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Thread: INTp-ENTj Mirror Relations

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    € € € MrMoney's Avatar
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    Default INTp-ENTj Mirror Relations

    Romantic relations. What say you? Advice?

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    Jarno's Avatar
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    I had one such a relationship.

    Here's my story...

    The friendship feeling was enourmous, dating your mirror is really fun. You talk a lot and have ALMOST similar views. This is a positive thing, you learn new things, but it's also negative. Since discussions never end. And you end up not really liking eachother / thinking the other is dumb etc. The discussions were exactly like I once read in a russian description 'hot disputes'.

    It's probably most extreme in NT mirror relationships like this one. Since both like to debate and discuss things. The relationship ended because of this, especially (and yes this is only my side of the storie...) because she was really annoying, knew everything better then me, but when I googled it afterwards, she seemed only talking bullshit. Since we had these discussions nearly every day, I ended the relationship. Afterwards I felt bad, since I had the feeling of having lost a really good friend, someone who I trusted. (Yet also someone very annoying...)

    So my experience:

    Friendship YES, dating NO
    Last edited by Jarno; 01-18-2010 at 09:58 PM.

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    +1 to Jarno and Aixelsyd's replies.

    You would also have to be careful of their PoLR, which is your role, and vice versa. When I once discussed weightloss with my ENTj friend, she jumped and screamed that she never wanted to think about it and that she had a right to be loved as she is (Fi-seeking). However, in my head, the two were unrelated -- weightloss as an end in itself.

    Also, the use of the sixth function usually falls short of expectations of the partner. For that, their duals, activators and semi-duals are better.
    NiTe

    The metaphysics of yesterday is the physics of today.

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    € € € MrMoney's Avatar
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    Thanks. What does PoLR mean? More advice, please.

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    Jarno's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SmileyMan View Post
    Thanks. What does PoLR mean? More advice, please.
    '4th function' in model A. (the weakest and least valued function)

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    Quote Originally Posted by SmileyMan View Post
    Thanks. What does PoLR mean? More advice, please.
    Point
    of
    Least
    Resistance

    Functions - Wikisocion
    EII INFj
    Forum status: retired

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    Default What does an ENTj want/like in an INTp friend?

    I want to know, so I can really provide that strongly. I’m uncomfortable going to hang out with him because we’re attracted to each other, but I don’t think we’d be good together (non-duality), so I don’t want that to be the emphasis of our hanging out. I want my awesome friend qualities (and our synergy as friends) to be most evident.

    I've pulled the I-AM-A-MALE-EUNUCH thing with a creepy, immature EXTJ guy a few years ago, and it worked. He stopped thinking of me as female/dateable, but I'm lonely and want an actual, honest friendship, where I don't have to have my guard up all the time and project a firmness I had to constantly with the immature EXTJ. I have other male friendships where this is the case, ENTP, ENFP, and INTp.


    This ENTJ is an extrovert, really cool, and less easy to consciously say 'no' to than other non-duals, probably simply because of the intro-extro attraction and quadra. One of THE only things that holds me back from dating him is the rational-irrational difference in our make-up. He uses first, while I use . This was noticeable when we were dancing.

    I'm having an introverted feeling discomfort issue because he broke up with his ESFP-Fi/ISFJ gf of a few years after she came back from the summer abroad, and he'd danced with me twice that summer at clubs. He just facebooked me, asking if I wanted to go dancing sometime. I may not be the reason for his break-up, but I'm a little concerned, since we were both drunk, and it was club dancing, and he was complimentary, even saying:"I mean, if I wasn't in a relationship, I'd be hitting on you." Then he breaks up. Then he asks me to dance.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    I think I mostly asked this because of an crisis of conscience. I felt attracted to ENTJ while dancing, felt animalistic, worried that it was tangible (I was putting off vibes), reminded him he had a gf, was told it's just the style of dancing, kept dancing, said I didn't want anything awkward, and was told it was more awkward to bring something like that up.

    I'm not sure if I stumbled there morally, or not.


    I'm better at friendships and family relationships than romantic ones......
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    <something> Wynch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    I want to know, so I can really provide that strongly. I’m uncomfortable going to hang out with him because we’re attracted to each other, but I don’t think we’d be good together (non-duality), so I don’t want that to be the emphasis of our hanging out. I want my awesome friend qualities (and our synergy as friends) to be most evident.
    I don't think you should let duality or the lack thereof interfere with the nature of your relationship. If you're attracted, go for it. If you're not attracted or don't want a relationship with him then that's fine too. Just don't let socionics dictate your relationships.

    I've pulled the I-AM-A-MALE-EUNUCH thing
    WTF?

    with a creepy, immature EXTJ guy a few years ago, and it worked. He stopped thinking of me as female/dateable, but I'm lonely and want an actual, honest friendship, where I don't have to have my guard up all the time and project a firmness I had to constantly with the immature EXTJ. I have other male friendships where this is the case, ENTP, ENFP, and INTp.
    IME it's hard to have relationships with most guys where you're seen as friend instead of dateable unless you're in a relationship or they're in a relationship. Regardless, having to lie to them (?) about your sexuality isn't exactly setting the foundation for "synergy".


