View Poll Results: On shyness....

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  • I consider myself quite shy in general.

    15 40.54%
  • I can be shy at times, but I would not typically use the word "shy" to describe my self.

    20 54.05%
  • I am rarely shy.

    2 5.41%
  • I find shyness in others endearing/cute/some other positive thing.

    16 43.24%
  • I find shyness in others frustrating/offputting/some other negative thing.

    0 0%
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Thread: On shyness

  1. #1
    Creepy-

    Default On shyness

    Do you consider yourself shy? And do you like or dislike shyness in others? Why?

  2. #2
    Creepy-male

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    I tend to be quite reserved until I feel comfortable with the people involved. I tend to open up straight away if someone else initiates.

    I think shyness is cute, but I see lots of "negative" traits to be really endearing because they say "look after me!" and I'm creepy and caregivery like that. If someone is being a grouch and sort of switching on and off, that can be frustrating, however.

  3. #3
    jessica129's Avatar
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    I used to be really shy but now I don't care at all. I don't really find it attractive...maybe to a certain extent but if you can't connect with the person because of it, I don't find it attractive.

  4. #4
    Creepy-Diana

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    .

  5. #5
    redbaron's Avatar
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    I used to be extremely shy. When I was in college it probably came across as being stuck-up, like I was too cool for everyone else.

    I'm not like that anymore. I'm more balanced--I try to say hello even to strangers and use Fe consciously to make people feel more at ease. I don't mind shyness in others and I sometimes do find it cute. But it IS harder to interact with extremely shy people. I don't often make the effort unless there's something that makes me think it'll be worth it. I have a good friend who's SEI and we really hit it off even though we're both on the shy side.

    I didn't vote cause I wasn't sure which one to choose.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

  6. #6
    tereg's Avatar
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    My dad calls me a "shy extravert"


    I guess I'm just an enigma wrapped in a riddle shrouded in a mystery, because I don't really know.

    INFj

    9w1 sp/sx

  7. #7
    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    I don't like to think of myself as "shy," per se. I'm just "emotionally conservative."

    Seriously, I tend to be very reserved and uncertain in my self-expression until I find either one group or an amalgam of multiple groups of people with whom I have a firm enough friendship to be myself more freely. Once I've established that, then I become much more sociable in general. Having a few close or close-ish friends make me feel free to make a lot of friends, some of whom eventually become close. I just feel really unsteady until I have a group of people I know I can count on, not to provide me with anything, but just to ensure that I'm not lonely/bored out of my mind. Once that's settled I feel much more free both for solitude and for emotional expressiveness/friendliness.

    As far as shyness is concerned, sometimes it can be endearing, especially when I get to play the extrovert in a group of introverts (but I would never want to do this for too long), but in general I'm indifferent to it. I know that most shy people aren't really indifferent to people or anything silly like that, just shy. And I make friends more easily with introverts because I can't really keep up with extroverts or something. But it's not by any means a trait that influences how much I like or dislike a given person. That being said, it's nice if someone takes an active social interest in me, I suppose.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

  8. #8
    sigma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoapOfSapphire View Post
    Do you consider yourself shy? And do you like or dislike shyness in others? Why?
    I am shy but I'm using a different definition. I have social anxiety.
    This is something treatable. Using a combination of multiple techniques like: "Exposure practice", "Relaxation", "Modified thinking (CBT)", "Attention practice", I can get better at handling the anxiety.

    I will always be an introvert, nothing will change that BUT I can learn to be an introvert that handles better his moments of extroversion. An IEI that lets his Fe shine brighter.

    As for like/dislike.... There is nothing to be liked or disliked about shyness. I see it as condition that can be improved.
    "What is love?"
    "The total absence of fear," said the Master.
    "What is it we fear?"
    "Love," said the Master.

