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Thread: Point of reference for emotions

  1. #1
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    Default Point of reference for emotions

    Is this function related? I think it might be...

    I can't identify how I feel unless I know how I "should" feel. That's not to say that I do feel what I "should" feel, I just need a point of reference, something to compare. I react to events, but I couldn't tell you happy, sad, angry, frightened, excited etc. unless I knew what the "right" reaction was.

    Do the other INFps feel like this at all? Do ENFps have the opposite problem?

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    Default Re: Point of reference for emotions

    Quote Originally Posted by ishysquishy
    Is this function related? I think it might be...

    I can't identify how I feel unless I know how I "should" feel. That's not to say that I do feel what I "should" feel, I just need a point of reference, something to compare. I react to events, but I couldn't tell you happy, sad, angry, frightened, excited etc. unless I knew what the "right" reaction was.

    Do the other INFps feel like this at all? Do ENFps have the opposite problem?
    One ENFp response:

    During and after my melt down, I was constantly being accused of inappropriate emotional responses. Over time and after much reflection, I came to the conclusion that there is NO socially "appropriate" response for things. If I cry, show anger, get excited, then I'm "too emotional". If I don't cry, I'm "suppressing". If I laugh, I'm "psychotic".

    (This if kind of funny because part of what led to the melt down was people telling me how I should be responding/feeling. I wasn't feeling/responding that way, thus the logical conclusion was that there was something wrong with me. (Thinking that it's funny...does that make me psychotic??))

    I had to relearn what I knew as a child. That what matters to me is how I actually feel and how another person actually feels. I accept the variances of this. However, taking action on those feelings is a different matter.

    Final answer? Now-a-days, my emotional point of reference is myself. What do I personally find attractive about the situation/person? What do I personally find repelling about the situation/person?

    My understandings of the emotions of others is their own point of reference within themselves. What do they personally find attractive about the situation/person? What do they personally find repelling about the sitation/person?

    Note: If you were to come to me asking questions about how you should be feeling about something, I'd be asking you questions about what you like/dislike about it. I would NOT be attempting to label it as love, hate, joy, sorrow, etc. Nor would I suggest that crying means sorrow nor that sorrow means crying.
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    IEI subtype

  4. #4
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    I can relate to not being able to identify what I'm feeling. It usually feels like I'm feeling a plethora of emotions and they all just kind of mesh into some sort of state that I'm not able to label. Like when you mix a bunch of different paint colours together and the end result is an undistinguishable murk. I also have a difficult time pinpointing what exactly is influencing my emotions which make them even more inexplicable. I'll notice that my mood has changed and feel a sort of surprise about it, wondering how it came about.
    That's a very good way of describing it. I'm like "what is this thing?" It's kind of funny that we can be so expressive but still have these problems

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    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    I can relate to not being able to identify what I'm feeling. It usually feels like I'm feeling a plethora of emotions and they all just kind of mesh into some sort of state that I'm not able to label. Like when you mix a bunch of different paint colours together and the end result is an undistinguishable murk. I also have a difficult time pinpointing what exactly is influencing my emotions which make them even more inexplicable. I'll notice that my mood has changed and feel a sort of surprise about it, wondering how it came about.
    Its because you are using your F and not your T that you feel many emotions but cant classify or identify them like a zoologist identifies animals in the savannah. And not knowing the cause is probably due to weak since that function is about causes and effetcs.

    Btw, I experience the same things you guys do, in terms of my emotions, I cant really idenify them it just seems like jungle inside. I guess thats cause idenifying things(including feelings) is related to logic.

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    Default Love it

    I love this topic, I think the way we feel may be related to different functions and different blocks. As we feel before we make clear sense to themselves. I would agree with Cheerio about but with a notion that these cause and effects will be of different quality than logical abstract thinking and will relate to .

    What we feel is probably -power of emotions and wat we need to make sense of it to relate it somehow to the beahvioural knowledge .
    What role may play in that -sort of ability to to have a conceptual knowledge, to associate, induct/deduct, compare and etc. -use of the human brain or ligh level rationality which animals do not have. Do animals have ?
    School of Associative socionics: http://socionics4you.com/

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    Default First thought

    My first thought when I have read what ishysquishy said about her emotions was that one related to "system" or Beta quadra. INFP's must be very careful not to produce anything that would disagree with authorised position - they need to fit into the system neatly.
    But I do see my thought is limited in this sense and it is probably related to Superego block -"Strict Parent" block as different types have similar reactions.
    School of Associative socionics: http://socionics4you.com/

  8. #8
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    Default Re: First thought

    Quote Originally Posted by Olga
    My first thought when I have read what ishysquishy said about her emotions was that one related to "system" or Beta quadra. INFP's must be very careful not to produce anything that would disagree with authorised position - they need to fit into the system neatly.
    But I do see my thought is limited in this sense and it is probably related to Superego block -"Strict Parent" block as different types have similar reactions.
    It's not that we comply to the authorised position, it's just that knowing the authorised position makes it easier to figure out what our real stance is. We have something to compare it to. If, for instance, the authorised stance is "repulsed", we can figure out whether or not we feel repulsed, and if we aren't repulsed then there is something we can rule out.

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    Another ENFp response:

    ...more or less what anndelise said, including the meltdown bit. What I find helpful and acceptable is this: if someone listens to me, and validates me by saying stuff like "well, anyone would feel frustrated/sad/angry in such a situation", and perhaps giving a few examples. THAT is OK.

    But in general, telling me how I ought to feel, that's a bit like criticizing how I do feel. It implies that my feelings haven't got any actual reason. "Your life is brilliant - you're just such a weak idiot that you can't feel joy right now. FEEL JOY!" *shudder*

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    Quote Originally Posted by schrödinger's cat
    But in general, telling me how I ought to feel, that's a bit like criticizing how I do feel. It implies that my feelings haven't got any actual reason. "Your life is brilliant - you're just such a weak idiot that you can't feel joy right now. FEEL JOY!" *shudder*
    *shudder*
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    Yeah. Good job us ENFps are peaceful inoffensive little tree-huggers. Otherwise those people would be eating through a straw right now. (See, I can't even make this sound sufficiently violent.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by schrödinger's cat
    Another ENFp response:

    ...more or less what anndelise said, including the meltdown bit. What I find helpful and acceptable is this: if someone listens to me, and validates me by saying stuff like "well, anyone would feel frustrated/sad/angry in such a situation", and perhaps giving a few examples. THAT is OK.

    But in general, telling me how I ought to feel, that's a bit like criticizing how I do feel. It implies that my feelings haven't got any actual reason. "Your life is brilliant - you're just such a weak idiot that you can't feel joy right now. FEEL JOY!" *shudder*
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