Being obsessively worried about getting sick

[Slacker]

I have this friend. She gets really worried that she or her kids could get sick. She homeschools largely because she doesn't want her kids to catch germs from other people.

Anyway, here's my story. My older daughter had the H1N1 virus, as did half the kids in her school, a few weeks ago. Around the same time, my baby got sick. They've been better for a while.

We planned to get together this Saturday and go to a children's museum in a nearby city. We planned it ages ago. She called worried that maybe we should cancel it because my kids have been sick. I said, "Huh? My kids haven't been sick." I was confused what she was talking about. And she said she was talking about the H1N1 virus, and I said that was AGES ago. I said that my kids are less likely to have the H1N1 virus at this point than her kids, because mine have had it and gotten over it. But she seemed unsure. Maybe my kids were still contagious, two weeks after recovery?

This happened once before. My daughter was sick, and she got better, and then the friend canceled something we were going to do in case my daughter was still sick. WHICH SHE WASN'T !!! So we went on our own, because I didn't think my daughter should have to have her plans ruined over this, and saw them there. My friend was offended that I would bring my daughter out (Chuck E. Cheese that time - germ heaven) after she'd canceled with me. It's like my daughter has to stay in the house within like 3 months of any illness. And as if she's the authority as to whether we leave the house or go to Chuck E. Cheese.

ARGH. So now if we go out, and if her kids get sick, she will assume they caught it from my kids. This is so annoying I'm thinking of canceling going to the museum because she's just going to annoy me.

I am not sure of her type. I'm wondering if this would indicate anything. It probably only means she's stupid.

[redbaron]

you changed your username again!!! gah!

Um, I think being obsessively worried about anything is Ne-creative. INXj.

yeah, that's reeeeeally annoying. I'm so laid back about stuff like that. My kids haven't had any shots this season and I'm not planning on it unless we find ourselves at the docs for some other reason and they offer.

[Slacker]

Re the username, I was afraid it would cause confusion between me and Kamajama. And I'm in a bad mood today, so I have the (probably Beta) song Mariella in my head. So maybe people will think I'm Beta because I'm named after a Beta song.

Re the friend, my thought has been that she's EII, which fits with what you said, but stuff like this makes me wonder. I mean, it annoys me SO MUCH and it seems like mirrors should get along all the time. Though we do get along almost all the time. It's just this one issue that bugs me. Oh, and one other thing. If we're out somewhere we sometimes end up paying for something for the other one or one of each other's kids. Like I might grab some water for one of her kids for $1.25 or something. Anyway, to me this stuff balances out and there's no point accounting for money in such small amounts. But she is really careful with this - keeping track of whether she owes me a dollar. Which makes me worry that she'll get upset if I forget that she paid 45 cents toll and I didn't contribute anything, or something like that.

[redbaron]

yeah I hate keeping track. IMO, that's a rational vs. irrational thing. I mean, I think rationals have a stronger tendency (depending also on their background and financial situation) to keep accounts. Even if it's not about money--might be about favors too. My husband is this way and it makes me crazy sometimes. Like he'll think that if I let him go out with the guys, that means he "owes" me some night out with the girls. That's just not how I operate.

[jewels]

I'm pretty worried about getting sick myself. Actually, me and another ENFp got really mad at an ENFj who showed up to a party, hugged all of us, and then said she had the flu. An ESFj got furious at her (more angry than we were, or at least more vocal about it) and started to say she shouldn't go out when not well. Thing is, in the winter getting really sick can cost you a week or two of work. So I do make a point to not go out when not well.

As for this situation, 2 weeks was probably enough time to be well. But truthfully, if someone had West Nile or Swine Flu or something and said they were better, I'm not sure I'd go. I might wait a really long time also. In that situation, knowing she'd be at chuck e. cheese and afraid of my imaginary germs, I'd probably just take the kids somewhere else for the night to avoid her freaking out.

I think Deltas are somewhat obsessed w/ health. I'm less-so than INFjs, but being my mirror, we share some things in common. I think Betas would be the least concerned (unless they had actually caught something and then watch out for their wrath).

I also don't really like paying for other people's things and would prefer to keep it all separate unless it's a significant other, as it usually ends up w/ one person or the other being annoyed. I don't like someone counting every penny and also don't like if they assume I'll pay for them -- I had an INTj friend who would often get me to pay for cabs and things, or get other friends to, and wouldn't reciprocate -- very annoying as that gets expensive fast! So either way, I like the separate thing.

