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Thread: The first time you experienced duality

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    Default The first time you experienced duality

    Rick writes that "People who had duals in their immediate family growing up are naturally quite a bit 'in tune' to their duals' wavelength, while those who did not may be profoundly affected by their first experience of duality." Which leads me to wonder: for those of you who have met and gotten to know your dual well, do you remember what it was like in the very beginning... and was it particularly profound experience for you?

    I think it would be especially interesting to know your thoughts on/experiences w duality if you got to know your dual pre-socionics knowledge... or if that's not possible to recall, but you know a dual now then maybe you could ask them for their input [if that's not too weird a question to ask them, that is].

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    Quote Originally Posted by SoapOfSapphire View Post
    Rick writes that "People who had duals in their immediate family growing up are naturally quite a bit 'in tune' to their duals' wavelength, while those who did not may be profoundly affected by their first experience of duality." Which leads me to wonder: for those of you who have met and gotten to know your dual well, do you remember what it was like in the very beginning... and was it particularly profound experience for you?

    I think it would be especially interesting to know your thoughts on/experiences w duality if you got to know your dual pre-socionics knowledge... or if that's not possible to recall, but you know a dual now then maybe you could ask them for their input [if that's not too weird a question to ask them, that is].
    Yes it was profound. See my descriptions in the IEI-SLE thread

    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...3-iei-sle.html

    The bad thing is, I have to move away before my dual and I have had a chance to fully dualize. . . and I am leaving with a heavy heart. However, this is how it's meant to be, so I accept it.

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    Define "profoundly affected".

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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon View Post
    Yes it was profound. See my descriptions in the IEI-SLE thread

    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...3-iei-sle.html

    The bad thing is, I have to move away before my dual and I have had a chance to fully dualize. . . and I am leaving with a heavy heart. However, this is how it's meant to be, so I accept it.
    Great thread - thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    Define "profoundly affected".
    It's up to each individual to define that, I think... if you think an experience is profound, it is.

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    But how do you make the difference between one type of profound affliction or another? You can have very "profound" experiences with your conflictor, too. What do you mean?

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    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    But how do you make the difference between one type of profound affliction or another? You can have very "profound" experiences with your conflictor, too. What do you mean?
    Hmm... I think I see what you're saying. How about if you describe your experience and comment on it, and maybe say in what ways it was [or was not] "profound" according to your own understanding of the word, which you could also define/describe. That would be interesting....

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    Uh, err... sorry but I am a lazy ass. I more or less attempted to describe what I "felt" during my "duality experience" (if it was that). Here, you be the judge. If you have any particular questions feel free to ask.

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    Yes, very profound. Mentally, I kind of feel like I have a core identity, where before I would've over-associated with all my different emotional and mental states and felt uncomfortably scattered and kind of like a non-person. I guess there's still traces of that in talking about different Guls, but they feel less disconnected now, like they're tied together by being "my" states, rather than discontiguous blobs.

    I'm currently trying to gain a research grant to put towards figuring out if duals cure cancer.

    EDIT

    My bad, this wasn't my first experience of being dualized, but it's a profound experience within duality that was like, "whoah". "Dualized" has been an overall slow process.

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    My dual is surprisingly hard to find, however they never cease to surprise.
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    Quote Originally Posted by munenori2 View Post
    Words are useless.
    True there is this certain "je ne sais quoi" that i can't quite fully articulate in words about experiencing duality.

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    The first time I experienced duality in a romantic relationship... It's true--words can't describe...

    I'd never felt so connected, or well-complemented in every way...

    As cliche as it sounds, I reorganized my entire life because of duality--that relationship/love became my top priority.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JuJu View Post
    The first time I experienced duality in a romantic relationship... It's true--words can't describe...
    How about AWESOME!!! ?

    I first experienced semi-duality and it was amazing to see things be that way...
    I then experienced the comfort of duality but in an accidental relationship where there wasn't too much sexual and intellectual attraction.

    With the passing of time I became more attuned to my duals... and interaction with them it is AWESOME in both, romantic and non-romantic form.
    "What is love?"
    "The total absence of fear," said the Master.
    "What is it we fear?"
    "Love," said the Master.

    I chose Love

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    hard to comment on this. my parents are duals...EII/LSE, so i was around duality and if anything this made me think marital relationships were not that hard. oh boy was i wrong. but, yeah, i had no dual in my immediate or extended family.

    i've been in love a bunch of times though, and being in love is great...i guess it would feel similar to duality.

    to my knowledge, i've never been in a dual relationship. my man's adult son is an SEI...i guess i feel pretty comfortable around him, but nothing really stands out about that.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by SoapOfSapphire View Post
    Rick writes that "People who had duals in their immediate family growing up are naturally quite a bit 'in tune' to their duals' wavelength, while those who did not may be profoundly affected by their first experience of duality." Which leads me to wonder: for those of you who have met and gotten to know your dual well, do you remember what it was like in the very beginning... and was it particularly profound experience for you?

