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Thread: INTj + SpeedDating = ???

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    Default INTj + SpeedDating = ???

    Just wondering on the experiences of INTj's and SpeedDating. I'll start by saying it's a good way to practice psychoanalysis, i mean, erm... structured conversations skills and to be the only person (with a poker face, of course) to ask profoundly strange questions like: Do you believe in aliens? What's your Socionics Type, i mean, erm... What music do you like?
    Remember to keep things simple and not any simpler like Einstein once said.

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    lol sounds like too much effort for INTjs IMO
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    I've considered speeddating but in my case it takes some times and some effort to trust someone. I like to see in people what they really are. I don't think the rush of speeddating with its lot of conventionnal questions, the poker face and everything else would be a good choice for me as INTj.

    I don't think speeddating is a way to have structured conversations. For me, it's just an interview like for a job. The idea of being interviewed to try to date someone like if I was trying to get a position in a company somehow disturbs me. I probably learn more about someone with a good conversation on few topics than on a series of questions one may probably ask to every "applicants". . Definitely not my style.

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    I wouldn't do it, but if I did, I know who I'd pick... the friggin oddest one in the bunch. <3 interesting people
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    I think speed dating would give me an anxiety attack. I get nervous enough going on one date.
    Polly
    ENTP

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    I hate dating ...

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    The Alpha quadra is just a bunch of asexuals!
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I hate dating too. It's full of too many pointless rituals and traditions and whatnot. I'm either with someone or I'm not. If I want to get to know someone to know if I want to be with that person, hanging out and talking is all it takes. Let the *normal* people date the traditional ways. I'm not interested in any of them anyways.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    I concur, dating is a concept for Rational (j) types perhaps due to a tendency for preferring to know what comes next in relationships versus Irrational (p) types who can be more adaptive to change.
    Remember to keep things simple and not any simpler like Einstein once said.

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    Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I think dating for the most part is a chumpy out-of-the-way way to try to impress someone of the opposite sex and for the most part is a waste of time otherwise.

    But then again, if a girl is not following me around and going out of her way to get near me, I am not interested. Unless I really really like a girl and she is not another one of those whorish bitches I keep finding, which has only happened once or twice so far.

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    Mcnew, you're so INTj.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by gilligan87
    Mcnew, you're so INTj.
    Maybe ... I am not sure that was the entire point, but I do value loyalty and finding people who are naive enough to make crappy commitments and then conplain about what they have done or fail to keep them at all good or bad is just something I do not tolerate at all about other people ...

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    I'm definately not a big fan of dating. One way to scare me away quick is to ask me out on a date! Want to go forward, just be my friend. If I'm interested I'll eventually let you know and we'll go from there.

    I have never "chased" a guy in my life and would rather be single the rest of my life than yet another bad relationship.

    I find people want to take things too fast or too slow. It seems hard to meet someone who goes at my speed.

    The whole "dating" thing confuses me too. Some people think if you go out on a date or two than you are actually in some kind of committed relationshp. I would be uncomfortable too if someone I was "dating" was dating other people too.

    So for the most part I just tell people lets just be friends and do the coffee thing to get to know each other better. No strings attached.

    Apparently my tactics aren't working though because I'm still single.
    Polly
    ENTP

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    I'm definately not a big fan of dating. One way to scare me away quick is to ask me out on a date! Want to go forward, just be my friend. If I'm interested I'll eventually let you know and we'll go from there.
    Exactly.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

    Check out my Socionics group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1546362349012193/

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    Quote Originally Posted by Polly_G
    I'm definately not a big fan of dating. One way to scare me away quick is to ask me out on a date! Want to go forward, just be my friend. If I'm interested I'll eventually let you know and we'll go from there.

    I have never "chased" a guy in my life and would rather be single the rest of my life than yet another bad relationship.

    I find people want to take things too fast or too slow. It seems hard to meet someone who goes at my speed.

    The whole "dating" thing confuses me too. Some people think if you go out on a date or two than you are actually in some kind of committed relationshp. I would be uncomfortable too if someone I was "dating" was dating other people too.

    So for the most part I just tell people lets just be friends and do the coffee thing to get to know each other better. No strings attached.

    Apparently my tactics aren't working though because I'm still single.
    Even for guys who go the same pace as you and like going the friendship route, if you do not show atleast a little interest in them sexually they will think you are not into them and move on.

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    What exactly is dating anyways?

    Polly, what do you mean it scares you if someone comes up an asks you out on a date? Do they actually say, "do you want to go on a date?" Or is it like, do you want to get dinner? Or do you want to get together Sat. night?

    At what point does a dating relationship become a "relationship".