    I chose Love

  9. #9
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    I'm really not shy. Sometimes I've *felt* shy but that's totally not how it appears from the outside, from what I've gathered. Rather the opposite.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  10. #10
    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    Default x

    There is a motto in Spain:

    Shyness is the worst sin
    ILE "Searcher"
    Socionics: ENTp
    DCNH: Dominant --> perhaps Normalizing
    Enneagram: 7w6 "Enthusiast"
    MBTI: ENTJ "Field Marshall" or ENTP "Inventor"
    Astrological sign: Aquarius

    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

  11. #11
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1981slater View Post
    There is a motto in Spain:

    Shyness is the worst sin
    How's it in spanish...timidéza es el pejňr pecado or smth like that?
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  12. #12
    ILE - ENTp 1981slater's Avatar
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    La timidez es el peor pecado
    ILE "Searcher"
    Socionics: ENTp
    DCNH: Dominant --> perhaps Normalizing
    Enneagram: 7w6 "Enthusiast"
    MBTI: ENTJ "Field Marshall" or ENTP "Inventor"
    Astrological sign: Aquarius

    To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach.

  13. #13
    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
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    I am reserved, not shy. Shyness the way I understand the term means an inhibition from asserting oneself when one would wish to. I am quiet because it's what I want, not because I am unable to be otherwise.

  14. #14
    strrrng's Avatar
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    I'm usually shy – tend to maintain a baseline aloofness that doesn't alter unless circumstances affect me in some way. In one-on-one settings, I can be quite expressive in ways, and rarely experience much discomfort, unless there's something wrong with the other person. With groups, I maintain an observer role until I've gleaned enough understanding about the dynamics in the group, and feel decently acquainted with the respective individuals; at that point, I'll feel fine being more direct and expressive, but rarely occupy the spotlight for long.

    Shyness is attractive in others most of the time, because it can imply thoughtfulness, conscientiousness, introspectiveness, etc. Obviously when it's used as some coy red herring or as a meek last resort, then the allure vanishes. But generally, I find myself more attracted to quieter people.
    4w3-5w6-8w7

  15. #15
    sema sahin's Avatar
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    Yes, I definitely consider myself to be shy...I generally think shyness is a rather nice trait to have up until a point, of course...It's can be quite endearing, really.
    ﴾ لَهُمْ دَارُ السَّلاَمِ عِندَ رَبِّهِمْ وَهُوَ وَلِيُّهُمْ بِمَا كَانُواْ يَعْمَلُونَ ﴿
    "When you see an evil act you have to stop it with your hand.
    If you can't, then at least speak out against it with your tongue.
    If you can't, then at least you have to hate it with all your heart.
    And this is the weakest of faith."

  16. #16
    aka Slacker Slacker's Avatar
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    I can be shy but I'm generally not. I forgot to also mark that I find it to be an endearing trait in others.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

  17. #17
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    Yeah..blah blah blah..argh argh argh..many find shyness in others endearing/cute/some other positive thing because, look, others are shy, I am not, I am superior to them..wow, bow to me, look at my muscles, kiss me, here have some fear of me..or because, look, they're shy too, I'm not the only one who's loser here...blaaaaaaaaadlerrrgh

  18. #18

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    I was extremely shy until high school (mute may be a more accurate description), when I had to decide to no longer be shy, which was ridiculously hard to do at first.

    I am pretty outgoing now, and sometimes say tooo much. Though in some situations that are socially awkward, I will be quiet as I'm thinking "what the hell is going on" in my mind.

    Most of the time I'm really not too shy now, though I'm not always talkative, I'm always open and engage others.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

  19. #19
    Marie84's Avatar
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    Definitely timid. As a child, and well into my teens, I was clinically shy, but I've learned to be able to function a lot better as I get older. A lot of that probably has to do with feeling more comfortable and accepting with myself, but I know I'll always be timid and quiet, it's just my nature

    Quote Originally Posted by Kajagoogoo View Post
    I forgot to also mark that I find it to be an endearing trait in others.
    :redface:
    EII INFj
    Forum status: retired

  20. #20
    CheGuevara's Avatar
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    Very shy. 25 years old and virgin. Shyness sux. After I had read this description I knew what was wrong with me .
    Ni-INTj --- Harmonizing Analyst --- -
    DCNH rox

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