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Thread: ILE's and stress

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    Blaze's Avatar
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    Default ILE's and stress

    is it hard for entp's to handle stress? do we get bogged down in too many projects and become overwhelmed? do we expect others to help us with our stress? are we even aware that we're stressed?

    i'm thinking of some recent examples where i've got like 5 different problems whirling around in my mind: my ESI coworker, christmas, my dysfunctional family and how to handle them, my new hobby that no one else wants to do, my kids' father going off on a life changing course and how it affects them, my youngest one's school issue. so all this stuff is pressing in on me and i'm thinking if i can just figure out what to do about each one then i can relax.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    is it hard for entp's to handle stress? do we get bogged down in too many projects and become overwhelmed? do we expect others to help us with our stress? are we even aware that we're stressed?

    i'm thinking of some recent examples where i've got like 5 different problems whirling around in my mind: my ESI coworker, christmas, my dysfunctional family and how to handle them, my new hobby that no one else wants to do, my kids' father going off on a life changing course and how it affects them, my youngest one's school issue. so all this stuff is pressing in on me and i'm thinking if i can just figure out what to do about each one then i can relax.
    You need Si, my dear!!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    You need Si, my dear!!
    well, yeah. but i can't get any. so, i have to be content with what i can accomplish on my own. i don't even recognize when i'm stressed out till it's too late. argh

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    is it hard for entp's to handle stress? do we get bogged down in too many projects and become overwhelmed? do we expect others to help us with our stress? are we even aware that we're stressed?

    i'm thinking of some recent examples where i've got like 5 different problems whirling around in my mind: my ESI coworker, christmas, my dysfunctional family and how to handle them, my new hobby that no one else wants to do, my kids' father going off on a life changing course and how it affects them, my youngest one's school issue. so all this stuff is pressing in on me and i'm thinking if i can just figure out what to do about each one then i can relax.
    Take a deep breath and don't worry about it. It's not so complicated really. Most of it matters less than you think (tho I'd focus on the kids issue first). And it sounds like some me-time is in order. Do the whole hitting up a fave restaurant/relaxing in a warm scented candlelit bath deal. Hugz. It'll all work out.
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

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    <something> Wynch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    is it hard for entp's to handle stress? do we get bogged down in too many projects and become overwhelmed? do we expect others to help us with our stress? are we even aware that we're stressed?

    i'm thinking of some recent examples where i've got like 5 different problems whirling around in my mind: my ESI coworker, christmas, my dysfunctional family and how to handle them, my new hobby that no one else wants to do, my kids' father going off on a life changing course and how it affects them, my youngest one's school issue. so all this stuff is pressing in on me and i'm thinking if i can just figure out what to do about each one then i can relax.
    Ah ILE's. Always good at "what about this?" That's the problem with being excellent problem-solvers who are always looking for everything to fit together perfectly. Problem is, we can't except that things may actually be satisfactorily put together unless someone gives us a new pet project....
    ILE
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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    Ah ILE's. Always good at "what about this?" That's the problem with being excellent problem-solvers who are always looking for everything to fit together perfectly. Problem is, we can't except that things may actually be satisfactorily put together unless someone gives us a new pet project....
    i know! what's that about. i want it just so. if i just give it enough time, thought, and effort, it should work out. right now!! haha and you're right...the only good distraction is another project but then we have so many.....hence the vicious cycle of stress.

    i need to take my own advice: pare down and simplify.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    i know! what's that about. i want it just so. if i just give it enough time, thought, and effort, it should work out. right now!! haha and you're right...the only good distraction is another project but then we have so many.....hence the vicious cycle of stress.

    i need to take my own advice: pare down and simplify.
    It's interesting because I was talking to dolphin about duality for ENTps and ISFps. I was suggesting that ISFps are excellent at seeing what's important to bring a sense of well-being and contentment while ENTps are excellent at pinpointing the best way to solve that problem.

    I think you're right about the paring down and simplifying. Obvisouly we don't always have someone there to help us prioritize so we just have to accept that we need to tackle things one at a time. And hell, sometimes we just can't make something better, which seriously sucks. The ups and downs of ILE

    Are you E7? I imagine this problem will stick out a lot more to E7s who want to make their lives happy pretty lands.
    ILE
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    Very busy with work. Only kind of around.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mn0good View Post
    It's interesting because I was talking to dolphin about duality for ENTps and ISFps. I was suggesting that ISFps are excellent at seeing what's important to bring a sense of well-being and contentment while ENTps are excellent at pinpointing the best way to solve that problem.

