I just broke it off with a dual. We had some pretty good chemistry, but life got in the way. And so did our circumstances. And our personalities. Mostly it was our personalities.
Sure, she was kind, sensitive, selfless, gentle, and innocent. But it got boring after a while. To me, the biggest issue was her complacency.. at least, as contrasted with my tendency to constantly take in new experiences. Probably in large part due to her upbringing, she seemed afraid of the world. With some success, I sought to teach her that the world wasn't so bad. But still, she was just plain complacent. She didn't want to rock the boat under any circumstances, where I'm not really comfortable with comfortability.
She is the quietest person I have ever known, and she offered virtually no opinions of her own. Our conversations lacked substance; any abstract concepts were met with glazed-over eyes and maybe a nervous nod.
Worst of all, since we couldn't share in new life experiences and she didn't do a whole lot of talking, I couldn't get to know her. That bothered me, immensely.
The result of all of this? The dynamic of our relationship was as if we were stuck at the one-month mark.. for more than ten months. Love alone wasn't enough to keep us together. I catered to her lifestyle for the duration of our relationship while also trying to bring her out into the world, but it absolutely drained me. I didn't feel more psychologically complete; I felt absolutely exhausted.
I denied my own nature, and as a result.. as a friend of mine stated, the relationship was holding me back.
The thing is, despite seeing the value in just sitting back and relaxing at times, I want someone who's going to be able to go out there and share in life's experiences. I want a partner in crime. An equal. I don't want someone who's going to settle down in some zone of comfort and become some docile, subservient housewife. I want to be challenged, and I think my partner should have the right to challenge me.
I was a cat, and she was a dead mouse. Cuddly, soft, and appealing, but absolutely boring after a while.
So, who else has had to break it off with a dual? What exactly was it that drove you apart? Are we just insane for breaking relationships with our duals? How much are we supposed to endure for "inevitable" psychological fulfillment?