    I guess I usually don't go out with a girl unless I plan on going out a few more times. (the key word was plan)

    Isn't there an unwritten manuall laying around somewhere? Who can break it down?
    INTj
    "... the present is too much for the senses, too crowding, too confusing, too present to imagine" - RF

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    Even for guys who go the same pace as you and like going the friendship route, if you do not show atleast a little interest in them sexually they will think you are not into them and move on.
    I agree with that but as I am unable most of the time to see when a woman is interested in me, I am quite unresponsive for any signs she may make so she finally moves on. Sometimes it's good to have some friends because they are more able to see and tell me what I don't see

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    if your healthy your dual will notice you
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    I'm definately not a big fan of dating. One way to scare me away quick is to ask me out on a date! Want to go forward, just be my friend. If I'm interested I'll eventually let you know and we'll go from there.
    Exactly.
    I agree too. Rather date a friend then a stranger. I don't feel comfterable/not like it, though if a guy flirts with me .
    ISFP, SEI

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    It's one big paradox of course. I'm gonna make reference to the film Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines...

    Near the end of the film the Terminator says to Connor, she's (Brewster) a healthy female of breeding age, she's gonna be your second in command blah blah. He and she are in denial but at the end of day it's kind of like, fcuk it, we got to start over with the human race - i guess we better settle for each other.

    If we just get primitive about things, shouldn't finding your partner be about creating love rather then this idea of "falling in love". If you can fall in love with one person, surely you can fall out of love or even fall in love with another at the same time hence polygamy, monogamy and the "single life".

    Find yourself a partner and everything else in life is what you make it i guess.
    Remember to keep things simple and not any simpler like Einstein once said.

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    6w5 sx
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    I'm gonna make reference to the film Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines...
    Yeahhhhh, there's always something to learn from pop-corn movies

    If you can fall in love with one person, surely you can fall out of love or even fall in love with another at the same time hence polygamy
    Some say there's the "lover of your life" (not sure of the exact term, english is not my native language) in every town. I am always amazed when watching garbages at TV such as Big Brother-like shows how everytime when people are stuck in a place, one couple suddenly appears. I don't know if the cast was made to have this kind of things to happen but it's funny. On the other way, I've also experienced the same thing one time in my life when I had to live in a marine station with some other guys for months. I fell in love with someone I wouldn't probably have noticed outside of this place.

    Well... put an INTj in a big closed box with some other people and no internet connection, shake well and maybe...

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    With Socionics theory, it brings new meaning to the cliche "plenty more fish in the sea". Now we know who are the goldfish, the trouts, the cods, the plaices, the salmons etc etc.

    I've thought hard and deep about Duality and come to a simple conclusion, it may be the ideal relationship for say long-term but it can also be boring in a world of ever changing stimuli. Sounds like i need a good old spontaneously adapting ISFp in a relation of activity to keep me excited about life - at least at the weekends.
    Remember to keep things simple and not any simpler like Einstein once said.

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    Quote Originally Posted by snowyc

    I've thought hard and deep about Duality and come to a simple conclusion, it may be the ideal relationship for say long-term but it can also be boring in a world of ever changing stimuli. Sounds like i need a good old spontaneously adapting ISFp in a relation of activity to keep me excited about life - at least at the weekends.
    yeah good choice.
    ISFP, SEI

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    I've thought hard and deep about Duality and come to a simple conclusion, it may be the ideal relationship for say long-term but it can also be boring in a world of ever changing stimuli.
    Every couple has its high and low. You simply can't get the highs without the lows. Duality is probably for the "average" INTj the package with the least lows considering what you get in highs. But obviously life is not the same for everyone and this package may probably not suit all INTjs.

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    my one experience of speed dating went very well. i have been developing my "people skills" for a while, and the speed dating thing gave me a bit of a boost of confidence as every interaction went well. i met at least 15 new women. i did attempt to type, but not during the conversation. i think conversation is a skill in itself, and simply using the N or even the T to keep the conversation rolling helped greatly. if intj's want to be successful at something, they can. they just have to see the value in it to begin with. and dating is just having fun while trying to find someone. the difference is that the people who post on this site have an idea of what they are looking for, so less time is wasted. and if anyone doubts socionics and the value in finding their dual needs to become emotionally involved with the non-duals of the world, as any doubts can only arise from inexperience. it sucks. it will suck the life out of you. especially those ESFp's. and ESTp's...
    LII
    that is what i was getting at. if there is an inescapable appropriation that is required in the act of understanding, this brings into question the validity of socionics in describing what is real, and hence stubborn contradictions that continue to plague me.

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