    I think you're right about the paring down and simplifying. Obvisouly we don't always have someone there to help us prioritize so we just have to accept that we need to tackle things one at a time. And hell, sometimes we just can't make something better, which seriously sucks. The ups and downs of ILE

    Are you E7? I imagine this problem will stick out a lot more to E7s who want to make their lives happy pretty lands.
    i'm not an enneagram believer, but if i have to pick one, yes it would be E7. i totally relate to what you are saying about if we can't make it better it sucks so bad. lol it does put us on a roller coaster, because some things can't be made any better. some things suck and there's nothing you can do. do you believe in the enneagram? what's your number, man?

    the repercussions of too much stress are severe though, so it makes sense to at least try to recognize when i'm headed towards overload. this is a dual seeking thing, right? it's why i've often wondered how aware we are of our dual seeking needs. as in everyone, not just ILE.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    this is a dual seeking thing, right? it's why i've often wondered how aware we are of our dual seeking needs. as in everyone, not just ILE.
    I'm usually unaware of my dual-seeking needs until they get filled and then I'm like "Huh? wow, it was easy for that person to swoop in and help me out with that!". I find myself in situations where I feel like a baby, I hold back, unable to "just do it" or whatever but even when I recognize that it's dual-seeking, that doesn't change the fact that it's hard for me. I just don't produce Se very easily on my own. I've found that being around someone with Se in their ego does cause it to rub off on me for awhile but it doesn't last forever.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I'm usually unaware of my dual-seeking needs until they get filled and then I'm like "Huh? wow, it was easy for that person to swoop in and help me out with that!". I find myself in situations where I feel like a baby, I hold back, unable to "just do it" or whatever but even when I recognize that it's dual-seeking, that doesn't change the fact that it's hard for me. I just don't produce Se very easily on my own. I've found that being around someone with Se in their ego does cause it to rub off on me for awhile but it doesn't last forever.
    this is exactly the experience i repeatedly have with dual seeking. diana said awhile ago, that you can create the "trappings" of your dual seeking, but the real mcoy is not there. it all comes to a head with me relative to stress, having too many balls in the air, taking on too many things, then worrying about them. i get there again and again and it's like anybody can see that i'm over extended...except for me. until somebody slaps me in the face with it. ugh.

    but you know what? when things are too calm, i get BORED. but when things are too crazy, i get STRESSED. so what i seek is BALANCE. it's a life long theme. taking things too far or not far enough.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    For any given problem, it's pretty easy for us to see the multitude of ways that it can play out. It's just an issue of not getting overwhelmed by these possibilities, figuring out the few most realistic among them, and preparing for each of them.

    If you've got a lot going on at once, it might help to write down your thoughts on each.. starting with a description of the problem, the potential choices you have, the worst thing that can possibly happen with respect to that problem, the probable results of each choice.. and then your decision as to what to do about it.

    You'll probably find that "the worst thing that can possibly happen" isn't so bad in a lot of these instances.. so, just remember how adaptable you are to changing circumstances.
    IEE-Ne | ENFP | 4w3-6w7-9w1 so/sp/sx | sCoA|I| | Sanguine/Choleric | Benevolent Inventor

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    but you know what? when things are too calm, i get BORED. but when things are too crazy, i get STRESSED. so what i seek is BALANCE. it's a life long theme. taking things too far or not far enough.
    right! I get that. I see that especially with the other ILEs I know. None of them have SEI either and they do tend to get really excited about some stuff but then exhausted by everything they've taken on so they cut back until they get excited about something new. (Gosh, gotta love ILEs!!!!)

    SEIs are so perfect for you guys because they're just so calm and smiley about your cool ideas and projects and yet I'll bet they could give a mean backrub and pour a tall cool one at just the right moment. ahhhhhh....
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post
    Take a deep breath and don't worry about it. It's not so complicated really. Most of it matters less than you think (tho I'd focus on the kids issue first). And it sounds like some me-time is in order. Do the whole hitting up a fave restaurant/relaxing in a warm scented candlelit bath deal. Hugz. It'll all work out.
    i think i'm in love

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
    i think i'm in love
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
    Harvest will come
    Your heart will mend

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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post
    Take a deep breath and don't worry about it. It's not so complicated really. Most of it matters less than you think (tho I'd focus on the kids issue first). And it sounds like some me-time is in order. Do the whole hitting up a fave restaurant/relaxing in a warm scented candlelit bath deal. Hugz. It'll all work out.
    Oh wow, I had to log on just to tell you how awesome your avatar is. It made me literally laugh out loud. I applaud your excellent taste in images.
    Meh.

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    Blaze, you're not looking hard enough. You have everything you need to relax yourself, trust me.

    Though you may have to look deep inside yourself to find it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Serious Name View Post
    Oh wow, I had to log on just to tell you how awesome your avatar is. It made me literally laugh out loud. I applaud your excellent taste in images.
    Hi 5!
    Moonlight will fall
    Winter will end
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    Your heart will mend

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    No one can help prioritize and set goals better than a E3. Just look at my avatar.
    The saddest ESFj

    ...

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    Meh, when I get stressed I kind of just try to find some fortress of solitude where I can mull over my emo. Then I think about what is bothering me (opposite the apparent norm of keeping your mind off of it) until I think of a way to deal with it.

    After which, I realize I haven't eaten all day and head to the nearest outlet of delicious, delicious foods with one of two friends who I believe to be SEI (one cooks almost daily, a rare trait in college). Any other friend would be a gamble between just pissing me off, having no effect, or having a bit of fun. The SEIs just cheer me up somehow >.>
    Meh.

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