    I think it would be especially interesting to know your thoughts on/experiences w duality if you got to know your dual pre-socionics knowledge... or if that's not possible to recall, but you know a dual now then maybe you could ask them for their input [if that's not too weird a question to ask them, that is].
    When I started to understand socionics and had some duality experience, I started to recall in my memories if I might ever before have met a dual. And... I did.

    I remembered at work there was a collegue who I was very good friends with, who happened to be an SEE (of the right subtype too). Which then I didn't know since I didn't know of types.

    Then the puzzle started to come together. Cause the girl was very ugly by objective standarts, but I was always somehow attracted to her. In her case and only her case, it didn't matter what she looked like, I really felt attracted. I always wondered why it was, and now I understood. Great moment... We also always had fun. Wow if I only knew then... Though she was married :-d

    I also remembered a time that I dated another girl, and the SEE said something to me like, 'you were going with that weird girl somewhere and I was thinking now I'm not there to protect you'. That's ofcourse also an odd thing to say, but in the light of duality it all fits... that is the strong bond you have without fully realizing it...

    But after knowing about socionics and meeting SEE's, the experience was more intense, because then you are realling concentrating on how the relationship feels, and you are more in awe then.

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    I had a male ESFj best friend in the last 2 years of elementary school. In the first 2 years of university (the first university that I attended) I have been in close association with another ESFj. I find that the duality relation takes a lot of work these days and rarely happens in a natural way. It's good to be aware that the possibility for such a relation exists, though, so one can make the required additional effort.

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    At the bottom of the board where it lists recently active topics or whatever, it abbreviates the title of this thread to "the first time you..." and this is the third or fourth time I've clicked on that link hoping for sex talk and found duality talk. *sigh* Oh, 16types.

    I've never experienced duality in a romantic relationship, but in general my SLE friend is one of the few people who can talk monologue-style for a fairly long time without boring me to death, so I don't have to step in and change the conversation, which is nice. One of the few people as interesting to listen to (almost) as myself. Also the whole mutually appreciative thing is nice. Also, it's fun to assist all Se-types at their Se-ing, and nice how they think I'm really smart without being silly about it.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    I wonder why some duals activate duality and others don't.

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    I thought I had experienced duality before, but it really was my Identical. I never romantically experienced duality in real life. Well I talked to Sean over the phone once, and we talked online for awhile but ehhh I don't know. It wasn't magical, probably cause I was expecting it, but I probably interacted with him the most 'romantically-ish' out of anybody here, so I guess there's something to that.

    I have a really good female friend that's a dual, although it isn't a romantic relationship. I still haven't seen her in real life though but on the phone we HELLA dualize.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    I wonder why some duals activate duality and others don't.
    I think there needs to be an existing connection for duality to "kick in".

    Also, I have a theory that being opposite genders helps too (among other things? Please if you have thoughts of your own, feel free to contribute): my favourite example of this is Bajo and Junglist (IEE and SLI), the two co-presenters of Good Game, seemingly never interacting with one another and only the audience; yet Bajo and Hex (SEE) having a much more clear and obvious connection, as if they're interacting with each other and the audience.

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    Yeah, opposite genders does help because of how we're all socially conditioned to avoid the same sex, I know a lot of people are probably going to argue that it just doesn't feel 'natural' or something for them to interact with the same gender often. But come on. It might be natural for you not to get turned on by another dude, but it isn't natural for you to simply avoid other males to the degree that you do, it's all just based on your socialization. It's also a lot of how western males are raised together, unfortunately- males in other countries show a lot more affection and nothing is 'gay' about it. But guys around here get too insecure about that haha.

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    Yeah, I lived with my dual till the age of 6.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xkj220 View Post
    I wonder why some duals activate duality and others don't.
    I think it has to do with the degree of psychological closeness involved. Some people don't want to be that close to others, especially others of the same gender, as BnD was saying (less of a problem for females than for males, presumably), which may be attributable to socialization more than anything else. Also, there's an element of interdependence that duality has, and many people don't want to depend on other people (or maybe that specific other person). I don't know. Overall it probably has to do with one person or the other feeling the "pull" of duality and resisting it (consciously or unconsciously) to some degree. Or maybe the two people feel like they can't be close based on some non-socionics difference (politics, religion, culture, class, race, etc.). That being said, I think it is far more common for duals to just not get close enough to dualize than for duals to get close and then back off or never initiate the "process" whatever it is.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    The first time you experienced duality....
    It was on a clear Sunday morning, when I woke up lying naked next to my sex doll and felt the warmth of the sun seeping through the blinds of my large bedroom window, gently caressing my soft skin and making my penis look like a shiny little cactus in the midst of the Sahara desert. Then I realized I was one with the sun.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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