just needs to sow their wild oats in youth.
As an SLI grows older (as with many types) they begin to realize how much they miss relationships with a significant other, with emotional Fi bonding. I think they also tend to get more spiritual with the passing of time (I know quite a few ISTP's who've become drawn to Buddhism, tapping into Ni more)
Work, I hope that helps. I didn't mean to run off on a tangent so much but that's what happens when my Ne is buzzing around with ideas!
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Initially no, eventually yes.
What went wrong?
I would say ESTj and ISTP confidently approach someone they are interested in
-
Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
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