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Thread: How do EIEs/ENFjs deal with stress?

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    Default How do EIEs/ENFjs deal with stress?

    So, like a lot of EIEs, I get stressed out easily. Maybe it's Si PoLR, Fe leading, Se HA, EJ temperament... well, probably some combination of the above. Of course, all types get stressed out, but they do so for different reasons, and they deal with it in different ways. So I'm curious how other EIEs on here deal with stress?
    EIE-Ni

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    I was told that I'm always stressed out. My friends would say, " Can't you just relax for once!" I think it has to do with polr but also being creative makes you see so many different variables that it's hard to keep your head on straight. Like I change my mind so much on such small things that I think it creates more problems rather than preventing them which was my goal to begin with.
    That's why having an LSI around helps because they see their objective and go for it rather than weighing out possible outcomes as much.
    EIE tritype 5w4, 4w5, 9w1


    As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
    Carl Jung, "Memories, Dreams, Reflections", 1962

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    For sure -- LSIs' directness / focus is really helpful. Now that you mention it, I think a lot of my stress does come from creative Ni. Doing stressful tasks isn't that bad in itself, but thinking about the "big picture," the hidden implications, the context, the way situations can develop over time, etc. can be very anxiety-inducing. Since EIEs need to be externally focused to feel fulfilled, maybe there are contexts where all this Ni contemplation can drive us insane if not directed towards certain goals.

    Hmm, lacking a dual, how does one deal with this?
    EIE-Ni

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    I used to get stressed and angry REALLY easily; all it took was touching me the wrong way, someone's tone being off, something not working the way it's supposed to, and I would SNAP and transform immediately into this ball of angsty hypertension. I started doing drugs partly because of this; I think smoking pot took my blood pressure down a notch, which helped in the short term. But the thing that really helped me a lot in this realm was learning to monitor myself and devoting a year-long stretch of my life to developing internal control with things like meditation, biofeedback, and all kinds of internal work. I'm more low-key now, and I DEFINITELY don't get angry as easily; even though I don't meditate regularly, simply the thought and feeling patterns and different ways to control myself internally that it helped me develop have given me a much larger degree of control over my emotions and various stress reactions.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Now I'm inspired to pull out some of my old Zen books.
    EIE-Ni

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Yeah, Zen is good stuff, but it's also kind of a trap. Not as much as Tibetan Buddhism, which has a lot of dogma and rules and mythology and procedural bullshit that is totally unnecessary, but personally I found it easy to get caught up in the whole ideology and it gave me a lot of unrealistic expectations. Don't go to it looking for answers, because there aren't any there; just think of it as a tool.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Yeah, I went through a Buddhist phase a while ago, and I'm of two minds on it. I see Buddhism as really good advice mixed up with dogmatic thinking. Zen is by far the least ritualized and mystical branch, but it tends towards vague and contradictory language to emphasize the "non-conceptual" aspect of it, and supposedly the only way to grasp it is through subjective experience and a process of enlightenment that takes many lifetimes (hmm, sounds a little like socionics :wink. For people with that discipline and dedication, I bet it really does lead to a new way of experiencing for reality, but it's not feasible for most of us.

    On the other hand, there are some Zen practitioners who have done a great job presenting Zen without all the mystical baggage, making it easy to integrate into everyday life -- Thich Nhat Hanh springs to mind. And then it can lead to great physical and emotional awareness.

    My main problem is that my attempts at Zen have been more or less contemplative so far. I've read some books on it, but my application is limited because I lack the patience to consistently meditate and integrate Zen techniques into my life.
    EIE-Ni

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    I really need to do something like this. I get so stressed out that I actually worry I might have something really bad happen to me. ESEs especially always tell me I'm way too stressed out and have a huge stick up my ass (the ones I know seem to do nothing BUT relax). I used to have hobbies that I loved which would calm me down, but at some point all of them sort of lost their appeal and now I have nothing. I sleep a lot and talk to friends, but when I'm alone and can't sleep I sometimes feel like I'm going insane. Occasionally I'll find an "addiction" and focus on that but I don't feel attached to it long after it's over like I used to. Nothing really makes me happy, just anxious or peeved. =/

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    my friend has panic attacks, another one drinks a lot (alcoholic), and a third one exercises and masturbates a lot.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nilv View Post
    Doing stressful tasks isn't that bad in itself, but thinking about the "big picture," the hidden implications, the context, the way situations can develop over time,etc can be very anxiety-inducing.
    Could this man be an EIE? I really enjoyed this clip because it reminded me of me. Not the knit cap and parka, of course.


    I hope the link works. I am not very good at these details. ("Such an infinitesimally small chance for success...")

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    So the link did not work for me when I checked it. Interested parties may view this video by going to Youtube and seaching for Men in Black 3 -Griffin at the party scene.

    If someone possessing the rudimentary skill to paste a link would assist me, I would be most grateful.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nilv View Post
    So, like a lot of EIEs, I get stressed out easily. Maybe it's Si PoLR, Fe leading, Se HA, EJ temperament... well, probably some combination of the above. Of course, all types get stressed out, but they do so for different reasons, and they deal with it in different ways. So I'm curious how other EIEs on here deal with stress?
    Not well, if you have read any of my recent posts; as soon as I get stressed out or am confronted with a new situation, I become depersonalized, not cool.
    EIE tritype 5w4, 4w5, 9w1


    As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
    Carl Jung, "Memories, Dreams, Reflections", 1962

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    Quote Originally Posted by nilv View Post
    For sure -- LSIs' directness / focus is really helpful. Now that you mention it, I think a lot of my stress does come from creative Ni. Doing stressful tasks isn't that bad in itself, but thinking about the "big picture," the hidden implications, the context, the way situations can develop over time, etc. can be very anxiety-inducing. Since EIEs need to be externally focused to feel fulfilled, maybe there are contexts where all this Ni contemplation can drive us insane if not directed towards certain goals.

    Hmm, lacking a dual, how does one deal with this?
    Wow, that's really interesting! I find ni actually calms me because I see when I need to do things! And I can grasp the essence of something. I like ti though because they give that much needed structure. I think ti is the answer to stress, they are always like 'CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Do this, this and this. Do it now'- aaah. Couldn't survive without it . I see the bigger things we need to implement, and they give me the ways to implement it .

    Also, yoga is amazing for stress!
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

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