Extroverts/Introverts: interaction, lengthy conversations

[jessica129]

This is something that has continuously puzzled me and I wanted to get some feedback from Extroverts on how they feel about this subject.

I have an aquaintence I see every now and then. No sexual feelings whatsoever, it's purely a friendship thing. We'll see each other in passing and what was supposed to be a 5 minute conversation will turn into a four hour conversation with him doing 95% of the talking. It's not a bad thing and normally I'd never willingly converse with someone for such an extended period of time without wanting to bash my head in, but it just clicks and I even welcome it. Now, here's my question...I don't really do much talking and perceive myself to be even slightly boring but when he leaves, he'll text me and say i'm the most fun person he's ever been around and how much he loves hanging out with me. I'm always taken back when he tells me these things because all I do is lend him an ear and he raves about me like I'm the most amazing person in the world. It's flattering but strange...is it really that hard to find someone who'll listen to you? It's not 'boring' for the extrovert to do all the talking?

I guess this could go into General Discussion but being as IEE's are my dual, I'd like to get their input on the subject.

[Creepy-male]

I like talking about things that fascinate me, and somehow, they're even more interesting when I talk about them. Plus, I think SLIs make good listeners, and you can say very interesting things when you want to talk.

EDIT

And I'm not sure if it's a type-related thing, but SLIs can also be silly in a way that's quite fun

[Simon Ssmall]

This is something that has continuously puzzled me and I wanted to get some feedback from Extroverts on how they feel about this subject.

I have an aquaintence I see every now and then. No sexual feelings whatsoever, it's purely a friendship thing. We'll see each other in passing and what was supposed to be a 5 minute conversation will turn into a four hour conversation with him doing 95% of the talking. It's not a bad thing and normally I'd never willingly converse with someone for such an extended period of time without wanting to bash my head in, but it just clicks and I even welcome it. Now, here's my question...I don't really do much talking and perceive myself to be even slightly boring but when he leaves, he'll text me and say i'm the most fun person he's ever been around and how much he loves hanging out with me. I'm always taken back when he tells me these things because all I do is lend him an ear and he raves about me like I'm the most amazing person in the world. It's flattering but strange...is it really that hard to find someone who'll listen to you? It's not 'boring' for the extrovert to do all the talking?

I guess this could go into General Discussion but being as IEE's are my dual, I'd like to get their input on the subject.

Trust me, people don't always have the patience to listen THAT much . Also, sometimes I just want to say certain things and if I speak with other extraverts they will try to drag the conversation towards things they are interested in or just simply towards talking about them. With introverts it is simply easier. And no, I do not think it is boring for the extrovert, I do not think extroverts even notice they do all the talking. If you would stare with a disintrest look, then that could offend, but as long as you genuinly listening it is cool for the extrovert. The fact you seem interested in whatever he says probably is even more flattering and cool.

[mikemex]

I'm very quiet, perhaps because I get the impression that very few people is actually interested in what I have to say, or even understand it...

Say, who's going to follow me on my rebuttal of the idea that the universe is "finite and curve", or that quantum theory is all crap....

I better stay quiet and leave it for myself.

[Azeroffs]

I consider myself generally on the quite side. However, given the right topic, I will drag on without even realizing that I'm doing so much of the talking. When someone else does most of the talking I feel odd because I feel like I have to come up with a way of responding, or my mind will wander and I'll feel bad for not hearing what they say.

Also, sometimes I just want to say certain things and if I speak with other extroverts they will try to drag the conversation towards things they are interested in or just simply towards talking about them.

I've noticed this with extroverts. Or we'll just start talking over each other. I find myself fighting for time to speak.

It's strange, because as I said I consider myself on the quiet side, but when I'm really comfortable I guess I do talk quite a bit. It's weird.. idk. We need introverts to stimulate conversation I guess.

[ArchonAlarion]

My level of social intorversion and extraversion is totally situational.

In public without friends around I am quite Ij-ish. Tense, contained, neutral, unexpressive etc.

Among my friends, when my friends are around when I'm in public, and generally whenever I feel any support, I am classically extraverted.

So my shield is Ij, but I'm naturally Ep.

@Mike: Ditto

[Azeroffs]

I think extroverted functions may represent content while introvert functions represent context. Extroverts tend towards having more content on limited contexts while introverts focus on contexts and have limited content.

[ArchonAlarion]

Yeah.

That's the whole object-field dealio, dude.

[Azeroffs]

I realize this, but I never thought about it in terms of speech as much as thought.

