On shyness

[Creepy-]

Do you consider yourself shy? And do you like or dislike shyness in others? Why?

[Creepy-male]

I tend to be quite reserved until I feel comfortable with the people involved. I tend to open up straight away if someone else initiates.

I think shyness is cute, but I see lots of "negative" traits to be really endearing because they say "look after me!" and I'm creepy and caregivery like that. If someone is being a grouch and sort of switching on and off, that can be frustrating, however.

[jessica129]

I used to be really shy but now I don't care at all. I don't really find it attractive...maybe to a certain extent but if you can't connect with the person because of it, I don't find it attractive.

[redbaron]

I used to be extremely shy. When I was in college it probably came across as being stuck-up, like I was too cool for everyone else.

I'm not like that anymore. I'm more balanced--I try to say hello even to strangers and use Fe consciously to make people feel more at ease. I don't mind shyness in others and I sometimes do find it cute. But it IS harder to interact with extremely shy people. I don't often make the effort unless there's something that makes me think it'll be worth it. I have a good friend who's SEI and we really hit it off even though we're both on the shy side.

I didn't vote cause I wasn't sure which one to choose.

[tereg]

My dad calls me a "shy extravert"


I guess I'm just an enigma wrapped in a riddle shrouded in a mystery, because I don't really know.

[silverchris9]

I don't like to think of myself as "shy," per se. I'm just "emotionally conservative."

Seriously, I tend to be very reserved and uncertain in my self-expression until I find either one group or an amalgam of multiple groups of people with whom I have a firm enough friendship to be myself more freely. Once I've established that, then I become much more sociable in general. Having a few close or close-ish friends make me feel free to make a lot of friends, some of whom eventually become close. I just feel really unsteady until I have a group of people I know I can count on, not to provide me with anything, but just to ensure that I'm not lonely/bored out of my mind. Once that's settled I feel much more free both for solitude and for emotional expressiveness/friendliness.

As far as shyness is concerned, sometimes it can be endearing, especially when I get to play the extrovert in a group of introverts (but I would never want to do this for too long), but in general I'm indifferent to it. I know that most shy people aren't really indifferent to people or anything silly like that, just shy. And I make friends more easily with introverts because I can't really keep up with extroverts or something. But it's not by any means a trait that influences how much I like or dislike a given person. That being said, it's nice if someone takes an active social interest in me, I suppose.

[Creepy-Diana]

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[sigma]

Do you consider yourself shy? And do you like or dislike shyness in others? Why?

I am shy but I'm using a different definition. I have social anxiety.
This is something treatable. Using a combination of multiple techniques like: "Exposure practice", "Relaxation", "Modified thinking (CBT)", "Attention practice", I can get better at handling the anxiety.

I will always be an introvert, nothing will change that BUT I can learn to be an introvert that handles better his moments of extroversion. An IEI that lets his Fe shine brighter.

As for like/dislike.... There is nothing to be liked or disliked about shyness. I see it as condition that can be improved.

[FDG]

I'm really not shy. Sometimes I've *felt* shy but that's totally not how it appears from the outside, from what I've gathered. Rather the opposite.

[1981slater]

There is a motto in Spain:

Shyness is the worst sin

[FDG]

There is a motto in Spain:

Shyness is the worst sin

How's it in spanish...timidéza es el pejòr pecado or smth like that?

[1981slater]

La timidez es el peor pecado

[sema sahin]

Yes, I definitely consider myself to be shy...I generally think shyness is a rather nice trait to have up until a point, of course...It's can be quite endearing, really.

[Slacker]

I can be shy but I'm generally not. I forgot to also mark that I find it to be an endearing trait in others.

[Trevor]

Yeah..blah blah blah..argh argh argh..many find shyness in others endearing/cute/some other positive thing because, look, others are shy, I am not, I am superior to them..wow, bow to me, look at my muscles, kiss me, here have some fear of me..or because, look, they're shy too, I'm not the only one who's loser here...blaaaaaaaaadlerrrgh

[jewels]

I was extremely shy until high school (mute may be a more accurate description), when I had to decide to no longer be shy, which was ridiculously hard to do at first.

I am pretty outgoing now, and sometimes say tooo much. Though in some situations that are socially awkward, I will be quiet as I'm thinking "what the hell is going on" in my mind.

Most of the time I'm really not too shy now, though I'm not always talkative, I'm always open and engage others.

[Marie84]

Definitely timid. As a child, and well into my teens, I was clinically shy, but I've learned to be able to function a lot better as I get older. A lot of that probably has to do with feeling more comfortable and accepting with myself, but I know I'll always be timid and quiet, it's just my nature

I forgot to also mark that I find it to be an endearing trait in others.

:redface:

[CheGuevara]

Very shy. 25 years old and virgin. Shyness sux. After I had read this description I knew what was wrong with me .