    This ENTJ is an extrovert, really cool, and less easy to consciously say 'no' to than other non-duals, probably simply because of the intro-extro attraction and quadra. One of THE only things that holds me back from dating him is the rational-irrational difference in our make-up. He uses first, while I use . This was noticeable when we were dancing.

    I'm having an introverted feeling discomfort issue because he broke up with his ESFP-Fi/ISFJ gf of a few years after she came back from the summer abroad, and he'd danced with me twice that summer at clubs. He just facebooked me, asking if I wanted to go dancing sometime. I may not be the reason for his break-up, but I'm a little concerned, since we were both drunk, and it was club dancing, and he was complimentary, even saying:"I mean, if I wasn't in a relationship, I'd be hitting on you." Then he breaks up. Then he asks me to dance.
    First: Either you're interested, or you're not. Pick one without the use of socionics. Don't use socionics in the equation because the more you think of your relationship in terms of socionics the more difficult it will be to create sincere bonds with people.

    Second: I have no idea how His and your are supposed to reveal themselves in a deal-breaking way when you're dancing. I mean, WTF. You're dancing. If you mean "I don't like the way he dances" then there you go.

    Third: Apparently this guy has some serious hots for you if he dumped his girl-friend over it. If that makes you uncomfortable or he makes you uncomfortable then lay the friend card smack down on him fast, because it sounds like you'll need some barriers. If all you're leery about is whether or not you're immoral for being interested in a guy who broke up with his gf over you, you're being pretty ridiculous. The guy broke up with his girl friend (he could have just tried to use you on the side) and his past relationships have nothing to do with you now. Fuck morals and fuck him (or you could start with dancing, your call )
    ILE
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    I'm confused about what you're saying. Do you want to be friends or more, or what? lol


    but to address the title of the thread..

    I personally don't have a lot of experience with INTps, but I when I was talking to an INTp I knew, we'd usually talk about society and other abstract topics like that. I would think ENTj/INTp friendship would focus on NTish topics with a focus on current events and trends. Probably a lot friendly arguing of perspectives and expectations of the future. The relationship would appear cold. I wouldn't imagine that they'd get too close unless there was some attraction. They'd probably just look at each other as people who really has their head on their shoulders and has interesting view-point on things that they've considered a lot themselves. They'd probably respect each other as intellectual equals and maybe occasionally look to each other for advice. ENTj/INTp are like two company executives that like to meet for coffee and talk about how they run their businesses differently. That's how imagine them anyway.


    I have a feeling that your relationship with him will end up romantic however. It just seems inevitable from what you've said. It'll probably start slow. You'll exchange ideas, realize that you have lot in common, and he'll make a move. I'd imagine the relationship would be mostly sexual, and there might be some disappointment if either of you start expecting emotional initiative. I'd expect there to be some hidden attachment for both of you, but both will be reluctant to show it because of uncertainty on the other's position. Even if you talk through it, there will likely always be some restraint.




    my 2 cents
    3w4-5w6-9w8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vero View Post
    I don't think you should let duality or the lack thereof interfere with the nature of your relationship. If you're attracted, go for it. If you're not attracted or don't want a relationship with him then that's fine too. Just don't let socionics dictate your relationships.
    despite what I said up there ^
    3w4-5w6-9w8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vero View Post
    I don't think you should let duality or the lack thereof interfere with the nature of your relationship. If you're attracted, go for it. If you're not attracted or don't want a relationship with him then that's fine too. Just don't let socionics dictate your relationships.


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    Lot's of masochistic BDSM SEX!

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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    I want to know, so I can really provide that strongly. I’m uncomfortable going to hang out with him because we’re attracted to each other, but I don’t think we’d be good together (non-duality), so I don’t want that to be the emphasis of our hanging out. I want my awesome friend qualities (and our synergy as friends) to be most evident.
    I agree with what the others said. But even though he wasn't your dual he would still be in your quadra. That's not bad at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vero View Post
    If all you're leery about is whether or not you're immoral for being interested in a guy who broke up with his gf over you, you're being pretty ridiculous. The guy broke up with his girl friend (he could have just tried to use you on the side) and his past relationships have nothing to do with you now. Fuck morals and fuck him (or you could start with dancing, your call )
    But you shouldn't do anything if you don't feel it's right, just my opinion. If you make a mistake you could regret it for a quite long time.
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
    – Arthur Schopenhauer

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    Your language is cryptic as hell.

    OT: doing nothing would be my advice

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    I once dated an ENTj girl. The so called hot disputes that arrise when discussing things, was enough to break us apart. But for friendship entj's are great. Just don't get to much into debating/discussing.

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