In terms of speech, I just thought of it all as content.

[thePirate]

This is something that has continuously puzzled me and I wanted to get some feedback from Extroverts on how they feel about this subject.

I have an aquaintence I see every now and then. No sexual feelings whatsoever, it's purely a friendship thing. We'll see each other in passing and what was supposed to be a 5 minute conversation will turn into a four hour conversation with him doing 95% of the talking. It's not a bad thing and normally I'd never willingly converse with someone for such an extended period of time without wanting to bash my head in, but it just clicks and I even welcome it. Now, here's my question...I don't really do much talking and perceive myself to be even slightly boring but when he leaves, he'll text me and say i'm the most fun person he's ever been around and how much he loves hanging out with me. I'm always taken back when he tells me these things because all I do is lend him an ear and he raves about me like I'm the most amazing person in the world. It's flattering but strange...is it really that hard to find someone who'll listen to you? It's not 'boring' for the extrovert to do all the talking?

I guess this could go into General Discussion but being as IEE's are my dual, I'd like to get their input on the subject.

awww, are you seeking Fi?

[DirectorAbbie]

Extroverted feelers can pretty much talk nonstop and enjoy it. I like talking to a good listener, but I'd prefer to do 65% of the talking as opposed to 95%.

[Topaz]

The guy sounds Iee if he can talk that much. Communication is more than just talking though. Its body language and also what is not said as well. I love talking to someone who can follow my unusual thought patterns (or pretend to). I find that most of the time I have to tailor what I say to fit the other persons frame of reference. Otherwise they become confused or even frightened. I try not to talk about things the other person cant relate to but some people seem to be able to absorb it all and that is thrilling.

[Park]

Topaz!!! You're back!

[jewels]

First, that's really cool you don't mind the 4-hour conversation. I'm very picky about who I talk to for that long as bad conversations are horrid. There is noooo way I'd talk that long to someone I didn't really like.

Yes, it is that hard to find someone who actually wants to listen to you, as IEEs don't enjoy forcing our random conversations on people who aren't interested in hearing it. And it's never boring for extroverts to talk (especially about themselves). We are amazed that introverts are able to listen for that long w/o getting bored.

Also don't assume that just because you feel platonic for him that he feels the same...that is a pretty complimentary text, and could be just as friends, but I kinda doubt it. If it is just as friends though, still a pretty amazing compliment.

[eddikens]

I'm an IEE and there's no way I could yak it up for four hours unless
I was extremely interested in the other person. My SLI friend shows
little bursts of animation and/or interest which tend to keep me on
a roll. She doesn't say much, but I always feel that we've had
a facinating conversation, lol.

I think the poor lad is smitten with you, Jessica.

[jessica129]

No, really...it's not like that at all. He's 7 years younger than I, He feels like a little brother to me. This is one of those rare ocassions where it's honestly just a friend.

[tiny_dancer]

He's 7 years younger than I

Whatever. That means he's just fantasizing about the older woman. j/k

[Wrong Way Ticket]

Whatever. That means he's just fantasizing about the older woman. j/k

IEEs love older women!

[Park]

Whatever. That means he's just fantasizing about the older woman. j/k

LOL!

[mikemex]

No, really...it's not like that at all. He's 7 years younger than I, He feels like a little brother to me. This is one of those rare ocassions where it's honestly just a friend.

No, no... you don't understand. IEE's are really into older women. Dress yourself appropriately the next time you see him... and tell us how it felt ;-)

[tiny_dancer]

Actually, I'm doing some mental math... aren't you roundabouts 26-27, jessica? ... Yeah, that settles it, he's definitely thinking about the older woman...

Parkster's just laughing 'cause he knows it's true. Perv.

[thePirate]

No, no... you don't understand. IEE's are really into older women. Dress yourself appropriately the next time you see him... and tell us how it felt ;-)

Co-sign, older women <3

maturity is yummy

[jessica129]

haha, this guy isn't even IEE though. Not that it'd make much of a difference, i'm just saying. Yeah tinydancer, I'm turning 26 on the 28th of this month. But yeah, I'm in a sea of young men here. When do I officially hit the 'cougar' status? lol.

[Park]

Parkster's just laughing 'cause he knows it's true. Perv.

<3

[Wynch]

haha, this guy isn't even IEE though. Not that it'd make much of a difference, i'm just saying. Yeah tinydancer, I'm turning 26 on the 28th of this month. But yeah, I'm in a sea of young men here. When do I officially hit the 'cougar' status? lol.