[FDG]

I am the opposite of this. I don't care enough about getting sick. I don't even think about telling other people that it's "their fault" that I caught a cold...it's the virus fault, lo.

[Slacker]

I'm pretty worried about getting sick myself. Actually, me and another ENFp got really mad at an ENFj who showed up to a party, hugged all of us, and then said she had the flu. An ESFj got furious at her (more angry than we were, or at least more vocal about it) and started to say she shouldn't go out when not well. Thing is, in the winter getting really sick can cost you a week or two of work. So I do make a point to not go out when not well.

I agree with that. If you are actually sick, you shouldn't be going out to parties to get everyone else sick.

As for this situation, 2 weeks was probably enough time to be well. But truthfully, if someone had West Nile or Swine Flu or something and said they were better, I'm not sure I'd go. I might wait a really long time also. In that situation, knowing she'd be at chuck e. cheese and afraid of my imaginary germs, I'd probably just take the kids somewhere else for the night to avoid her freaking out.

Two weeks is PROBABLY enough? If my daughter hasn't had a fever or cough for two weeks, she's just plain well. And at any time, if my daughter isn't sick and isn't contagious, no matter how long she hasn't been sick or contagious, there's no reason she should have to be disappointed and miss out on something she'd been looking forward to because someone else has unreasonable expectations.

I think Deltas are somewhat obsessed w/ health. I'm less-so than INFjs, but being my mirror, we share some things in common. I think Betas would be the least concerned (unless they had actually caught something and then watch out for their wrath).

I am not obsessed with health and I'm Delta. Maybe it's because I'm married to my dual and I've had that weakness balanced for so long. I don't know.

I also don't really like paying for other people's things and would prefer to keep it all separate unless it's a significant other, as it usually ends up w/ one person or the other being annoyed. I don't like someone counting every penny and also don't like if they assume I'll pay for them -- I had an INTj friend who would often get me to pay for cabs and things, or get other friends to, and wouldn't reciprocate -- very annoying as that gets expensive fast! So either way, I like the separate thing.

If it's over a dollar or two I do keep track. But to keep track of every 50 cents just drives me crazy.

[ScarlettLux]

ME! OMG... I'm the worst, anyone can attest to that (especially my boyfriend and parents)... I KNOW I'm being paranoid deep down, but I just can't help it. I GUARANTEE you that you have never and will never meet anyone as psycho and neurotic than me about my health. I'm taking Tamiflu right now just to PREVENT H1N1/flu again b/c of contact with some girls in my sorority that have it! One of them has it AGAIN... crazy, eh? Apparently you can get the swine 4 times in one season, same strain and all (provided you don't heal properly/fully?) I dunno the validity of that statement but eh... better safe than sorry, is what I always say.

[Brilliand]

Apparently you can get the swine 4 times in one season, same strain and all (provided you don't heal properly/fully?) I dunno the validity of that statement but eh... better safe than sorry, is what I always say.

Maybe we need to do a Smallpox Genocide on swine flu?

[Lobo]

Maybe one of her kids has some kind of low immune system condition, but other than that, it does seem paranoid. However, I do think it's possible to pass on a disease to other people after your symptoms have subsided, especially when you cough, since I've heard that the disease cells can travel that way. I'm not paranoid when it comes to sickness, though I used to when I was younger. You could always research on this online or something.

About keeping tabs, there's this popular saying in spanish that loosely translates as "clear accounts maintain friendships." If I owe someone even a dollar, I will try to pay them back asap to have things balanced, but that doesn't mean that I will get pissed if I don't get paid back some time... I don't like being in a situation where people forget, and then start asking favors like "I payed you this a long time ago, you owe me" or something along those lines. Or, I want to avoid being stupid when I clearly am the one owing the other person at some point.

[Slacker]

You're the most contagious before you know you're sick, and just after your symptoms show up. When you have fought off the illness, you are better. The problem is that people sometimes think they're better when they're still on the tail end of being sick. But you are certainly not still contagious two weeks after you've gotten better.

None of her kids have immunity problems, though even if they did, a child who was sick two weeks ago couldn't hurt them.

[tiny_dancer]

That would drive me nuts. Especially if she brings her kid to Chuck E. Cheese, yet is afraid your daughter will get her kid sick. hahahahahahaha That place is so disgusting. Didn't some news organization do an expose about how many germs were in that place?