35 or 40. You're nowhere near cougar

[xerx]

IEEs love older women!

Seconded. I'm an an infantile who loves maternal looking women that can take care of me.

[Park]

Seconded. I'm an an infantile who loves maternal looking women that can take care of me.

[xerx]

Amount of mammary gland secretions is more heavily dependent on demand than actual breast size. Bigger breasts generally do take up more slack, though. Regardless, she looks loaded with estradiol.

[Creepy-male]

God, gross.

Not gross:



Middle ground:

[Absurd]

I'm very quiet, perhaps because I get the impression that very few people is actually interested in what I have to say, or even understand it...

Say, who's going to follow me on my rebuttal of the idea that the universe is "finite and curve", or that quantum theory is all crap....

I better stay quiet and leave it for myself.

Very well said.

[Wrong Way Ticket]

Introverts hardly get up and out of the house or have limited things they like to do on a daily basis usually don't excersize regularly either UNLESS they are with an activator or an E. But then an E comes along and says let's do this or let's do that then an I finds him/herself being "pulled out" (mentally to do that paticular activity). Now in the case of LSE or ESE, they have periods of wanting to be social and anti-social; this behavior is not tied to introvert and extravert; it is totally different.

You are so full of fail it boggles the mind.

[Creepy-male]

You are so full of fail it boggles the mind.

Seriously? Why do you say that? That post seems kind of spot-on.

[Wrong Way Ticket]

Introverts hardly get up and out of the house or have limited things they like to do on a daily basis usually don't excersize regularly

I don't agree with this.

[Creepy-male]

Well, I have a pretty repetitive lifestyle that's kind of dependent on people dragging me out to do things, and I know an ESE on the forums (MaliaFee) reported sometimes wanting to shut in and just chill with her SO (this sounds a lot like EJs needing a crash break). Check and check.

I don't think it's universally applicable though.

[thePirate]

wow

I know plenty of introverts and thats a shit ass description. Diana provided a good example, if someone is in a 'phase' of their life, for example, maritsas stupid theory doesn't account for that; it just lumps them in a category. Her methods seem to be to just follow stereotypes. I'm now convinced she's using MBTI criteria to type, I still have yet to see what any of her posts really have to do with socionics. Gulanzon is just as lost in terms of theory; his self type still fills me with anger.

I dont know how anyone who takes or knows socionics seriously could agree with her.

[Morcheeba]

Introverts hardly get up and out of the house or have limited things they like to do on a daily basis usually don't excersize regularly either UNLESS they are with an activator or an E. But then an E comes along and says let's do this or let's do that then an I finds him/herself being "pulled out" (mentally to do that paticular activity). Now in the case of LSE or ESE, they have periods of wanting to be social and anti-social; this behavior is not tied to introvert and extravert; it is totally different.

I disagree with this observation as well. I know plenty of extroverts that can lounge around the house and have no ambition to get out and do something. What's with all these stereotypes? People of any type might want to be homebodies; their are so many other factors to consider. For me, I hate going out where I live because their isn't much offered around here unless you are really into sports and drinking beer. For that reason, I tend to stay at home and do research on things I appreciate. Just because you are an extrovert doesn't mean you're running around town trying to meet new people any chance you can get.

[thePirate]

I disagree with this observation as well. I know plenty of extroverts that can lounge around the house and have no ambition to get out and do something. What's with all these stereotypes? People of any type might want to be homebodies; their are so many other factors to consider. For me, I hate going out where I live because their isn't much offered around here unless you are really into sports and drinking beer. For that reason, I tend to stay at home and do research on things I appreciate. Just because you are an extrovert doesn't mean you're running around town trying to meet new people any chance you can get.

Yup, I agree. I know a decent amount of extroverts like that too and introverts that serve as a counter example to her claims.

Maritsa, where the did I talk about depression? depression is obv not type related; and if you're talking about my phases in life comment, there are more fuckin phases than just depression.

[Morcheeba]

Introverts do something or reflect for long, long, long time even when they are watching TV, even when they are with friends. They can seem like they are physically present but not mentally.

What you are describing here is more related to rather than introversion/extroversion.

[thePirate]

Extraverts do something or sleep.

ban her

[Morcheeba]

ban her

I could agree with this as well. And the "istp's get songs stuck in their heads" comment is silly. I have a song stuck in my head, am I an SLI? Maybe I should start a thread about it lol.